A Sign on His Desk That Says Higher Power Doesn’t Need My Help Today – Dave F.

Good morning, everyone. My name is Dave Forno and I'm an alcoholic for the grace of God's sponsorship and following a few simple movements over since September 4th, 1996. Please don't go back and tell my sponsor that I do not have a tie on at a podium. Please. And that's what I was taught. I thought I just had a workshop this weekend. Does that help me out? So I only brought one suit, and so I tried to mix and match, and this is what you got this morning. Plus it's better than a jumpsuit. I love this topic. I've been talking to a couple of people outside, and it brings to mind why I need to seek through meditation and prayer each day to improve my conscious contact with God. I was telling him a story at the Cornhusker Roundup this year. Our main speaker was Kent D. from Ohio. And it was Friday morning early. I got up. I did not. I was in a hurry to hurry up and get out to the roundup and do things. And he was sitting there, and ego got in the way, so I had to go over and introduce myself to this Kent D. I says, Hi, Kent. I'm Dave Forrell. It's nice to meet you. I see you're from Sandusky, Ohio. I was down in Columbus a while back, and I spoke at a conference down there. He says, no, you didn't. I said, what do you mean? No, I didn't, I was in the wrong state or what? And he says, they haven't had a conference down there in years. And I said that, I kind of heard that when I was out there that they hadn't had up a conference and this was the first one they were starting it up again down at Columbus. Well, anyway, now you can understand I'm not liking this guy right now. This is Friday morning, no prayer, no meditation, no anything, you know, and I'm already planning his death. Terry got with me. This was Friday. He didn't speak until Saturday night, and I went on and on. And then Saturday night we're all standing outside having a cigarette, and Amy, your dad, was standing out there, and we're all having a smoke. And I'm sitting there telling all these guys, well, we'd better go in and listen to this Kent D. And I was telling them about what took place on Friday morning. And I said, yeah, I went up to introduce myself and he told me there wasn't a conference and this and that. And all of a sudden, I get a tap on the shoulder and Kent's standing behind me. And he says, that isn't what you said, Dave. He says, you said Cleveland or something. And I says, no, I'm pretty sure I said Columbus. But I says、you know, I could be wrong. And I said、I've harmed you. This is how I was taught to do an amends. What would you have me do to right this situation? Because it looks like I got my mouth in trouble again here. He says、after I speak, come on up and talk to me. So after he spoke, I got in line like I'm supposed to do. And I thanked the speaker and I got up and I went up and he just gave me the biggest bear hug you've ever seen. And he says, you're cool, kid. You know, so everything was all right. But that's why getting back to, you know, stop through prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with God because if I would have checked in with him maybe that morning he would have made me shut my arrow. i was the guy who got here and i did not i had so many resentments and and old ideas and everything else about religion it wasn't funny i was a catholic kid we'd all go to church everybody pray and then they'd all meet down the beer joint and you know smack each other get in fights and everything house and that's what i witnessed because growing up my sponsor sent me down and he gave me a piece of paper when we got to the second step and he says Dave I want you to write on this paper if you can invent your own God what would that God be and I wrote down a pretty cool dude I mean he even looked like I think the dude on the zig zag papers and he could you know he was a pretty cool dude and that's where I made my start It was basically, you know, with that image and I shared that and I turned my life and will over to that. And that's what that step 11, you knows, has been for me all about is improving that, you known, conscious contact with the zigzag dude that I found out in step 2. And that is what I have done. It was weird because in the penitentiary, I don't know who I was trying to impress, but I always had the third-step prayers on their little shelf they gave you in the cell there. And I had a big book and I had daily reflections and everything. And I have this big, long deal going on every morning. I don' t know if maybe a guard would walk by and notice that and maybe tell the parole board, you know, I think he's turning it around. I don''t know. But I'd read that prayer every day, and I didn't understand anything it was saying to tell you the truth. So that's what I had to learn in this last 20 years is that I was taught early that, you know, prayer is talking, meditation