Into Action and the Decision to Stop Procrastinating – John A.

About This Speaker Tape

1983, Stockton. A man in Swedish flannel pajamas runs down the street like a bat out of hell, screaming at his wife’s car because he’s too drunk to pass her Sunday morning inspection. John A. describes a life of high-functioning wreckage: owning a door factory while drinking twenty-two drinks in an hour, and the delusion that he was a "perfect gentleman" because he never raised his voice in the bar

. He recounts the grit of the bottom—stealing a pint of liquor from a Thriftymart, waking up to a twenty-three-foot white snake hissing in his bedroom, and the humiliation of wetting the bed. He views his recovery not as a success story, but as a collection of failures put into usefulness.

He credits his Higher Power for the panic that finally drove him to a flaky club in Anaheim with a brown paper bag over the lightbulb, where one drunk talking to another finally broke the obsession.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 John A. opens by discussing the tragedy of his father and brothers' lack of a chance at recovery.
• 12:15 Laughter: John describes the absurdity of his 'professional' drinking habits and the praise he received from bartenders.
• 22:30 John recounts the humiliation of wetting the bed and the 'break' he got when his daughter took the blame.
• 28:10 John describes a vivid hallucination of a twenty-three-foot white snake with three black eyes.
• 35:45 John discusses the 'Alcatraz' bond shared between alcoholics and the beauty of the fellowship.
• 42:10 John explains the importance of the Step 4 inventory and the danger of resentments.
• 48:20 John details the childhood trauma of being drowned by his older brother and the subsequent process of forgiveness.
• 55:10 John reflects on the 'miracle' of the program and the importance of the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions.