Rigorous Study of the Big Book – BBCA Step Study Workshop – Part 1 of 2 – Howard E.

john you gotta unmute yourself i've done it now thank you hi my name is john forrest i'm an alcoholic so welcome to the international international sorry the big book comes alive Step Study Workshop. My name is John Forrest, I am alcoholic along with David Kaye from London. We will serve as co-hosts today as well as Anita from Connecticut who will be monitoring the chats and Mina from Costa Rica. We'll be also monitoring the waiting room during the meeting. Our guide through the text is Howard Eber. In keeping with the first tradition we ask for your video to be turned on to prevent disturbances. I've asked Mick Haight, sorry, Stuart from Overhampton to read the preamble. Thank you, John. Well, I'm Stuart. I'm an alcoholic. Yeah, I had a preample. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for AA membership. We are self-supporting through our own contributions. AA is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organisation or institution, does not wish to engage in any controversy, neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety Thank you I have asked now Mick H. from Brighton to read the Serenity Prayer Thanks John Please join me in the Serentity Prayer using the word God God Grant me the serenity Accept the things we cannot change John, you're muted. Thank you. Are there any AA or non-AA recovery-related announcements? Yeah, what we do here is... Sorry about that. What we do here is everyone who wants an announcement, well, announced, send it in to me and I will do my best to get them posted. Since we have a lot of them, I could only do them in clusters. We're going to do a bunch of them now and a bunch at the end of the meeting. But first, let me start with this. I mentioned that we have Facebook page. We now have five, unlike what this says, we have 510 members as of this afternoon. If you're not part of that group, send a request in to the Big Book Comes Alive study group and we'll let you in. Very simple. Let's see what else we got. Also, good news. One of the things that's changed this year, this cycle, is that I'm not going to be sending out the weekly recordings. uh mike fitzpatrick has agreed to post them on a separate dedicated page on recovery speakers so if you go to recoveryspeakers.com and click on where it says speakers there'll be a drop down menu at the bottom is meeting audio libraries click on that and there's box of chocolates serenity improvement and there will be the big book comes alive group you click on that it'll take you to the recording and the attachments for that recording will be right underneath the recording if you go to it now this uh where i was talking about the fourth step underneath it or all the recording of the attachments from that so from this point on 48 hours after the meeting you'll find it on recoveryspeakers.com so go there tuesday and I'm sure it'll be there. Dedicated page, and I don't have to send it out to 500 people. Now let's go through some of those announcements, I promise. All right. First, let me go over some of the women's meetings. Just past the 300 mark. Thank you, man. That's great. Okay. Shuiha has her women's big book meeting on Wednesdays. That continues. Howard can you move that over we're just seeing it um the documents library ah okay hang on okay I gotta double click it again how's that can you see it now yeah here we go thank you Howard okay there you go and incidentally if my suggestion is take a picture of these a screenshot but if you miss it send me an email and I'll send them to you what I'm going to do is i'm going to put whatever uh flyers you see this week won't be there next week i'm alternating i can't keep i've got about 50 flyers to show we're only going to show about 30 or 40 of them and alternate so just send them in and i promise we'll get them up here's another this another women's meeting a big book workshop um what day is it uh tuesdays uh another one The Shoulder to Shoulder group out of Philadelphia, a great group of people. I have a whole bunch of meetings. This is just one of them. They're women's big book study. A couple of women's meetings here on Sunday. Here's the one with several. On Monday, Living Sober. Wednesday, Voices of Women in AA. And on Friday, Step Tradition and Concept. They'll have a speaker on each one. Please support these. These are all members of our group who have sent this in for one reason or another. The Women's Marathon, 24 and 7. You're up in the middle of the night. You need to talk to someone. Here it is, a Women's 24 and 9 meeting. Okay, now I got a few other regular meetings to go over, and then we'll hand it back to John. Let's go here. All right. All right, 4. first one we got is our friend eddie's box of chocolates on thursday night uh you never know what you're going to get each week is a new host and the host sets the format if they want to have a speaker they want To make a presentation want to talk about the steps discussion whatever it's up to the individual member so there are a couple of folks from our group speaking