At 52,300 Feet Where the Sky Turns Black I Saw the Curvature of the Earth — My First Spiritual Experience – Scott L.

About This Speaker Tape

Scott L. from Nashville shares his story at the Maryland State Convention, beginning with his first drink as a college freshman and the instant psychic change alcohol produced — suddenly he felt tall enough, smart enough, and as good as everyone else for the first time in his life. He traces this need back to a childhood conviction that he was fundamentally defective, which drove him to become an actor who pretended to be whoever people wanted him to be, living by what he calls the John Wayne syndrome: never cry, never ask for help, never show weakness.

Scott became an Air Force pilot flying T-38 supersonic jets, routinely flying hungover with force-4 hangovers, once taxiing drunk off the end of a taxiway at a classified base in Vietnam at 4 AM. He describes the insanity of quitting forever every night while puking, then heading back to the officer's club the next evening for "just one beer." After losing his commission and becoming a traveling salesman, his business partner intervened in 1984. In treatment, unable to sleep for three nights, he had a profound spiritual experience — screaming out to Higher Power for forgiveness over the worst thing he'd ever done, and receiving it in a moment of overwhelming light and release.

His sponsor Jerry taught him that the program IS the 12 steps, not meetings alone, and that willingness means doing what your sponsor says whether you feel like it or not. Scott emphasizes the fourth step as observations and prayers rather than writing, the forgiveness process, and sponsorship by assignment. He shares that his daughter survived a self-inflicted gunshot wound in 1992, and how his home group maintained a 24-hour watch at the hospital — not to keep him from drinking, but so someone would be there to hold him if he needed to cry at 3 AM. He closes with a story about seeing the curvature of the earth at 52,300 feet in a T-38, which he later recognized as his first spiritual experience.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Introduction and greetings from the Backroom Group in Nashville
• 4:00 First drink as a college freshman — the instant psychic change from two beers
• 7:00 The John Wayne syndrome and childhood conviction of being defective
• 10:00 Flying T-38 supersonic jets hungover — the daily cycle of quitting forever and drinking again
• 18:00 Vietnam — taxiing drunk off the taxiway at 4 AM on a classified mission
• 22:00 Corrections work and the story of a man from prison thanking him for his freedom
• 28:00 Treatment center spiritual experience — screaming for forgiveness and receiving it in a moment of light
• 35:00 Sponsor Jerry's garbage can metaphor and the definition of the program as the 12 steps
• 42:00 Daughter's suicide attempt July 4, 1992 — home group's 24-hour watch at the hospital
• 52:00 Last flight at 52,300 feet seeing the curvature of the earth — his first spiritual experience