Feet on the Dashboard, Seat Reclined, Letting My Higher Power Drive 🫠 – Gus R.

Let's have an AA meeting. My name is Tim R and I'm an alcoholic. Welcome to the Monday Night Blue Chip Speakers meeting on Navazoom, where a member of Alcoholics Anonymous with one year or more of sobriety tells his or her story. This reading is based on a passage from page 29 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Each individual in our personal stories describes in their own language and from their own point of view the way they establish their relationship with God. These give a fair cross-section of our membership and a clear-cut idea of what has happened in their lives. We hope no one will consider these self-revealing accounts in bad taste. Our hope is that many alcoholic men and women in our Navazoom room tonight and listening later on. We believe that it is only by fully disclosing ourselves and our problems that any of us shall be persuaded to say, yes, I'm one of them too. I must have this thing. Randy Parsons is going to introduce our speaker. He's one of those guys that he's got this thing. Come and join us, Randy. Thanks, Tim. My name is Randy Parsons. I'm just another. I'm an alcoholic. And I've been knowing Gus for a long time. Sometimes I think too long. Anyway, I really am. I got a lot of guys I work with, but I can say that I'm no prouder of any of them than I am Gus. Gus, I have to tell you a little bit of this quick story. Gus was struggling trying to stay sober, and he'd done that deal that many of us do. You know, we'd get us a partner in crime of the opposite sex or whatever sex, you know, and he got him one of them little sweetie pies, and I went into the clubhouse down here in Athens one day, and they were all kind of hooked up over on the old fleabag couch, you know, and I looked at them both, and I said, Y'all know something? Ain't neither damn one of y'all going to get sober until you get away from each other. And I was right. When he finally got away from her, the jailhouse took him away from her. He was able to get sober. And when he asked me to work with him a few years ago, he has done everything and more that I asked of him, and he picked up very quickly on constant thought of others. Some of y'all don't know where that is. It's in the big book. I'm going to give you Gus. I don't want to take up any more of his time. Here's Gus Raich. Thank you, Randy. My name is Gus, and I am an alcoholic. And through the grace and mercy of a loving and caring God, I have not taken a drink or a mood-altering substance since November 20, 2012. My journey starts in... New York City, Queens, born and raised, June 9, 1977, 43 years old, grew up in a good Catholic family home. My dad, one of us, my mom, Al-Anon, so you know how the household look, you know. My dad was in his final stages of his drinking career when I started drinking. That's how I knew about Alcoholics Anonymous. As a kid, when he was first trying to get sober, I remember going to these little church basements and all these little random places in New York, and I didn't know what it was about, but a little daycare section, and my dad would go and meet up with his sponsor, and he would have a meeting, and we would go home. And it started off with, you know, taking a few sips for my dad's beer, you know. I liked the taste of that. I liked the foam from the Budweiser can. You know, every time my dad would ask me to bring a beer, you know, I'd pop the top open and take a little swig, and I'd give it to him. My first real drunk didn't happen until, I guess, I was about 13 years old, and I got bombed. You know, but something happened that day, besides me puking all over myself and waking up in a front stoop somewhere in Sunnyside, Queens, completely caged, covered in vomit. Well, I remember while I was drinking, you know, something magical happened. You know, I can't explain it, but, you know, a little bit. But, see, as a kid growing up in Woodside, Queens, it was a very diverse area, predominantly Irish, Italian, but, you know, some other races started moving in, and, you know, everybody's kind of cramped in this neighborhood, and, you know, there was a lot of friction going on. Long story short, you know, I always had this attitude of indifference. I always felt like I never quite fit in. You know, typically, that's like the story you hear from a lot of alcoholics, you know, and just felt like I just didn't belong, you know. And, of course, you know, I started hanging out with some people that were much older than me, and, you know, they introduced me to, you know, to alcohol and some other substances, and, you know. My first, I don't know, I guess I drank like it was a 40-ounce of, like, St. Ives. I don't know if you guys ever drank that stuff, but it's nasty. And I got really drunk really fast and made me sick. I didn't touch the stuff for a while. But, you know, I was a pretty decent kid besides the neighborhood that I lived in, which was kind of rough, you know. I liked, you know, playing baseball and skateboarding and stuff, and, you know, I had a certain, you know, group of friends that we all kind of grew up together. And then I started meeting some other people, and I started getting involved in some other crazy activity, you know, which later on, you know, when I was 17, I wound up getting arrested for the first time, and that was devastating to my parents. It really was, you know. My dad had to bomb me out from