Joe H. at the Big Book Workshop – 2004

to it. I would love if we could, you know, just start on the title page and go through each page together with our time constraints. It's a little hard. I'm not going to bore you with my drunk log, but I will say this. I drank enough alcohol and I caused enough harm, and I destroyed myself enough to where I was pretty much ready to do this work when I got here. It took me six months to hit bottom with the second half of Step 1, which we'll get to. I had no doubts from the day I got her until today that where alcohol is concerned I don't have any control. That's never a bad thing to review because more can be revealed or it can be seen at a deeper level. I am not an alcoholic who was successful doing 1 through 9 once and trying to live the rest of my life in 10, 11, and 12. It's not just because I come from that school. I could have bailed on this work a long time ago because I moved from where I got sober when I was 5 years sober. it just seems that about every so often and now it's at a point where I do it intuitively I suffer from a phenomenon that isn't talked about a lot and that's whether you want to call it the dry drunk syndrome or the reconstruction of the ego and the doctor you want a reference to find out about that is Dr. Harry Thiebaud I do come from a lineage where they knew him My great-grand sponsor is Paul Martin in Chicago, who's I think coming up on 60 years sober and was brought in by Dr. Bob. He sponsors a man named Gary Brown who lives in Indianapolis now, who is my sponsor's sponsor. And Gary also got sober in Denver. And my sponsor is a man named Don Pritz in Denver. I'm proud to come from that lineage, but there's great responsibility, and I think it's the same responsibility for all of us. But if one looks at it as a regular kind of responsibility that just might help a little bit, and it's not about life and death, then the responsibility becomes something much different. At the root of all this, it's about life and death for me. And the sad thing is I can't do anything about either one. I failed at both. We're not just failures at living, we're failures at dying. We were the ones that are still here. If anyone in this room was a failure at dying, we wouldn't be here this morning. And to see that you're a failure of both because of lack of power, not just because you're a bad person. We're not bad people. We have a disease that centers in lack of power. I wanted to talk about things I've watched over the years just for a minute that I think precede Step 1, because some of us had long periods of time before we were exposed to the first step in this book. Me, I made it six months, I was ready to kill myself. And I'd had a great six months in AA. I was going to meetings, I was making friends, I loved the fellowship. I didn't know what I was yet so I was gone to NA, I went to AA, there was no CA in Colorado then. I got sober August 17th 1982 and I think it was the perfect place for me. I think most anywhere else or some of the other messages that a lot of us have been exposed to would not have worked for me in that place I reached at six months. And it was a different kind of place because everything out here was better. So what I'd like to talk about, one of the things that I've seen over the years is I think if there is a step one, there must be a step zero. And I like the analogy because it's a zero. I believe that step zero is that period of time from your last drink until you give yourself to the recovery process outlined in this book. It could be a four-year period, it could be a year, it would be nine months. I've seen people 26 years before they were driven to a place where they had no other alternative. And I like the idea of the zeroes because for me step zero is that period of time from your last drink until you give yourself or you surrender to this process where you're going around and around and around and might not even be awake to it, eliminating any other alternatives but the two to be ready to do what's in here. There's always a third alternative. Well, I could die an alcoholic death or I could live on a spiritual basis or I would die or I couldn't get the right girlfriend. And as long as there's a third alternative, who in the world would give themselves to this process if they had any idea what it was going to entail if there was a third alternative. Then you go through a couple of girlfriends and it's die an alcoholic death, live on a spiritual basis or get the right job or the right amount of money or you know and it is just an endless circle. It is just a big zero eliminating alternative after alternative. If you make it through step zero which is the roughest step it is much rougher than step nine it's a horrible step and I don't think you can move from step zero to step one if there's any choice or alternative left the chapter to the wives which I'd kind of like to use as a reference in that chapter they're described four types of alcoholics for me the judgment and the debate and what I used to say isn't necessary anymore, the book does it really well I had just not looked at that chapter for a long time. You don't have a wife, you don't read the chapter to the wives. That's the kind of alcoholic mind I have. You've been around for a while, you can't believe you could ever be an agnostic again so why read the Chapter to the Agnostic with 15 years of sobriety because now you're a big-time believer. What I didn't know is that there could be a lot of beneficial stuff in the Chapter to the Wives, the employer, the family afterward, a vision for you and there can be agnesticism after however many years of sobriety I've had. Pieces of agnosticism that are blocking me from a deeper