Why the Spiritual Side Is Better Than Ham – 1959 – Jack B.

Ladies and gentlemen, your next speaker is Jack Bailey, the TV star of Queen for a Day. Jack made this talk in Dallas at our state convention, Texas State Convention, in 1959. He was introduced by Horace Ford. So he has recourse to correct anything that I might say. I wanted to familiarize myself with him, so I had Twyla to go to the library in Austin and get a book called Outstanding TV Personalities. And after getting a list of his different occupations or things in the past that he has done, I told Twyla, I said, well, I can't see how the man ever got sober. If a riot is the spice of life, well man, he's got spice. And he's a writer and he has a new book coming out for those who would like to paint. And I'm going to get one of those because that's something I like to enjoy. It's relaxing and I'm willing to wait for Jack's book. he's been an artist he loves to paint and his home has many of his paintings and he's personally said that any time you're in Hollywood he'd like to show them to you so we'll all be out there he's done a salesman he'd have to be that he's better than me he's got an emcee on the radio I think he was imitated the voice of some animal on Walt Disney's program. He's been a manager for Ralph Bellamy. He's done all the paintings. He was born in Hampton, Iowa. Doesn't say when. But I don't know when his queen for the day started, but I know when it should have started was in 1940 when he married Carolyn. Well, we are grateful to have a man such as Jack to come with us and share some of the hospitality that this group of AAs in Dallas have made possible. I'm thrilled with the opportunity of just saying how much I owe to Esther and some of the ones in the very beginning in May 1944 when they took me into their family of AAs, the Twelve. And it's marvelous to me that this wonderful crowd can come here tonight and we can break bread together and express our gratitude for that because of the spirit and the wonderful, prideful efforts of many that the AAs of Dallas have grown and grown andgrown. and I look forward to a great conference in Houston next year because they're not going to let dollars outdo them, I don't think. There was an old bishop in the Episcopal Church a long time ago called Bishop Ken Fowley and one day he was on a Pullman car taking a trip to the West Coast from New York, I think. And he was a large man, about 6'6 or 7', and he had great difficulty in finding comfort on a Pullman car. And as he retired one night, he put his shoes under the berth there to be shined. And the next day, the porter came toward him when he was by himself and said, Are you a general? And he said, No. Well, are you an admiral? And he says, No, and he went on down the line. Well, he said, Mr. what is you? He said, I'm a bishop. Well, he said I knew you was one of those face guards. I want to present to you a real face guard. We love him for all he's done to help AA maintain its rightful place in our country. Jack Bailey. Here we go. Thank you very much, sir. Queen Esther? I would like also to thank this wonderful committee that has made this long wait possible. I've been hearing about this Texas conference for three months. I left our home last Thursday to be here on time and now that the moment is here I wish to God I'd stayed home I want to thank publicly Al Badger for all those collect calls I want thank Anita for her wonderful speech last night I want to thank all of you for coming tonight this is a festive occasion it's I'm just sorry that one by one you can't get up here and look down at these happy wonderful faces in this joint and you wouldn't believe that in Dallas, Texas on a Saturday night everybody can be this quiet and happy but it's true and it's an inspiration, believe me. Now, I would like to qualify the remarks I'm going to make tonight in just one way. No matter what I say or how I say it, I am in no way making light of Alcoholics Anonymous, what it means, and what it's meant to me. And in case there is any doubt in your minds whether or not I'm one. I am. Is that clear? All right. And I have chosen for my sermon tonight, dear friends, what I like about AA. Now, I could make this speech in one word and just say everything and sit down. But I like a captive audience like this. You paid your money, you ate your food, now you sit there. And I could actually run this thing on into Monday noon. Get on. Anita said, well, I did my stunt. Get up now and shake your head off yourself. Charlie said, oh God, I'm worried about tomorrow. and I've been giving them the one-day-at-a-time bid up here as I've rattled my own teeth. But it's an inspiration to be here and I can't tell you what an honor it is. And this is one of the things I like about AA, such a delightful bunch of ladies, such beautiful ladies, not one would I ever get a call at the 12th Step. Look at her. I never go out on beautiful women calls. I get them dirty old men. If any of you Southern Bells need a little extra help, I'll see you right after the services tonight there. Well, the first thing I liked about AA, and I mean it, and so do you, was that it was not a whole group of social workers or people coming around that was going to pity the poor, sodden, drunken old man in my cage. well it was a bunch of people some place in the east or some place in Ohio or some place who were just like us they couldn't handle it either and they fiddled