The Traditions That Keep Us from Getting Drunk – Johnny H.

hi everybody my name is Johnny I'm an alcoholic Jesus I thought I don't know what I thought to tell you the truth in a long time seemed like to me longer longer than it has been, but I want to thank you for coming and for your attentiveness. I hope I made some sense out of my nonsense, but what I want to talk to you about now is something that very seldom ever gets talked about in Alcoholics Anonymous. A lot of people don't realize the implications of them. A lot of people don't realize that they're even there, and they're being under attack constantly all the time by, I don't know for what reason, but it seems to be. And they're called the Twelve Traditions. Now, the reason you and I are sitting in this room and the reason we're allowed to gather together under this roof is not because of the Twelve Steps. It's not becauseof our sponsors, and it's notbecause of the book Alcoholics Anonymous. and it's not because of the activities that we participate in. The reason that you and I are allowed to participate in this weekend and sit in this room today is very simple. Somebody a long time ago thought enough about us and the future of Alcoholics Anonymous to write your traditions. traditions. The reason we're here in this room is not because of the Steps Alcoholics Anonymous or all these other things, the reason we are allowed to gather here is because of the traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous. To me after forty some years of sobriety the traditions have become much more important to me than the steps. You see if I don't apply the steps to my life, I'll get drunk. But if we don't start adhering to the traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous, we're all going to be drunk because there won't be any Alcoholics Anonymous. And don't think just because we sit comfortably and warm surrounded by loved ones and friends that AlcoholicsAnonymous cannot disappear from the face of the earth. There was a movement in the 1840s that had the very same answer that we have. They were called the Washingtonians, and they grew faster in three or four years than we grew in 20-some. After Alcoholics Anonymous was in operation for four years, Bill Wilson had a tough time finding 100 people to claim they had 100 people sober and alcoholics nonce, and there wasn't 100. By the time the Washingtonians were three or four years in operation without television, without any type of public thing, they measured sometimes in a different estimate somewhere between three and four hundred thousand people sober alcoholics they had the very same answer that you and i have today they were surrounded by lovely warm people who cared about them and one alcoholic talking to another alcoholic but things started to seep in that you hear in alcoholics anonymous today if we can use this program to sober up alcoholics just think what we could do for the rest of the world. And so they started to get into things they had no business getting into, they started let everybody non-alcoholic participate in their meetings, they started taking stands on political issues and in two or three short years they'd vanished from the face of the earth never to return again. And in the In the 1940s when Alcoholics Anonymous was in its fledging stage, it wasn't ten years old yet, there was a man in North Carolina who wrote Bill Wilson a letter and he said from where I sit, Bill, it looks like Alcoholics Anonymous is in the same state that the Washingtonians group was in when they disintegrated and blew up. And to show you how extinct they had become, Bill Wilson never heard of the Washingtonian groups. And so the man wrote him this letter and sent him a copy of the Washtetonian group, and what Bill Wilson did for us, he sat down and wrote the 12 traditions out of the mistakes that the Washingtonians had made so you and I wouldn't have to make them. That our children and our grandchildren and our great-great-great great-grandchildren may have an opportunity, if they have a problem with alcohol, to come to Alcoholics Anonymous and get the same chance of recovering from this seemingly hopeless state of mind and body that you and I had. And it wasn't without conflict, and it wasn'T without things. People would write to Bill and say, You can come, and he was sending these things out in a series of articles in The Grapevine. you can come and talk to us about Alcoholics Anonymous, but don't come here and talk with us about these traditions. We don't need rules, we don't need regulations, we're doing just fine, thank you. But the reason you and I are alive and well if you're an alcoholic of my type today is that at the first international convention in Cleveland Ohio in 1950, three or four guys got up and read the traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous, and Alcoholics Anonymous as a whole accepted them. If they hadn't been accepted that day there would be no Alcoholics anonymous today I'll flat guarantee you. There wouldn't be anybody standing around blaming or bragging about a million sober alcoholics everywhere. What people don't seem to tell you is that it ain't the same million people every day and what they don't seem to tell you is that the twelve traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous are as spiritual as any step that you may ever take and what their design to do according to my sponsor norm is teach me how to