experience with the presence of God. So step zero, I think we've all been there. I don't think anybody came here day one. I know they used to. There might be a couple exceptions in the room if you were lucky enough like to be 12-step and on day one you were in the work but it's not the typical story. the other thing I wanted to talk about was because it's going to be involved here today if if I'm giving you permission to ask me anything that you would like to ask and you give me permission to ask anything I would like to ask then something takes place in the room that we might not be clear about or be able to feel in the ring if those agreements aren't made And I believe this is also where the work starts. You meet a guy, he's expressed some interest, you might begin to give him some sort of a prayer and some sort of an assignment. But if there isn't this spiritual consent, I like to call it spiritual consent where you have given him permission. I told this to a lady once who had been in a group in Los Angeles for 17 or 18 years. I just simply said very casually, you know, if we're going to start this work, You can ask me anything you want. She started crying. I said, what's wrong? She said, in 17 years, no one has ever allowed me to do that. And then vice versa. I'm going to ask you, because I've got some questions here in a minute. Some places there are important questions. Here I think we're probably going to just look at a few about current myths in Alcoholics Anonymous. myths that keep one kept me in ignorance so we have this consent is there anybody in the room today that doesn't want to join in that consent that I may ask whatever I'd like and that you may ask whatever you like anybody that doesn'T want to participate in that great another thing I wanted to mention is I believe there's a different morality in Alcoholics Anonymous than the morality that you and I are used to the kind of morality I'm used to is good and bad, right and wrong. This is right, this is wrong, and all that does, and it can continue in AA, all it does is justify and solidify my judgments. I would like to present to you an idea that there is another type of morality that I never knew about beyond good and bed and right and wrong and that is simply, is it working for you? that takes all the judgment out of it you meet a guy you say a few things you have a little conversation and if he says hey everything's great there's not much you can do you see i think when the chapter working with others says if he cannot or will not accept what you have to offer let it go because you might even spoil a later chance i think that just means if he doesn't want or need what you and I have to offer in kind of a negative way, just like denial or resistance. I also know that that includes people who could be delusion, it could be true, are in such a great place, I don't really need to do this work right now. My life is really great, so don't think that consideration isn't just for, it's for people on both ends of the disease. I've met guys in such delusion they just said everything's really fabulous my life's going really great I'm loving AA a week later you hear they go home and they blow their head off because for some reason they haven't reached that place where they're going to give you the same thing you're going to give them I believe there's a and sometimes I've taken it for granted that there isn't a commitment for the I don't like to use the term but for the sponsor as much as the sponsee it's a big commitment unless you're just collecting numbers so you can say how many people you're working with. It's a big commitment for both parties. I mean, my God, we're going to go to hell together. It's not my favorite thing to do is to always be in step one with somebody because I go there with them. How can you not if it's coming from your heart? And then you do it and you go there and you're willing to go there into that place to show them there's something on the other side. so we have this consent we're going to look at a different kind of morality today let's get free of the judgment we have for people who don't do their work or aren't into it the way we think they should God bless them you know how I got free of this and that used to be a big judgment for me we were talking about it yesterday how many times I've had to write inventory about people that aren't doing what I want them to in Alcoholics Anonymous especially those people that aren'tdoing the work the way I think they should. The way I got free of that was the last time I had to write about it. It'll come up again. It will come up again, but I'd been free from it for quite a while from one piece of inventory and I wrote, I resent those people that don't need to do the work. Went through the third column, saw these beliefs that are all screwed up, got into the fourth column and what I saw was, is because I'd like to be a person that doesn't have to do the work it's really jealousy it wasn't even resentment you know until you get on the other side of amends and then you're really really really grateful that you're a person desperate enough to need the program the whole program and when i say the program keep in mind i'm not talking about fellow just fellowship because i think there's people in this room myself included that not drinking and going to meetings didn't treat their alcoholism but you're looking around the fellowship, and there's people who appear I don't know if they're telling the truth or not. Some of them must be telling the truth that just not drinking and joining the fellowship was all they ever needed. And for me, there's nothing worse than feeling out of place in the last place you had to go by people that don't