The Three Legacies – 3 Legacies Workshop – Part 2 of 2 – Debbie H.

Hi everybody, my name is Debbie Davis and I'm an alcoholic. Thanks for being here this morning. Mary's kind of already heard my talk before on this and I am glad that y'all are here on Sunday morning. Whenever I am asked to do anything in Alcoholics Anonymous on a Saturday morning or a Sunday morning, the very first thing that comes to my mind is how sick I used to be. how the hangover was so violent and, you know, where is that bottle? Where is that beer to kind of just bring me all back in together again? And, you Know, I'm so grateful I don't have to wake up that way anymore. And so it's nice to be, have a little breakfast on board and bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and ready to talk about the concepts. I mean, the three legacies, one of them being the concepts when I was asked what I'd like to talk about I just jumped at the opportunity to talk abut the three legacies because they really have a very powerful spot in my heart they're all necessary and I read a story years ago when Iwas living in Long Beach there were little news bulletins called the Harbor Light and in there was the story about the stools. And I know I'm very, I learn better if I have a visual and so that's why I did up these little things. But on the very back side is the story of the stool. And just to quickly read it to you, there's a story that's been around AA for years. It seems that a young man had just made his first year of sobriety and had gone to sponsor a dairy farmer to complain about the behaviors of members of his home group. He fretted that they wasted valuable meeting time with useless discussions of traditions and wouldn't have the audacity to talk about concepts, whatever they might be. How can I convince them, he said to his sponsor, to concentrate on the only important thing, recovery? Well, his sponsor said not a word but simply led the young man to the milking barn. He picked up a three-legged milking stool and removed two of the legs. Here, he says to his sponsee, sit on this. But I'll fall off, whined the young man. Yep, said his sponsor, and sure enough he fell off. The sponsor replaced one of the legs, sit on it. He said, this time the youngman stayed on the stool, albeit somewhat precariously. The sponsor then replaced the third leg and had his sponsee sit once again. At last he had a solid perch. The three legs of that stool, explained the sponsor, like the three legacies handed down to us by the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous. All three legacies, recovery with the 12 steps, unity with the 12 traditions and service with the twelve concepts are necessary if we're going to sit comfortably. The next time pay attention or someone discusses the traditions or concepts, pay attention. And so that's a wonderful visual again for me that I need all three. I don't know that in my first week of sobriety or even in my last year of sobrietty there was an ability to make a comprehension of it. But I know that with the women I sponsor, my commitment to them is that we will go through all three legacies. I want them to know the fullness and the richness of this program instead of just the recovery. It starts there. And so this is where we're going to begin is with the legacy of recovery, the basis of the triangle. In 1954, I do have notes because this is kind of a condensed subject and we're talking about three of them in a way. I mean, I can talk an hour and a half on all three of these separate subjects, but you guys only get snippets, so don't worry about that. We won't be here for days. Bill, in 1954, called our structure in society the AA Cathedral of Spirit. That's the diagram. This is not a conference-approved diagram, just want you to know that. It is a friend of mine, by my words, and of course he's also an NAA, he sketched this out as the visual of what our structure is, this cathedral of spirit. Bill described the structure as the 12 steps are what we stand on with a floor that is ever-expanding to include all who come here. And so we put 12 steps to lead to this floor, which doesn't have an end. And then he said the 12 traditions are the buttresses of insurance that our walls won't fall. And you see on there, he put 12 columns. And Bill said in the 12 concepts are the spire of service, creating a beacon to shine throughout the world for all to see and that may its symbolic finger continue to point straight upward, upward toward God. And thus we have the spire with our little logo on the top. We have a structure that's all open and welcoming, but all parts are needed. And so we're going to start with the steps. Bill says that the 12 steps are a group of principles, spiritual in their nature which if practiced as a way of life can expel the obsession to drink and enable the sufferer to become happily and usefully whole in A.E. Comes of Age a favorite part of mine is where he describes the night he wrote The Twelve Steps and basically what he did is he expounded upon six precepts six loose guidelines from the Oxford group. And he expanded on them because he says, we've got to close up any of these loopholes that the alcoholic will be trying to finagle out of. I think he did a great job in closing those loophols because I have a very clear set of instructions with the 12 steps of how, which is what our book is about it says, and what these steps are to do is enable me to find a power greater than myself and to develop that relationship. And I take 11 steps and the 12th is as the result of these steps. I have that spiritual experience, the spiritual awakening, the connection and relationship development with my God. Some people take the steps, some people work them. just do them. I don't care what you want to call them, just do them. That's what's the important part. Personally the way I speak of it is I take the steps and I practice their principles because to me that was the wording they used in our big book. Here are the steps we took which are suggested as a program of recovery and when I take each step my hope is to incorporate that into my life and that I continue to practice their principle and their point in all of my affairs using step 12. And so I have officially as I like to think taken the steps three times. The first time was in new sobriety, and I say that loosely because in a treatment center I took one through five because I had to and if I wanted to get out. So I was inspired to do the first five. And I looked at six and seven as kind of and then exhale, two paragraphs, yep, yep. And then eight, you know, get on to making a men's business and then try and keep my day clean. And then 11, see through God what you want me to do today and then practice these principles. You know, it was just loosely taken into my life. When I had, when I was at 6.9 years of sobriety and had that meltdown of one more time running my life is not working well at all. I took the steps again, but this time I took them out of the 12 and 12th. And they felt new. They looked new. There was just this resurgence of energy. It just really, the commitment to Alcoholics Anonymous had been made and when I took those steps, it put the stamp on it. And then the third time that I sat down, focusedly took these steps was 27 years