jail, and, you know, it was not a pretty sight. And, you know, even... Even though it was just like a little misdemeanor charge, and I think that, you know, I got a little probation and I was done with, you know, my parents started noticing that I was... My behavior was changing, you know. As I got a little bit older, I became a little bit more defined, rebellious, and, you know, they decided that it was best for me to get me out of New York and ship me down to their native country, which is Colombia, South America, you know. And... And I said, I'll go. Change the scenery, you know. But deep down within myself, you know, I've always carried around this, you know, this thing that I just didn't feel like I just fit in. And I knew once I got down there, and it's a totally different culture and country, I was like, even though my, you know, my cousins are down there, I'm never quite fitting with them. So, you know, I decided to go to a military. I decided to go to a military academy and finish up my high school over there. And it was good. And then I stuck around in the Colombian armed forces for about four years until I, you know, finally had enough. While in Colombia, you know, I really got a hold of some alcohol because alcohol is real cheap out there. It's everywhere. I mean, you don't even need an ID to buy alcohol. You can probably be nine years old and buy a bottle of liquor. Nobody would question. And, you know, when I decided that the military career was not for me, I was already in full grips of alcoholism. You know, I came back to the States, you know, and because I worked a lot with the, you know, the U.S. Army and also the Marines, they offered me a scholarship to West Point Military Academy in upstate New York. And I was supposed to report within 48 hours, and I never made it. That night, I got off the plane. First thing I did was call a couple of buddies, and we got drunk. And the party was on for years. I like to tell people, you know, my 20s were one big blackout. They really were, you know, because when I got back, I was about 22 years old. And then the next thing I know, I'm 30-something, and I'm like, wow. You know, but during the times of my drinking, I suffered a lot of consequences. I was not a safe drinker. I was not the type to, like, sit in my house and, you know, and have a couple of drinks and try to relax. No. What happened to me when I drank alcohol is I want to go out of town, and I want to raise hell. Well, with that kind of mindset, you know, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. It wasn't the truth. The thing that was that I was very sick, even at a young age. You know, deep within myself, I was spiritually sick. And the only way I can, you know, have any kind of solution was just taking a drink of alcohol. And it worked for me for a while, you know, but then, you know, just little by little, my best friend turned into my worst enemy, you know, and then I started checking in, you know, into detox centers and treatment centers and all kind of, you know, therapists and, you know, psychiatrists and, you know, everybody would just tell me I was just depressed, you know. Gus, you're just depressed, you know. Just go to the pharmacy and get you a couple antidepressants and, you know, and I'll see you in 30 days, you know. You know, but the reality was that they didn't really. They didn't really have a solution to my problem, you know. And I know that when I was in the detox center, you know, AA would show up and one of the things I did was I'd hide under the bed and I'd wait, you know, for a whole hour until they were gone because I just, for some reason, you know, I just thought within myself I wasn't like my dad. My dad was the alcoholic. I wasn't. So doing some more research throughout the years. You know, and coming up empty handed and trying to beat, you know, alcohol, you know, I finally, you know, checked into one of these AA meetings back in 2006. And that's where, you know, I started first coming around to AA for myself. And the first meeting I went to, you know, walked in, it was a church basement in Sunnyside, Queens. It was a church. It was St. Sebastian. It was St. Sebastian's, the Woodside group. And I walked in there, it was a bunch of people, like, they were much older than me. I mean, when I first walked in that room, everybody looked like Santa Claus, you know, white beards, big bellies. And it was just, I was like, wow, what did I step into, you know. But, you know, those guys, they showed me some, you know, they gave me some pamphlets and showed me the meeting book and where the meeting's at. So, but they didn't really talk to me about the program. They just said, oh, just keep coming back. You know, don't take a drink, just keep coming back. And, you know, I think I went back like a few days later and, you know, I won the drinking again and checked into another treatment center. And round and round I went for a few more months. And then I went back to another group. And this one was, it was kind of cool because it was a lot rougher crowd. Kind of like... My kind of people. And it was called K-Mail-A-Folta. And that was in Woodside, Queens. And it was a meeting started up by the Irish community. Really good. And it was formed up by this rough crowd of bikers. And they welcomed me with open arms as soon as I walked in. And, you know, they were talking about the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. And some of those guys