The Insanity of the Alcoholic – 9th Workshop – Part 2 of 2 – Local AA Speakers

Good evening, everybody, and welcome to our ninth installment of the Big Book is Alive workshop. I'm a recovered alcoholic, and my name is Mike Chase. And I'm also a recovered alcoholics, and I'm Mike Chase, and we're going to be talking I'm not an expert, but I am a recovered alcoholic, and our spiritual duty is to put newcomers' hands in God's hands as quickly as possible. We have found this to be the most effective by doing our part to make the Big Books come alive. As a disclaimer, we are not experts. We are just a couple of recovered alcoholics that love the Big Book. However, we have made it our utmost spiritual errand to become as familiar with the facts and the history as possible. In other words, if we are reading from the Big Books, it means that we are studying what we know to be a divine solution to alcoholism. At other times, we may share an experience, an observation, or an opinion. And we certainly encourage you to investigate the history and do your own research as you grow spiritually. Basically, we aim to reproduce what we do with our students slash sponsees in a one-on-one session with a bigger audience. This, however, should not replace your own personal one-one work with your own teacher or sponsor. Absolutely. You know, big book workshops, bigbook meetings never, never will replace the one-in-one experience of one alcoholic working with another. Or I guess if Dr. Bob and Bill W. and the other 42, 67 thought that a group process of recovery would work, we would have filled Madison Square Garden. So nothing, I repeat, nothing will replace the one-on-one experience of one alcoholic reading the book with another alcoholic. So that's right. This is Work Stop Style Study, and our aim is to invigorate your current experience with God. Tonight, we aim to continue to cover from more about alcoholism. My favorite part, we're going to meet three amazing people. That's right. But we always appreciate spiritual consent to allow God to lead us. Does that give me the opportunity to rant once in a while? I should hope so. That's what it is. As we study tonight's material, please enjoy the pages we've uploaded to MikeChase.org. Underneath the podcast, you'll find a link where you can click on and you can actually download and read along from the big book, first edition that we've highlighted and underlined in the first edition big book. There you'll fine reference to the specific highlighting structure that we are referencing as we study. This will give you a completed teacher's edition textbook too if you want to follow along and highlight along with us. Before we begin our study of the big books, We'd like to invite you to join us in a brief two-minute meditation. We do this for a definite spiritual reason, and that is to allow God to remove all forms of self which might block us from the sunlight of the Spirit so that we may have a clear connection with God as we study. So before we actually started this meeting, Joe did about a 15-minute medication getting reconnected to God. Now we're going to do it one more time that we're in the process of this. We definitely find that the meditation and prayer is important to this big book workshop and big book one-on-one that we do so what we're basically going to do is we're going to shut up for two minutes we're gonna invite the monks back into the room they're out in the hallway practicing still um and we're gunna set the timer for two minutes at the end of two minutes joe's gunna jump into a prayer for us so if you want to join us um if you're driving of course don't um but uh turn turn down the lights get comfortable and just sit up straight, concentrate on your breathing in, out, in, out and get reconnected to God in a better way. So when we come back and we start studying, we got a really good connection. So we're going to get some stuff going here. We got the timer started and we'll see you all on the other side. Thank you. CHOIR SINGS CHOIR SINGS Satsang with Mooji Amen. And the Lord be with you all the days of your life. Joel, dear God, please set aside anything i think i know about myself about my disease about the big book the 12 steps the program the fellowship and all spiritual terms especially you god so that i may have an open mind and a new experience with all these things please help me see the truth amen amen joe you want to jump into a quick tf of what we covered last week back up to part in more about alcoholism that's right the chapter on relapse and also a chapter on untreated alcoholism wow was that running rampant in Alcoholics Anonymous today a bunch of people are running around untreated thinking that they have treatment they've been treated for it by the way meetings do not treat alcoholism they get you connected to the sponsor who will hopefully connect you into the book that will get you disconnected to God you know it reminds We just had a grapevine just last month came up with the cover of all things that's basically meeting makers make it. My experience is if all you're doing is going to meetings, you will drink. It's a matter of rolling the dice. And it's sort of sad that one of our main voices of recovery is spreading disinformation. Meeting makers drink. Meeting makers relapse. meeting makers if all you're doing is going to meetings will eventually the mind will come back and they will pick up so much more i i share in your experience as well and in your passion about that message because um innocently and naively coming into the fellowships of alcoholics anonymous i i was delivered that very message among many other slogans and i would always in in good faith attempt those things um and wind up on a