sober. Now, in between all of those years, every time I walked through one-on-one with somebody of the steps in a way, I am taking them again with that person. I'm sharing my experience, my take on it, my whatever. So there was always this participation in the taking of the steps every time I took someone through it one-on-one. And again, personally, I've chosen to do that. I know it's easier sometimes to do it in a group setting because that way you get more experiences, but so far this has worked really well for me and I really like that connection I get with that person that way. and I find them to be more open because we have more time to relate that way. That third time of taking the steps had been post that six months of the physical craving I talked about when I was 26 plus years sober and when I came through that, I knew that I wanted to, I had some things bothering me that I just couldn't seem to shake No matter what I did, I just looked at it. I really need to take another inventory and focus on a couple of these things. So anyway, those have been the three times that I have officially in my mind taken them as they're written to the best of my ability. So just to summarize these as they've had the impact on my life. In the first step, over and over andover again, it is necessary for me and I ask I'm reminded of this every morning in my prayers that I am powerless over alcohol and until I admitted that to myself which was the first time was that February 7th that night after I smoked that last joint which to that day to this moment is my I have not taken anything mood altering my sobriety date is February 8th 1976 that was the 1st time that I admitted to my innermost self at two inches behind my belly button spot that I am an alcoholic. Even though the last alteration was used in pot, to me it was the finale. And until I had gotten there, all this information was useless. And what I also knew was that would be the bottom which would begin the launch, which would begin the recovery. And I also know that from step one that just because I stopped drinking, my life doesn't become manageable. I had an and for the hyphen and that my life had become unmanageable. No, they really are two separate thoughts. That doesn't mean that I don't have a responsibility to set my alarm clock or show up to places on time. Oh, well, it's just unmanangeable. No, and that kind of goes along with no matter what my bad behavior is, I hear the excuse, well, I'm an alcoholic. What do you expect? Well, if you're asking me, I expect you to do better. Because you're an alcoholic, you have some awesome tools to become better, to set a better example, to do besser in your life if you want to. But don't use your alcoholism as an excuse for your self-centered, self-serving bad behavior. That's on me. You can do what you want to do. So I have to practice things that are within my reach of being able to be manageable and responsible and accountable. But I also have to remain fluid in my life. Things don't always go according to my schedule and I'm somebody who plans and schedules. Clearly yesterday was a great example of that with the airlines. They weren't on the same schedule as I was. In the second step, I would slowly come to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity and you became that power greater Than Myself initially because the trouble I had with was with the word sanity. and that I'm not insane. I just like to get drunk and have fun. Everybody gets in trouble. You know, it's not a big deal. But what I didn't know until I was two and a half years sober, even though I had a relationship with the God in my life, I did not know that definition of insanity. And I know you've all heard it, but just in case somebody hasn't, it changed a lot of things in my Life. And that was insanity's definition is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results. And when I heard that at Two and a Half Years Sober, I knew exactly then what sanity and insanity meant. And my new definition of sanity became, so you people are going to show me how to do new actions and thereby get new results. And I came to believe that you, a sponsor in this program, will continue to show us how to achieve that. And the third step, we have a prayer in our book which I say every morning. And that's why when I look at that phone and it is not a convenient call, I'm reminded of what I said this morning. And that is show me how you want me to be of service. You see, if I am turning my will and my life over, I'm turning my thoughts and my actions over to God as well for his usefulness, for his use in being, just having a better life available to me under his care and guidance. And that is something that I choose to do every morning is to say that third step prayer. I made an inventory of myself because I was always able to take your inventory very easily. It was very clear in my mind what your problems were and what your faults were. But I had to put that mirror up and take a look at myself. and we have the visual of the three columns but it's the fourth that we don't have the visual on but the reference to when we look back and see what my part was and part of that is what was my part, what would I, could I, should I have done better because this is where I learn how to take that pause and do something different should something like this or similar come up again so that inventory especially the first one was more autobiographical. The second one, I mean, I'm only about three or four weeks sober when I take that first inventory. I just, I don't even have resentments. I don' t even know what the heck they are. But when they tell me, Who are you angry with? Oh, I've got a list for you. Who do you hate? I've Got a list of people but I didn't understand resentments That word was just way too many syllables but I can tell you who I hate and that was the clarification in the second time I did it there were only three people on that resentment list my father, my stepmother and men just no names just men but of course I saw a very big page on my part and then the third inventory was very interesting there were a few resentments on there about four and thenthe fifth one was myself and what's embarrassing to even say is the fact that the resentment was I hated being human. I hated being human I resented that I could not do things right at all time and that I would hurt people's feelings and that i would do things wrong I hated the fact of being human and not doing it right all the time and yet all of my mistakes become my greatest assets because that makes us all feel with each other, oh good, they did it too so I don't feel like such a big loser. Oh good, I'm glad to know somebody else felt that. I was feeling like I was unique and therefore separating myself from you. And so my inventory became something that for me was just very cleansing in a way. And in five, I admitted to God and to myself and to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs. I was never encouraged, be sure and list all those assets because, you see, I never came out of a blackout doing anything charitable. I didn't ever get in trouble because of kind deeds. So that was not what was to be inventoried. What was to being inventoried was the things and the harms I had caused you and others. So