here over the next few weeks let's support eddie uh 7 p.m on thursday eastern time unfortunately that's midnight in the uk um the catford whoop i lost it hang on i lost cat howard you muted yourself actually actually that was me by mistake watch it watch it anita don't want to have to write you up on this okay uh back to uh the announcements catford a lot of speakers a lot folks from our group have already spoken some more are speaking as we go along um aaron just spoke katherine c is coming up this week a great meeting speaker meeting all about recovery these are big book oriented meetings uh david you want to say something about this great work oh look we're beginning to set up we've just set up a writing the big book the creation of a reading zoom meeting and our first guest reader will be none other than bill sheberg and every week howard has agreed to read a couple of paragraphs chapters for us as well so i'm really excited about this one thank you this is great eddie i think this is the second most important book ever written about alcoholics anonymous second to the big book itself uh this is vital so i've been trying to tell people to go out and buy it and read it and maybe not enough people are so david figured all right i'll read it to you so that's what we're going to do each week we're gonna have another person coming in and read a chapter and then read the next chapter we can't make it any easier for you just show up and listen it's going to be great going to be great and what a great way to start it with the author himself that is super man great work david um i talked about that oh there we go the uh wednesday um there it is variety hour meeting several of us have spoken in a really great meeting um ken is involved in that eddie's involved in that several people here on wednesday uh six o'clock central seven o'lock eastern again midnight in great britain i'm sorry about that um and the bernardsville daily reprieve meeting great speakers every week uh this is chris schroeder's home group tuesday 7 30 eastern time uh every week's a great speaker so see if you can fit that into your schedule uh the back to basics meetings are starting over again this one is bill simmons i think bill is here somewhere but uh what if you've never been exposed to this they go through the steps in their entirety in four sessions so if you want to dive in and get real familiar with the steps here's a great way to start this is not a substitute for working it the way we're doing it here it is a way to introduce you to the whole process of working in steps um and i think that comes oh anita this is anita you want to say something yes this is this is my home group meeting and it is called the joy of living we are a young people's group but we also welcome any and all that would like to attend every friday night at 8 p.m eastern time we have our meeting that runs an hour long and the speaker speaks on the step for the current week i believe we're on we're moving on to step seven this week yeah that should be fun okay thank you anita um and the drop the rock meetings there are two drop the lock meetings this one is drop the rap on the rickle the ripple effect not don rickles the ripple effect um steps 10 and 11 uh the other drop the rock miss julie's group miss julia you want to say something oh yep yeah join us on thursday evenings 5 30 um pacific standard time that's california 8 30 eastern which makes it 1 30 in the uk i think okay well yeah 12 okay whatever time it is join us we're um we read the book we read a few pages or so we have a leader that shares for 10 minutes and then we open it up to participation and um love your support great great meeting character defects are they're they're alive and kicking in my life right now there's no shortage of them yeah a lot of you have contacted me over the last few weeks and asked for copies of this I was really surprised how many people wanted it, so I figured I'd make sure to include it. It's the combination AA and OA meeting based on the big book. They use our book as well. So Sunday night and Tuesday nights, give it a shot. And that takes care of the announcements for now. I've got a bunch for after the meeting. I'll try and be sensitive and show some here and some there. okay john you got something else yep in keeping with seven with our seven tradition we are self-supporting so if you'd like to make a donation here a few ways we do so just a sec there we go okay just hold your camera up take a picture of any one of these or send the check the the old-fashioned way um i we our last check to area service was 440 or something like that and we'll make another donation in a week or two so if you can give please do we pay our rent to zoom and everything else goes to world services and they need every penny of it so give what you can i'm going to leave this up for a minute while john you want to continue yes thank you okay this this is a 75 minute workshop where we work through the steps as they were originally written in the basic text of the book i'll call it synonymous we analyze discuss highlight and relate to the