bar stool quicker than ever um it's certainly not the message that we just got from there is a solution uh the chapter that preceded this one more about alcoholism and ironically it's going to reinforce what it doesn't do when in the chapter we're in right now it's gonna take that meaty makers make it and make it look do those people even know what they're doing up there anymore it's actually going to demonstrate why meeting makers don't make it and why an approach of something like easy does it or making 90 and 90 will be absolutely unusable for the alcoholic who who is on a collision course with relapse without a spiritual experience you know this is a very serious matter alcoholism it's about malady of fatality in this attempt of that publication to try and cutify recovery you know i just saw another one you had something about the uh um the doorknob as a as an option for god and let's come on let's be serious this is a this is a disease and it doesn't need to be made cute absolutely not so let's let's get away from the cuteness and into some real solution you know i guess it may sell a lot of copies to have a cute cover but you know we're about recovery and solution here so what did we cover last week up to this point matter of fact why don't you just jump into the whole more about alcoholism more about alcoholism, most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. This is how the chapter kind of sets us up for our obsession of the mind and this this absolute attachment that we have that we are not actually alcoholic and we can drink like other people we uh experience self-delusion illusions obsessions that uh convince us that we're not really living in reality and but the sad part is we don't even know it you know before this book came out there was no you know there was there was an excuse for not knowing this stuff before you come to a meeting of alcoholics anonymous there's an excuse for not knowing this stuff but if you have a sponsor who's responsible enough to get you into the book you got some information here that allows you to to come up with some decisions based on fact and the facts that we looked at were the definition of what alcoholism actually is you mentioned a malady of fatality the threefold disease phenomenon of craving spiritual malady an obsession of the mind we were looking last week at people making an informed decision as to whether they are one of us and that informed decision was made in the presence of an awakened mind and in the absence of god and we were looking at sponsors recovered alcoholics doing all that they could to help these guys make that decision and then instruct them in how to proceed and it's an awakened spirit that helps us stay sober the mind gets us in a position where we become willing to work on the spiritual aspects of our life, which have fallen into chaos. And you know, it's not like we're adding anything to our spiritual life. We're just taking away all the stuff that's been keeping us disconnected from God. And that's why meditation is so crucial before going into a study. What can God help us escape this thinking mind? An elementary meditation. You don't have to be a Buddhist monk to be able to meditate. You You don't have to be a spiritual guru to be able to pray to God. It's just like very basic, two to three minutes in the beginning. Get that relationship started and a conversation of God, you know, just to know, hey, God, it's me, Mike Chase. You know, I really could use some help today and staying sober today, please. And it's going to develop into something much more richer as we go. But just to get started, that's all we need. And the chapter went on to say, for those who are unable to drink moderately, for example, alcoholics, the question is how to stop altogether. And we looked at the man of 30 last week who was doing a fair bit of spree drinking, and this guy was very determined to succeed in business, but he saw that as soon as he took one drink, he had no control whatever. And at the stage that he was at, at that time, he was able to stop for a long period of time. He remained bone dry up to the point of his retirement. So he had the allergic going on. Yes. The spirituality was not really coming into play. But what really wasn't coming into place was the mental obsession. It had not yet taken over in that aspect. And that is why he was able to avoid going back to alcohol over that period of time while he was working on his career. However, probably was on a good spree of occupational spree. I bet there were a number of sprees going on there. But then we see this man of 30 much later on in life pick back up, succumb to desire again with his faithful carpet slippers and a bottle at hand. and within four years the buggeroo was dead that's right buggeroos classic so i love this part let's just jump right to here for those who are unable to drink moderately the question is how to stop altogether green quotations say this one joe i love it we are assuming of course that the reader desires to stop if they don't move on whether such a person can quit on a non-spiritual basis depends to the extent which has already lost the power to choose whether he or she will drink or not can you stay stopped just by going to meetings can you say stop to just by having fellowship can you stay stop by these non spiritual things if the answer is yes then by definition you're a hard drinker or a problem drinker in other words a non-alcoholic so that's why we've got all those pamphlets is for the problem drinkers and heavy drinkers that's right and the big book is for the real mccoys that still come occasionally right many of us felt we had plenty of character there was a tremendous urge to cease forever we