(268 votes)
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Exactly what I needed today. Thanks!
This person decides, in 2018, to make a joke, right at the beginning of his talk, with a joke about “latent” homosexuality. Wow! Sooo funny. I stopped listening right after that. AA, known as a bastion of white male privilege, is in full- view here.
Hope you get drunk
Love this stuff! I try to learn how to be authentic in my recovery and application of the twelve steps – regardless of the approval or lack thereof I receive from others. My need for their approval is still present but I challenge myself by sticking to my truths regardless – and attempting to let go of rebellious and self-centred elements within myself. My self-centred traits arise in my need for either perfect approval and acceptance from others, or total rebellion and rejection of them – leading to me feeling alone – and this sort of behaviour was a large part of my drinking.
This idea Tom mentions of unconditional love for self and others is a way I believe I can open myself up to having a broader view of life that allows every person to be exactly what they are right now, and therefore also allowing myself to be exactly what I am right now.
Any judgement I carry about others, including my opinion of their sobriety – keeps me separate from my higher power and therefore higher self.
Not judging them allows me to be present, and sharing authentically regardless of my inner need for their approval allows me to grow my self-respect.
This has been hard for me for years but finally, especially after hearing the truths I perceive I hear in Tom’s talk here, I am getting better at accepting myself regardless of the opinions of others – while remaining open to the possibility that they may be able to offer me insights into myself.
I grew up in a family where compliance with conformity was rewarded, while speaking up was overtly or covertly punished – this same scenario can play out in AA too – so I’ve had to learn where I fit into this picture – my old way was to either be totally conforning and compliant, regardless of my own inner truths – or to totally rebel in a childish way, rejecting others and when I began drinking I used this rebellion as part of my drinking justification.
It can be hard in life to state one’s truth when it is not totally the same as the truth of others – that’s why I love the concepts of “take what you like and leave the rest” – and “listen for the similarities not the differences”.
Not that I take this as a licence to reject the teachings of AA or anyone in it – it is simply a concept that allows me to leave any particular idea that others express which I find doesn’t resonate in my heart, while not rejecting the person or their recovery message.
This approach allows me to find something from everyone – and as I change I find the messages I am open to also change, but accepting myself as being okay right now, regardless of my closeness to perfection is becoming more and more important to me – because returning to my old ways of expecting perfect love from everyone is likely to lead to a need to drink to alleviate the feelings of rejection I feel when I don’t get that perfect love and approval.
Angellreo@yahoo.com
Thank you so much for your message. I have 25 years of Sobriety but what I thought was content Sobriety isn’t. I lost a young man to alcohol last fall and I have struggled with I should have done more . after listening to this I now know what I have to do to fix me cause I am broken. Thank You ever so much and Take Care
I could listen to this 20 more times and still find it relevant.
So much truth from this speaker. Thank you so much
I listen to this over & over again. It’s a very insightful message.
Rule 62 people!