really need it, and we get distracted by their experience. Rather than going crazy on questions about them, bring the question to yourself. Do I need to do this work? Do I have a choice in the matter. Do I have any other alternatives but to die an alcoholic death or live on a spiritual basis? Knowing that dying an alcoholic death doesn't always mean you have to go back to the bar. You can die an alcoholic deaf right here in Alcoholics Anonymous. We've certainly seen that. So we can get past our own judgments today with prayer and new ideas, that the morality we're going to look at in relation to this work is is it working? is it working for you because I'll tell you I wouldn't be here today if every time I've given myself to this process revolutionary changes didn't win on I wouldn' t be here and I wouldn''t be here talking about some great revolutionary experience from 22 years ago I'm here because I was amazed by this work the last time I started it and where it brought me to where I am now than I've ever been and that's happened every time I would love to say to you I've done the work perfect every time? I haven't. That's when you see the grace. Look for the grace in your mistakes. Look forthe grace that you're still sober when you balk. Look forthegraceinthemiddleofyouramendslist, not in your great accomplishments. But the first time I started the work, I didn't get through amends. I got through about 250 amends and rested on my laurels and my whole life was changed and I was hired to do a job nobody would have had me around their children a year and a half earlier. Yeah, there was a major change. It's promised in our book that halfway through the ninth step you'll be amazed. And I was amazed. My family was amazed the first time my mother heard me speak halfway through amends in Battle Creek, Michigan, in my hometown. She looked at me and said, You're not even the same person. But I stopped. I didn't have a strong enough first step to get through nine. And that's going to be a major point today. if the first step isn't stronger in nine than it was in one and one through eight has taken you further away from one it'll die out because you'll lose your motivation you won't remember that you're making amends because you're powerless over alcohol and that your life's on the line and they try to remind you remember it was agreed at the beginning to go to any length for victory over alcohol It's a subtle foe, the insanity. They try to warn us at different points. I hit the wall quickly after that attempt in step nine. And what I saw was that I hadn't really completed eight. I had not become willing to make amends to them all. And I hadn'T completed eight because I wasn't really clear on seven. And I wasn'T really humble enough in six and blah-de-blah-dee-bluh Because by nine and a half, I wasn't really still convinced that I was powerless over alcohol. You can go forward through the steps, but I'll tell you, if you're not moving on, they will take you backwards. And wherever you are now that you're balking, if it's four, if your stuck in an inventory now, you're struggling with ten and eleven, you don't want to do Upon Awakening, you don' t want to the Evening Review, you're no really excited about working with others, It's not because of the step you're on. It's because of The Linchpin. It's Because of The Connecting Point that I'm powerless over alcohol, and I can't keep myself sober. That fades because of the phenomena that Harry Thiebaud told us about. The ego is a marvelous organ. It rebuilds, reconstructs itself. It's like one of those animals that you cut the tail off and it grows back. So I wanted to talk about that morality, and I wanted TO talk about the first assignment that I would give somebody if you and I just met. And this would pretty much be if I just meet you, you've been doing the work for 30 years, you've through it umpteen times, or if we just met and you're brand new in the program, or if you just met, you'd been around for a while but you haven't done any work, This would be most anybody that I meet. The first thing I like to do, you know, whatever, however the connection comes about, we talk a little bit, blah, blah. I heard you share, blah blah. And we would talk about if you're going to agree, because I believe after spiritual consent comes agreement. You see, we hear about some principles sometime, and I don't really like when somebody already takes the short version of the steps and puts one word on it? Step one, honesty. Are you kidding me? You're going to start someone in step one and tell them they have the power to be honest? They can't even tell the difference between the true and the false. And you're going say, the principle for step one is honesty. The principle for step one is insanity. You can't differentiate the true from the false your best thinking got you here but I think there's a there's principle in step one that's not talked about a lot Admission. The power of admission. Remember how some of you, and you've all heard these experiences that people have had, just raising their hand for the first time and saying, my name's Joe and I'm an alcoholic. Some people have a tremendous experience just that day one, when the first thing they said that. So I believe, and we could look at it, we don't have the time today, but you can look in relation to every single step involves the principle of admission, but especially in this first step and the guy that took me through the first time said don't just look at admission I think of admission as me telling you what I think is the truth you know admitting also look at the idea that it also means to let in what does it say on your theater ticket when you go in the movies admit one