and fooled and fumbled around for a long time till they found out what worked for them and then they gave that whole bit to me all free so I liked it right off the bat that there was no trick theories no social work nobody going to come and read the knobs on my head and God knows I had them then, a few whips and jingles thrown in, but it was a whole bunch of other people that couldn't handle it. And I liked that right off the bat because I didn't never know what they were talking about and I'm sure they didn't know what I was talking about, so I liked the whole thing right offthebat because nobody knew what they weren't talking about. Except that I knew that the more I talked about something I didn' t know whatI was talking abou and listened to what they were talking about back, I got so confused that I thought I'd leave all pride a while. And I like that. I like it. I like the fact that right off the bat. And I'm still confused. And I think that's what keeps this whole thing going. If they ever get it organized, we'd be dead. Every time you want to find out something at this conference, they ask you to go to three different guys and you can never find anybody. So pretty soon you go ahead and do it yourself. But right off the bat, I liked it about that sickness. And you know, it was great. In our business, the theater, TV, oh my God, and there's a place for your serenity, and radio and all of it. We like to get billing, you know? Top billing. We were always trying to get top billing. And I found out how sick we were, and I learned that at the first of the program, when you first got on it, or any other show business, if you can get third billing, you're getting pretty good billing. And do you know that us drunks have got it? We've got third billing right off the bat because we're as third as sick as we can get, and that's good and thick, and I like it. And it's just wonderful. Well, now there's heart, cancer, and there's us. I was delighted as long as I had to be sick to be just damn near dead as I could get. And you realize what's going on in this room right now? Every one of us is an alcoholic with pretty or dead and we're sitting here laughing like hell about it. And you know what makes us better? We'll never get over it. Sicker than hell, we'll never get well. And I'm tickled to death. You know there's great strides made in the cancer cures as everybody's working on it and it's just coming along fine and they're going to get it yet. They're working on it fine. You get a heart attack, you know, the old doctor comes and says, Oh my God, lay down. Don't lift the book. Don't put that cover back. Let somebody do it. Don't breathe. Shut up. Sit down. Don't smoke. Don' do this. Oh! Don't go to the bathroom. We'll bring it to you. Don't do it, da-da-da, da, da. He can't do anything. He just lay there. And then very soon he visits you and he comes in one day and he says, I'm sorry, that's about all I can do for you. you're bad sick don't ever do anything don't you have any more fun don't get to laughing too hard or else you'll die don't go upstairs don't come downstairs don't do hard work don't chase the neighbor's wife don't say don't don't don't do anything or you'll keel over dead goodbye away he goes they send you a hell of a bill and there you lay and then us really now this wasn't made up by AAs or or luscious or drunks this is from John Hopstein's university and the Yale clinic all the big medical heads you know they figured this out the drunks then you can't trust them they don't know what they're talking about anyway but here's these big double domes they go to school all their life and they find out boy the guys are sick and you know what you have to do you have get the health care out of you and you have to phone somebody it's the third worst disease in the world boy how lucky can we get and you call some old dingy guy or some old gal and they come over and say well don't do what I did don't deal with it don't know what to do as I say just stick around a while see what happens and they go out and slam the door he said what the hell are you saying he knows what he said waiting out in the car for you to come out and look for them. Isn't that great? Well, then who's sorry that they're an alcoholic? I'm tickled to death. I've heard you're dead and I never had more fun in my life. Never started living until I've learned you're dying. You think this thing isn't crazy and mixed up? It's that one. And then we got better billing in the cuckoo department. In the cuckoo department, I said. You think that sanity clause in there isn't something? We get number two billing there. Isn't that great? Just about dead and pertinent, you're nuts. There isn't a whole lot left, is there? and the biggest cause of insanity is social disease starting with S and I'm of the opinion that if the people were more sober they wouldn't have caught that I see that we're faced with an evil group tonight And also the shoe fits. But what a wonderful thing to behold. 