Almost Drank Rather Than Take Step 6 Because I Liked the Defects That Were Killing Me – Avery S.

And like a lot of people, I came to know our speaker through her work in the central office. And I know she had such a warm and encouraging attitude towards service in a recent excursion of mine. And I'm certain I'm not the only person she's shown that attitude to. And I'm very excited to hear her story. And with that, we have Avery. Hi, everybody. My name is Avery, and I'm an alcoholic. And as I was listening to the promises, I thought to myself, when they say we will be amazed before we're halfway through, I am still amazed that normally I would have to have a drink today, but I haven't had to have that drink since January of 1982. And I am so grateful for that. It's been 43 years. And I am still amazed. Before I was halfway through, I was amazed because this thing really works. And it do amaze me that it works. And sometimes you may not know how it works, but what's important is that it works if I work it. And I understand that, too. It's more than me reading the book. I have to actually practice. I have to actually practice these principles in all my affairs, and then I realize that I can tell you about it, but I can't share my experience with you, but I can't give you my experience. You get the experience by actually practicing these principles in all your affairs, and if you don't practice them, you don't get the experience. And sometimes the experience is even hard to verbalize and articulate. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. Because you're still amazed that this thing really works. So I'm just grateful to be here and grateful to be sober. And I'll tell you how it was. I was born in Chicago. And both my mother and my father were alcoholics. But I didn't know so much about alcoholism as growing up. I did know that my mother and father, I never remembered them being together. But my father was always. My father was always. My father was always. My father was always a part of my life. And my mother always said that she wasn't with my father because of his drinking. And my mother, I used to say when I was talking that I started to realize that my mother, I would say, was the worst alcoholic than he was. Because even though my father wasn't in our lives, my mother, when she drank, my mother would leave. And by the time I was a kid, I was a drunk. was left with the kids and it was 10 of us but I had to my mother was an alcoholic woman with kids and that's why I always thought that she was I had to come into identification to realize the reason why I thought she was worse is because she was an alcoholic woman with kids and that I had the experience of her drinking and leaving us and as me being the oldest one at home because my two oldest brothers were in their late teens so they were off somewhere and I was left with my brothers and sisters and sometime I had to figure out ways that we were gonna get food because sometime when my mother would drink she may be on her way to the grocery store so therefore we would be there and we may not have food but my grandmother was a saving grace she made sure that we were not going to be separated. She did everything she could in fact one time she even went into the hospital and she knew this would happen and so my grandmother told us if ever we needed anything we could go to her house and get it me and my sister and do the history about Alcoholics Anonymous and how it was and how it was insanity or death and institutions and jails. Women. My mother ended up in a lot of institutions and as a result my grandmother would even hire us a housekeeper and I remember one time I went to my when my mother was in went to see her and she was in different hospitals at the time they didn't have these fancy treatment centers like they had and like Bill W and the rest of them she ended up in the institution and usually they named the institution after whatever it was. Like she was in a city a county of his in. So I knew all the names of the different institutions and one time I went to see my mother after my grandmother forced her in. They don't do that today but my grandmother used to coach her out of one of the taverns and have the police there and sign her into an institution against her will and they don't do that today but she did it and I went to see my mother once and I remember my mother said she was in the institution. asked mother to get me out of here I'm not crazy and I knew she wasn't crazy but at 11 years old I didn't know what was the matter and I remember thinking as I walked away that I'm not going to tell my grandmother any such thing because at least I knew where my mother was now and the other thing I thought but when it happened to me guys I didn't know it had happened to me because I had did all the things that I thought would prevent it from happening to me I made sure I finished school I married I had one child and I thought it even had something to do with the amount of kids you had and my mother used to always say y'all drive me crazy and then she might leave and so I even related it to that I only had one child and I married and my husband married an alcoholic so that marriage lasted about three years and then I was divorced but I used to tell my