Desperation Has Wiggle Room — Hopelessness Is When Every Good Idea Has Already Failed – Larry S.

About This Speaker Tape

Larry Scott tells his story at the 5th Tradition Group in August 2014, opening with a striking coincidence that echoed his late traveling partner Charlie Yowell's famous bathroom-with-a-revolver story. Larry traces his alcoholism from drinking moonshine as a boy in South Georgia, through sniffing gasoline and model glue, to full-blown alcoholism that took him through the entertainment business and a stint managing the Lynyrd Skynyrd band. He narrowly missed the fatal 1977 plane crash after an argument with an MCA Records executive — a moment he credits to Higher Power's grace.

By the 1980s Larry had escaped Jacksonville for Atlanta, but his drinking made him unemployable. He became homeless, sleeping on couches and in abandoned cars, convinced he was dying of AIDS when he was actually detoxing. His brother tracked him down and gave him the AA hotline number. Larry showed up at meetings but kept drinking for another 90 days, until December 31, 1987, when he blacked out and poured a pot of boiling water on the woman housing him, then beat her belongings with a belt buckle in front of her children. He woke up on January 1, 1988 truly hopeless — past desperation, out of ideas.

Larry spent his first five years in AA hanging out on the porch smoking cigarettes and avoiding the work. His sponsor Bill Sanders finally forced him to attend the Lenon Men's Workshop at The Rock, a spiritual retreat in middle Georgia. Hiding behind loblolly pines at the bonfire, he heard a stick break and locked eyes with another man doing exactly the same thing — and that was the beginning of real sobriety. Three men later took him through the Big Book Joe-and-Charlie style over six months, and from the night he was asked to sub for a book study, he has led one every single week since.

He closes with a challenge to the room: sit in your chair, close your eyes, and listen to whether a newcomer can hear the solution in your meeting. He quotes Sylvia Kay from page 276 of the Big Book about inner freedom and the unusual quality of AA fellowship, and shares his four answers to prayer — yes, no, not right now, and "I cannot believe you prayed that crap."

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Larry opens with the eerie Charlie Yowell coincidence before the meeting and introduces himself
• 4:30 First drink as a boy — moonshine in South Georgia, then gasoline sniffing and model glue
• 8:00 Junior high alley scavenging for leftover booze in Jacksonville and Drink or Swim bars
• 10:30 Working with the Lynyrd Skynyrd band and narrowly missing the fatal 1977 plane crash
• 14:00 Escaping to Atlanta in 1980, becoming unemployable, girlfriend kicks him out in September 1987
• 19:00 Homeless and detoxing on a stranger's couch — brother calls the hotline, Larry starts going to meetings but keeps drinking
• 24:00 December 31, 1987 blackout violence — the moment of complete hopelessness
• 30:00 Old-timer stories — Bob saying 'you're right on schedule' and Jack Blaylock's bad checks turned over to the sheriff
• 37:00 Sponsor Bill Sanders forces him to The Rock retreat — hiding behind pines at the bonfire and the stick-break moment
• 45:00 Three men take him through the Big Book Joe-and-Charlie style — begins leading book studies and meets Charlie Parmalee
• 52:00 Players vs. fans challenge, Iceland prayer story with Jan the Viking, and closing with Sylvia Kay's passage from page 276