this became, again, that connection with someone else. and when I listen to 5th Steps it's important that they know that this is a safe place to tell whatever it is that I'm not going to feel any different about you when you leave than I do right now. I love you just now as I'm going to whenever we're done. There's nothing you can say I haven't heard, haven't done, haven't thought. There isn't anything new here. We are just simply human beings with experiences and this gives me and them that freedom to get things out that we were going to take to our grave and sets us free when i took my second set of steps the sixth step and seventh became very powerful to me six said even in the very beginning of being goofy and new I loved the opening line of step six in the 12 and 12, which was this is the step that separates the men from the boys. For me, that definition became this is the step I want to grow up. I'm sick and tired of being a three-year-old and emotional making decisions. I wantto grow up, and it's about darn time. It was interesting that it came at that sixth and seventh year of my sobriety. They became probably the most powerful steps in that time for me because I had to look at the things that were causing me and others problems. Usually if they don't cause me problems, I'm sorry, get over it type of attitude. But when I had grow up and say just because they aren't causing me problems doesn't mean I shouldn't do some changing because they are causing others. So what are those that I know about? There will be plenty I don't know about. But what are these that I do know about. And seven says to me, I humbly ask God to remove my shortcomings, but that doesn't mean I don't have a responsibility to take contrary actions to them. My number one defect of character has always been self-righteousness. And I did not realize that for many, many years. I didn't even know what the word meant, although it's pretty self-explanatory. I think I'm right all the time, but I was oblivious to that definition. When I realized that, you know, then I had to take what the contrary action to me is, is shut up. Okay? Just real simple, two words. But when I don't shut up, okay, I don' t get to say, well, I guess God didn' t remove that one today. No. One more time. Oh, I'm an alcoholic. What do you expect? no I don't get to use that I get to say you know what I have really let this you know I have not paid attention to keeping a little lid on this thing why did I think it was so necessary to give unsolicited advice why did i think it's so necessary trying to straighten this person out when they're clueless they were just fine thank you I'm the one who's got the problem I'mtheonewhoneedstostraightenoutwithin not them So seven for me is what are those contrary actions and then asking God not only to help remove those defects of character to make me more useful, which is what the prayer says, not to make be more wonderful, make me spiritual, make me richer, make me this or that. It's simply for one purpose, remove them so I can be more useful. And what I've got to know too is that I don't know what your defects of characters are that need to be removed or that are useful. even though I think they should be removed, you know. That's beside the point. That's your business and God's business together. I just need to put the focus on mine. In eight, we make that list. We don't make the amend yet. We just make the list and get a focus on what is the amend. Years ago, I heard Clint H do a step weekend on the steps, and one of the things he talked about in there which I really liked was he suggested that each person go on like a recipe-sized card, their name and the amend that would be made and that eachperson has their own. And then it's sort of a great way that when you go to make nine and you make that direct amend, that card can be discarded. You're done now. I get that list from that inventory. I know there's sometimes a lot of interesting drama around the inventory, the shredding, the burning, the flames and all the bonfire coming out of it. That's fine but if you do that don't forget to list the defects of six and the people you need to make amends to for eight before you do that because memories can fade. So be sure you've used all that you need to from that inventory before you make any discarding of it, if you do. And then we go and make those direct amends to such people wherever possible. I don't take amends very lightly at all. I don'T want to have to make amends for the amends I make, okay? And I've had to do that on one occasion. I want to be clear, and this is where a sponsor who is not emotionally involved with the situation can see it a lot more clearer than I can. They can give me a lot better guidance. And especially my sponsor, Millie, is so great at reminding me of something very key. She says, honey, don't say blah, blah when blah is enough. Okay? I love to just kind of talk it to death out there. I don't need to do that. every day step 10 to me is as I go through that day I continue to take my own inventory and make amends promptly now I know promptly has varied in timeline the longer I'm sober the shorter it gets that red flag there is no disguising it if I am willing to listen and I cannot continue days with the discomfort and 11 is a prayer all in itself that I seek through prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with you God as I understand you. I pray only for the knowledge of your will for me and the power to carry that out and that's a big order. That's a tall order and I have gotten myself ready to do that and with 12 that having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these prior 11 steps these are the things I get to do I try to carry this message of recovery to other alcoholics here's what I have done I'm not here to tell you how to make an investment or buy a car or start a business or fix your marriage but I'll share with you how I have stayed sober through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous and to practice the principles I've learned in those prior 12 steps in all of my affairs. And this is what we pass on to others. This is our legacy of recovery. Any questions? I'll take questions now on any of that stuff. Question, Bruce Alcoholics. Hi, Bruce. Would you do me at the 8th step in 12 and 12 suggest that we do some analysis about some detailed analysis about what we did with people. Did you do a lot of that or did you really do that? With the inventory, a lot of it came out from there in that inventory. In the first and the second one, there was a lot more of actual harms done. And that is where I gathered it. As far as deep analysis, no, I can't say that I wouldn't call it that, but I certainly use as my source. In this last inventory there weren't I did not do any harms. I just had internal conflict with certain people that I could not get straight. Believe me, I practiced the ultimate best behavior with those people so that I would never have to make amends to them. But I just was in such conflict on the inside. The resentments were really the more internal So in the first two, yes, I did do more in-depth eight-step work. So I don't know if that answers much. Were you able to get to the cost of the conditions? Oh, yeah, yeah. If that's the question you're