grandkids I got two grandsons and I want them to be on the right road and I tell them you know hey you know I was signing for my first house before I was 21 years old my only problem was I thought they might not give me the house because I wasn't 21 yet and then I had to think back I had a drinking problem then and I didn't know it big corporation you know it was one of the tallest buildings in the world at the time I lived I worked on uh it was overlooked in South Shore Drive and I worked on the 39th floor and I thought I had it made and I had a nice car I had a house and so I thought the alcoholic was somebody else I never dawned on me I had a drinking problem until that I was about to lose that good job and I'm gonna tell you too my attitude was I felt like that job was interfering with my drinking I wanted to lose it because it was hard for me to drink and go to the club at night get home at four or five o'clock in the morning and be work at eight and so I thought this job this job needs to go and so it's a typical alcoholic the job was interfering with my drinking and then so I had no idea I had a drinking problem and this is what happened uh one day I was uh I had been off work for a week and I was drinking and my job working at this corporation I had to call my supervisor every day I couldn't just be sick for a week they wanted to hear from you so every day I called in sick and Thursday I called in and I said I feel a lot better I'll be in Friday I said on my front porch and bring your hat to call me and so I'm still sitting there drinking Thursday night and somewhere in the middle across the street and I thought wow something that's like they're having a good time over there I think I'm gonna go over across this street see what's happening and my neighbor was had made some homemade wine and I started drinking over there and when I started drinking over there about two o'clock in the morning two three o'clock in the morning my regular pattern I'm ready to go home and I was thinking oh my god I don't have my keys you know I'm locked out and so uh my neighbor offered her son-in-law to take me back to my house across the street so somehow he climbed through the window and he was able to come around to the front door and open the door for me well when he opened the front door for me and I stepped in he leaned in to kiss me and at that moment my friend that I had asked to bring me a half pint and a six pack walked out the back and said Avery is that you and it scared this man he jumped off the second floor he was all right he kept running and he used to look at me strange after that right but I had simply I was in a blackout and I forgot I even had company that's why I wasn't locked out but that was the beginning of the end and I'm telling you a lot of stuff happened in between there but that was the beginning of the end because see I had no no idea that I had a drinking problem but when I woke up that morning it was about 11 o'clock I had missed work again so my first thought was wow what am I going to call the job and tell them because I've already told them I felt well and I'd be right in and that was just one of the many excuses I had used so I thought what haven't I told them what can I say after I told him I was well and my only thing I could think to say I need to call them and tell them I'm in the hospital that one I had not used is about what hospital I could get into and the only hospital that I found that I could get into happened to be an alcohol treatment center and I thought I didn't have insurance I called several of them when they told me how much it cost I was like oh I don't have that kind of money I can't go in there you know and I'd hang up and one of them she said I'm in the hospital and I'm in the hospital and I'm in the hospital and I'm I said Avery wait a minute when I was about to hang up she said do you have insurance now working for a big corporation I said yeah I have insurance I said but I don't my insurance wouldn't cover anything like that my child don't have any kind of thing you know that covers that and she said hold up let me call you back she said what kind of insurance you have and I told her and she called me back and said you insured I'm an alcoholic I don't read insurance policies. I had no idea that I was insured. I was able to go into a nice facility right off of Lakeshore Drive, not far from where I worked. When I went in there, I wasn't there for that. I was there to try to save my job. So my plan was to go through the medical department, because we had a big medical department, and I knew they had to keep it confidential why I was there. All I wanted them to do was tell my supervisor that I was in the hospital, and that's all they would be able to reveal to her. So I went in on the weekend. Monday morning, I'm on the phone taking care of my business, and I'm calling the medical department. And at that point, the nurse came up to me and said the counselor wanted to see me. And I said, oh, you want to see me now? And I'm on the phone. I'm on the phone trying to call the medical department. She said, yeah. I said, okay, just a minute. So after I got through telling the medical department I was in the hospital and all, I walked into the counselor's office, and he said, Avery, what