found it impossible this is the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it the utter inability to leave it alone no matter how great the necessity or wish in other words being done is not enough because alcoholics typically have this habit of becoming undone so oh you've got that window of willingness absolutely and the quicker you you drag it out by well i want you to read the doctor's opinion every day for 30 days and after 30 days if you've been successful then we'll possibly talk about doing some step work dude the window's gonna close and the kid's gone and you're gonna say something like he wasn't willing or perhaps he wasn'T given treatment for alcoholism and consequences which um we put too much emphasis on especially in speaker meetings where the war stories are detailed consequences give us this sense of like i've been through enough but again if you're staying sober on what happened to you in the past or what could happen to you in the future again that's a non-spiritual basis personally my bottom was not realizing that i was done it was a realization that i'll never be done so let's get into some this part where we're just going to talk to our friend jim i want to read this last green part so we shall describe some of the mental states that precede a relapse into drinking for obviously this is the crux of the problem i.e if i do not pick up i will never trigger the phenomenon on a craving and i will not become uncontrollable drinking but here's the crux how do i not not do that what sort of thinking dominates an alcoholic who repeats time after time the desperate experiment of the first drink that is what a relapse is that mental obsession that well maybe if i tweak it a little bit this time if i if i mix you know a little stronger it's like this insane opportunity hopefully but it never changes friends who have reasoned with him after a spree have been brought to the point of divorce or bankruptcy They are mystified when he walks directly into the saloon. Why does he do it? What is he thinking? That's the Relap box. So we've got the second story that we are going to go into tonight, and we're going to learn about Jim. And once again, I love how Bill writes. Listen how he builds him up as this wonderful person and then just chops his legs out from underneath him. Absolutely. Which is what alcoholism is, come to think of it. Wow. How poetic. Our first example is a friend we shall call Jim. He's a man who has a charming wife and family. He inherited a lucrative automobile agency. He had a commendable war record. He was a good salesman. Everybody likes him. He is an intelligent man, normal so far as we can see, except for a nervous disposition. And we're going to parallel that nervous disposition as evidence of that spiritual malady that we suffer from. Now, having a spiritual malady, does that qualify you as an alcoholic? Not necessarily. It's part of the factor, right? It's, it's partof the factor. He did no drinking until he was 35. Here, now, now we're going to find out, so who shows up on the date, right ? In a few years, he became so violent when intoxicated that he had to be committed. On leaving the asylum, he came into contact with us. Now, there's going to be some real important stuff that we're gonna cover here. pay attention, green underlined. We told him what we knew of alcoholism and the answer we had found. That was the initial, our version of a 12-step call. They gave him the steps one, two, three, the problem, the solution, and what he needs to do. What we knew about alcoholism, in other words, the definition of the problem. The answer we have found, spiritual terms and God. He made a beginning which we're going to parallel with the third step. His family was reassembled And he began to work as a salesman for the business he lost through drinking. Which, of course, is going to come back and be resentment a little bit later on. All went well for a while. This is the key. But he failed to enlarge his spiritual life. Green underlined. Steps 4 through 12. But he failing to enlarged his spiritual lives. Which is time for relapse. To his consternation, he found himself drunk half a dozen times in rapid succession. So get this, we met the guy, we did some work with him, we got him, and he failed to continue with the steps four through nine, so he was relapsing. Fear was keeping him sober for a few days, knowledge and all this stuff, but eventually that he did not enlarge his spiritual experience relation with God, he did drink again. On each of these occasions, we worked with him reviewing carefully what had happened. Did you get a count there, Joe? Six relapses and they still were working with him. Six times. These guys didn't give up today or those days. Today it's a little bit more green. He agreed he was a real alcoholic, which meant he had a malady of fatality. He was incapable of controlling his drinking. He'd made a great first step. He just was for some reason not given in to the rest of the program. He knew he faced another trip to the asylum if he kept on. Moreover, he would lose his family for whom he had a deep affection. So we sicked fear on him. Fear will keep him sober. Well, yet he got drunk again. Number seven. Seven times in rapid succession since we met him. Keep that in mind. We asked him to tell us exactly how it happened. This is his story. Green underlined. I came to work on Tuesday. Now, you notice he says Tuesday, which implies I would say that he didn't show up on Monday. Otherwise, he just would have said, I showed up to work. Exactly. I showed him to work, so he missed a day. You know how we are. By the way, he used to own this company, so he probably still thinks he can get away with a lot. I remember I