looking for, what the result was, okay. Okay, I know that with both my father, my mother, my stepmother, those three major key people, the bottom line was they weren't who I wanted them to be. And I find that to be the basis of so many of my resentments. They are not behaving or acting the way I think they should, could, ought to. all, again, self-determined how they should be. And that was a great awareness. With the men, because it was just a big conglomerate, it was more the thing of my behavior is totally out of line, inappropriate, selfish, self‑centered, self­serving. and it was so shallow and again, all self-serving and that's what I realized with that and that I had to begin to do things differently. Okay, thank you. There was another? Okay, I want to get into the traditions too. We'll have extra time for questions. Hi Curtis, I'm Apollo. Hi Curtis. Did you ever have an experience with self-reliance conflicting with non-reiliance. Do you just get further steeped into 10, 11, and 12? Do you go back to seven? So with character defects, do you go way back to step one, two, or three and look at that? Step three talks a lot about self-propulsion. Makes the statement, the phrasing, self-population. Most alcoholics live by self-repulsion. And for me, that means that I am trying to do the whole thing. I have worked very hard to really keep my focus on everything is in divine order, and if I align my actions in a God-like way, if I line them trying to stay on spiritual progress, what would you have me do in this situation? What would my sponsor do in this situation, if I can do that getting out of self, what would be the kind and loving action? I don't have as many opportunities to do the self-reliance. That doesn't mean, again, I don'T have to take responsibility for things. But I really know my source of strength comes from God. And it doesn't take much to veer off. That's why I have to keep that steady connection. And when I feel kind of a drought, you know what? That's natural. I just keep focused and don't take it to an extreme where I'll never get connected again. You're a real drama queen about stuff like that. But bring it right back to, no, this is just a day. It's just an off day. It's all right. That doesn't mean I have to take bizarre actions to prove it. So I really daily make that maintenance, that focus on that spiritual condition. And I find if I have a pause in front of, well, I want to do this. Well, yeah, okay, but is that really... Are you going to regret it in five minutes? Am I going to forget it? Am I not going to be able to regret my actions and wish I had done something different? So I just work very hard each day, not the rest of my life, just today on keeping that focus with a connection with power, prayer and myself. Is that the answer? Okay. And one more. Okay. The traditions are our second legacy of unity. And my first home group was called the 12 and 12 and we studied the traditions as well as the steps at the same time. And it gave me a fabulous just an incorporation into my life of, you know, I didn't really know how to get along with other people. And this was the legacy that helped me to get alone as a citizen of the world, citizen in life, just be present in life. I don't have to be a big deal and I'm not a little deal, I'm just one among many and I didn't know how to be that. These are the tools that incorporated that. Bill said that he was not the author of the traditions, but that he had merely mirrored principles which had already been hammered out on thousands of anvils of AA experience. He said the traditions have to do with our relation toward one another, one another within the group, the group within AA as a whole and our society to mankind, and that this would help us to live and to work together. Now I know I've heard it said that the traditions are to the group and they were never really designed to apply it in my personal life as we've come to speak, and I know that I certainly have. And that's true technically. But I have found no better source of tools than the 12 Traditions to learn how to live with you. The steps helped me, taught me how to live within myself. The traditions teach me how to live within my self. How to live with you Some of you may be thinking well I don't know if I do the traditions in my life I bet you do I bet you do you just don't really think of it in conscious terms because you're probably self-supporting you believe in a group conscience. You don't break your anonymity at the public level and get your name in the paper and picture, I'm a member of AA. You know, you don't do things like that. There's a lot of ways that we apply the traditions. You have a desire to stop drinking and you say you're a member here and usually, you know, it's funny, there was an article in the Grapevine years ago that talked about how much we really talk about traditions to new people before we ever talk about steps. I mean, we don't get them in the car and say, okay, you're going to admit your perilous, you're gonna take an inventory, you're Gonna believe in a God, you're getting rid of all those defects, you're making all those men, you're Going to have to pay all that money back, you know, they'd be running from the car. But what we do say to them is, you know what, don't worry, there's no requirement for membership. There's no dues or fees here, don't Worry about that. We're not going to break your anonymity and put it in the paper that you were here at the meeting tonight. We don't take roll call. Don't do anything like that. There's no bosses here to tell you what to do. And this we talk about before we ever talk about steps. So we really do talk about the traditions before then. In our big book, it was fascinating to me that in 1939 when it's published, we're already talking about several traditions and it's seven years before they'll even be written. In the preface, excuse me, in the forward to the first edition in every one of your big books, you will see several traditions before they were ever written, before they Were Ever Codified. Some of the statements are it is important that we remain anonymous. We would like it understood that our alcoholic work is an advocation. When writing or speaking publicly, we urge each of our fellowship to omit his personal name. We're not an organization in the conventional sense of the word. There are no dues or fees whatsoever. The only requirement for membership is an honest desire to stop drinking. We are not allied with any particular faith, sect or denomination nor do we oppose anyone. We simply wish to be helpful to those who are afflicted. Those are in forward to the first edition. I put to you to find out what do you think that what corresponding tradition do those apply to? And you'll have fun doing that. They weren't even presented to us until 1946. Bill used the grapevine a lot to launch his thoughts and ideas. The history of the traditions is fascinating, but again, we're just snippets here today. And in this one, with the traditions, he presented them as, the article was called An Alcoholics Anonymous Tradition of Relations-12 Points to Assure Our Future. In 1950, they were unanimously adopted by the International Convention in Cleveland and became a part of our second tradition, second legacy, and the 12 and 