seemed to be the problem? What brought you in here? And I looked around like I'm shocked. I'm surprised to be there. And I said, wait a minute. I don't need to be in a place like this. And he looked at me like he was surprised I was surprised. He said, hold up. Rarely do people get in here by mistake or accident. If you're here, chances are you are in the right place. And he handed me the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous and told me to go to my room and read the first 164 pages. And it was in my room that I was reading the big book, and I started crying in the book. Because, you see, guys, the big book was about me. And then I thought about my mother and my father. And I had my sister, my brothers, at that time had a drinking problem. And my thought was maybe I could help my family, you know. And so I decided to stay in that 28-day program. So I thought I had taken the first step when I admitted that I was an alcoholic because I went in there not knowing. So I decided. I had to stay in the 28-day program. And they made it clear. We had AA meetings coming in there. And I got familiar with Alcoholics Anonymous. And so I thought, well, I'm going to do this 28-day program. I was so happy to find out there was something wrong with me. And even when I talked to the counselor also, and the other thing he told me, which was very important, I went on to tell him. If I had a drinking problem, it was because I had my fiancé had been in the hospital. And he was given three years to live. And once I found that out, I'd never forget it. And so I just knew I was an alcoholic. And the other important thing he told me, he said, Avery, if you think back, you'll probably find that you had a drinking problem long before you met that man. And I thought back. And I started to remember. I had my worst car accident before I even met him. And I had a head-on collision driving down 79th Street because the club I went to was on 79th Street. And I went to sleep at the wheel. And I woke up, and I was in the opposite lane. And this car was coming straight at me. And I woke up at a distant time to move to my lane. But the man, I was so close. I was so close to him, he moved over to my lane, too, and we still hit. And I thought back to that. And that was before I even met him. So I needed to know that. Because, see, I thought he was the reason for my alcoholism. Instead of knowing that I had alcoholism and he wasn't the reason, I had to know the truth because it helped me later on. Because when he passed, I knew that he wasn't the reason why I drank. And then I didn't have to drink. I stayed in that 28-day program. They made me know that if I was going to stay sober, that wasn't a cure. I had to make AA meetings on a regular basis if I wanted to maintain my sobriety. Now, I made a couple of mistakes. The first one was I thought, what idiot would drink after learning all that I had learned in that 28-day program about me? And that I was an alcoholic. And I said, what idiot would drink after that? You know, but even Bill W. talked about it. He said self-knowledge meant nothing. It didn't matter what I knew. I had to do what I knew. And I could not do what I knew until I conceded to my innermost self in that treatment center when I admitted I was an alcoholic. I didn't know that I just gave a lip service. Intellectually, I knew that I was an alcoholic. But it really had to leave my mind and enter my heart. And my heart would admit what my mind never could. And I wasn't able to do that until I drank. And I'm going to tell you all the things I didn't do so you don't have to go there. I walked in the door to my first meeting. And when I walked in the door, I looked at everybody. And the first thing I thought, I'm not as bad as everybody else. I'm not as bad as everybody else. And these people have to make meetings on a regular basis once a week should be enough for me. Because you see, I still had my nice house. I still had my good job. And I still had my nice car. And that was the first mistake I made. So I came to AA anyway after I found AA. And I am just so lucky that I would be in a meeting like this. Once we dropped hands from the Lord's Prayer, I was out that door. And I was halfway down the street. And one day, a guy came running after me. And he said, hey, you. I pointed to myself because he didn't know my name. And he said, come here for a minute. He said, what's your name? And I said, my name is Avery. He said, look, we don't even know you. He said, you don't stay in fellowship once the meeting is over. You are out the door. You get here just in time. We don't even know you. And he said, look, I don't want to be your sponsor. I want to be your friend in the alcoholic phenomenon. And that, because even though I was still drinking, he didn't know that. Because I had one foot in AA and one foot in the club. And so when I slipped, I was slipping into the club. And so as a result of him doing that, whenever I drank, now I could come to a meeting. And I had somebody. I had somebody to tell the truth about what was happening. He said, Avery, why aren't you at work? And I tell him, you know, I drank last night and go in to tell him what happened. And he said, you got to mess around and lose that job. Now, look, that's why I