Ego Writes Its Own Commandments and Calls the Violations Resentments – Ted B.

About This Speaker Tape

Ted B., a judge from Texas City and La Marque, Texas, shares one of the most entertaining and brutally honest AA talks you'll hear. Sober since August 19, 1974, Ted describes how he opened the Caravan Club bar at 11 AM every day before holding court — often drunk, sometimes not showing up at all — while his clerk covered for him by translating his mumbled rulings into fines. He doubled as the town coroner, pronouncing everyone dead of heart attacks, and once passed out in a dead man's living room only to wake up in an ambulance because paramedics thought he looked worse than the corpse.

Ted's path into AA is a masterpiece of denial and ego. He first attended meetings as cover, claiming he was bringing a millionaire friend who was "too ashamed" to come alone. He sold his first Big Book to the millionaire's wife for ten dollars. As a judge, he started sentencing people to AA — then showing up at meetings to take attendance and check names off his list. He even sold vitamin pills to the drunks at a markup. It took an Al-Anon woman at a conference in San Antonio to finally tell him the truth: he was coming to AA because he was an alcoholic.

The turning point came four months into sobriety when the millionaire he'd been "sponsoring" — with five minutes of AA experience — killed himself with a shotgun. Walking behind the casket as an honorary pallbearer, Ted saw himself clearly for the first time: a liar, a pretender, and a cheat. He believes that moment cracked his ego open and gave him a spiritual experience that removed the obsession to drink.

Ted describes five years of two-stepping — staying sober but avoiding the steps — until resentments, fears, and panic attacks brought him to his knees worse than when he first arrived. He finally took inventory and discovered that at the root of every resentment was his fury at not being Higher Power. His message is simple and hard-won: don't take the first drink, stay in the water you're already swimming in, and the sanity promised by the steps will be there when life's troubles come.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Introduction by emcee who jokes about judges, welcomes Ted B. from Texas
• 2:00 Ted introduces himself, sober since August 19, 1974, reads a joke about milking a cow
• 5:00 Drinking vodka martinis at the Holiday Inn before holding court, clerk covering his mumbled rulings
• 10:00 Stories from the bench — woman shot in the subpoena, performing marriages drunk, the real estate man backup
• 15:00 Coroner duties and hair transplant story, philosophy of self-will run riot before ever taking a drink
• 22:00 Alcohol as courage fuel, periodic drunk walking the streets preaching sobriety, grandiose vision of himself in white robes
• 30:00 Sam Harkins gets Ted to AA through a campaign trick, Ted sells his first Big Book for ten dollars
• 38:00 Al-Anon woman Sia confronts Ted at Dallas conference — you're coming because you are an alcoholic
• 45:00 The millionaire's suicide, walking behind the casket, ego cracked open — moment of spiritual experience
• 52:00 Five years of two-stepping, inventory reveals core resentment was not being Higher Power, fish story about already being in the water