12 was published in 1953. Most of our program is about ego deflation, ego deflection at depth. So are the traditions if I apply them in a personal way. i i often when i have talked on the traditions talk about each one how i've applied them in my personal life that's not possible time wise today so i'm going to take it on a different avenue and that is in one of the articles i i love reading transcriptions of bill's talks he the heartbeat and soul of our society fellowship program is found very easily to me in his writings. He makes me cry when I read pieces he's written. And so I'm going to just talk about today, just snip through it, what he says each of these asks us to give up. One is personal desires and to place the common good first. And as you know, many of you are probably again familiar with the traditions and so I'm not going to read those traditions. They were read earlier today. We have the long form which is actually the original form and by the 1950 convention was condensed to the short form that we commonly read. But I hope that you'll become familiar with both of them because they're both in the back of your big book. Very, very informative. The second tradition asks me to give up my way. It's got to be my way or the highway type attitude. To listen to God as he may speak in the group conscience and that if I'm asked to serve, be a servant and not a dictator. Three asks me to give us rules and exclude no alcoholic from AA membership. And again we can talk a half an hour on the third tradition about who is and who isn't and what qualifies and what do you do when non-alcoholics come to closed meetings. That is a long, fun subject, but not for the moment. In four, with autonomy, we're asked to give up human authority or government and yet enjoin in consultation with others. In five, give up help on the world's problems. Let's just stick to our single purpose of carrying the message. There are over 400 different requests to date to borrow our 12 steps. They clearly have such a universal use that we allow them to be used as they wish for their own specific problem. We're just going to deal with alcoholism. In six, give up the pursuit of money, property, and authority because the influence of that will be dangerous for us. Be sure to separately incorporate and manage any business-related ideas and don't make alliances using our name. And seven, I give up my money and my time and stop depending on others to pay my bills, support my group, and AA as a whole. That becomes my responsibility. Give up in eight what's been freely given to me. I don't get paid for 12-step calls. I don'T get paid FOR sponsoring people. You know, every year for my birthday, I take my sponsor out for a meal as my small way to say thank you. And, you know, if she got paid in money what I feel she's giving, she'd get a brand-new car every year, you Know. But she's fine with a meal. And in nine, I give up organization in the conventional sense. And yet we – I operate extremely well in a type of structured environment. And we believe in the rotation of service. And I tell you, I love rotation. It is – again, I can talk a lot about that because it protects me and my ego. It gives me amazing opportunities I never would have put myself into. I said last night, I say to the secretary, unless I'm elected for a position or something, what can I do to be of service to you this term? And I let them pick instead of me saying, I want this, I want that job. Because I'd always have the big upfront deal jobs, okay? I'd almost have the greeter or the birthday girl, you know, the favorite jobs. So when I get put on bathroom toilet paper, It's not as glamorous, you know. But yeah, a very useful tool. Yeah. In 10, we give up controversy forever keeping this a safe haven for everybody to come in here. What comes here stays here so people feel safe. And that is, to me, a Very Big Responsibility that I make sure that my behavior and actions make it a safe place for anyone who comes here. In 11, give up promoting myself and just be an attraction. All my words will mean nothing if my actions are contradictory. And in 11, give up ego by being of service and try to live my life by spiritual principles instead of by trying to please personalities. And ever mindful of him who presides over us all. Nobody's got the market on God. Nobody is super spiritual that they've got more of his time than I do. We all are looked and governed by that same God. Bill said, let's be careful not to indulge too much in the acclaim that our society is a success. Remember that we live by the grace of God and on borrowed time. That's it for the traditions. We're going to go ahead and take our 10-minute break and we'll take traditions questions after that. Thank you. Sorry to be rushing you, but we've got one more topic to cover, and I know we've GotQuestions, and I love Q&A. And I want to be sure to answer as many questions as I can. Most people have absolutely no idea what the concepts are. So my job today is in a snapshot, again, share with you and kind of demystify them as to how you really get to apply them in your life. You'd be amazed. You might think, oh, it's a bunch of politics for those people in general service. Or you might have all kinds of contempt prior to investigation kinds of thoughts, okay? How many of you have been a general service representative or something in the general service structure? Great. Good. So a few of you probably have read the concepts, are familiar with them, know where they are anyway, minimum of that. But those of you who are not familiar with him, you're in the majority. This book, it's reprinted every year and updated every year So this book, you know, there's only a couple of pictures in it. It's not going to be something you curl up with a cup of cocoa and, ooh, I'm going to read the concepts manual tonight. I realize that. And a lot of times when I begin the concepts with a new sponsee who's never gone through them before, I just, whether it's on the phone or before they arrive at my house, I know it's like, oh, great, 12 weeks of this. but it is really amazing. Even though it's sort of like you throw a bunch of puzzle pieces on the table, you don't begin in the middle. You begin looking for the corners. And the more the color comes together and by the time you get through these concepts, you understand, again, the cathedral of spirit. the concepts are how the structure has developed and why its working parts are related it's really the heart of our world service at the 1961 general service conference Bill said we shall try to apprehend more lessons of our history not the lessons of our successes but the lessons of our defections our failures, and the awful emotions that be set loose upon us. In 1963's General Service Conference, he said, It is your responsibility to the future. You have to face the fact that leadership is not a question always of espousing popular opinions or causes. There comes a few times when your responsibility is such and convinced that your station gives you a wider vision than others have the advantage of, then you must stand alone. In fact, this standing alone is expressed in the concepts where there is such a concern for minorities and for their rights and how often they can be right and this also applies to the