felt irritated. That's resentment time. That I had to be a salesman for a concern I once owned. Which he lost because he was drunk and incapable and lost it. I had a few words with the boss, but nothing serious. Minimizing, rationalizing, delusioning. It's like Jim... Where were you on Monday? Well, I had some stuff. It's Like, Jim, you work for me now. I can just see him. He's starting to seethe. We talk about that emotional thermometer. Jim is not in a happy-go-lucky mood. And here's our classic temper tantrum. Then I decided to drive into the country and see one of my prospects for a car. Let's just randomly drive off into the country or go possibly chat with somebody who possibly might want to. I don't know about you, but as a car salesman, I usually stay on the lot because that's where most of the business is. Meanwhile, this resentment is brooding and replaying itself time and time again. On the way, I felt hungry, so I stopped at a roadside place where they have a bar. Isn't that like a bar? That's a bar, because they didn't have Hooters back then, did they? Not at all. They didn't have, what's another one? Some of those other, Bennegan's or Friday's. Well, that's a bar that serves deep fried food. But basically, yeah, I pulled into a bar. Green underline. I had no intention of drinking. I just thought I would get a sandwich. I also had the notion that I might find a, get a load of this line. I also Had a notion that i might find A customer for a car in this place which Was familiar for I have been going there for years. So let's think years. He lost his company because he's a drunk. He's hanging out in bars. He's been going to this place for years. He's probably quite familiar with the bar staff, probably has a good relationship with these folks, you know? Sounds like his bar. His watering hole. His watering hall, perhaps. And I don't think that's a stretch. I had eaten there many times during the months I was sober. Excuse me? Wait a minute, wait a minute. The months I Was Sober. Let's go back a page here. But he failed to enlarge his spiritual life, right? To his consternation, he found himself drunk a half dozen times in rapid succession. So those quote-unquote months I was sober are actually quote-months I was relapsing, months I Was Drinking. Here we are, the same repeating insanity is going to be different this time. But he sets himself up with a little bit of a different operation this time, so what does he do? I sat down at a table and ordered a sandwich and a glass of milk. So, Joe, this guy's been going to this bar for apparently for years, right? Everybody knows him. Everybody knows he lost his business because he's a drunk, right. So he goes to his normal watering hole. So instead of sitting at the bar where everybody's going to go, oh, there's Jim getting drunk again. I'll just sit at a tabletop. Completely different. Different table. And he's probably watching the door, right, just in case somebody comes in. You know how we are. His brain is working in the background Saying I will find a reason to drink But his conscious is saying Not going to drink Still no thought of drinking I ordered another sandwich And decided to have another glass of milk Okay he's waiting for something Something's going to happen Two sandwiches and two glasses And I can see it right now His waitress Well Jim what are you up to today Would you like to have yourself a drinky-po Oh no I can't be drinking today you know i can't drink anymore and she said well perhaps i can sneak you one wink wink nope i'm not drink matter of fact maybe you could like put it in the oh well jim what a great idea you know i can see that and he's just like because i know when i was in that because where's the accent coming from when i Was in positions like that but when i went to the places where i regularly drank i had my team that was helping me you know was at dinner with my parents one night at Bistro Las Olas, and my parents didn't know I was drinking. So my bartender snuck me – I ordered a beverage, just a soda. And my buddy bartender put booze in it and said it to me with a wink. It's like, here you go. It's, like, they just – and it's not intentional mean. No. But he was – he thought he couldn't drink. But also the insane idea that, you know, I'm just in a bar. I'm having my second sandwich and my second glass of milk, you knows, and everything's going fine, but what happens? And let's get to the italics here because I love how it starts this off with, you know, after two sandwiches and two glasses of milk. Oh my God, I never got this. In an old drinking haunt, suddenly. Okay, suddenly the thought, suddenly if I, hello. Suddenly the thought crossed my mind that if I were to put an ounce of whiskey in my milk, it couldn't hurt me on a full stomach. Okay, we're talking three glasses of milky. Now, I'm not going to break tradition here, but didn't you buy somebody once a glass of milk with a shot in it? I did, in fact. How did that go over? It went horrendously bad. That must have been disgusting. Oh, God. Suddenly the thought crossed my mind that if I was to put an ounce of whiskey in my milk, it couldn't hurt me on a full stomach. Insanity. Off to the side, I got first lie. Well, no, actually the first lie is I'm going to go to the bar and I'm nicht going to drink. But the lies just keep building upon each other and building upon each other. And the insidious insanity of that first drink, that's a sentence with a lot of words in it, and it's all highlighted, but the specific lie that he told himself, if you lift out ounce of whiskey, couldn't hurt me. Thereby, the allergy was set off. I ordered a whiskey and poured it in my milk. I like this. You cannot relate to this. I vaguely