that's really what we want to do in step one right and we don't need to admit something to let God in If you're an alcoholic, and you're sober, and you're starting the work, you're in the grace of God whether you know it or not, or whether you like it or not, unless you're keeping yourself sober. And good, that's where it begins. That's where the first step begins. But here's the assignment that I usually give somebody, because if they're going to agree to do this work, shouldn't they have an idea of what that's going to entail? What, you and I meet, and you're supposed to just submit yourself to some process you hear these goofballs talking about and weird the process, I'm in the work ooh what's that they should have an idea whether they've been around 20 years or 50 years or 5 days you don't know what the work is going to entail this time just because you've asked me if you're asking me to do the work thinking it's going to be the same as the last guy you did it with or that the experience is going to be same as last time where are you going to go? Just rehash old information or do you really want to have a new experience and an open mind whether it's day one or you've been around for a long time so the assignment is let them have an idea what it's they're going to be asked to do so simply ask them to read from the title page to page 164 don't worry oh am i giving him the right thing that's going to keep him sober do i have the right plan for them then you're in delusion see you know i've known and i killed a guy that i i I didn't kill a guy. I blew a guy's mind in New York that I've been sponsoring for years when he's going on about these people he works with who just can't, or they just don't seem to. And I said, Larry, you've got a really clear first step for yourself, but do you have a first step für the people you're working with? See, we can forget for them just as well as we can forgive ourselves and start thinking there's something they can do. Maybe there's absolutely nothing I can do to stay sober, but there must be something this poor new person can do. So you want to give them just the right thing? It's pretty simple. Either God has removed the obsession or he hasn't. Don't worry. Read the first 164 pages and don't answer these four questions. Nothing worse than telling another alcoholic, and don'T answer these questions because the inclination is to answer them right away. But I will tell you this, here's another thing. Just like the morality thing, let's get past the morality of he's right, he's wrong, he's trying to tell me this is the only way. I'm not telling you what I'm sharing with you today is the Only Way, but I can only share with you what's been shared with me and the experience I've had. It's not Joe Hawk's way of working the steps. People will come up to me and say, oh, I love your unique new way of Working the Steps. I don't have a way of working the steps. We start on the title page and we go through the first 164 pages, and you take your life and you throw it up in the air because you don't know how it's going to go. But the new person or the person that's been around or whoever it is that's asking me, they should have an idea of what we're agreeing to. Read the first164 pages and look at these four questions or five questions sometimes each time you sit down to read. But don't answer them right away. And if you can learn or if you can experience right at the beginning, the difference between answering a question and considering a question, it'll make all the difference in the next several assignments. Now what do you mean by that? Okay, the first question is is this work what I want to do? How can you answer that if you're just reading every day and you don't even know what it is you're going to agree to? Do I want to do this work? Answer the questions when you've experience them at a gut level and then you're just putting down the answer that's already come to you. Don't look to do the answers up here. These questions in this assignment and the first three steps, these questions are not meant to be answered. They're meant to be experienced. They're ment to be experienced It's like contemplation or a Zen koan or Christian contemplation The question is not meant to been answered. You take the line the word, the phrase, the question you bring it to your heart and you let it because see my big book says that I need to fully concede to my innermost self that I'm alcoholic not it doesn't say you need to figure out in your mind until you really understand that you're alcoholic that's the difference between the short form of step one and how much most everyone in this room knows that there is to step one in depth see this book has the short version of step 1 and the long version of Step 1 and the short version of Tradition 1 and the Long Version of Traditon 1. The short version is in how it works. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, fill in the blank, and that our lives had become unmanageable. That's what I thought the dash was. But the long form takes 43 plus the doctor's opinion plus a few pages in We Agnostic we're talking almost 60 pages out of 88 the first 11 steps are on 88 pages 60 of those pages are devoted to one step that tells me step 1 is pretty important, we're going to use everything from the doctor's opinion to 3 or 4 pages in We Agnostic, that's a lot of material to look at step 1, that still long for me, you go through that and you can fully concede you read it off the wall, all you're going to be able to do is conclude. I'd like you to experience the difference between concluding and experiencing or knowledge and experience or more information. No one in this room needs any more information? Most of you don't even need any more informa tion about this book. And some of you are dying because you think you know about the information in this book and I've been there. Carlos Castaneda wrote about it, The Trap of Knowledge. So the umpteenth time, 21 years sober, been doing the work since I was six months dry. Can I get past what I think I know? So start the assignment. Read 1 through 164. Look at these four or five questions and start a prayer in your own words, in your only way, from your own heart. Dear God, please set aside what I know so that I can have an open mind and a new experience. It's simply a prayer that was given to me. Don doesn't like it that we've ritualized it or that it's in a workbook called the set-aside prayer. It should be in your own way. It should been your own words, and it should be from your heart. It shouldn't be memorized or written down. Each time you sit down or any time during the day during these first three steps, use a prayer. Just ask for an open mind and a new experience if you want to get past what you think you know. Some of my friends take that prayer and they change it into, dear God, please help me set aside everything I think I know. That's not what I'm going to ask because if I'm the judge and the jury to set aside what I think I know, I'm gonna end up back where I started the prayer. I'm gonna ask God, let me have an open mind and a new experience, but I'm not the one that's gonna create that. I'm asking God for an open minded and new experience. Question one, is this work what I want to do? My friend Don Coyas, the Native American guy He says to me that for any alcoholic, whether new, old, or in between, when you answer that question, is this work what you want to do, it involves the ego to whatever degree it's rebuilt in the process, and it'll think it has something to do with deciding, and it will go along with you much easier than if you don't decide, is this worked what I want to be. So is this worth what I'm doing? Is this what I do? Am I willing to go to any length to do this work? You're reading any length in 1 through 164, because I'm not going to ask anybody I work with to do something that I haven't or that's not in this book. But we'll come back to that in a minute. The next question, why do you want to do this work? That's important to know from the very beginning because what if you spend six months and then they say to you, all I wanted was my husband back and you've gone through all this time. It's good to know from the beginning why do I want to work? Why do you do this? And I think if it doesn't have something to do with life and death, you might want to reconsider working with that person. Or if it doesn't have something to do with life and death at least by the time they're done with step one. But find out why. And then I always ask why me? Because with the lunatics I get by the first time they leave my house the first I'm saying that to myself anyway. Why me? And then some people if you think it would be helpful I ask them another question and that is what areas of your life are you being dishonest with yourself or others, and just see how honest they can get at that time. And then you can make fun of what they shared with you when they're finally done with inventory because it won't bear any resemblance to what they thought they were being dishonested about when they started. But it's a good exercise. So is this work what you want to do? Willing to go to any length, which is what they're reading in 1 through 164. why do you want to do this work and are there any areas in your life where you're being dishonest with yourself or others don't answer the questions we're so conditioned from early childhood whoever gets their hand up first to answer is the best this, and I'll present you with this idea any one of these questions because see all the first three steps are considerations and then a prayer at the end. I'll present you with this idea. If you answer the question, you've stopped any more experience you can have with it. Answers stop the experience from going any deeper because once you know, you know and that's it. It's not going to go any deeper. So don't answer the quiz. Get in the habit of considering the question and get in the habits of trying to learn the difference between coming up with an answer or letting an answer come to you through experience. You can have a first-step experience no matter how long you're sober because it's just the truth about where am I with alcohol. So I give them that assignment and they start to read and I'll ask them to focus on the four types in the chapter to their wives and begin to ask themselves, but a lot of other places too, am I a real alcoholic? Do they have confusion about drug addiction, alcoholism, both? Is there a difference? It's really a debate we probably don't have enough time for today, but there are differences between drug addiction and alcoholism. And you can answer that simply by saying this. Everyone in this room knows Alkies who can take or leave drugs. If they're all the same, then wouldn't every alcoholic be an addict and wouldn't every addict be an alcoholic? And they're only different in respect to being clear on your own truth in the first step. We can talk about the spiritual maladies, step 2 through 12, but you're not going to have that common bond that one alcoholic needs with another. One of the mistakes they made in the Forward to the Fourth Edition on the inside cover, I mean on the Inside pages, was that they, I think they're changing it now and I haven't seen the latest one, but you know, in the fourth edition that I got in 2000, they said that a meeting online in front of a computer screen was the same as your