minority of one. At important turning points in the history of AA it has become my lot to stand in those lonely positions. I'm glad I was given those chances and that no grievous error resulted, thank God. End of quote. I too thank God that Bill was willing to stand so much for what he believed in. He had to fight for a lot of things that the general did not want initially. And yet if he had not fought and constantly talked about our traditions, there would be no glue. There would be probably no Alcoholics Anonymous today. It certainly wouldn't be anything we would much recognize. Even today, you can walk into meetings and wonder where you are. We get to change. We get do something about that. We get create things like this in your meeting last night. The energy, the electricity in there is something so powerful and worthwhile. Hold on to that and pass it on. Take that into other areas. Take these traditions into other ideas and concepts. Take sponsorship and leadership out there. and you may have to stand alone. But I assure you, the alcoholics will come that will be attracted to that. The concepts were just dreamed up because they didn't have anything to do one day. They were thinking big in 1938. I don't know what there's maybe 30 people, 40 people here today. That's about how many were sober in 1938 about the number of people in this room. Well, they're thinking about, you know, this maybe is going to go somewhere. I mean, we're starting to get inquiries and we've got Akron and we're going to get and we have New York and Cleveland's on board. There are some little folks over there in Cleveland. So they created an alcoholic foundation as a trusteeship to handle money and some little support that we were getting kind of develop a little central place for communication because there's no way that we can just have, well, you handle the book and you handle all our different services around. New York seemed to be where we had more alcoholics getting sober and this is where Bill was and this was where the money was that they could help raise. And, of course, again, the history of our fellowship and our program and all this is fascinating. But at the time in 1938, they're thinking about possibly going global. They're thinking About Uniform Literature, such as our big book. Well, in 2004 alone, we printed over 1.2 million big books. In that year alone, the 2005 numbers haven't come in yet because our conference is this month and we'll have the 2005 number. We've printed over 25 million. Many of you possibly were at the international convention in Toronto last year where they gave the 25 millionth copy to the warden of San Quentin, the then wardenof San Quentin. They thought about public relations. How are we going to relate ourselves to the world outside religion and medicine and so forth? Please for help, how are we gonna streamline that? What should we do about that? Helping new groups with their experiences of other groups. And in 2004, there were 57,523 registered groups in the United States and Canada that maybe will go into other countries. And in 2014, we're in 180 countries, and we have 58 general service offices like we have in New York around the world. They thought about maybe monthly magazine. Well, that has become our grapevine, and there are over 112,000 monthly subscriptions. And the translation of our literature, it just absolutely touches my heart. We're in 52 languages at present. more and more are being translated because this disease has no borders nor does the recovery. This is so universally adaptable. A God or a power greater than you as you understand him and just cleaning up your life is so adaptable to anyone. And it just, I love the fact that we are just everywhere. Even though there's only roughly 2 million of us, and it sounds like a lot, it is amazing how small of an AA world this really is. I mean, I just had that experience this weekend. So just on and on. But once you kind of understand a little bit about each of these concepts, you will see how you can apply them in your life and what they mean to you. I'm not going to read the concepts they're on the back of this in the short form there's a long form and a short form for size I just put the short from on there but concept one basically tells us that the final responsibility is with the groups we're in charge the groups are the ultimate and final responsibility but we need to send representation to speak for us But there is no big honcho somewhere in an ivory tower in New York telling all the little people what they're going to do. We have the inverted pyramid, where through representation our voice is heard. The second concept talks about that because we as this big whole, these 57,000 groups cannot possibly manage our services or manage our operations, So we send in a delegate that has our voice. And we have said, you, this General Service Conference, which will meet later in this month approximately 135 people from the U.S. and Canada, you will be given the delegated authority to be our voice, to decide our business, to make decisions, to discuss things for us. And the third concept, we give this body the right of decision. that means you can decide what you can discuss amongst yourselves and what you need to bring back to the fellowship several things have been brought back to the membership do you want a fourth edition this year some of the things they're bringing back are should we do a pamphlet specifically focusing on AA spiritual versus the religious how we do the take on that we're not religious but yet when we say the Lord's Prayer, it's misunderstood by many that it's religious. Another question, should a past alcoholic trustee be considered to be our chairman of the board? Literature, public information questions. They come back to the fellowship for their group conscience, and when those delegates go back in to review these items, the many, many items, that's just a couple, they have our voice. but if we have no representation, we have no voice. And so the right of decision is just like a coffee maker here. If you need more cups, you don't need to call a group conscious business meeting. Can I buy more cups? Yes. And you've wasted that time. But if you need a brand new coffee pot or they want to start doing seven coffee pots, that probably should be brought to the group conscience, you know. That might be a little excessive. Andso we give each of you the right of decision. Again, this is something you can apply in your family in your work life if I'm giving somebody a task am I allowing them to do the task or am I hovering and making sure that they're doing it right the right of decision The fourth concept tells us who the voting participants are in our general service conference and also again universally there are no second-class citizens, there are not second- class AA members. Everyone's voice is important which takes us into the fifth concept and that is the minority opinion will and must be heard. Again, I can apply that in family, I can Apply that in work, I can Apply that especially in our meetings. Everyone's Voice is welcome and must Be Heard. If I choose not to say it, that's on me. But I have the option, and I always feel weird using the word right because we always have rights, and I get concerned about that