live with you and it teach me me how to keep the message of Alcoholics Anonymous live and well, and never garble it or never water it down. Now when I was new in Alcoholics Anonymous and I went to meetings with my sponsor Norm, I would sit in meetings with Alcoholics Anonymous, and I hear this a lot, and I would hear people get up at the podium and say to people, The traditions are to the group what the steps are to to the individual. Now, my sick little brain heard it like this. The traditions are for you and your group, but they had nothing to do with me. And so one night I'm in a meeting with Norm and he's talking. And I was feeling pretty frisky that night, I suppose. And about About the time they started reading the traditions or they went into principles before personalities, which out on the coast we think that a lot of people think that's the only part of the traditions they know. It's called chanting. Principles before personalities. They say it in unity in the treatment centers out there and it carries over as a fellowship. I sidled down and sat in my chair, looked out the window. On the way home that night, my sponsor, as he was wont to do, said to me, Johnny, how'd you like the meeting? And like any good baby, I said to him, oh, God, it was great, Norm. You gave a great talk. I sure appreciate you coming and getting me and taking me to the meeting. He said, did you hear the tradition, Johnny? And I said, I sure did. He said what do you think of them, Johnny. I said they are to the group what the steps are to the individual, Norm, Jesus. He pulled the car off to the side of the road, and he got in my face. And he said, where do you get this nonsense? I said, I just heard that at the meeting you just spoke at. Did you hear it? I'm getting a little chesty about this time. You know, I've got a couple of years under my belt. You know what? I'm dangerous. Two years of sobriety in AA is dangerous. We know more than the world knows. We answer questions that haven't even been asked yet. But we got them. And so he said to me, you've got to be careful what you tell your sponsor because they're going to come back and hit you with it sooner or later when you get out of line. He said, you told me that the first person you identified with in Alcoholics Anonymous was Bill Wilson. I said, that's right. Why? He says, you know Bill Wilson wrote the tradition, didn't you? And I said yeah. He says you know why he wrote them? him? And I said, no. He says he wrote them because of a personal weakness within himself in every single one of them. I said really? How interesting. He said now let me tell you and give you a little exercise. It's okay. What is it? He said why don't you go home and read the traditions and implant the word I instead of the word we and see what you come up with. Listen to what it says, my common welfare should come first my recovery depends upon AA unity. Isn't that amazing? My recovery depends, why would that be if there's no unity and we're not all going down the same road with the same thing in the same message we will destroy ourselves the washingtonians did it so why are we any better than them they were god's kids too so the unity has to be the singleness of purpose of alcoholics one alcoholic talking to another alcoholic to get them to identify so they'll do things they don't believe in. That's what that means to me. Unity is all of us going in the same direction. Call it walking on a lockstep if you want to. Where I go to meetings sometimes they call us Nazis marching down the road together under the same drumbeat. That's fine, but that's a misnomer. The people who call people like that Nazis are the ones who are killing people here. and the ones who are supposed to be Nazis are the ones that are saving their lives it's the most amazing thing that I know of because they're just oh I don't have to do that I can come into your home group and do anything I want to no you can't my home group has assimilated a bunch of customs that they expect people to adhere to whatever they may be they expect you to hear they've taken these customs and through the group conscience they have adopted them and they expect the people who come to honor that custom even if they come from outside groups my home group sends out a letter to the people who are going to participate and say we expect the women to wear dresses and the men to wear coats and ties when they come to me that's not a tradition that's a custom do not for a word ever try to get customs superimposed with traditions. Traditions are here. It's about the unity of alcoholic synonyms, about the preservance of alcoholic anonyms and there's a tradition that affects and okays the customs of a group. For my group purpose, there's but one ultimate authority. a loving God's express himself through our group conscience our leaders are but trusted servants they do not govern now what is a servant servant serves very simple the word serve is in the word service a servant sir so what am I suppose I'm supposed to serve my home group. I'm supposed to be of service to my home group. That doesn't mean I just come in there and suck the life out of it, because I've been sober a little while and I don't have to do nothing. If you have customs so what? I'm sober. I want to smack people like that, but I don' t judge. One of probably the most attacked tradition we have today and I'm sorry to say the biggest violators of this tradition are the