1,500 people laughing and scratching, ruining their kidneys on this coffee. Getting the whips and jingles. I shake more on coffee than I did whiskey, I think. I didn't wait long enough for whiskey to get really set in with the shakes. I never did have the shakes, actually. I was odd in more ways than one. I used to have the leeks! He couldn't wear cufflinks for 15 years. Who can chase his sleeve down the hall trying to get those in? So I just quit wearing sleeves, that was simple. So many little things you can do now that you're sober and pretty much dead and nuts. Cufflinks. You know an amazing thing happened to me when I sobered up for, well it took a couple of days, but I can clean my teeth in the morning, which is a wonderful thing. I used to make the morning art just like all of you. We had the faucet here and the chopper there. Yeah! Every morning. Those old drops with the false teeth are lucky. When they pull them out, put them back in. There it is. That's true. Can I tell you about that insanity clause, you think we're not nuts? I'll expose a little thing. You know, you're supposed to get up at these meetings and say what you were like, what you're going to be like, and what you hope to do, and how far you're gonna go, and all out of that. I'm not gonna tell you what I was like. You know that's none of your business. Well, how can I tell you? I don't remember. And the reports are still coming in. And if half of that's true, I'm going to make a note of it and sell it to Confidential. I was a plenty kid then. You know, they need some true material there. But I got a right to be an A.A., if that's what you mean. But I used to make her route before I'd go to the show I'd go down the hill there a little bit till I'd get around the curve and guess who wouldn't be looking out the bathroom window and I could dig me a little belt right there so that I'd quit shaking to darn hard I was scared to get out on the main highway till I had a few little things because I was emotionally disturbed every morning from too much vitamin or something and I would take a little honk on the jug and then I'd stop and take another little honK and then I'd finally get out in the highway with those zooming things going by and then i'd get up into a little hill way at the end of the road there i'd have at it this was about eight o'clock in the morning uh every morning i like to diet on sunday but i because i'd go to work so i had a certain spot there were no homes around there was nothing there and i could i always had, I didn't want anybody to know that I drank in the morning except I had a big bottle opener on the dashboard. I had a bottle of coke in the back. I lived, can I tell you? I had chasers and everything at eight in the evening in the morning up in this dinghy hill. So I have the remorse that we all have and I would swear off and I Would say what is happening to me until I'd get about four more down and thought well I'm doing pretty good here. And it wasn't a bird screeching. That's a beautiful song up there, and I'd sing with the birds and visit with the grass. You'd think that insanity isn't something. So day in and day out I'd go up there hang dog and everything, and I'd get enough of that flit in me so I could get back down to work and get a couple of doubles like a man ought to do, you know, walk right in there and take it. But one morning after I'd been going up to this certain spot for about a year. I'm almost ashamed to admit this. You guys shouldn't do this drunk. But anyway, I went up there and there was a great big electric light truck and five or six guys in my spot at eight o'clock in the morning. They were sitting in there and they were reading the paper in that truck and you think I'm a normal man? and I went right down to a telephone pay station. I called the electric light company, said there's eight guys up at the end of North Beechwood Drive dogging it. They should be working. They're not working. They're up there reading the paper. God, they said they're not supposed to go to work until nine o'clock. What's the matter with you? And he hung up. Well, there's a real sane thing. I could have gone a block down, you know, or a block up or a bloc over or just sat there. But no, I had to call the light company to move. That proved it. Well, I went down about a block from there and there was a bunch of ivy up and I thought, well, nobody can see me here, so I drank anyway. Had to by then. I was so disturbed at these idiots who were dogging it up there. So I drank a thing and I didn't want anybody to see the empty Coke in there. Well,I carried a pocket full of breath killers. I had clothes, parsley, bread, and some of those nickel chasers. And later a guy told me I smelled like a fruitcake for two years. So I got down and finally got the brandy down to me and I put the Coca-Cola bottle down on the curb so nobody would see it in my car and be suspicious of me. And I heard this fish wife from way up above say, Get out of here, you G.D. drunk! That was the lowest moment of my life. That was kind of when they turned the button on me because, you know, I thought, you know that old bag put the shoes on me a little bit? I was ashamed of that. I wouldn't admit it, especially after I had enough in me. But I believe that was one of the little turning points. It took a couple of years later for me to find the corner to turn. But I'll remember, and I hope I always remember, the morning of my low, low, low, it was a Sunday morning and my wife was out of the house and this will prove to you that I meant it. And I thought I'm going to see how long I can go this morning without a drink. I was around the clocker, not one of those periodics. My wife, I'm sure was at a church of her choice at that time. She tried many of them, searching for something for this idiot she was living with. She still says that sometimes. Anyway, she was