in my own mind. But we do have the opportunity to bring our voice to the table without being, oh, boo, and throwing tomatoes at them. You don't have to worry about that. And because the conference as a whole can't manage our operation, they only meet once a year, they have delegated that responsibility to our Board of Trustees, which is Concept 6. And Concept 7 identifies that we have some documents that guide us. The Board of trustees is guided by legal documents, the charter and bylaws. These are by the state of New York required for us to be in business. They are the accountable body of our society. but we have a conference charter that's not a legal document and is more powerful than the legal ones because it guides us by our tradition and the power of the group's purse. So this identifies or explains to us what that is in 7. Because the General Service Board, a group of 21 men and women, cannot effectively manage our affairs, their custodial oversight They are allowed in Concept 8 to get a board of directors to run our AA World Service office and our grapevine. That's what 8 is about. 9 is all about leadership, and we're going to come back to that in a minute. 10 says if you're given the responsibility, you need to be given the authority to do your job. Again, the coffee maker has the authority to buy those cups, make the coffee. He doesn't need to check with all these things. Is it okay if I show up at 7 o'clock to make the coffee? You're just given the responsibility and the authority to do the job. The relationship that the board has to our World Service Office, the administration, the composition, their committees, rotation, this is all thoroughly reviewed in the 11th concept. In 12, we call it the general warranties or the AA Bill of Rights and that it's really a summation of the prior 11 concepts. So just in a nutshell, this is what each of them are talking about. There is a pamphlet called The Twelve Concepts Illustrated full of pictures, okay? It is so well done. It is an excellent pamphet. But if you want to get a little bit deeper understanding, pick one of those up. Maybe it's right here in the central office somewhere. But it's great what they have done with the concepts illustrated and the traditions illustrated. But I want to go back to concept nine. It's about leadership. If you don't read a concept ever again in your life, do yourself one 10-minute favor and read entirety concept nine it is about leadership and i can apply this concept in every single area of my life it is the most understandable it's not full of what we might think is legalese or conceptees or whatever you know this all this mumbo-jumbo, it's really clear what it talks about. It just kind of stands out all by itself. There are some bullet points that it talks about. A leader is somebody who can personally put principles, plans and policies into such dedicated and effective action that the rest of us want to back them up or help them. it originates plans and policies and ideas but definitely looks for input and gives credit where it's due if that's a better plan we're not so close minded mine is the only right way that good leadership never passes the buck man that's hard one to do just take full responsibility instead of blaming which is the first thing I'm looking for is whose fault was it I just don't want to take the full responsibility that I'm not, I'm placing principles before personalities I'm the politico and not trying to get you what you want but what is the right thing to do here. To not oppose just because. If you've got an opposition fine but give good reasons. Don't just say well just because I didn't like Somebody needs to oppose it. No, no, no. Come on. We're not on the playground here. What's real hard is to recognize that even prideful or angry people might be right. That is so hard to do. They might be wrong. They might not be right when the majority and the meek-mannered are often steered in the wrong direction like sheep. Give and take. knowing when to compromise because life is generally as serious as he says cheerful compromises those are hard to compromise because that is how progress is made but then I need to know when I need to stand firm but I don't have to be ugly about it I don' t have to be mean and vindictive and make you wrong so I'm right just because I have a belief that's different than yours if I am comfortable with that belief there is no defending it early sobriety taught me this beautiful phrase y'all probably heard it I can agree to disagree without being disagreeable whoa, I didn't know you could do that I figured if you and I disagree we are no longer friends end of the relationship right there so I didn'T have many long lasting relationships as a result of that because I didnT know you COULD do that and another one of them is vision having vision of what is good for today as well as for the long term that's not always easy I think Bill truly had the gift of vision the more I read, the more i see his mind was just amazingly global in the workings of our structure but leadership is about criticism it doesn't none of us like criticism we can be big people big adults big girls big boys and try and take it but we still have feelings and so it really focuses three paragraphs in here on leadership and it talks about let's you know there's the good constructive kind of criticism our friends saying hey you know i i think that was kind of out of line or i think you might want to take a look at this or, you know, gosh, I'm just seeing some things. It looks like you're heading down the wrong way. And our friends were probably maybe a little bit more open. But what about the people who attack? What about the people who come at us with, you know, those thorns and spears? And it talks about the destructive critics. They power drive their politickers. They make accusations. Maybe they're violent and malicious. They pitch gobs of rumors and gossip and general scuttlebutt to gain their ends. But it's all for the good of AA. Okay, yeah, right. And so they don't need to be destructive at all. And this is what we do. I cannot tell you the number of times I have suggested this be read or I've read it to remind myself it is the most powerful thing and because Bill identifies it perfectly better than I could, I'm going to read this. But I'm gonna read it in first person. because that, again, makes it very connecting to me. Here's what we do with all the destructive critics. Again, every area of my life. To begin with, I ought to listen carefully to what they say. I can't tell you how key that is. Sometimes they're telling the whole truth. At other times, just a little truth. More often, though, they are just rationalizing themselves into nonsense. If I am within range, the whole truth, the half-truth, or no truth at all can prove equally unpleasant to me. That's why I have to listen so carefully. If they've got the whole true truth or even a little truth, ooh, this is big stuff, then I had better thank them and get on with my respective inventory admitting I was wrong. That's big grown-up stuff. If it's nonsense, I can ignore it. Or I can lay all the cards on the table and try to persuade them. And then I love this part. Failing this, okay, so he knows that ain't going to go anywhere. Go ahead and give it a