old-timers in AA. Those silent old timers who sit back on their butts and say nothing about the violation of this tradition. The short form says, the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. ranking. The way it was written and accepted in Cleveland was not that way. It says we may refuse entrance to no one who wishes to recover from alcoholism. That's an entirely different way to read it, listen to it, isn't it? Drug addicts cannot become members of of alcoholics than I am. Sorry. Bill Wilson wrote that in a pamphlet. Non-alcoholics cannot become members of alcoholism than I. Isn't that amazing? They'll tell you, I have a desire to quit drinking. You ever drink? Nope. Now how can you have a desired stop? Well, I just and have a desire to stop. You can't be an alcoholic if you haven't drank, for Christ's sakes. I mean, I'm sorry. Alcohol has something to do with alcoholism. I mean I don't want to drop too much on Chicago all at once. You know what I'm saying? I got that figured out all by myself. Alcohol does not cause alcoholism but you can't become an alcoholic if you can be an alcoholic if you have a drink. That gives you some great discussions for your participation meeting meeting. Where the custom comes in is in the four traditions. For my group conscience, for our group purpose, a group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or as a whole. One of the customs in our group Charlie talked about this morning, plants don't like mustaches or facial hair but people come to our meeting with facial hair but they can go to his yard and play ball with facial hair. One of the customs of our group, if you take a birthday, you wear a coat and a tie and you thank your sponsor. And you sit down. You don't make a week-long celebration of taking a birthday cake and drop into a meeting if you haven't been there once a year and say, I'm here to get my cake. Just let you know I'm making it well without you. But that's what customs are. are. Customs are those kind of things. Now, I'm not about to go in to the Pacific Group which I've been a member of for 20 some odd years since Clancy's been my sponsor. I'm about to going to that meeting and haunch up and say I ain't gonna do this. I've so over 22 years I don't have to do this.I'm not going to sit out of my home group and try to overrule the conscience of the group because obviously the group conscience says this is what you do because nobody gets up in protest except for three or four people who move somewhere else so whatever the group conscious we're talking about autonomy that's self-governing whatever it increases its customs is fine with me as long as there's not a non-alcoholic participating in it when a When a nonalcoholic participates in an AA meeting, it is no longer an AA meeting. You can call it what you want to call it. It's not an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and I can prove that by the next tradition. Each group had but one primary purpose, to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers. If a non-alcohol could do that, none of us would ever have to go to alcoholic synonyms. How many times have we been told in our life, if you love me, you'd quit drinking? If you would only do this, you'd quit drinking. You'd be better off if you didn't drink. If only you do this. If only you'd do that. If the only you to do this if only you do that, I'm going to do that." If they could help us, we would have never had alcoholic synonymous but obviously the non-alcoholic world no matter who they are or where they are do not understand the nature of the alcoholic. They don't, I'm sorry. None of them do. Al-Anon is not a part of Alcoholics Now. Sit in their meetings and listen to what they read. They're a separate entity. Their words and their steps says they They can carry the message to others. Ours says we carry the messages to alcoholics, period. It does not say we invite everybody here. We just welcome you all here. And when you're sitting in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous and you're sitting there and you are allowing non-alcoholic to participate in your meeting, you are not a very good member of Alcoholic Anonymous either. And you are sure not sitting in an AA meeting because the minute a non-alcoholic gets at this podium, it is not an AA meeting. If it was, you've got to tell me why that fifth tradition is wrong. An AA group ought never endorse financial lend the AA name to any related facility or outside enterprise. I should never endorse financial lend my name to to any outside facility or related facility outside Interproblem, these problems of money, property, and prestige avert me from my primary purpose. What's my primary person? To stay sober and carry the message to the alcoholic who still suffers. So it goes right back into that primary purpose, My primary purpose is to stay sober and to carry the messages to the alcoholics who still suffer. I don't have any other purpose. I'm not doing it for money or for prestige. alcoholics anonymous is an advocation for me always has been I've never made any money off of a matter of fact I've lost money on a my sponsor mean makes me pay the money in the basket and he watches me I got a match his sometimes Sometimes he says, can I borrow five, John? Be my guest. I say, okay, we're yours. That takes care of what seven says. God, how do you just fall into these things? Every AA group ought to be fully self-supporting and