went into treatment in the first place, to save that good job that was really interfering with my drinking. And he said, you're going to lose that job. And I said, I'm not going to lose my job. And he said, Avery, that's not your job. That's those people's job. They just let you work there. I mean, I was hearing the truth from different places. And so I kept coming back. And I'm going to tell you what happened. A lot of times I came back when I didn't want to come back. Because it was easier for me to surrender to the disease than to surrender to this program. And so I had decided AA just didn't work for me. I tried to tell him I was one of those people in higher work that they talk about. He said, what? What people are you talking about? I said, you know those people, the people that they say, you know, rarely do we see a person fail who has followed our path, but except those people who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. And he said, oh, heck no, I'm not letting you get off that easy. Because I'm trying to surrender to the disease because it's easier. And so I keep coming back even when I didn't want to. And what happened is you guys didn't. You gave me hope. Because every time I walked in that door, I didn't care if I had drank. I never went to a meeting while I was drinking. And a lot of times people thought I had been sober longer than I had because they'd seen me for three years and I wasn't able to get this thing. But I kept coming back. And what you did is you gave me hope until I could get recovery. And so after I was six months sober. When is it going to happen? When is it going to happen again? It always happens. You know, I was on my way to a meeting and I felt good and I was sober and I hadn't drank and I was on my way to my women's meeting. And then I thought when is it going to happen again? It always happens, you know, and all of a sudden fear came in and so and but I still made it to the meeting. And when I got there, I opened up the 24 hour book and it was on March the 5th, I remember the date. And that book said, a lot of us try too hard to get this program when God had given it to us as a free gift when we're ready, but we have to be ready. And then all we have to do is sit back and relax and accept it with gratitude and humility. And it also says there's no room for fear where there's faith. I remember it so good, my fear. And I'm so grateful. That was, I celebrate that. I'm so grateful. Thank you. How did you get on the program? I actually got on the program on January the 30th, 43 years he had already gave it to me. I didn't know it. And it was just that easy. I was ready. I had to be ready. And then all I had to do was accept it with gratitude and humility. And it makes a difference what you do. I can know the program. I could go to book studies, but I have to practice these principles in all my affairs. And that first one, they always talk about the spiritual part of the program. part of the program to me the first step was spiritual because when they had to leave my mind and into my heart to me when I say when somebody say point to yourself I don't point here I point here and they had to leave my mind and into my heart and to me that was spiritual because that's my innermost self and once it did that I didn't only know I was an alcoholic I was able to do what I knew looking at my watch when I got home thinking this barn had orange juice because see that don't make sense for an alcoholic I never went to the bar and had orange juice that's when I'd wake up for a hangover then I had to stop drinking and trying to sit in the car with my boyfriend while he snapped the cap over half time and I remember this guy used to stand up in the meeting he used to introduce himself say my name is Jimmy and I'm an alcoholic and anytime I'm anywhere and I feel uncomfortable one minute later I've been somewhere else for 59 seconds and I heard him one day when I was sitting in the car my boyfriend snapped the cap of that half pint I got out of that car so fast that I was upstairs in my apartment and he was calling me on his car phone then he said he's big car phone and he called me and he said Avery I said and I woke up sober and see all these different experiments let me know wait a minute this thing was working but it wasn't what I knew it was what I do and I had to start doing what I knew and as a result of all those little things and me changing my behavior it started working for me and that's why I was able I was six months sober when that job relocated me to Houston Texas I was able to make that decision to relocate because of this program I felt like I could do it it wasn't even me as far as I went was to the club and to the liquor store I hadn't even changed addresses let alone cities and states but because of this program I had the confidence to do something different but the people knew that I was a flipper and they still worried about me so when I got ready to leave one person slipped put something in my hand it was a bumper sticker that said I had a long time on my car another person put a number in my hand and said call this number when you get there and when I got to Houston I called this guy and his name was Lloyd B and he was in service Lloyd sponsored me into service and what