were actually the ones that I used to go to. They were the ones that I used to go to. And I remember that meeting in that detox unit that I used to hide under the bed. I didn't know this until several months later. But, you know, so I met, I made some friends. And they were, you know, kind of told me what meetings to go to. The ones they went to. And then they introduced me to a big book study. So I happened to stumble upon this big book study on a Friday night. And it was kind of interesting because I think they were at the beginning. Of the book. And they were talking more or less. I think it was in Bill's story or more about alcoholism. And I found myself nodding the whole entire time. And I said, wow, these people get it. They understand. Because for years I was riddled. I could not understand why the fact that I would take a drink of alcohol. And then all bets were off. I couldn't stop. That blew my mind for years. You know, I just thought I was insane. I mean. You know, and, you know, I kept going around these meetings, but I knew I needed to get a sponsor. And I finally decided to go up to this one gentleman. It took a lot because I'm very hard headed. And I don't ask for help until I'm in a lot of pain. And at that point, you know, I was in great enough pain when I asked this gentleman, you know, to be my sponsor, you know, and this was my first sponsor. And the first question he asked me was, are you willing to go to any Lance or victory over alcohol? And I said, yeah. And I said, all right. Well, here's my phone number. Call me. So we called him the next day. He gave me about 15 minutes notice to show up to this to another meeting. And I showed up. I didn't know he was, you know, checking to see if I was willing. And he said, look, my home group is called the way out. And we meet up on Fridays. It's a big book study. Get a big book and show up early. You're going to be doing the coffee. And I said, all right, I'll be there. So I remember, you know, walking over there to that meeting. And I was praying and I was like, you know, I hope this works. I hope this sticks. I remember this conversation I was having with God or myself or whatever it was. And I got over there and I started making the coffee and sat down to another big book study. And, you know, and it was good. I was like, OK. So this gentleman. And started sitting down with me and working, you know, going through the hundred sixty four pages. You know, one of the things that one of the aha moments that I had was in a doctor's opinion where it says many women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. I said, I like the effect. I like it a lot. You know, but it's killing me. And as we dug deeper in the book of Alcoholics Anonymous, I was able to. To identify. And that was very important to me because nobody ever before had tried to present me any kind of solution to any of my problems. It was all shoving pills down my throat. But this this book had the answer, you know, and so going through Bill's story and there's a solution and more about alcoholism, I was able to, you know, keep shaking, nodding my head. Yes, because I understood, you know, and. And then when it finally got to, you know. The real action steps of working the fourth step. I mean, it was a it was a long, long, long step work because I had held on to a lot of resentments, a lot. I was angry at a lot of people. I had a lot of fears. I mean, I was scared of everything after I, you know, did. A thorough inventory, I was like, God, I didn't realize I was afraid of so many things. And when I sat down and did my first fifth step, I remember going down from his house. We lived a block and a half away from each other, but he lived on top of the hill. I remember just gliding back to my house. I felt like I had dumped off, you know, huge boulders size of mountains that I had. Finally released from, and it was my first experience of feeling relief. You know, and so I went back home and took the book off the shelf and, you know, and I kept going to meetings and stuff and I, you know, and I felt good. I was I hadn't quite sponsored people at that point, but, you know, I remember, you know, I felt good about myself. So I got a good job and I started making good money and and I started slacking off my meetings and I wasn't showing up to. To the big book studies and it didn't take long, you know, I mean, I think within four months I was I was flat on my face again. And, you know, and I and I actually he had caught me in the act one day because we live so close to each other, you know, it was like I lived on the second floor right around this store right around the corner from a store. And I heard the gates, the metal gates went flying up and I said, it's time. So I went down and bought two, you know, two bottles of 240 ounces of beer. So put them in the bag and I started, you know, walking out the front door, minding my own business. And I heard some footsteps while these bottles are clinging in this plastic bag. And I turned around and it was my my sponsor. And, boy, I did not drink, you know, well that day. And I was drinking miserably because I had for one, I got caught red handed and the look on his face was just terrifying. He was a he's a big man. Tim met him. And I think Randy got to see him one day, but he's a big, intimidating man. And I was just thinking to myself, I said, man, I can't believe I got caught, you know, but I was only fooling myself. And, you