gone and I thought I'd see. Well, I tried a cup of coffee and that liked to kill me and I said, well, my goodness, that caffeine certainly is shattering in the morning. Then I smoked a cigarette and that made me dizzy. Isn't that awful? I must inhale too deep. That's the thing I must watch. I'll go outside and try and get some air, and I remember I went outside, and put my arm around the post on the porch, and stood there a minute, and like died in that fresh air, had found out when I sobered up, there never was a post on our porch. Something held me up. And then I went in and you have all heard the gag of how much do you drink? The guy says, I drink a quart. And the other fellow says, well, for goodness sakes, I spill about that much a day. I went to spilling that morning for the first time. I had a jiggle glass as big around as a kumquat or whatever that is. It got this big and I couldn't get it to my head. It's funny to talk about now, but it was a desperation shot then and I liked to die. I couldn'T get the thing up to my head. It was zinging past here and all over here, it slobbered all over. So finally I got a little bit down, enough to warm me up and thaw me out, and I thought this has got to be it. Holy mackerel, what's going on now? And I remembered a guy who'd been hanging around the show. He was a nice, clean old man, and i am not too fond of clean old men. Even yet. But he had once said to me, I belong to a certain organization. Someday you may want to call me and I can tell you how people really drink. I took a bottle of here once, buddy, and I was drunk for five years, etc., etc. And how I avoided him is how you have avoided people like him before you got here. But the man came to my mind that day, and i thought i'll call that nice clean old man. But not alone. I had to have an audience. I couldn't just do it, you know, on my own. I waited for my wife by marriage to return. One person is better than no audience at all, you know. So I said to her in my most dramatic John Drew voice, Caroline, listen to this call. So, I went over and said, I'm calling you about that organization you talked about. I am scared to death. I'm afraid I'm going to die, I don't know what to do. And he said, Jack, I've been waiting for this call for a couple of years. And He said, you're going to make it unanimous, if you admit that you can't handle it, everybody else knows it. And I said, well, I'm scared to death. Believe me. Now, this is what I liked about AA and that's what you liked about it. I said to him, what in the name of God can I do? And he says, go out in the kitchen and take a drink. I said, are you not listening? Just got through saying I'm about to die of fright here and I can't handle this junk and I don't know what to do. What do you mean? And he said, go out and take a drink, your head's rattling so I can hear a word you say and I'll be right over. Well, I did the best I could to explain that to my wife who by then and was about up to here with me. And she said, as wives will, well, I hope he's right. But the thing happened then that I shall never forget. She said, after you made that call, 20 years come off of my face. That was the first good, decent, honest thing I had done in years. I admitted it to somebody, and I was scared. and I felt it then I went right out and took a drink I imagine two and over they came laughing and scratching and they said now we're going to be able to run this Alcoholics Anonymous without you is that clear? That was my first shock and then as they pointed out to you I'm sure they said you need us but we don't need you and I said you gentlemen are extremely unkind here I am burying my soul and most of my body and you're not kind to me at all and with that I said I think there's somebody at the back door if you'll excuse me I'll see and then I came back in and I said, pardon me, I'm very interested in what you're saying but I think the phone upstairs is ringing. You ain't got no phone upstairs. And I made about three trips like that and these crass men said, bring the jug in here, Dad. That's when I learned it takes a thief to catch a thief. is that wonderful that's what I like about AA they knew what I was doing and then they pointed out and I could have killed them but they pointed on about nine places I never thought of see this birds of a feather thing they were getting in there good you know and they keep saying this and that the other thing so finally I could see I was kind of losing here they had an answer for just about everything but I am sure that this would never have entered any of your minds but I had one more thing that I wanted to say to them and I'm sure nobody here has ever said it but I said to them you don't understand my case is different and I got it back from that And then they said, would you care to explain that briefly? And I said, yes. And I bet you a lot of you thought the same thing. I said I am afraid with it. I know just as sure as I'm standing here that if I quit drinking, I'll die. And he said no one has ever heard of anybody dying because they did not drink. That's all. I begin to see the light so I said I'm going on my on the road and when I get back I'm with you all the way and he said now don't be the biggest and the best AA we've ever had don't start tearing down beer signs don't get too excited about this take it easy and go to a few meetings and just open what's left of your knob and we'll see maybe