Steps 4 and 7 – Myers R. – FOTS Toronto – 2020

About This Speaker Tape

Myers cuts through the noise of 'creative' inventory methods, arguing that the Fourth Step is a fact-finding mission, not a memoir. He dismantles the habit of justifying bad behavior—the 'bad milk' in the cooler—and warns against the trap of permanent victimhood, citing an 86-year-old man who clung to childhood trauma for eight decades. Myers makes a case for the 'fourth column' as the only place where the stage character dies and the truth emerges.

He pushes for a rigorous, fast-paced approach to the steps, insisting that giving a sponsee six months to write an inventory is just an invitation to procrastinate and sanitize the wreckage. He closes by reflecting on his own blindness regarding his mother, admitting he spent twenty years judging her for not being 'June C.' before the inventory finally cleared the air.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Myers opens with gratitude for the Zoom community and reflections on the kindness of the participants.
• 4:15 Laughter: Myers recalls the 'painfully shy' version of himself and the impact of early cassette tapes.
• 8:30 Discussion of Step 3 and the transition into 'vigorous action' and the personal house cleaning.
• 13:45 The 'bad milk' metaphor: Myers explains why the details of the story often serve as a justification for bad behavior.
• 21:10 Myers discusses the 'stage character' and the necessity of the fourth column for honesty.
• 26:30 A warning on victimhood: Myers shares a story about an 86-year-old man carrying a burden for 80 years.
• 32:15 Myers reflects on his relationship with his mother and the 'June Cleaver' expectation.
• 38:40 The 'sick man prayer' and the struggle to forgive those who have caused deep harm.
• 45:10 Sponsorship: Myers explains his '10-day rule' for completing the inventory to avoid procrastination.
• 52:00 Discussion of Steps 6 and 7 and the willingness to let a Higher Power remove defects.
• 56:45 Laughter: Myers discusses the 'ferocity' and F-bombs of his brother Chris's early talks.