is listening. I also know that there's a page 86 where they tell you how to get up in the morning. They tell you what to do throughout the day, and they even tell you how to go to bed. So they must have knew that they had some spooky dudes coming up that they hadn't explained. I mean, that covers your whole day. That's what I tell the guys down at the free quarter way house. Right here in one page it tells you howto get up, what to do throughout the day, and how togo to bed So you can't tell guys this and not look at it yourself. You've got to stay one page ahead of the people you sponsor and everything. And that's basically what I have done. When I came here, I came to believe in that step too. I got to admit that, you know, that God. And then I go through the rest of the steps and I get to the 11-step prayer and I sought out a whole bunch of people in AA that I knew that were really, really spiritual. Some of them were so heavenly they weren't any earthly good, to tell you the truth. But they had prayers that I could go to, and they gave me some instructions. I'm a guy who needs direction all the time. And they gave Me directions, and try this book, and tried reading this. I pretty much refer back to the same prayer that I always use after I cut out that hour-and-a-half, three-hour long ritual I had every morning. It was basically, God, let's not get into anything today that you and I together can't handle. And then I look at my day ahead, and I look out. I have a three-quarter warehouse. I have an heating and air conditioning business. I have honeydew list quite often. I have grandkids. I have the right things going. And I wouldn't know what to do without that meditation in the morning because I do look at my day at. And I was taught a long time ago in AA, if you've got seven, eight, nine different things you've gotta get done today, if can do four or five of them real well, you've had a pretty good day. And that's what I always get caught up into. And I ask God for that direction. Watch my mouth because I can get into all kinds of trouble with that. And I've been told that, and I believe them. And that's basically, you know, the, I have to stay plugged in. You know, what became as, you know, a belief that, hey, this could work, I can invent my own God, I can move on, has over the years, I've seen his handiwork. I've seen it. I've had guys that have come from living off the streets, living in dumpsters, and I was telling one gentleman outside, I spoke at a local deal, local church, and this kid was a couple days sober. And I spoke to him once, and two years later, I saw him, and he's all cleaned up and everything, and I said, man, and he says, you know, you're The first speaker I ever heard, I figured if you could make it, I could too. And he was two years sober, all dressed up, and he said, but I've got to get going. I said, where are you going? He said, I've Got to catch a plane to London, my new job. And this guy came out of a dumpster. So I've seen his handiwork. I've see what he can do. Look what he's done for a spook like me when I just get out of the way and the energy that I don't burn up so foolishly. The things that I think I have to get involved in all the time, the kids, the wife, the family, you know, so many times the energy I save by just saying, you know God, your will, not mine, whatever I can get involved with and help me stay out of what I ain't got no business getting involved in. That frees me up, and I've been finding out that frees me up with the time that I need to do some things with my life. Maybe even go, you know, let a line. You know what I mean? Just like this year. If you've heard my story, I went from a five-gallon bucket to a pretty nice fishing boat. And that's been in the water twice this year, so I'm thinking about going ahead and letting that go. Because, you know, there's just so much going on with grandkids. But the only reason I'm holding on to it is to get the grandkids in there with me. Yeah? And I'm looking so forward to that when they get big enough to go do that. But that's a, you now, I'm not a real religious praying guy. But I'll tell you what, when I'm sitting out in that boat watching the sun go down or I'm sitting in that deer stand and I'm seeing all them leaves turn. And just now, you know, this weekend, I went down and I drove down and looked at the baseball stadium and where history was and Joe Morgan and Pete Rose and, I mean, Johnny Bench and all that. And all the way there, I'm just thinking, you now, why don't I stay out of the way more often? And I can see this beauty. I can say different things, you kno. I can see God's handiwork. Sixty years old, been shot at, been stabbed. I've had bridges going 60, 70 miles an hour. There's no reason I should be standing there and still once in a while I'll question God or think he needs a little bit of help because he ain't getting this done