he did he went into the penitentiary maximum security to carry the message to women who was behind bars and I thought he was inviting me to go in there because he liked my company and who wouldn't want to hang out he had 25 years sobriety he happened to be one of the first black men to get sober in Houston Texas and so yeah I wanted to hang with him it was him his wife this other girl it was two other girls and one of them was going to become my sponsor I see I had never had a woman sponsor before and she was so happy to see me when I came into the room she ran up to me when Lloyd brought me to a meeting and she said Avery I need to show you where you can get your hair done and your nails done and you know she was just so excited to see me and I was looking at her because she's kind of short I'm looking down at her thinking wait a minute we are not going to be friends I don't even like women you know all my people have been men you know the guy who came out there and said hey you you know it was me that I was gravitating toward and I was like we're not going to be friends now I don't know what and she used to come across town to see me and she'd come across town to see me and I had to plan things for us to do because she had drove so far and so I went to the health club a lot so we'd be in the health club and we'd be enjoying ourselves we could spend the day in there because it was a real nice health club we'd go to the jacuzzi one day in the jacuzzi she looked across at me and she said Avery you finally opened up to let me be your friend and I didn't even realize she was picking up on the fact that you know I wasn't trying to be friends right and the other thing she told me one day when we was in the jacuzzi she said Avery have you ever took step four and five and I said no no no no look this girl had three months more than I had I had a year at that time and she had a year and three months and she said have you ever taken step four and five I said no she said why not I said because I don't know how she said well you're going to find out how we're going to go on a retreat and you're going to take your fourth and fifth step and sure enough she took me on a retreat and she guided me through the fourth and fifth step she go out there and do some of the meetings and she come back so how you doing you need any help and she guided me through it when it was time for me to take the fifth step with the priest she hunched me like this Avery do it do it now I mean she was determined that I was going to do this and I didn't realize look that girl saved my life because she the person who came to Alcoholics Anonymous would have drank again I was doing some craziness in my life that she didn't know about but I ended up talking to her on one of those trips to the penitentiary because it was a six hour drive one way and Lloyd had come one time that last time he came and next thing I know he said this is your baby I won't be back I was like what and me and her and the other two ladies I didn't know he was just going in there to say he got some women to go in there and he went to the men's facility and so we would go once a month. And this particular time, everybody had counseled except her and I. And I knew I had to tell her things I had never told anybody. And I waited until we got deep into the drive. And I said, Princella, I need to tell you something. And she said, uh-oh, this must be Biggie. Because she knew we talked about everything. But we had not talked about this. And I had to share with her some things I had never told anybody. And I took my fifth step with her. And I realized she saved my life. Because this woman guided me through the steps. And I had even told her that I would never take steps six and seven. I told her that after I took step five in that little conference we was at. I told her I'm out there. Because I realized in step six, the things that was coming. The things that was killing me, I liked them. That's how I got what I wanted. And I wasn't willing. And I told her I would never take steps six and seven. But what I didn't realize as you go through the steps, it prepares you for the next step. You think that you don't want it or you can't do it. And by the time you take five, you got what you need to take six. And I almost drank again when I told her that I was never going to take six and seven. Because I was doing some crazy things. And I told her, I'm not going to take six and seven. But I went through a lot of craziness in my life. And even though I hadn't drank in a year, somebody made me mad and I went to the freezer and I got a beer. And because I had shared with her in my fifth step, I picked up the phone and I told her, I said, you know, I think I'm ready to take steps six and seven. I said, my life is hurting. And she said, I never quite heard it put like that before. I said, I say my life is hurting because it's not like I can take two actions at a time. And I told her, I'm not going to take six and seven. But I told her, I'm not going to take six and seven. She said, I'm not and to make her feel better. And what I was doing was hurting my sobriety. And so I took my sixth and seventh step, and I am so grateful. When I was 11 years sober, I went back. I relocated to Atlanta, and I went back to