whirl. Failing This, I Can Be Sorry They Are Too Sick To Listen and I Can Try to Forget the Whole Business. there are few better means of self-survey and of developing genuine patience than the workouts these usually well-meaning but erratic brother members afford me this is always a large order and i shall sometimes fail to make good on it myself but i must keep trying this is so powerful this is such a fabulous set of tools the snippets I've been able to share today again, I love talking about these concepts and all of the three legacies but if I leave you with anything I hope that it's been a knowledge or an opening or an interest to go further into the investigation and the incorporation of all these three legacies in your life. Bill said nobody invented AA, it grew. And we always attribute him and Dr. Bob, yes, they were the two, but it just grew. It became and took on a life all its own with their, them as the big rudder for a long time. But he said you and I, we are the heirs of this structure. And so let's each of us do our part to keep it strong and unified for those yet to come. Thank you. We have five minutes. So, yeah. Where can I find that section you just read? It's in Concept 9. which is in the back half of the service manual. The front part's a service manual, back half are the concepts. It's in concept nine in the long form. I don't know that it would be in its entirety in the illustrated though. Yeah? I would just like you to elaborate a little more on the most common character defects that you run across with your sponsors and also a few more perhaps about what you did I think some of the common characteristics are self-righteousness. And, again, for me, the part to grow up was shut up. Stop giving unsolicited advice, Deb. Stop trying to straighten out the world. Because I realized once I became aware that I always only know just a little bit of the story. and it's amazing how when I shut up and I begin just to step back how more and more pieces fill in and I am so grateful that I did not jump in on my banner and soapbox. Anger is another big one and that is always, my suggestion on that is you've got to find your way to pause. Pause, pause, hit that pause button on the machine because you don't want to continue doing actions and words that are so hurtful and harmful. They can be so destructive and you will break down any relationship you have with your unfiltered, unchecked anger. That basic selfish, self-centered, self serving nature that we have. I don't know that that ever goes away. I will never become a Mother Teresa and just have Debbie Give Davis as my full name. You know, give, give. Service, service, service. I just won't get there. I still have a lot of that built into me. But what happens is I have been willing to follow this as a way of life which then overrides the selfish desire with do the right thing. And that is because I make a conscious effort on that every day, not because I've become wonderful or tapped with pixie dust. I make an unconscious effort to do the right thing and not, well, what the heck, I'm just going to do it anyway. I pay the price, and that was that four- to seven-year period of time for me, just the not caring and do whatever I feel like doing without regard to anyone, and I paid that price. so does that answer was there another question do you feel it's a deluding of the program or compromising traditions with people that identify themselves as something other than alcohol alcoholic or the end I do our traditions give us that guideline we're in the business of recovery from alcoholism. Personally, I went through a treatment center so I have that experience of being told a drug is a drug, it's a drug. I'm not here to debate anybody's decision or opinion on that. For me personally, when I took a drink of alcohol my life changed and I did plenty of drugs in my period of time but when I have gone to NA meetings, I did not identify. I did not feel the connection that I do in a meeting of AA. And so when I'm in meetings that are closed meetings and there's an identification of an addict, most of the time they're brand new and they don't know any different. They've gotten misinformation. And it's not my comfortable place at all, nor do I in public humiliate anybody by saying, I'm sorry you have to leave or anything like that. because it's usually not of their own doing that they're here. There's just some bad misinformation. However, I do take the responsibility after the meeting to share with them my experience that I understand that you identified as an addict and I was just wondering do you also have a problem with alcohol? And a little bit about what AA is and that my experience was that in my particular case I was told I was chemically dependent. And I came into an area in AA that many women and men, many people said that's what they were. So why am I supposed, I don't even want to be here, so why do I even question what I am? And it was different, and alcoholic sounded kind of lame anyway. This sounded with a little kick to it, you know. And when I realized that to be more and more like these people, I need to do what they're doing, when I was able to hear, I was ableto hear and I wasableto change. And I began to identify simply as an alcoholic. Well, I can share that experience with them and tell them it's not that we want to kick you out, that's not our purpose, but we want you to find the help that you most need. And we may not be able to help you. And so many times, if I had a problem with gambling, I wouldn't go to Overeaters Anonymous. I would go where I'm going to get the most help. and so I this is what we find here too I know that we don't want to exclude anybody but we were not going to be able to help you and you'll leave anyway and say well it doesn't work but you're not in the program that suits you best so I don't think that by allowing come one come all that we benefit at all we do dilute it and pretty soon we will the new drunk walking in will sit in the back think, well, what? I must be in the wrong place. They're talking about all kinds of other stuff besides alcohol and, you know, of course they wouldn't necessarily know the wording, but we're not talking about alcoholism and recovery from it. We're talking about a lot of things that we can't relate to. So yeah, I do think that we dilute it, but I think we can do something about it and a lot is just is to educate the misunderstanding. Yes, I think I remember reading in the Little Red Book a while ago, the purpose of four meetings was to show the new man his spiritual living. Is that misquoted or do you know what I'm talking about there? The statement is right on as far as I'm concerned. Many times in meetings I get swayed one way or the other and I forget my purpose. to get the purpose, the message that I'm supposed to carry. When you get into a psychological thing about this and that and the other, it gets farther and farther. In my mind, I like to be straight. So when I share, I'm sharing my experience with Anna and Hope in regards to recovery from alcohol and spiritual life because that's it. Yeah, I agree. That is our primary purpose and it's all of our responsibility to keep it on that track. So I'd love to answer more questions, but my time is up. Thanks for being here today. Thank you.