know, and for several months, I just. Couldn't get it together, you know, and I finally think I finally, you know, was able to kind of gather myself up a little bit. And I, you know, I decided to after I think I maybe had a little bit over a year. I decided to come back, you know, move to Georgia. And that's how me and Randy had met. You know, I moved here and came to Athens and met. I mean, I made a lot of friends right away. I landed at the. Athens Biscayne room and those guys were on fire. I mean, back then in 2006, you showed up to that little room. I mean, people were just fighting over the newcomers. It was like, come here. Here's the book. Let's read the book. I'll pick you up tomorrow. I mean, it was it was just these guys were just they were just in love with the program. They were on fire. You can tell. I mean, they were just all about the service. And I was I said, these. These are the guys I need to hang out with. And I did well for for a few months and got the same thing. Different location. Started making money. I did a good job with the state of Georgia and got me a nice car. And, you know, everything else became more important than, you know, working staffs, you know, talking to my sponsor. You know, and then I got drunk again. And I remember that day was it was a rough day. Yeah. It was a real. It was a rough day. And I had shared in a meeting. I felt like drinking. And no matter what anybody told me, my mind was already made up. I'm going downtown. I did. I went downtown Athens and I got loaded. I lost a job with the courthouse and lost a few other things and wound up going to jail, which was which was pretty humiliating because I went up in front of the same people that I was going to jail. I went up in front of the same people that I was working with and life got really bad, you know, and then I would gather myself up and and fall flat on my face. And then I got a new relationship that Randy had, you know, told you guys about. And that was unhelpful, you know, like an old buddy from back home used to say, two sickies don't make a welly. And it's true. Two sickies did not make a welly at all. So that was the most dysfunctional relationship. So that was the most dysfunctional relationship that I ever had. So that was the most dysfunctional relationship that I ever had. I've ever been in. Only through the grace of God that he saw a fit that he removed me from that situation. So I wound up in Atlanta. I needed help. I checked into Sober Living America right up the street from NABBA. Not the prettiest place, but you know what? It served its purpose. You know, they opened the door for a guy like me. And I got to show up to NABBA, and that's how I met Tim and a few other familiar faces here. And, you know, Tim was my sponsor in Atlanta, you know, and it was, I was feeling pretty good. I was at Sober Living. I was gathering some time, and they had me working, you know, one of the jobs for them. And I was a crew leader for, you know, it's a little paint company that they had started together. And it was great. You know, I was, you know, I was ready to, you know, move back home to Athens. And I remember doing, and this is a funny story, and I wish Frank was here. Because I did my fifth step with Tim, and I didn't have my license quite yet. I had a limited permit. And I was good friends with the Fulton County Sheriff at the time. And I was borrowing, he let me borrow his truck. He had a work truck, and I was using it. So as soon as I pull out of NABBA Clubhouse, I get pulled over within like 30 seconds. I had just completed my fifth step. I had to call Tim, and Tim showed up with Frank, and I was, you know. The cop gave me a hard time because I wasn't supposed to be driving to an AA meeting, which now I think it's legal. It's okay. But, you know. Yeah, I got, it was pretty humiliating because I almost went to jail. And, but anyway, long story short, I graduated sober living, moved to Athens, was doing okay for a little while. And, you know, once again, I did the same thing. Just work became more important than anything else, you know. And one of the things that Randy, you know, drilled in my head is, you know, he always reminds me of this. Don't let the gifts you have received in AA be the gifts that take you out of AA. And that's what kept happening to me, you know. Because I thought that my solution was that if I just get so much money in my bank account, I'll be okay. If I can just have this and that, I'm going to be okay, you know. But I did not work on the spiritual part of the program, you know. I hadn't fully surrendered. And that was the thing. The key element that I had missed out for years and years was that, you know, I always held on to something, you know. I was not willing to let go absolutely, you know. I still felt like I had some sort of control, you know. And it wasn't until I hit a bottom that was sufficient for me to finally become willing, you know. I was on one more final trip to Atlanta from Athens and, you know, I wound up going back to sober living. And while there for a few weeks, on a Sunday night, November 19, 2012, I came back to the recovery residence and one of my roommates were drinking. And I had a bad day. That was another one. It was such a bad day that Sunday that when I saw him, I walked into the room and he had a pint. And he had just put it on his lips and I said, let me get some of that. Well, let me tell you what happened that night. We