you don't want it maybe you're not and then I thought what the hell are you doing talking me out of it and just trying to join the thing And they said, when you go on the road, just try to simmer down, and then when you get back, we'll start our walk. And I didn't know for sure what they meant by that walk, but I do now. I walked from 33,000 to 83,000 miles in three days, both up and down, sideways, and trying to get across the room without the use of a wall. but I decided to be a brave man and quit like that and it liked to kill me but I guess it worked and it took and I hope I never forget until they lower me down the forest lawn where I've got a free plot already promoted I hope I never forget the agony and the suffering and the whips and the jingles and the stupidity that I got myself into until the day they lower me down I hope I never forget but it was a wonderful feeling to know that these guys had done it and everybody was with me nobody's against me I had been a joiner I had joined everything my wife had sent me to a lot of things to meet other people my God did you go do that too fellas they got to go join the I'll give you to join the Kiwanis now we tried that a while they drink go to the Rotary Club no they drink too well that's too bad and try the Masons my gosh in every place you join they hustle you know right and I'm not sure but what one of those masons reached up under my apron once but there was a thing every organization is after something and you know in the Rotary Club I joined the Rotory Club Memoir Anonymous in an AA because if you call anybody by his last name there they cut your tie off give you a $15 fine to put in the poor fund for the kids at the same time he's giving you a car and says I use the used car a lot down here I'm like you know I see that I've tried that punker in here driving over 50 or I know a good dentist up the street since your teeth look black but it's good to see him you know everybody's awesome but not in AA now to get in the Rotary to get into Masons to get any else to get the Knights of Columbus to get anything they do a survey you know they look you up and they call everybody but the FBI and they check you And they find out that this, you can overlook that. And this, he can overlook that. And finally if you're lucky and you've got enough friends and they need a new member and some more money, you get in. You can join. And they give you a badge and you learn the songs and you get drunk again and go home. If you've got any brains at all, you get drunk and won't even go in. But in Alcoholics Anonymous, and this is what I love about Alcoholics Anonymous they don't investigate you. They don't want you in here if you're good. You got to be pretty near no good to get in here. Because you can't be an alcoholic and be real nice. So that's what I like about AA. You've got to be pretty or dead, you've gotto be pretty enough, and you've gotta be no good if they don't want you. That was easy for me. But it's a wonderful thing because everybody here cannot cast the first empty jug because they're here for the same thing you are. And you know, everybody comes to AA meetings because they want them. it's the most wonderful feeling in an AA meeting I know a preacher so damn mad he wasn't a drunk when he was a kid that he can hardly stand it and he said he'd give anything he'll ever get both on this earth and the next earth if he could ever get his congregation to say the Lord's Prayer and mean it like a bunch of ex-drunks everybody's here because they want it everybody's happy some people drove here 59 miles milked the cows and come up here tonight. You don't have to come to these things. You've got to go to some of the places. You've gotta go to the Rotary Club to find you. You've Gotta Go to the Masons to Forget the Handshake. You've GOT to do all those things. But here, you just come in and say, how are you? And somebody says, none of your business and walk away and you think, what? He's a new man. and nobody out that door cares who comes in here tonight there's no block sniffers in Dallas they don't come up and say how are you and Reverend Tom was talking about the hypocrites in the church well if you've got hypocrites and AA you can smell them that old fellow once I heard him talk he was a colored fellow in Hollywood he was wonderful he's the old oh God I forgot where I am if Governor Faubus is here you'll excuse me This colored fellow said that he was down and watching the Mississippi River one time. He said, I was drunk and I got to watching those sailboats on the Mississippi. And he said, I would watch a boat as it go down the river a little bit and the wind would change and it'd go back the other way. It'd go the other ways. And the wind, it'd just go the another way and he said my God, I'm just like one of them boats. I go this way a little while and I go the utter way a littler while and I do go the utter way a litter while I ain't getting no place I got to get in on that he was some speaker and he said I want to tell you about the first 12 step call I ever made my sponsor said it would be alright if the man that I was going to call on was real sick for me to give him just a little nip to straighten him out so he said my first call I went to this man and he says I'm dying I'm gonna die and I got to have a half a pint so I remember what my sponsor said and I ran out and I got him a half of a pint and this old boy laying on that