here real quick. It's amazing. It's astonishing to even question it anymore. I just think he need a little help, and that's one of my biggest prayers in the morning and I have a sign right there on my desk that God isn't going to need my help today. And when I can keep that, that just principle, the things they taught you in AA and you don't have to offer anything else, that's my biggest thing. And I know it is because I've had them old sponsors just drill that into me. It's in the seeking. It's into seeking. And that's all I ever heard. And I do have a, you know, the daily reflections. I take a look in there. I've always been a big book guy, so I figure, you know, there's some prayers after every single step in there that I can, you don't know, grab one of them prayers. And I deal with it. You know, it's just kind of like a real friendship when I, you now, when I pray in the morning. God, come on. You know how I am. so let's keep an eye on this or I got this coming up or I've got to go to Ohio and talk in front of a whole bunch of people help me not to screw up I pray for selfish means sometimes I'm not pure as a driven stone I did ask him yesterday if he could possibly have Nebraska play show up maybe compete and, see, I prayed for selfish means and they got buried, what, 62 to 3? Carded our quarterback off on a board and then he came back five minutes later kissing his girlfriend in the rotunda and everything else. Like, I mean, I think he had fear running. And he didn't know that we have a fear prayer here too. That when I wake up, I can do the fear prayer. I can humbly on my knees, you know, say a prayer. And they taught me all this. And like, I'm not no, I've tried everything else, inspirational books, I've try everything, but I think God understands, you don't know, the way I am. That I'm that, you now, the one thing I did get when my mom died, my dad gave me her rosary. And I still have her rosery and he says, here, you ought to have this. You know, she burned the beads up on it for you is what he told me. And I have that rosary. And I haven't gotten back to the Catholic Church. And I don't, you know, I had said one time I don' t want to go into church. If I do, it will fall down on me. And then a sponsor reminded me I wasn' t that important. And I'd like to see my grandkids. And there's some actions I need to take. When they stay over, and they're over a lot because their parents, I don't think, can stay home on a weekend. And we're watching them. Maybe walk them up to the church, get them some sort of direction and everything else like that. But this is about me being straight and clean and on top of it with God. And I'm telling you, it's amazing when I do it how the day goes so great. And I spend time on meditation. I spendtime on prayer. And all day long, it's just, you know, fantastic. Boy, but you know the days when I didn't do it. And I don't know why, you now. And I think God isn't working quick enough and he isn't doing this and he hasn't done that. Like I said, I'm not going to shout from the highest mountain and I'm never going to get into all that bees and owls and everything. My God today, what I'm finding out, just wants me to help another drunk. And every day that's got to be the first thing on my mind. How can I serve you today, God? What guy out there needs a little nudge? What guy up there needs some help down at the house? How about the meeting? What do I need to do there? And that's my biggest thing is it seems like when I'm thinking of somebody else or doing God's work and helping out another person, I have a great, fantastic day. So I don't know how long I'm supposed to do this or anything else like that, but I'm not going to go on and on and make up things. All I know is that's a daily practice, and that's something that I need to look at, and I needto look at it a little more and spend a little bit more time on it. And then maybe someday I'll become so heavenly I'm no earthly good. You know? go around, huh? Did he do though? I have a gal at our home group that every time she sees me she gives me this. Doesn't ever say a word. I said thank you. Her name's Mary. I say thank you Sister Mary. So, you know in closing I just want to say too this is not a glum lot here in Ohio. I'll be leaving and catching a plane when I leave here and I'm telling you what I had so much fun this weekend. And talk about getting your spiritual batteries charged back up with Clancy and everybody else, the committee. You guys do a great job up there. That's a class act, man. And my new friend Liz, and I got her number. I mean, just all kinds of people here. You know, you Ohio people are my people. You're just regular guys in the home, and I love that. And I want to thank you for asking an old drunk driver like me to come out and share this weekend with you. And, you know, I love you all, and i'll see you all again. I'll be up this way. Thank you.