sensed I wasn't being any too smart, but felt reassured. I was taking the whiskey on a full stomach well we know today that that doesn't count whether you mix it with you know meatloaf or filet mignon liquor is liquor whether it's in a drink or it's mixed in your wine sauce liquor is liquid his phenomenon craving got triggered it's written somewhere if these thoughts do occur they are hazy and readily supplanted with the old threadbare idea that this times we shall handle ourselves like other men yeah not going to happen but felt reassured as i was taking the whiskey on a full stomach so the first top the part that the top part of the book is resentment time where he's dealing with the boss right and it's like i gotta get out he has his little temper tantrum wham wham he he ends up in a slippery place great and he justifies it with a delusion that i've been coming here for six months with no problem or however long it's been in my sober time but we go back and we actually look at the honest history he hasn't been sober he's been relapsing and relapsed and relapse him because that's what untreated alcoholics do let's not put joe down or jim down he was just untreated untreated alcoholic is chapter on relapse the word let's relate to this thing so the allergy has been triggered boom the experiment went so well that i ordered another whiskey and poured it into more milk What was the experiment? The experiment. That he won't get caught. Or that it'll be different by some basis. Somebody walks in and there he is with a sandwich and a glass of milk. Hey, you guys, I'm here with milk and sandwich. I'm fine. Better get me another sandwich, Mary. I'm just going to sit here a while. He had eight sandwiches that day. I don't know. The experiment went so... This is the allergic reaction kicking in and taking over. The experiment Went so well, I ordered another whiskey and poured it into more milk. That didn't seem to bother me, so I tried another. Wow, what has fully kicked in now? The phenomenon of craving. Phenomenon of craving is kicking in. This guy's out on the town. Thus started one more journey to the asylum for Jim. Insanity rules. Here was the threat of commitment, the loss of family and position, to say nothing of that intense mental and physical suffering which drinking always caused him. So us sticking fear on people in meetings, He's threatening, just scaring people into sobriety, you know, into fear. Does nothing work? Nothing. Thank you. Yellow underline. He had much knowledge, knowledge about himself as an alcoholic. Yet all reasons for not drinking were easily pushed aside in favor of the foolish idea that he could take whiskey if only he mixed it with milk. Knowledge with God and a program of action is acceptable, awesome recovery. Knowledge without God, not going to do you. Ineffective. So we did yellow and underline that. He had much knowledge about himself as an alcoholic, yet all reasons for drinking were easily pushed aside in favor for the foolish idea that he could take whiskey if only he mixed it with milk. Of course, milk is that wholesome old American beverage, you know? Yeah, calcium. So, of course, what was responsible for this relapse? The mind. Absolutely. This is the mind, and this next paragraph we've got highlighted in box. It's called the mind box. Joe, would you take it away? Whatever the precise definition of the word may be, we call this plain insanity. Insanity to the extreme that we have a possibility of fatality, and we should not do it, i.e., Bob the caveman. He's up on the cliff. He sees a little bunny or a sheep running 50 feet below. He knows for some instinctive reason not to jump off the cliff. Jim knows by some instinct of reason, I should not drink because I'm going to lose my house. I'm gonna lose my job. I'm Gonna lose my life. I'll end up in the asylum again. But he picks up again. That is insanity. It's not the stuff we do on the runs. It's Not the crazy stuff. I was once told if I gave my aunt Betty as much to who that I did, she'd be doing crazier stuff than me. insanity is the thought that precedes the realization i should not drink and it's like well mix it with milk so we see that the spiritual malady and we looked extensively at the resentment and everything leading up to this the spiritual melody overpowered the truth jim believed a lie he made a decision based on a lie and he activated the phenomenon of craving now in this box that we're on right here we've got another definition that we're going to look at insanity we hear multiple definitions of insanity in the rooms but when the big book of alcoholics anonymous mentions insanity it's specifically talking about that thought that precedes the first drink whatever obsessive lie it is that we tell ourselves that makes it okay for us to put the very substance which is killing us back into our system in light of all the past experiences and all the knowledge and all we've gained that's insanity whatever the precise definition of the word may be, we call this plain insanity. How can such a lack of proportion of the ability to think straight can be called anything else? Off the side I've got written, only remember the good, not the bad. Once again, remember what it does for us, not what it Does to us. You may think this an extreme case. To us, it is not far-fetched, for this kind of thinking has been characteristic of every single one of us. We have sometimes reflected more than Jim did upon the consequences. Yellow underlined. But there was always the curious mental phenomenon that parallel with our sound reasoning, there inevitably ran some insanely trivial excuse for taking the first drink. Green underlined, our sound reasoning failed to hold us in check the insane