The Difference Between Watching AA Happen and Making It Happen – Harold L.

About This Speaker Tape

Georgia, winter. Harold L. wakes up covered in blood, sliced deep in the arm and stabbed in the side, with no memory of how it happened. He sits on the porch of a trailer in the "Island of Misfit Rednecks," feeling the first real weight of remorse. Then "John Barleycorn" whispers in his ear, suggesting a quart of beer and a pack of smokes to numb the fear. The noise of the popping top kills the desire to change.

A country boy from Missouri, Harold spent years as a "get-high freak," drifting from boy's homes to a high-speed chase that ended in a fatal wreck. He lived as a facade, even changing his name to hide from himself. It took a fifth DWI and a jail cell for him to drop to his knees in his underwear and surrender to a Higher Power. He moved from watching AA happen to making it happen, trading a pea-green Plymouth Duster and a life of wreckage for a passion for corrections work.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Opening jokes and the 'redneck parable' about Daryl and Bubba.
• 13:45 Discussion of childhood trauma and being raised by a single mother who found her own Higher Power.
• 21:10 The 'dark side' of fear and self-pity; memories of playing church with potato chips.
• 30:40 The 'Island of Misfit Rednecks' in Georgia and waking up covered in blood from a mysterious stabbing.
• 36:15 The trauma of witnessing a fatal high-speed car crash and the subsequent 5th DWI.
• 41:20 Prayer in the county jail and the introduction of Gary, the sponsor in the Pea Green Plymouth Duster.
• 52:10 The danger of 'AA romance' and the pain of losing paternity rights in court.
• 58:40 Working the Step 4 inventory with Roy and the realization that he attracted his own wreckage.
• 1:05:15 The 'spiritual birthmark' of fingerprints and the importance of service in corrections.
• 1:12:00 The Step 9 amends process and the emotional reunion with Uncle Bob.