home group around the corner. Where for me, the basis of alcoholic synonymous is one alcoholic sitting with another looking in each other's eyes. I'm not going to tell the truth if I go online in the front of the computer screen. My name is Joe. I'm a 52-year-old fat guy who smokes cigarettes and I don't drink anymore. they should have said that it's good to get in touch with us or if you're home bound or if your in another country online can be very helpful but to say that it is the same sitting in front of a that's the day that I'm going to blow my head off when it's the same sitting in from of a computer screen as it is looking in your eyes that's today the world ends because it ain't the same as my home group another thing is what's the difference between being in the grace of God and going for a conscious contact night and day I started to work with a guy who hadn't done much in 23 years but he'd been sober and he had a good life and now he was hitting a wall and he was losing it all and he wanted to do the work and he starts this prayer Set aside what I think I know. Please, God, let me have an open mind and a new experience. And he calls me about three weeks later and he said, I have a real problem. I said, What? I actually said, I know you do, but what do you think it is? And he said for 23 years I've been in the grace of God. Undeniably, right? He's alcoholic. If you're sober, you're in the grâce of God unless you're keeping yourself sober. He said, I've seen it in every area of my life. I've felt it. I've sat with it. I've realized it. Why do I need to do this work if I'm in the grace of God? Great question. I said, I don't know. I was ready to blow my head off after six months. You better pray about it. He calls me back about three weeks later and he says, can I come over? I said yeah. He came over and he said, I know why I need to do the work. I said why? He said because I would like to have a conscious contact with that which has been giving me this grace for 26 years. he finished all his amends about a year and a half later from his whole life and his whole sobriety and he said the difference between being in the grace of God and a conscious contact with that which is giving you this grace is like night and day and that's why I do the work you see we don't do the worked to stay sober we do the word because we are sober and if you can use the twelve steps to stay so then there's something you can do to keep yourself sober and you don't have a first step we do the work to get a conscious contact with something that's already keeping us sober and it changes your whole perception it changes the remember those times when you were new and you were busy 100 commitments 17,000 meetings calling people every day because that was your relapse prevention list and if you can prevent your next relapse then how can you be powerless over alcohol if relapse prevention works for you go out there, live your life just don't drink no matter what work on your character defects bring about your own surrenders and smash your ego because those things always seem to go together in that line of thinking I've never seen a guy who can just not drink no mater what who can't smash his own ego I should say I've ever seen a man who just can't drink no matter what who has been able to smash his own ego. But they think they can. You see, there are some people that think they just don't drink no matter What and today they have a choice but all it is is grace. God don't need the credit to give you grace. It's an undeserved gift. It's also given in the same way. God doesn't love people like Dave for what he is. God loves people like David for what God is. God doesn't love people like me for what I am God loves people like me for who it is and it's grace but would you like to have a conscious contact with that it's kind of like if you had a distant uncle lives in New York and you're in California but he's saved your life a hundred times and he sends you everything you need every month my mind would say I'm moving to New York I want to get close to that guy I want him to move in his house so there's a difference between grace and a conscious content don't confuse you're going to use the work to keep yourself sober don't confused you're gonna use the 12 steps to manage your life the way you'd like it to go it's just the opposite you do the 12 Steps to let go of your will run on your life or your life run on your will it's not a do-it-yourself fix-it program to get what you want God'll take you to stuff way beyond anything you want when you start the work. And I think it's also an interesting little joke to play on yourself to make a list of your assets and your liabilities when you started the work because you're going to get to step seven and you're gonna say, damn, the stuff I thought was really good, it was killing me and the stuff that I thought was really bad has saved my ass. You don't know the difference by the time you get to steps seven and that's when you know it's worked. That's why it says the good and the bad. I don't now the difference. And isn't it funny? my list is always here's the things that are good because they make me comfortable and here's the things bad because they made me uncomfortable and you end up with a spiritual life after several years in this program with a philosophy that goes like this if it makes me uncomfortable it's bad if it make me uncomfortable it's good and all you've got turned it into is another drug because while most of us in this room know there's a lot of stuff in this process that doesn't feel good. Alcoholism doesn't care about how you feel, nor does recovery. Nor does God, really. Because when you need it, He'll bring you some stuff that