bed drank the half of the pint went to sleep and I didn't get to talk to him so he said the next day he called up and I went right over there because I wanted to do my duty and he was worse the second day than he was the first day and he says my God today I am going to die would you get me just one half pint. He says, I went on, I got him a half pint, he went to sleep again. So the third day he called and he said, I'm dying, and I said, you go ahead and die today. I don't bring you the whiskey today, I'm bringing you the message. Well, you see, you've got to have fun with AA. You know, remember this, you found it out, you can only get so dry, you can Only Get So Sober in 90 hours. It's supposed to go out of you some way or another and it's all out of you all the flint's gone you just can't get no soberer and that's when your life begins that's when you gotta have the happiness it's a new way of life everybody keeps saying now you don't have to be happy on AA for heaven's sake if you don't want it you don't have to God don't be happy if it upsets you you can go around with a long face you can stand at various affairs and stand there with a long face and some idiot will come up and say well what's the matter with you and you can say I can't drink no more if you want I'll tell you how you can have some fun go to one of these cocktail parties where these gay merry mad livers are living and just stand around and watch them don't make fun of them don't scare them or just stand around and watch heaven, you keep it up. Always. And don't make fun of social drinkers. Nurse them, my friends. Nurse him where the hell we get the new members. Want this thing to die out? Don't scare them off. Let them get good and bad. Then get them. Another thing you can have some fun with, you stand around one of these things and they're all living it up you know, I'm not getting any place in this whiskey give me a martini, there he goes watch him, go down the street you'll have him in a day or two but they'll see you and there's something wrong with you you stand round, you're looking happy you're smoking, you know you light somebody's cigarette you haven't anything on the floor you're doing alright, just standing around there and somebody will get somebody else and they'll start whispering about you You can work him good. You know, just look serene as hell. Then you'll hear him. You'll say, what does he have so long? He goes down to some place where they pray. But just let him go a little bit and then you walk up behind him and in the loudest voice you can say, just say, are you talking about A.A.? Oh my God! You'll scare them half to death because they think we've got some kind of a leper colony here or something. But you can have a lot of fun with it and just let them go. But have fun with them. For goodness sakes, don't worry about it. It's like the old fellow that the rabbi had the priest over for dinner and they were having a nice dinner. The priest had the rabi over and finally the lady that was running the parsonage, I believe they call it, the priest brought out the dinner and he took off the thing and there was a big ham. And the rabbe said, well, excuse me, I don't want to embarrass you or anything, but would you mind frying me an egg? I think the ham I can't eat. I can' t have any ham in our religion. I'm sorry about that. And the priest said, I'm also sorry we get you an egg. So they had the egg and on the way home the rabbi walked home with the priest and he said, I'm glad you came over, rabbi. I hope you enjoyed yourself. And the rabi said, Yes, I'm so sorry about the ham episode but father, I'd like to have you come down to my house for dinner some night and bring your wife. and the priest said well now we're even we can't don't get married you don't eat ham and he said well you ought to try that ham anyway for any of you that are here tonight my friends and you're shopping for a cousin of yours that can't handle whiskey or you're kind of looking around to see how it works for some near and dear friend of yours, it's better than ham. Everybody is happy in AA. And if they're not happy in AAA, it's not AA. How many of you have said, or how many ofyou have heard, Well, you know, I tried it, but that program don't work for me. And nobody ever said that if you were paying attention that it would work for you. Nobody can get sober for anybody, and that's what a lot of people want. You can't buy sobriety. You can'T get sober from somebody. And those are the people who say it don't work for me that are over in the various institutions and they are now eating on the state. People who have slips are just as welcome as people who don't. You ever get blackballed in one of those other lodges? That's all, brother. That's the end of you. You never will get back. And the most beautiful thing is you go around in this meeting tonight, You go around in any AA meeting and you go up to somebody and say, it's wonderful, I enjoy it, but how does it work? And the fellow will say, well, what do you mean, how does this work? How does it works? Actually, how's it works. Well, you've got the book and you can go to meetings and... What the hell do you means, how is it works ? He'll say, oh, just that. How's it work ? Why don't you ask Oli? He's been on two years longer than I have. A very pointed example of that, I was down in Oak Ridge, Tennessee at the atom bomb plant. Now why I was asked to go down there, I'll