polished off that little pint. Within seconds, we drove off to the liquor store up the street from, what is that, on Shellifer Road. Bought the biggest bottle of Taka vodka that I can buy. And we went on a joyride because drinking and driving is one of my favorite pastimes. You know, I like to drink and then go to town, like I said before. And I polished that bottle off with my buddy Eric and then I went for some more. And I'm driving all over Doraville and all over, you know, Buford. And I finally get caught on 285. And I was fine. I was driving fine. I wasn't swerving, you know. And then this police officer pulls me over. I do the field sobriety test, you know, touching my nose and doing the, you know, somersaults and backflips. And everything seemed fine until he pulled out the breathalyzer, you know. And I knew I was in trouble. And I knew I was in trouble when he pulled that breathalyzer out. And when he looked at that breathalyzer and how much alcohol content I had in my body, he asked me, how are you still standing? And what I replied to him was, I'm an alcoholic. And then, you know, I had lost a half a bottle of liquor in that car somewhere. This is how I know I was. I probably would have killed me and Eric in that car that night. But there was a half a bottle of liquor that I went missing. Couldn't find it. I pulled that. I destroyed that car trying to find that bottle. That cop found it within five minutes that he searched my car. So I wound up at the DeKalb County Jail. And, you know, I came to that morning. And it's that jail. I've been to a lot of bad jails, you know. That one's not as rough as Rikers Island. But something happened to me that night. You know, and then I knew the gig was up. You know, when I woke up that morning, I was thirsty. I was just beaten. And I knew that the fight was over. You know, I kind of was relieved that I was in jail. You know, because of all the insanity I had experienced. And then for a few weeks, I'm in there and I'm feeling okay. And then the ego started returning and I started feeling, I've done an injustice and, you know, I was facing some, one serious charge, you know. The rest were all misdemeanors. But anyway, I had met this kid. And he was from the drug court. And I was talking to him. He was in recovery. And he had, I guess he had screwed up and wound up doing like a weekend in jail. And I asked him, I was like, look, man, do you go to NABBA? He's like, no, but I, you know. A couple of my friends do. And I was like, dude, if you can do me a huge favor, I need you to look for this guy named Tim Ridgeway. I need you to tell him I'm in here. And that was a kid. I never saw that kid ever again. But I guess he made it out there because a few weeks later, this big book shows up. I remember the correction officer had popped the door and he had this little blue book under his arm. And I was, you know, it was a 20. It was a 23-hour lockdown facility. And I looked at it and I saw under his arm a very familiar book. And I said, damn, that's a big book. Who's getting a big book? Then he called my name and he gave it to me. And he said, hey, somebody sent this off to you. And I told him to pop my door. And I'm going in. And that moment, I started going through 164 pages. And I went through every single word in that book. I highlighted and underlined it. I even wrote another inventory in there. And I did a lot of praying. And I got released here to Athens, Clark County. You know, actually, when I got to Clark County, there used to be a Roy, who was one of my old sponsors. He used to put together a meeting at the jail. And while I was in there, there was a few guys that I had recognized that were school upsets. Just like me. And they had, in this good behavior dorm, they had a library. And they had a whole bunch of, you know, recovery books. So I grabbed the one guy, who's still sober to this day. And I said, man, we're going to start a big book study. And we did. First, it started with me and this guy named George. And then somebody else came in. And next thing you know, we had a full house. So we were doing. We had a big book study. And then some of the guys who had the commitment, you know, the corrections would come in, and they would do a meeting. And then I was released. And I went straight to an AA meeting. Because one of my behavior, one of my old habits was, every time I got released from jail, I'd go to this liquor store that was down on Lexington Road. I'd walk all the way over there. And this time, I had my parents pick me up, and they dropped me off at the 530 meeting happy hour. And I was so, so happy. I was so relieved to be in an AA meeting. And from there, that's when the miracle happened. And, you know, I started coming around for a year. I picked up my year medallion. I left the happy hour group because I wanted to get into service so bad. You know, I needed a commitment. And I knew that the alumni group was all about service. So I said, I'm going to join the alumni group. Right. And I've been there for six months. And I've been there for six months. And I've been there for six months. And I've been there for six months. And I've been there for seven years. And the first commitment I had was communications. And I seen Randy. And I kept bothering Randy. I kept bugging Randy. I was like, Randy, I need a sponsor. He just, I don't know. I'll think about it. And I said, every time I'd see him, I'm like, Randy, you ready yet? You ready yet? And