doesn'T really feel good Amends don't always feel good Writing four-column inventory doesn'T always feel great Continuing to do just what feels good is the pattern of addiction that I brought to this program that needs to be broken Are you worshiping God or are you worshipING comfort? the forward to the third edition paper cover I used to throw my paper cover away and I'd cover my book with leather or something because I was ashamed of being sober more than I was being drunk but the book that I got sober on in 1982 which was published in 1976 used to say that the basic text page 1 through 164, is the AA message. And he used to be able to take people to the paper cover when they would ask. You know, nothing like having a newcomer and he goes to his first area assembly or his first service conference, and he comes back and he says, these people were talking about carrying the message, but they're not sure what the message is because everybody in the room had a different opinion about what's the message. Bill Wilson describes service as anything that makes carrying the message possible. Don't dare ask at a service conference then if Bill's definition of service is anything that we do to help carry the message, don't dare Ask at a Service Conference, then what's the message? It's like dropping a bomb in the middle of the room. But you used to be able to take people to the paper cover and say the AA message is page 1 through 164 of this book. This is the program, the program of the steps and the steps aren't suggested. The program of 12 steps is suggested. A lot of people misread that, too. And they'll say to you, you know, how it works says the steps are just suggested. No, it says this 12-step program is suggested but this inside cover of the third edition used to say the basic text, page 1 through 164, remains unchanged This is the AA message, just as it was introduced in 1939. The paper cover to the fourth edition says, the basic text, page 1 through 164, which had been the foundation of recovery for so many alcoholics, remains and still remains unchanged. Now page 1-164 is something that had been. They turned it into a history book. Had been the Foundation. And I've heard some literature since then where they're referring to this book as a foundation text. It's a basic step. This is a basic text which contains the message in the first 164 pages. That's a big stretch from had been the foundation for many. It's almost like they're saying those poor alcoholics that had to do what's in this book. It's Almost Condescending. And they had to change this, too, because of people that care about this message. They've changed it a little bit, but they haven't changed it back to page 1 through 164 is the message. There are some important statistics, and I'm not great on statistics, but you can find them in the forwards, and you'll find that at one time 200,000 books went out and we had 100,000 members. one recovery for every two books and now look at the number of books that have been printed and the number of members worldwide not even in the vicinity there's other statistics in the forwards that say 50% got sober right away, 25% later they had a 75% success rate and that's not even close nowadays we're lucky if it's 15% why? because when the success rate was 75% they brought you to the base of the triangle before they brought you to The Fellowship. They didn't have a lot of meetings to take you to every night. They brought you to recovery before they brought you to The fellowship. There were some groups in there in the beginning where you had to be in the eight step. You had met with somebody, you'd gotten on your knees, you had done some sort of an inventory and you had an amends list before you came to their group because they cared more about the group than they did themselves. That's what the first tradition is all about. we take it for granted now, and then bitch and moan because the message gets watered down by the people we brought to the group that we didn't share the message with. They used to ask two questions. Every 12-step call I heard Bill and Bob went on that I've read, they would ask, do you want to quit drinking for good and all? They didn't say, are you willing to quit drinking one day at a time? That slogan, one day to time, isn't about drinking. It's about, are you ready to quit drinking for good in all and live life one day at a time. We live life one day a time, I don't ever want to drink again. Now can I do anything about that? That's where we start. Can I make up my mind? I'm just never going to drink it again. Can I just not drink no matter what? No, but do I want to quit? Do I want, would I like to quit drinking for good and all and live my life one day of time? And that's what those guys would ask. It's also sad that because of irresponsibility and not wanting to get involved in controversy, their responsibility of not re-upping the copyright, that we lost the circle and triangle somewhere during the third edition because the copyright ran out and the trinket salesmen that were making money off it kept it. And we didn't want to get in trouble. We didn't get involved with controversy to fight that because I've got to tell you, the day that I went to Don's house, six months sober, ready to die because the unmanageability caught up with me, the internal condition, the unMANAGEABILITY of my life which is internal with everything better out here after six months in AA caught up to me and I went to his house. I found out from the circle and the triangle I wasn't even in AA because he talked to me about a three-part program, unity, recovery, and service. He talked to be about where you find unity right here in the fellowship and that they have 12 