never tell you. But they wanted some people from Hollywood and I guess I was the only one they knew that was free and would do something like that. No, they took Marie Wilson and I know why they wanted her. but they wanted me for it, I don't know. Anyway, I sat at this dinner with these people at the Atom Bomb and I thought, well, I find out about the AtOM Bomb now. So I asked the fellow next to me, I said, what do you do here? You connect with the Atом Bomb? And he said, yes, I'm connected with it. And I said what do I do? And he says, well I don' t know. Well I get away from him, he's new here. And I asked two or three people and I said well what do you do and he said I'm not sure and once in a while I wanted to say well I work in a certain cottage down here Cottage AF377X9 and we make a whole bunch of stuff and then we put it in a container and the jeep drives by and we give it to them and I don't know where they put it here's a whole much of guys making an atom bomb and they don't know what they're doing and this one fellow said to me but there's some kind of energy when it all gets together he said it's just phenomenal and he said, do you realize, Jack, that if it was possible to get a quart jar of atomic energy together it would blow up the entire universe. And you know I wasn't too startled because I got to thinking of us. It takes a quart of atomic energy to blow up the universe and for us as alcoholics it takes one stinking ounce to blow off our entire universe and if we are not our own universe what's the name of that we are fooling with something here that is more potent than this so feared atomic energy because One stinking ounce, and we're gone. God knows when we'll come back out of orbit the next time in here. That's what I like about Alcoholics Anonymous. We know how to end that now, don't we? A is a prideful thing. In my little village in Hampton, Iowa, we had the village drunks. in Dallas, in Fort Worth, in Houston, in Enos, in every place. They used to have the village drunks which no more is necessary, is it? Think of it. We are no longer the village drunk. We're no longer social outcasts. We have a prideful thing and never again should an alcoholic hang his head with shame or her head with the shame because don't you ever forget that it takes an awful good man and an awful Good Woman to make the AA program and it takes an awful size better woman to stick to it it is a prideful thing and I am here to tell you I am proud of AAs and I'm proud that I was in their office and I shall thank God until I die for my alcoholism and for AA. The village drunk days are gone. Society is accepting it. People now, when they apply for a job on the application blank almost already, they say, do you belong to AA if you don't get out? And I'll tell you something pretty funny. When an AA goes in to apply for an application and he doesn't want to apply for a jab, if the boss don't belong he don't want the job. Now he goes. We may start a third party. The way some of this is going, they need us. Is anybody going to make a 12-step call on Governor Long? I think that might help. Well, the Democrats will hate me tonight. I was once making a lecture on demon rum stamping out all drinking light wines and beer included and I mentioned in the talk about the spiritual side of Alcoholics Anonymous and after the meeting a guy came up to me and he said full into my face he said you mentioned the spiritual site of Alcoholic Anonymous tonight and I said yes I did and he says what other side is there you know I didn't have an answer the spiritual side now is Tom here tonight the preacher no he hasn't oh I'm going to oh he got a job last night he worked free thank goodness Tom's marrying somebody he'll make a couple of bucks this week I would like to tell you that in the olden days in the Methodist church I'll let this out I'd like to really have this kept anonymous my maiden name and you just can't get no more Methodists than that one thing that was fun if we played cards we were going to go to hell by the next Tuesday if we were gonna dance that was the very, very end and they in the older days and all of us know and so do I you never hear better talk than Tom's last night we all know that they used to shout hellfire and brimstone thou shalt not don't you dare act but most of them guys are dead thank goodness look in your own city there's the greatest example you'll ever see with a Methodist preacher boy I wish that old coot we had had had a little talk with Tom but people say well he was raised in an odd way or he was raised in a bad way environment inheritance and everything else which is a lot of bushwalk it's not true my mother was a devout Methodist may the Lord bless her soul she really worked and lived in the Methodist church if you think I inherited alcoholism my mother wasn't president of the Hampton Iowa not the Franklin County but my mother was president of the state, W-C-T-U. And even an A.A. can't get that right. So don't start that phony inheritance bit with me. But the spiritual side, everybody was scared. I was scared and spooky, you know. But the religion stuff, we've got no religion here. We've got nothing else. This is all spiritual. It's like the two little kids were standing on the corner. One of them said, hey, you pray at your house? He said, pray at our house, brother. We pray all the time. We pray in the morning, noon, night, afternoon, suppertime, dinnertime, on the