sure enough, he finally agreed after like three months. But I wasn't going crazy because I was so involved in the fellowship. And finally, we started sitting down and going through the steps all over again. One of the things that I've learned and watching Randy and watching Randy for years, because I've also, he was watching me and I was watching him. I was watching his feet everywhere he went. You know, one of the things, one of the big commitments in my life today is the Atlanta Men's Workshop. And that was one of the things that Randy would participate twice a year. I said, I'm going to go there too. Al-Anon, started going there too. Whatever meetings Randy went to, that's where I went. Whatever Randy did, that's what I did. You know, and I knew I was in good company. So when I felt comfortable enough to leave my mother's couch, I got a little place right one block away from Randy. And I knew, I was like, if I'm going to move somewhere, I want to be real close to my sponsor, just in case it goes down. I want to be able to go knock on his door and be like, look, man. I'm fixing to do this so you know it's good enough that I see Randy a lot I go up and down the same street he just literally like a five minute walk to his house and I've been here in the same house for about seven years and you know getting involved with the Atlanta Men's Workshop was one of the hugest blessings to me because I got in with Jeff Yarbrough and Greg Lindsay and Ricky Gerard and all these guys and Frank Waters and Tim actually I wound up inheriting Tim's spot on the dishwashing group so that commitment you know kept me active and they kept me coming back you know and one of the things was the freedom that I got not only just being a part of service but also you know being a part of the fellowship and working steps and having a God of my understanding that's been doing for me what I couldn't do for myself you know for years and years and years you know I was a bad employee you know I was almost at the point I was unemployable with all the stuff I had on my record and you know several years ago while I was at Sober Living that same vision of working with these gentlemen that came into this you know halfway house with no skills whatsoever and teaching them a trade was an amazing thing I was able to start a company with just that thought and today I employed about 23 men you know they work for me and they do a great job a lot of them are in recovery and it's an amazing thing and those are just the gifts that I've received in AA you know but it wasn't until you know I did things completely different see back in the day you know and looking back at my life what I was treating you know back then was I was trying to get well financially I was trying to get well mentally I was trying to get well spirit physically but I just wasn't working on the spiritual part in the chapter chapter 5 and how it works it says when the spiritual malady is overcome we straighten out mentally and physically when I started working steps and having a spiritual awakening you know that's when everything else started falling into place I quit playing you know I quit playing God you know I let him direct my thoughts I let him direct my actions keeping my will aligned with his has been a huge part of my life you know I don't have that sense of control that I thought you know that I did back there and you know I just let him do his job I just stay in the passenger seat sometimes I get a little comfortable in that passenger seat you know I'll prop my feet up on that dashboard and recline the seat all the way back and I'm like alright God you got it but sometimes action you know has got to take some action because it says in the book as well faith without works is dead you know so I have to be involved you know be a part of the fellowship and work with other alcoholics you know in this book one of the biggest things and Joe and Charlie one of my favorite things they talk about is the big book comes alive and the one sentence to me that jumped out of my face in this book started talking me you know it's out of the chapter of interaction on page 77 where it says at the moment we are trying to put our lives in order but this is not the end of itself our real purpose to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and to the people about us and to me that was like having an epiphany you know for years I was working the steps and getting involved in service and having all kind of commitments and one day I found myself in this you know in this spot and I said why am I doing all this stuff and then it just dawned that part of the book came at me and I knew what it was talking I knew what Joe and Charlie were talking about when the big book comes alive and then the book started coming alive and real weird stuff started happening to me when that when that book started coming alive and I see Randy laughing because he knows what I'm talking about you know the book started jumping out at me you know the promises started coming you know true in my life and I really I was able to experience them and that's one of the amazing part of the program is it's not a thing that I sit down and read this book and internalize it mentally what happens to me what happened to me you know is that I got to experience the big book about Alcoholics Anonymous it opened up my soul it opened up my heart then my mind followed and everything else started falling into place you