idea won out next day we would ask ourselves in all earnestness and sincerity how it could have happened absolutely everything says do not do not and it's like oh okay i will and i used to think that it was a changing of my mind that i just made a decision based on some random new development i did not know that it It was an insane inability to be making rational decisions. Joe's looking in the back of the book. He's going to pull something up. What is that? Yeah, I was reminded of page 24. Ooh, yeah. By the way, page 24, let's not – let's be honest. If somebody comes new to the meetings and they don't have any relation with God and they're just fresh off a run, you're not going to scare them sober. You're not gonna give them – you need to get that person connected to God ASAP because why doesn't that, don't drink and go to meetings. Mike Chase, if you don't want to drink, you don' t have to anymore. You' ve got the magic white chip or hey, if you feel like drinking, give me a call. All wonderfully kind, considerate misinformation probably from a non-alcoholic or somebody who's been sober for so long they forgot what it's like to be untreated. But let's look at our fact box. The fact is that most alcoholics for reasons yet obscure have lost the power of choice in drink lost it's gone our so-called willpower becomes practically non-existent we are unable at certain times to bring into consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago green we are without defense against the first drink That is the classic definition of untreated alcoholism. No human power can relieve you of your alcoholism, a good sponsor in the book of Alcoholics Anonymous and the steps will get you connected to God and then you will be recovered. So back to page 37. Thank you. I always forget what page we're on. Next day, we'd ask ourselves in all earnest and sincerity, how could it happen again? In some circumstances, we have gone out deliberately to get drunk. Now, pay attention here because these words that we're going to discuss here are worthy of being underlined in some discussion. Feeling ourselves justified by nervousness, anger, worry, depression, jealousy or the like. Those are the little sparks that get the emotional disconnection from God going and we just have to reach out and pick up or the alike. But even this type of beginnings, we're obligated to admit that our justification for a spree was insanely sufficient in the light of what always happened. Green underlined, we now see that when we began to drink deliberately instead of casually... I've got those off to the side as the efforts. There was little serious or effective thought during the period of premeditation of what the terrific consequences might be. And we all know what those look like. say well i'll show them uh well yeah just it's drinking at people drinking i love that drinking at people and who it's sort of like that whole thing about resentments if you're pissed you know you're mad at somebody it's like spitting in the wind it comes back in your face drinking at people i'll tell you but the damage that it causes us it's just an insane ability we're insane absolutely there's nothing else to say as a matter of fact here we go our behavior is absurd as incomprehensible respect to the first drink as the individual let's say for a patient passion for jaywalking stop pay attention we're talking 1920s jay walking i live in south fort and we got a lot of people that you know that do not want to walk an extra six or seven feet to the actual crosswalk so when stopped traffic they'll just sort of weave their way through and And, you know, just sort of like not paying attention. We're talking 1920s and imagine the game Frogger, you know, where if anybody see that it's like this massive traffic and the frogs trying to get from one side of the road to the other, jumping from lane to lane between moving vehicles. Matter of fact, if you want to go on the Internet and do a search in Google that says jaywalking of the 1920s, it was a phenomenon. It was like the extreme sport. It was hang gliding. It was insane. People were jumping through fast-moving traffic going from lane to lane imagine on a freeway going from lane to lane during rush hour trying to get it that's what we're talking about we're not talking about that lazy person who just doesn't want to walk an extra 16 feet to the crosswalk there was these guys were getting something out of this you know and this is why i get up and i sort of do this demonstration of what jaywalking really is about i wish we had a video i wish it's so humorous okay now we're gonna jump to the next lane watch out here's a trafficking car it's like you get some adrenaline out of it there's a reason why this guy was jaywalker otherwise you're just like what's this story about bless you there thank you so this is our third story and we're talking about this uh this is a metaphorical story um i thought it was true really no this is not metaphorical analogical but i mean with context and that's why it's important to go through this with uh a sponsor you know jaywalking back in those days was vastly different to what it is today yeah we just think of that lazy person and i do it all the time too you know if it's just Right. He gets a thrill out of skipping in front of fast-moving vehicles. He enjoys himself for a few years in spite of the friendly warnings. Up to this point, you would label him as a foolish chap having queer ideas of fun. Luck then deserts him and he's slightly injured several times in succession. You would expect, if you were normal, to cut it out. Presently, he has hit again, and this time he has a fractured skull. Within a week after leaving the hospital, a fast-moving