Don’t Look for the Spiritual Part of This Program — Stay Sober and It Will Find You – Julian R.

About This Speaker Tape

Julian shares his story at a Thursday night speaker meeting in Las Vegas, where he's been a member of the Mustard Seed Group in Las Vegas with a home in Boulder City. Sober since May 25, 1965, he traces his alcoholism from a first drink at 14 at a community dance in Piedmont, North Carolina — where alcohol immediately removed his fears and sense of not fitting in — through college at the University of North Carolina, Army service, and a rapid descent through roughly 20 jobs and 20 institutional stays in a four-year period of being in and out of AA.

His turning point came at a state hospital where, after smuggling in whiskey to repay the staff's kindness with a binge, he experienced a moment of clarity: the people in AA had something he wanted, and maybe if he did what they did, he could have it too. When he returned to his home group in Durham, a member named Curly shook his hand, welcomed him back, and said plainly, "Why don't you try it our way? Your way does not seem to be working too well." Julian had no argument left.

He describes the slow spiritual awakening that followed — a simple "Thank you, Higher Power" in a parking lot when he realized he hadn't been locked up or kicked out in a while, and a visitor's advice to stop chasing spirituality and let it find him. He married three months sober (against all advice), and 39 years later credits his wife's understanding of alcoholism from a high school teacher. He rebuilt his life through moves to St. Louis, Atlanta, Denver, Arizona, and finally Las Vegas in 1978, becoming deeply involved in general service work. He closes with a quote from his late friend Fred: "I thank Alcoholics Anonymous for allowing me to find a Higher Power of my understanding."

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Julian introduces himself — sober since May 25, 1965, home group is Mustard Seed in Las Vegas, welcomes newcomers
• 4:30 Growing up in Piedmont, NC as a spoiled only child — self-centeredness as the root, references Big Book pages 60-62
• 7:00 First drink at 14 — Apple Jack at a community dance, the three things that happened: it worked, he got sick, and he lied
• 10:00 Mother's death from cancer, drinking at University of North Carolina, fraternity drinking escalation, earning the nickname 'Mole'
• 14:00 Repo man job in moonshine country, kiting checks, first AA contact through a girlfriend's cousin in Winston-Salem
• 20:00 Four years in and out of AA — 20 jobs, 20 institutions, a box full of white chips, and the groups that kept welcoming him back
• 25:00 Father cuts the cord — 'I'm sorry, you cannot come back home' — the most difficult and most healing call
• 30:00 Moment of clarity in the state hospital after smuggling whiskey — 'Maybe if I do what those people have done, I can have what they have'
• 35:00 Curly's greeting at the Durham home group: 'Why don't you try it our way?' — the two-year snooping campaign to learn how people stayed sober
• 42:00 Spiritual awakening in a parking lot, marriage at three months sober, general service involvement, and closing tribute to friend Fred