declining outside contribution. But I want to go back to six. Why I do not endorse or affiliate with anything. Actual or implied. I do not sign court cards that's a violation of our traditions I don't sign a guy walked up to me one day and walked up to the guy standing there secretary of the group the guy said would you sign my court card the guy says are you an alcoholic the guy goes no the court sent me he says then you must be a criminal we don't assign criminals cards Jesus the guy turned and walked away a week later the same guy came back a miracle had happened he became alcoholic now I'm going to give you I'm gonna give you a true tale a true story about this this is a true store a few years ago the guy I was sponsoring in Huntsville Alabama asked me to come down and do a workshop 12-step workshop for weekend Hunts Alabama. And while I was there, I ran into a little doctor guy that I love. He was a non-alcoholic but I loved him anyhow. He's just sweet man and every time I turned around he sitting there talking to him but he had a wife who was kind of a player, you know what I mean? Fur coat and Thunderbird and plastic and stuff, you know what i mean? She'd been head of work done so they say in California. But And so I went home. I didn't think anything about it. I loved that little doctor. I went back to the hospital. I went to my own home, and about a month or two months later, I got an envelope from these people at Huntsville. It was filled about that full. It was newspaper clippings. It seemed that this woman, while she was in an AA meeting, had contacted a guy to kill her husband while she was in the AA meeting. And her defense was that she was in the AAA meeting, so she couldn't kill him. and they subpoenaed the whole AA group to that little town of Huntsville, Alabama to testify on her defense. Well, they figured it out that when she got home he wasn't dead so she finished the job so they convicted her and her sister, twin sister of it, anyhow to make a long story short. But when you sign one of those court cards, do you think about that sometimes? time. We're not an arm of the court. We have nothing to do with a court. If you bring your court card, sign it. Any good alcoholic will sign their own court card. I mean, these guys are trying to get out of beefs and off the heat off of them won't because they want verification. They want to blame you. I'm an alcoholic. If I had come to my first meeting They told me, you sign this court card for 30 days, go to 30 meetings in 30 days and get this court card signed. I had to go to one meeting to find out the procedure. I never went back. That's affiliation. Any way you look at it is affiliation Now my home group does it. My Wednesday night meeting does it, but I don't approve of it. I get tired of being run over by people flying up to the podium to pick up their court cards as I'm trying to go shake the speaker's hand or something. It says I should be fully self-supporting, inclining outside contributions. It means I have to go to work. Sorry. Sponsor told me that. Go to work your bum. Said you have to be self- supported through your own contribution. And much of the tragedy I have said in meetings with alcoholics and odds with people that I've been out to dinner with and watching me $40, $50 worth of food. And when the tray goes by they throw a dollar in it or they put nothing in the basket. But those same people will stand at putters and tell you how grateful they are to alcoholics now. I just cringe. And if I'm not there to see it my sponsor tapped me and said, look at that empty basket. Okay. Why don't you say something Clance? Why don t you? This says here in the 8th edition that I should remain forever non-professional. But our service centers may employ special workers. Now a lot of people got that screwed up. Talking about our central offices should be worthy of their hire. But counseling alcoholics, according to the tradition, are professionalism. It's a violation of that tradition. Counseling alcoholics for fees or for fire, that's the way they define professionalism in the long form of the tradition. It is kind of a trap a lot of times for a lot of people. I've seen a lot people die over this thing. I have seen some people who successful at it. I've seen a lot of people die over it. When I was new in Alcoholics Anonymous, I didn't know how to do anything when I came out of the penitentiary. I didn t have a driver's license, a social security card. I'd never held a job in my life. I was 30 years old. I didn't like to work. I liked to have a check. I did not know nothing. And I'm about a year out of penitentiary struggling out there in the oil field to try to support my wife and my two little kids and i don't understand what's going on i got a call from a from an institution they were building out in norco and they wanted me to come out and was recommended by the warden of the penitentiary i came out of and he said the role of the thing was the role of the offender in treatment and so i went out to see what it was and what they sent they offered me a job basically what they offered offered me. And my job was to sit in the parole department with my little death sign to let everybody know who I was, and when I doubted, I could turn around and look at it. And my deal was I was supposed to keep tabs on the parolees who went to AA and the ones that didn't. In other words, I was going to be a paid stool pigeon, for lack of a