trolley car breaks his arm. He tells you he decided to stop jaywalking for good. But in a few weeks, he breaks both legs. Hmm. Sounds like I see that metaphoric coming through here a little bit. Absolutely. On through the years, his conduct continues, accompanied by a continual promise to be careful or to keep off the streets altogether. Finally, he can no longer work. His wife gets a divorce and he's held up to ridicule. He tries every known means to get his jaywalking idea out of his head. He shuts himself up in an asylum, hoping to mend his ways. But the day comes he races out in front of a fire engine, which breaks his back. Such a man would be crazy, wouldn't he? Wow. Eerily similar to my recollection of the past. Joe, I remember you when you were in your relapse mode. You were definitely... This is Joe. As a matter of fact, Joe used to go blackouts, and he passed out in the middle of fast-moving traffic. Commercial Boulevard, I heard about that one. Sadly, yes. Joe is alive here today because God wants him here today. It's not by accident. If you think our illustration is too ridiculous, but is it? We, who have been through the ringer, have to admit if you substitute alcoholism for jaywalking, the illustration would fit us exactly. Exactly. Green and underlined. However intelligent we may have been in other respects where alcohol has been involved, we have been strangely insane. It's strong language, but isn't it true? However intelligent, we may haven't other respects were alcohol was been involved. We were strangely insane is strong language. But isn't that true? Absolutely. so uh up two paragraphs or just above let's look at where it says accompanied by his continual promises to be careful which would be i'm still going to jaywalk but i'm just going to do it less or i'm going to drink but not as much moderate or to keep off the streets altogether i'm gonna stop this for good if i was getting off work and you were to hook me up to a lie detector machine and put some drug, you know, some truth-telling drugs in me and say, Mike Chase, how much do you plan to drink tonight? I would say, I'm going to Bistro Las Olas. I'm having two Knob Creeks. I'm gonna have myself a filet mignon, maybe go to the bathroom and have a bumper or two, have some conversation and be in bed and sleeping by 945. You'd pass the test. Honestly, honestly, honestly. That was the insanity of it. It never happened. It was always like three or four in the morning and oh yeah, I love being sober. Absolutely, I agree. God has made this so amazing. And, you know, without God, I would not be here today. Likewise. Back to the reading. Some of you are thinking, yes, what you tell us is true, but it doesn't fully apply. Oh, I love those guys. They just come into the rooms and they're not... Wait a minute. Wait a moment. I'm not really ready for this yet. So let's hopefully get some information. So if they are only hit with like slogans and bumper stickers and war stories, they're going to think they're alcoholic, right? Absolutely. We admit we have gotten some of these symptoms, but we've not gone extreme as you fellows did, nor are we likely to. For we understand ourselves so well after what you have told us such things could not happen again. We have not lost everything in life through drinking and certainly do not intend to. Thanks for the information, you losers. Right? These guys come into Alcoholics Anonymous after one or two runs and a couple of things, And they look at us, and they're just ready for some – this little bounce in and bounce out type thing. And they just look at you like, loser, that was – this is an – and then they come – I love that part. And they grinned. Absolutely. That's coming up, isn't it? I love those lines. Again, in highlighting – And green. That may be true of certain non-alcoholic people. What's a non-alkoholic? A non-alcoholic can be anyone from the spectrum of a moderate drinker who can give up liquor entirely if they have a good reason for it. In other words, somebody who says to themselves, am I going to drink tonight? No, and it's not a problem. It's not even a second thought. Here we have a certain type of hard drinker. He may have had the habit badly enough to gradually impair him physically and mentally. I like this one. It may cause him to die a few years before his time. Really. If a sufficiently strong reason, ill health, falling in love, change of environment, or the warnings of a doctor become operative, this man can also stop or moderate. Although he may find it difficult and troublesome and may end up in detoxes, rehabs, or your favorite home group. So if that man was a jaywalker, he could be careful or keep off the streets altogether? He would be able to. After enough, with enough reason, he would. However, as a real alcoholic, mm-mm. Not going to happen. Green again, start up at the top of that paragraph. That may be true of certain non-alcoholic people who, though drinking foolishly and heavily at the present time... Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Non-alabolic people drink foolishly? Foolishly and heavenly? Yeah, I have a lot of friends that looked like me and acted like me, and then with reasons that they had to, they got their doo-doo together and... These non-alcoholic people are able to stop or moderate because their brains and bodies have not been damaged as ours were. Let's examine that. Our bodies, i.e., the phenomenon of craving, the allergic reaction that's triggered by our inability to metabolize alcohol, and we've got that whatever, the ether stuff floating around inside us that triggers us. That's the body where the pancreas and liver are unable to produce qualities or quantities to process that stuff. But the actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly an exception, will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge. So, IOP, right? They give you a little bell curve. They tell you what it is to be alcoholic and they tell you to go to meetings. And guess what? That's not treatment of alcoholism, is it? Absolutely not. So, you drink. And what do they do to you? they kick you out getting kicked out of a recovery program because you're an untreated drug addict or alcoholic come on absolutely seriously i was oh i just used to what just may as well put a gun in their head but he needs it i used to argue with these therapists like why'd you kick him out well he got to drink he's like duh untreated well that's our rules and the term self-knowledge brings us back to our old friend roland hazard studying with carl young for an entire year in europe he was learning about what insanity actually is and how it plays out and probably did some studies about how it scientifically is explained and he at the end of it knew that he was insane and he walked forward in in good faith saying because i know i'm insane i've got the solution surely this is the answer self-knowledge but of course and he found out knowing that you're insane doesn't stop you from being insane absolutely drink would in his system within no time at all knowing you're in the ocean getting wet doesn't stopped you from getting wet there but the actual or potential alcoholic with hardly an exception will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge so when you come off the streets and you come into Alcoholics Anonymous and you're able to not drink by just not going to meetings you've got some god grace and you're going to lose that if you don't kick in there and start doing some work getting reconnected to god everybody gets a little bit of grace time from god you know god can take us take a guy who's completely whacked out and boom slam him with sobriety give him some get him on a road to recovery but if we start building up you know excuses and not get a real treatment of alcoholism we will pick up again this is the point we would you want to say something yeah absolutely this next sentence that you were just reading actually we know contextually the bill doesn't like to repeat words and what he does here is repeat a word within an inch of itself so he's really breaking his own rules to bring forward something important here i love big book bill he was on fire back then this is a point we wish to emphasize and re-emphasize to smash home green underline upon our alcoholic readers as it has been revealed to us out of bitter experience. Let us look at another illustration. We're going to save Fred till our next session. Boy, I love Fred. Fred's a legend. I just love him. The guy's amazing. Once again, we're coming up on 50 minutes and that's what we like to keep. We figure you guys get butts get sore and time to get on with some life. So we've really had an enjoyable time here. hopefully we've been able to bring you some information on what it will not help get you sober god will get you sober god will keep you sober and god will give you a life beyond your wildest dreams please if you're in AA jail track down somebody who will take the time to read the book with you one-on-one experience the great of god coming through another one get god from a recovered alcoholic there's so much more to being in the member of Alcoholics Anonymous, than just not drinking. I was there. It's miserable. Find God to another alcoholic and join us. This is an excerpt from The Doctor's Nightmare. Speaking of God. Which we have talked about a lot. By the way, Dr. Bob, he's definitely our spiritual co-founder. This was the guy who was all about God in all aspects about God. He was the kind of person who was the most important person in our lives. This was a guy who died pushing God onto people. This guy was amazing. He was all above God. And in the process, he managed to work with over 5,000 alcoholics through the course of his sobriety. Absolutely. And he died happy, sober. One alcoholic working with another will keep you happy, joyous and free. Dr. Bob writes, if you think you are an atheist, an agnostic, a skeptic or have any form of intellectual pride which keeps you from accepting what is in this book, I feel sorry for you. If you still think you are strong enough to beat the game alone, that is your affair. But if you really and truly want to quit drinking liquor for good and all and sincerely feel that you must have some help, we know that we have an answer for you. It never fails if you go about it with one half the zeal you have been in the habit of showing when you are getting another drink. Your Heavenly Father will never let you down. Please join us next week as we continue to study the big book. And remember to download the highlighted pages from tonight's session found at mikechase.org, found under the podcast link. We always enjoy hearing feedback from you guys and gals, so don't be shy about dropping us a line. There should be a link to send us an email, as it's a privilege to meet other alcoholics who are also on fire about God and on fire with God. And we're going to close out in our traditional way with the fog light prayer. Which is our family prayer. as we pray in our family. Are you ready, Joe? I'm set. Let's take a moment to just get a little bit of God connect. You never get enough God. We're going to take about 30 seconds and then we'll be right back with this final prayer. Just join us in some silence. God, let your love shine through me like a fog light for those who are lost, sick and dying can find your love through me. Amen. Hope to see you guys next week. God bless you and Godspeed.