Houston, and I asked Princella. I said, why did you take me through the steps? I said, you wasn't my sponsor. You were just my friend. She said, Avery, I was so glad to have a friend when you moved to Houston. I wanted to make darn sure you didn't drink. And that's what a sponsor do. They guarantee your sobriety by taking you through the steps of alcoholic phenomenon. And I remember leaving. I was 11 years sober, and I thought, she's been my sponsor all the time. I said, and I was 11 years sober. And I said, we were friends. But, see, they used to call a sponsor a friend. The same way that guy came out and said, I don't want to be your sponsor. I want to be your friend. They used to call a sponsor simply a friend. And they'd take you through the steps and give you what was necessary to stay here. I didn't tell her that she was my sponsor until we were 20 years sober. And that's because I was going to go to Houston. And she celebrated in September. I celebrate in January. And I was going to go on her birthday and give her this medallion. It said, my strength, my strength. My strength, my sponsor. And it's a medallion I was going to give her to break the news to her that she was my sponsor. And I had bought her a card because she was celebrating 20 years. But September 11th happened. And as a result, I couldn't make it to Houston. But then I spoke in Denver, Colorado in February. I spoke 20 years sober. And when she came to hear me speak. I knew that was the time I was going to tell her. And I didn't know how she was going to take it. Because she had 15, but she didn't think she could be friends like that with people she sponsored. And so, I knew I was going to tell her when she was in Denver. And so, we were on the bus. It was snow on the ground. And I was looking for the perfect place. And I seen this little coffee shop. And it was perfect. It was called the Tattered Cover. And we went in there. And they had the nice little coffee. And the bookstore and everything. They had these little lounges. And you could lay back. And we were sitting there on the couch. And I got her some coffee and everything. And I gave her the card. That said, my friend, my strength, my sponsor. And I didn't know how she was going to take it. And she started crying. And I knew we were going to be all right after that. And after we got back from Denver, she said, Avery, I'm sending you a package. Look for a package in the mail. And when I got back to Atlanta, sure enough, I walked up to my door one day with this big package in front of the door. And I opened it up. And it was a picture framed of us in Denver. And we had our arm around each other. And she had it enlarged. And at the bottom, it said, friends forever. To my friend and my sponsor. Oh, my God. And we just left the international convention that they had in Montreal. And it was wonderful. She came from Houston. And I met her at the airport in Vancouver. And we did the international convention in Vancouver. And we both have 43 years sobriety. And I love my sponsor and my friend. I'd like to tell you that everybody in my immediate family had died from alcoholism. And I just want to tell you about the first time that I prayed and I didn't ask God for anything. The 11th step. Where it said, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out. I never thought I could pray and not ask God for anything. But what I realized is when I turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand him, I'm in his will already. I don't have to ask him for anything. And so this particular time, I found out that my only child, my daughter, had a drinking problem. And I told God, I said, I am not telling her because everybody in my immediate family I had told had died from alcoholism. And my sister that was right next to me, when I told her, she not only rejected the message, she rejected me for bringing her the message. So I said, I'm not telling my daughter. And I dropped down on my knees and I just said, God, you gave her to me. I'm giving her back to you. And. And when I celebrated 43 years in January, my daughter celebrated. And I told you my mother was an alcoholic woman with kids. Well, one day, you know, I got two grandsons. I told you they're both. One of them is 30 and one of them is 31. They have never seen my daughter and I take a drink. And one day I picked up my grandsons because I would pick them up every Friday. I'd go to Six Flags with them. I was enjoying them. We'd have a good time. And this particular Friday, I picked them up from school and my grandson was both of them was in the back. They were about eight, nine years old. And the oldest one, his name was Avery. He was in the backseat and he stuck his head through the little bucket seat while I was driving. And he tilted his head because he wanted to see my face. And he said, Grandma, you raised a good mom. So great. And I was so grateful that he had never seen either one of us drink. And we broke that cycle right then. And my daughter is an excellent mother. And both my grandsons admire both of us. And we just have fun together. And I want to tell you, you know, now, when she introduced me, she said that I worked for the Central Office of Alcoholics Anonymous. I went back to school to be a cosmetologist. I thought that was