better a word i just snitched that's what i was going to be sounded good to me i'm struggling i ain't got two nickels rubbed together i couldn't even bought a hummingbird or racing suit i had nothing i got a wife and two little kids she's working to keep the food on the table i'm working in my oil field trying to get it and they offer me a thousand dollars a month to do this job an estate car car. Ooh, sounds great, doesn't it? All I'm going to do is work with alcoholics. Sounds good, don't it?" They had a break that day and so I went home and that night I had to take an old lady by the name of Myrtle Snyder to a meeting who was like a mother to me. Then I come up in this old rattle-trap car of mine that would barely run, barely legal, and I picked her up and I put her in the car. she no more gets in the car and i start telling her mom mom guess what but we're going to have to ride around this old rattletrap car very much longer i'm going to get a great new car i'm gonna work eight to five we're gonna be able to go those institutions together on the weekend we don't be spitting and missing like we do in the oil field i'm not gonna be able to meetings at night i've got all these things going for me mom what do you think about that she thought for a moment and she looked at me and she said I'd like to ask you a question sweetheart it's okay so how do you sell a gift particularly if the gift isn't yours it was given to you freely you give it away freely I had to go back to that institution the next day and told him that I would be glad to to come out and talk to those people anytime they wanted to right after I got off of work. I have never regretted that decision, ever. And I haven't had to do without anything either in the last 40 years of my life because of that decision. As a matter, I've been rewarded it in abundance time and time and time again. You cannot sell this thing. You can't make money off of it. There's something wrong with that. I don't know what it is, but somehow way down here I know it's wrong. Something about that disturbs me and I don' t know what it is. Not judgment, it just disturbs me. I guess it's because my sponsor Norm made me realize it more than anything else because of his caring for me and taught me about these traditions. They say, hey, I'll never be organized. Well, we don't have to worry about that here. But we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve. The committee that put on this thing, whatever it is, this convention, they're here for only one reason. They're here to serve you. When you take on the opportunity or the responsibility or the pleasure of being allowed to work on one of these types of committees, you are almost obligated to bring the very best that you can to these people. It's almost an obligation. It is not somebody we like or somebody we think we like, or somebody that is funny. The very best message of Alcoholics Anonymous we can bring to these peoples, that should be our responsibility when we work on one of these committees and do these things whether it's a group level whether at the service level whether that's this convention level whatever level it is we should always maintain the highest integrity of alcoholics anonymous that we can because we have to attract alcoholics to us and they will not be attracted to people who do not have integrity they will will not be attracted to people who are just let it go. They've let it go all their lives. That's what all this stuff is about. He said, Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues. I'm not interested in your mayor or your governor. I am not even interested in my president. I m not interested in any of that nonsense. We don't wear bumper stickers or it s a violation to wear stickers about who who we vote for, or what group we belong to. That's an outside issue of some sort. The AA name ought never be drawn into public controversies. That way we should raise ourselves above some level here where we're not being controversial enough the way we are. We're a bunch of sober drunks. That's controversial enough. enough. We don't have to give them reasons to talk bad about us by our behavior, the way we... You know, I don't even have a bumper sticker on my car. You know what you see them sometimes? Bumper sticker. But for the grace of God, live and let live. Butterflies. Bill Wilson's friend. Blah, blah, blah. I don' t put one of them on my my car. You know why? I don't want anybody to think that a member of Alcoholics Anonymous acts that way on the highway. I don t want to think a member of Alcoholic Anonymous walks up and honks the horn and goes . So when I do it, they don't know I m a member AA. That s what that means to me. Exactly what what it means to me. Public content. My public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion. Attraction, that's what I just talked to you about, about the responsibility of the people who put these gatherings on. They should try to bring attractions to you. They should trying to bring members of Alcoholics Anonymous who are active and participating in their own groups. They should probably be people to you who are active and participating with sponsorship. They shouldn't be people do you who know this book and can express their experience, strength and hope with you and not make you laugh and dehe and keep you entertained till you get to the dance. I mean that's a responsibility. We're based that's our thing. Press, radio