know for a lot of people and I don't know if there's any newcomers here you know and if there is I beg you to give yourself a chance you know I'm grateful that I had some really good teachers that guided me in the right direction illustrated this program of action that saved my life because I'll tell you the life I live today it's not the same life that I had back then it's not nowhere near it I got a life that's worth living today and it's only because of Alcoholics Anonymous and people like Tim and Tinsley Randy And where's that lady, I forgot her name, that gave me my first book in Atlanta. You know, it's people like you that helped me get to where I'm at today. And it's only by the grace of God, really, you know, because without God, I couldn't go through this, you know, I couldn't go through this at all. I had to find a power greater than myself because within me, I did not have that power. I didn't even have power over alcohol. So I appreciate you guys having me here tonight. It's been truly an honor, truly an honor. Thank you, Tim. And with that, thank you for letting me share. Thank you for sharing the miracle, Gus. Good job, buddy. Thank you. Gus, I wanted to thank you for your story. I also got sober after three nights at the Cab County Jail. And I went through that drug court program myself. But I went through the program. And then I came to NAVA during the drug court program. But, you know, I know how, I'd never been to Rikers Island. I grew up in Jersey, but I know how that, you know, that was the thing that changed my life, finally. Just being in there, being stripped of all of everything I had and wondering what was going to happen when I got out. And that's when I decided I was going to change. And that was a very similar time to you, too. It was 2013. Oh, yes. Right around the year. Same time. Same time. I appreciate your story. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Gus. My experience was that the Cab County was a picnic compared to Fulton. But I'm glad you got through it. And I'm glad you got tired of being sick and tired and joined us. It sounds beautiful. Beautiful human being. Thank you for sharing yourself with us. Thank you. Thanks so much. Really appreciate you telling your story. Thank you, Gus, for sharing your story. It's cool. Someone from Queens and Columbia. And it's always a little mixture like that. You know, New York. I'm originally from the New York metropolitan area, mainly New Jersey. And, yeah. Yeah. I identify with you as sort of a foreigner in New York and in America. And just sort of assimilating and being new in the two worlds and making it work and getting sober. Good job. Thank you. Thank you for sharing. Thank you. Hey, thanks, Gus. That was really great. I've been looking forward to this ever since I saw your name on the list. And that was really an amazing journey that you're on and gives me a lot of hope for others and for myself. Thanks, Gus. Thank you. Yeah. I have to reiterate, Gus. It was so great to see you back and to have this whole story laid out in front of us and know you so much better now. And, you know, I just really regret that your business has been Athens because I have all kinds of pain things. I could have. Oh, we can go to Atlanta. I'll let you know when it's time. When I finally have enough money to do it all, I'll let you know because I know you're great at it. And, you know, there's nothing more heartwarming than to see, you know, an A.A. start a business and know that that business is, you know, centered in this program. And so, you know, you can trust that person and the people that work for them. And I just love seeing your success. Thank you. Thank you, Gus. I appreciate you sharing this beautiful story. Thank you. Thank you. Gary is going to hand out the chips. Yeah. My name's Gary. I'm an alcoholic. I knew I was going to be able to give out the chips, so I just waited. But, you know, there really is something about the rock. There really is something that's absolutely positively genuine about what we do. And see, that, for me, is the nature of your story. It is positively genuine. And you get it by simply the manner in which what goes on there, but then what we carry away from the rock and what we do when we're not there. But, quite frankly, I'd rather be there. But it's just not going to be. It's just, you know, it's just the way it is. Well, anyway, we have this. This is a white chip. And, incidentally, when I give out the chips at the Gwinnett County Jail, we're virtual. These days, we also, we give out the chips, and anybody that wants to pick them up, we also give a virtual fist bump. So, does anybody want to pick up a white chip and get a virtual fist bump as well? Anybody? No? Okay. We got. Anybody have 30 days that they're proud of? And then we had a group conscience, and I was allowed to use my. This is extra special. This is extra special. 60-day chip. There we go. It's so sticky, and it has a smiley face. Anybody got 60 days? No. Okay. No way. All right. Anybody have 90 days? Used to be the color of my eyes. No. Okay. We got the sunshine chip. It matches Julie's blouse there. Yeah. Okay. Nobody there. All right. The kudzu chip. The vines of the program are growing on you. No? Okay. And then we got years or multiple, which is the blue chip. All right. We asked for the white chip a second time. Why it's that important? But anyway. Okay. No takers. Congratulations on the chip show. Thank you, Gary.