way to school, you know, school, pray, pray. We pray it all the same. We pray at the bar. The other little kid said, he said, the other little child, do you pray in your house?" He said,"Yeah." I said, "'When do you play?' He says, oh, at night? He says you just pray at night He says yeah, we don't get scared We didn't either did we At least you're afraid of coming out of those blackouts I was once in a meeting where they asked a man it was sort of a forum and they said do you mind telling us how in Alcoholics Anonymous that you pray? Is there any reason you wouldn't want to tell us? No, I wouldn't. I'd be glad to tell you. Now this almost sounds like a gag but I want to say I never forgot it and I bet you won't either. He said every morning of my life when I get up I say God don't you and I get in any trouble today that you can't get me out of it. What is spooky about that? You can't have a more pleasant companionship with the power as we understand it. There was a little girl who wrote a poem once. The parish had a thing, and they had a contest for what the church meant. This little seven-year-old girl wrote this little poem. every time I pass a church I stop in for a visit so when they wheel me in feet first God won't look down and say who is it you don't know I don't I was born a mess I'm on my key chain and this is true I have here a little token from the Catholics of the blessed mark that the Catholic I got here I'm an honorary sister of Israel yeah but that's the Jewish star of David I carry that and I carry the Catholic little man they get along fine in my pocket the Methodists they ain't got anything couple of old used hymn books I can't carry but I got a little blank thing that's for the Methodist or the Protestant and I never was more serious in my life I carry all of these I don't know who's running it up there but whoever it is I'm with her he said what other side is there the spiritual side I got a friend that left a business meeting one time and they said where are you going he said I've got to go down the street and talk to my partner He said, you've been a lone wolf and a thief all your life. What do you mean partner? He said I mean just that. I want to go down and talk to my partner. And he went down to the church of his choice, knelt on his knees, asked his partner for guidance, went back to the meeting. It's a beautiful thing. And it never happened until we got in the AA. Everybody was scared. I was scared in that car sitting up in the end of that thinking thing. I thought, I bet you God is looking down at me and what he must think of me down here with this flip at 8 o'clock in the morning. I was scared of him. You know, I heard a phrase once. It wasn't applicable then to alcohol, but it is now. We are facing cunning, bad, and barbaric, as you well know. We can never let our guards down. And it's something to think about, but not to worry. You can worry yourself nuts. That's right, as you turn your life and your will over to God as you understand him and it's got to go because he's with us. This could only be a God-inspired thing. It couldn't be anything else. The tragedies, the sorrows, the misfortunes, the horrors have gone before. This has got to be a happy way of life. We paid to get in here. We paid plenty to get here. This is not a free thing. But the thing is to forgive yourself and forget it. And that was wonderful. I remember one time we were in San Diego, California at a meeting. I noticed two or three little girls on the front row. They were just little teeny girls and they were all dressed up looking like they're going to a party. Little did I know. So at the end of the meeting the birthday cakes were being given out and there was one of the dearest, finest, sweetest looking women I have ever seen with gray hair. She was well-dressed and she got her first year birthday cake. And as she accepted the cake, she blew out the candle. She couldn't talk for a minute. And then she finally got a hold of herself and she looked down at the front row and she said to these two little girls, You're proud of Grandma tonight, aren't you? And your mother could have been here if Grandma hadn't been drunk and killed her. this is a pretty serious business but it's a happy thing that we're over it now the whole burden and we're supposed to turn the whole burthen over to God as we understand him and he's waiting and he wants us we have to reach our low we have the right we have got to reach our low again it can be a moral low a mental low a physical low or all of them We had to reach it to get here. We had become no good to ourselves, no good for society, no good anybody to become a member of this organization. And do you realize that after a few days, weeks, months or years in this organization we came as nothing and now it's not our duty. It's not out of our privilege but it's our pleasure to put our hand up to God as we understand him get a hold of him and through us who had reached our low low low low can pass a spirit of God as we understand him and we can put our hand out and say to somebody if I can help you with his help I will God bless you and thank you so very very much Thank you, Jack, for that wonderful message. We'll never forget you. As a matter of fact, we're going to try our best to have you back again sometime. And now we're going to turn this rally over to our old friend, the dual hornblower, Jimmy Joy. Where are you, Jimmy? Thank you very much.