The Difference Between Doing Wrong and Doing Harm — Pat R.

About This Speaker Tape

Pat R. shares a raw and detailed account of recovery, focusing heavily on the necessity of the 12 Steps and the process of making amends. He describes the transition from a state of total wreckage—including the loss of custody of his son, financial ruin, and legal troubles—to a life of spiritual stability. Pat emphasizes that while there are no requirements for membership, there is a requirement for a spiritual awakening, which begins with the total admission of defeat.

A significant portion of the talk is dedicated to the nuances of Step 9. Pat discusses the difference between direct and indirect amends, sharing how he paid back stolen money through charitable acts and handled debts with the IRS. He reflects on the long road to reconstruction, specifically the 27 years it took to rebuild a relationship with his eldest son and the emotional weight of making peace with his mother before her passing.

Pat concludes by reflecting on the early days of his sobriety, the realization that he suffered from an illness rather than insanity, and the importance of surrounding oneself with the right people. He encourages newcomers to seek out those who are armed with the facts of the Big Book and to commit to the process of daily spiritual growth to maintain their freedom.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Opening gratitude for the 12 Steps and the concept of the recovery economy
• 4:22 Discussing the necessity of admitting defeat and the loss of his son and career
• 7:35 Sharing the experience of taking the fifth step to a priest due to lack of trust in the rooms
• 10:15 Analysis of Steps 6 and 7 as the inability to manage character defects without a Higher Power
• 14:30 Detailed discussion on financial amends, the IRS, and indirect amends for shoplifting
• 18:20 Story about losing 400 dollars and the lesson learned about how others feel when stolen from
• 22:10 Discussing the importance of facing legal consequences and the story of Sarah's leap of faith
• 26:50 Reflecting on the death of his mother and the final request for him to get along with his sister
• 29:30 The 27-year journey of reconstruction with his eldest son
• 35:10 Recalling the feeling of being a tormented child and the initial allure of alcohol