great. I thought that was the job that I wanted. And what happened is our character defects will return, and it's how we recognize them and handle them that show the extent of our progress. When I was about to buy a beauty salon while I was in cosmetology school, I had gotten $10,000 in my accounts to buy this salon. And I realized I lied and to get the money. And what happened when I realized what I was doing? I said, I don't know. I sent the money back. And as I was sending the money back, when the job came open in the Central Office, I was available because I wasn't a salon owner. And this girl asked me one time, she said, well, Amy, did you ever get your salon? Did you ever get it? Because I thought God was going to make a way for me to get this salon because I did the right thing. And I said, no. I worked for the Central Office of Alcoholics Anonymous, the best job I ever had. And I love what I'm doing. And it's by my doing God's will that I'm in God's will. And it's the care to defects that's standing in the way of me having what God wants for me. And I'm just grateful to be here and grateful to be sold. So thank you. Thank you so much, Avery. That was wonderful. And I am so grateful that this program is here to give us an option not to. Right. We've asked Kyle to do the tips. Kyle, I'm an alcoholic. Kyle. Grateful member of Alcoholics Anonymous. Thank you. Avery, that was great. We have a chip system that marks our time away from our last drink. The first chip we give out is the white chip for anybody who would like to give up the high cost of low living and try our way of life out. Yeah. For a white chip, after 30 continuous days of not drinking, we hand out a silver chip. Bronze chip for 60 days. A red chip for 90 days. Yeah. We got yellow chip for six months. We have a green chip for nine months. Do you know we're celebrating something? Does anyone have one year or multiple? This is my sponsee, Vivian. And I always tell my sponsees, don't do what I say, do what I do. And do you know what? They do that. And as a result, they keep me doing what I do. And Vivian, I always call Vivian my right hand woman. Because I go a lot of places in alcoholism. It's synonymous. And I remember we used to have little maps that we'd print off and maps of where we was going in the metro Atlanta area. And I'd be driving and Vivian would be on my right hand reading the maps to me, telling me where I was going before I got a GPS, right? And she'd be my right, I used to say she's my right hand woman. And she always, she don't just do what I do, she do it with me. I remember the only time. I remember the only time that she was actually on my left hand, he was 40 years sober when he asked her. And then Vivian was doing the driving and I was on the other side and she was taking me to see him. She's always been there, always doing service, she's always involved, and a lot of times she's always with me to the point they think we're sisters. I have gone to an event like at the assembly, and they're talking to Vivian. And I'm thinking it's me. And Vivian be saying, I think you think I'm angry. But that's okay, it shows how you've been with me all that time and I appreciate you. And as a result, you follow right behind me. She's celebrating 41 years. Thank you. Thank you. My name is Vivian and I am an alcoholic. And this is my 41st today. I walk through the day of. I walk through the day of Alcoholics Anonymous on October in New York. And so when I came to Atlanta, I was three years sober. When I saw Avery, you know, because she always dressed real nice, I said, hmm, I want to be like that. So I asked her to be my sponsor. We have been hanging ever since and thank you for your story as always. I always hear your story and every time it's different and I get a different message. And so, and I appreciate that. But you know what guys, this fellowship does work. I remember I had 15 years in recovery. I had just lost all of my desire to go to meetings. And my character defects came back. I was one of those manipulating people. So I got this money and a guy who I went to school with was living with me. He was an electrician, so you know he made good money. So anyway, I got this money from him. I went on this cruise and I got back and I knew he was a cocaine user and drank. I get in the house, he had this beer and all this stuff. I said, oh my God, I must be going crazy. And it's important to know yourself, being aware of yourself because I knew something was wrong with me now. I said, you know what, you're going to have to go. So he left, you know, I threw him out and ran to Avery's house and I, you know, I said I was ready. But she wasn't home. I said, oh God, let her know. I said, I'm coming over. And that next day, I've been doing service ever since because that's what we did early on, service work. But then, you know, I got complacent like we all do sometimes. But it's being aware of yourself, you know, like she was talking about that knowledge and going here and then conceding to your heart. That's important, guys. And so I congratulate those guys who just started. That's your flagship. Keep coming back, baby, because it didn't work. My 30 day or whatever it was. Keep coming back. That's all I know. Thank you. 84 years between these two women.