traditions It's sad in Los Angeles when I hear it in the written formats of meetings. The traditions are to the group what the steps are to the individual. That tells a selfish guy like me, don't worry about the tradition. That's for those people. The steps are for me because I'm selfish. And it's a selfish program. This is not a selfish program. This is a selfless program for really selfish people. My sponsor told me there's as many principles in the 12 traditions that you can practice as an individual whenever you're dealing with more than one person which is what we're supposed to start to do in business and family and in the fellowship wherever as there are in the 12 steps but you need to do the 12 stops to get the power to practice the principles what do you think they mean at the end of the 12 step and practice these principles in all our affairs they don't just mean the ones they've just covered they mean those The steps are principles, zillions of principles in the 12 steps, but they also give you some more principles after the steps in the 12 traditions as in the twelve concepts. So it's a three-part program with 36 spiritual principles and a part of the program for each part of my disease. We've heard it before. Bring the body, the mind will follow. That's the sad thing. That's not a great statement of hope. I wish you could bring the body and the mind would just go away. To this day, I still see signs that say self-storage and I really wish that I could. It's not a great promise. Bring the body and the mind will follow. You bring your body to the fellowship, the mind Will Follow and it will need to be treated. It will scream out to be treated.It will follow you wherever you go for all the days of your life. And that mind either gets treated or it doesn't and you bring the mind to the recovery process and you bring your awakened spirit out into the world and back into the program in a circle to be of service. I see a three part program for a three part disease with 36 spiritual principles that you can use as an individual once you get some power to practice them and that's the promise of the 12th step you will be able to practice these principles in all your affairs. The circle and the triangle saved my life because that's the day I saw after six months thinking I was in AA I was one third of a three part program expecting the results of the other two parts and all I was was a member of the fellowship and that not drinking and going to meetings brought me to my knees not drinking and going to meeting didn't treat my alcoholism I believe alcoholism is what you're left with after the booze and the drugs are out of your system. It's what starts to come to the surface after 60 days or 90 days or however long this period of step zero lasts. It'll come to The Surface. So the circle and the triangle were extremely valuable. The table of contents were important. Let whoever is taking you through the work show you that the first part of the book is great general information about our program and that step one is going to start at the doctor's opinion. And we're going to look at The craving up to page 23. And we're going to look at the obsession up to page 43. And we are going to look at the spiritual malady on 44, 45 and 52. We are going to look at step 2 in the chapter to the agnostic. We are going to look at 3 through 4. We are going to look at steps 3 and 4 in how it works. 5 through 11 into action. And step 12 in the rest of the chapters. Working with others is the first part of step 12 and practicing these principles in those other chapters. It's good to know that. A lot of people don't know it's pretty simple once you get to step 3. It says now we're at step 3 so doesn't it make sense when it says now you're at steps 3 that everything up to where it says now we are at step 3 is steps 1 and 2 it's very simple and then they give you a paragraph that explains that the description of the alcoholic The chapter to the agnostic and your own adventures, drunk or sober, have made clear these three pertinent ideas. Everything up to the ABCs is steps one and two. It was good to know that because a lot of people didn't know that. Where do you find steps one und two? I don't know. We start at the third step in our group. We assume they're alcoholic because they're here. Ooh, that's deadly, huh? If you're here, you've taken the first three steps. Ooh. and the first three steps are I can't, he can so I think I'll let him what could be more arrogant than to say I'm going to let God that which brought you into the world that's what gives you the next breath you're going to let God if you can let God into your life you've got more power than he does because he's already there you're gonna let down your delusions a lot of important stuff in those things if you want to do a funny thing we did at this book study in Dallas look at some of the words that stick out to you in the little descriptions of the stories that are new. You'll find that the fourth edition is reflective of the current state, whatever that current state might be. They use some really interesting words in those little blurbs. And it's also good to read to somebody that doesn't know that the main purpose of this book is to show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered. You'll see some great statistics in the growth of the fellowship and then the forward to the third, the forward to the fourth, and then you'll start step one. And at some point, like when you get through there, you should sit with them and ask them the answer that has come to them to those questions and then You as the sponsor need to decide just as much as they do. Okay. Let's take a break for 15 minutes. Thanks. Thank you.