and film. I would never let anybody video me. What would I do? Sit around and look at it? I'm an alcoholic. I would look at it. And I'd find out if I had the right tie on at that moment, and if I was inflected at the right moment, and if I cried at the right moment. It would go on and on and on and on. And the reason I don't do it is because this says I can't do it. That's what it says. I can't do that because my life hangs on the balance of if I violate the tradition, the penalty is swift and sure just as well as if I violated the steps. Because this is all a matter of egotism. This is all about self-serving. All a matter splashing Splashing my around, look at me, ain't I something? Look at me. Ain't I wonderful? Look at Me. Blah, blah, blah. Look at ME. What am I? I'm a tongue-chewing, babbling idiot is what I am without you. But that makes me special that I'm supposed to go on TV or have my video made so you can think of me as some great, wonderful person that you can look at and have the message? Come on. on. What are we doing here, for Christ sakes? Trying to get from one alcoholic to another. We're not trying to rise up to any star status around here. I know there are people who think they are. They're not. They just think they are and their penalties are swift and sure here also. Anonymity, to me, is a very spiritual thing. Very spiritual. What it means to me I can't take any credit at all for the goodness that's happened to me since I've been sober. None. I get no credit for it whatsoever because I can even take any credit for coming here. I can't take any credit for staying here, I can take any credit for comin' here. If I'd known why I was coming 45 years ago, I wouldn't have come. Alcoholics Anonymous wasn't on my priority list and so I do not take that lightly. I don't run around with my customers and say you better buy from me today, I'm sensitive. I may drink if you don't, you know. I'm alcoholic, you know.I'm in that A&A thing. Most of you know I'm a salesman. I get out and I go out and sell things to people. Basically I'm the box salesman but this is an AA meeting. Boxes are a part of my story so I thought I'd share it with you. And I do a lot of things i do a lot of cold call i could do cold call like you're calling people i've never done business with and i'm driving down the street one day and i saw this parking lot full of my product it's a good prospect huh so i pull into the parking lot and i pull up alongside this little red mustang little red mustangs i saw when the bumper stickers said live and let live well that made me feel good you know they remember somewhere in the neighborhood So I walk into this receptionist, and I hand her my business card. And I say, could I see the purchasing agent? She said, well, he's a little busy, but let me call him and see what he's got to say. And I said, okay. So he called him, and he said, Well, he'll be free in about ten minutes if you want to wait. He'll be glad to see you, talk to you. I said oh, thanks. I ain't got nothing to do. So I sit down, and like I want to do, I'm looking for an edge. So I said to this gal, I said I'm a car buff. up. I noticed that little red Mustang in the parking lot. Is that yours? She said, oh, no, no, that belongs to the purchasing agent. Wow. I just hit the mother load. I can see my trucks pulling up there day after day after days. I could see my jet airplane taking me me to faraway places. I just got all this in a short period of time. Jesus, I've hit the mother level. Because my sponsor and my home group have taught me that these traditions mean something. I walked in and said to the man, my name is Johnny, this is what I do and handed him my business card and I see you buy some of this product. Would you be be interested in me selling you some of them. He said, why? I gave you a couple things to quote on and see how your prices are. You know, go quote on them and come back with them. I said, oh, okay, thank you. And I shook his hand and he gave me the dimensions of what he wanted me to quote on. And as I started to walk out the door, I said oh, by the way, I said your receptionist told me that that's your little red Mustang out there. Everything everything about this man changed. I mean, he turned red in the face. He said, no! That's not my Mustang. That's my ex-wife's Mustang. She went to that damned AA and ran off with a drunk. Really? I guess you think I said, No, no, no. You don't remember. I'm a member of AA. Don't you talk that bad about AA to me. I'll kill you. No, I looked at him. I I said, I heard that's what they do over there. Now, I have been dealing with that man and that company for over 30 years. He's never given me a purchase order. He just calls up and orders what he wants. So something must be working right. But I'll tell you this. If that man walked into that door today, he'd have a different idea about alcoholics. You know why? Because for 30 years he's had somebody come into his office with a smile on his face, who's treated him honest and with respect, who idolizes dignity, and he doesn't even know I'm alcoholic. I've taken him out to dinner, I've take him out the lunch, I've taking him to basketball games and baseball game. He never one one time ever said to me, why don't you drink? He wasn't really interested in that. He enjoyed my company and joy. So if he walked into that meeting today and knew me as a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, he would have an entirely different idea about what Alcoholics Anonymous is than his wife. Can you imagine what would happen if I'd have said to that man what I wanted to say to him? I'm a member of AA. They don't all act like that over there. I'm admitted, if I'd have walked in and said to him, hi, I'm AA, he'd have hit me. But I didn't. That's what I'm talking about. Anonymity is a spiritual thing. It's not because we're so ashamed of being alcoholics or alcoholics and all that. My wife, my lovely lovely wife, Karen. The other day she came back from physical therapy and was right next to a Starbucks. And Karen went in to get a glass of tea. And they were talking about how they had the cops in there a while back. And down below this mall that you're in, there's a Milano Club down there where AA's meet every day. And this one lady standing I was standing behind Karen and said to her, you know you are getting a different class of people around here. She said, I notice these AA's come in here and smoke and leave their ashtrays full and leave the coffees and wrappers laid on the thing here. And she said, I don't know why they let those AA's even in this mall. Think about that sometime. time. We are not as well accepted in society as you would like to believe that we are, and the reason we're not is because we have an awful lot of people in Alcoholics Anonymous who just don't give a damn whether Alcoholics Anonymous survives or not. They're only in this thing for the moment and for the day and for hour, and they think Alcoholics Anonymous was put down here just for them to enjoy it so they can be sober for a period of time before they die. I'm not that way. You see, I have four grandsons. I have three great-granddaughters. My number three grandson is starting to get into trouble already. I hope none of my children or my great- grandchildren or my grandchildren ever have have to come to Alcoholics Night. It's not that I wouldn't want them to share what we share on a basis of love and togetherness and experience, strength and hope and God of our understanding, not all the good things. I don't want him to have to have the hell pounded into him that it takes for him to get here. And believe me, it takes some hell for you to have get here, may not be physical, it may not outside but it does take some type of inner hell to drive you into Alcoholics Anonymous to get you to accept these principles. I care about that. I care for Charlie's children. I want them to be allowed to come in and sit down at a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous the same way I did 45 years ago, and have the same message of recovery handed to them that was handed to me, and make it attractive enough where they would want it when they needed it. That's why I care, that's why I talk about the tradition, that is why I go to meetings, that's way I talk abut the steps, that why I talk about God and Alcoholics Anonymous, that is why i talk about my sponsor, that is why talk about their tradition, that's what I talk about my home group, that is why I talk about my life today and the peace and happiness and joy that I have received in the last 45 years of my life is worth all the money in the world. There are people that I know who have millions of dollars, who are so tormented that they can't stay sober. But the very thing that they think makes them happy is the thing that will keep them tormented. It's an illness called alcoholism, a spiritual malady that needs a spiritual answer. And if you're new or use or any of these things that I've talked about for the last four weeks seems like to me are interested in you and you're not getting this joy and happiness and alcoholics anonymous maybe you ought to examine us again I tell you one more story in this they're all true stories but they're stories i had a guy i sponsored one time was a painter and he was a grumpy old guy he he was always getting into one jackpot or not you know he just i just loved him to death he was just all cranky he's one of them everybody knows one of these type of guys he never got nothing good to say about anything they come up to me one day and he said i'm tired of talking to you he said i want you to take me down and see chuck up. I said, okay, so I called Papa. I say, hey, Pop, we got a guy up here who don't want to talk to me no more. Will you talk to him? He says, oh yeah, bring him down. We're sitting in the old man's house. We were up on a mountain looking out at the ocean and I told him go ahead Lou, give it to him. Lou ran this stuff for about 30 minutes and Papa just sat there listening and sucked his coffee. When he got all through, he looked at Lou and he said said to Lou very simply, son, have you ever been completely and totally happy in Alcoholics Anonymous? You know, Lou said, yeah, without a doubt. Why? He said, don't you think that's worth investigating again? So if you're sitting in this meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous and you're slipping out the door whether you know it or not, and you're slacking off on your commitments and your priorities have been rearranged where everything has become more important than the newcomer in Alcoholics Anonymous. My message to you is, and I love you with all the love in my heart, this is really true. If you've ever been completely and totally happy in Alcoholic Anonymous, don't you think that's worth investigating again? Thank you very much. Thank you.