readings as we go along if you feel we're moving too fast please please notice in the chat to one of our co-hosts and we'll slow down our file matters as follows howard will review a portion of the text at specific points and open up for six minutes for questions this will give a good opportunity to ask any related questions each question questionnaire person will be allocated a maximum of two minutes and we will let you know when you got with 30 seconds left as well you can use the raise hand option so you're recognized in the order that there's a dated intervals when sharing can we keep please keep it on the on topic please and keep it brief because obviously we only got two minutes on each one all co-hosts will act as monitors so that there are many men so many members of possible cast questions when the allocated time has elapsed howard will resume his review until the text until the next discussion break now howard won't remain online after the meeting for as long as necessary to chat with anyone wanting to share and that could not it is not our intention it is our intention to offer the 12 steps as a group we're giving assignments if you care to work if you can't will to work through the results together therefore making a commitment to come each week is critical please bring your sponsors sponsors and people from your from your circle of recovering friends note these workshops are not a substitute for a sponsor if you have us if you if you do not have a sponsor yet it is vital to get one asap even a temporary sponsor if You are if you are new please stay online after the meeting and we'll help you out we begin each meeting by asking everyone to read the set aside prayer followed by a minute of silent meditation to clear our minds and get in touch with why we are here so can we all say the set aside prayer together please uh david you want to put it up for us okay yeah let's everyone on mute and read this together dear god And we're going to have a moment of silence and I'm going to mute everybody. Someone's mic is gone somehow. Could you please turn it off? I think Howard what's that okay all right thank you for let's get started um all right uh my name is howard eber and i am an alcoholic um a little uh blown away by the response here i was john and i were talking earlier today and i made a prediction of that and obviously we're way beyond that and that's amazing so thank you guys uh it means a lot because what we're about to do here is what charlie palmley told me was painting a target on our back because we're we're doing work that most of aa groups that you go to don't do those what chris calls group depression meetings where you come in feeling lousy and leave feeling worse people come in and share the events of the day as chris says the ongoing adventures of aunt fanny and Uncle Fudd. And then they come back tomorrow and tell you, Fanny did this and then Fudd did that. And that's not what this is about. So what I want to do here is before we really get started, there's a couple of questions I want to pose. And one of your handouts is called Welcome to the Big Book Study. Let me find it here. If you don't have it, don't worry. I'm going put it up here anyway okie doke here we go let me shrink this down so we could see it before embarking on the journey i just like i said want to answer a few questions first why why bother working the steps right you go to meetings people say just don't drink and go to meetings. Don't drink no matter what, you know, don't pick up no matter what. Well, let's see what Bill might have responded to that, how he might have responded to that. So in the 12 and 12, Bill says sobriety brought about by the admission of alcoholism, which is step one, and by attendance at a few meetings. Attendance at a Few Meetings is very good indeed but it is bound to be a far cry from permanent sobriety and a contented useful life that is just where the remaining steps of the aa program come in nothing short of continuous action upon these as a way of life can bring the much desired result it's a way of life means it's ongoing it's constant it's not like sex in a jewish marriage you know one and done. It doesn't work like that. This is something that has to be done over and over and over again, and the much-desired result is spiritual awakening. In order to get there, you have to do this. Bill further says, unless each AA member follows to the best of his ability our suggested 12 steps to recovery, he almost certainly signs his own death warrant. How's that for a reason to do it. I don't need a second or a third reason. You tell me that I could die by not doing it? Where do I sign up? His drunkenness and dissolution, which to me is a way of saying his relapses. His relapsing, his drunkeness and disslusion result from his personal disobedience to spiritual principles. So what are spiritual principles Bill's talking about? You know you go to meetings and subject is on spiritual principles, and people talk about, well, honesty and open-mindedness and willingness. Well, in the context of the book, there are three types of literature. There's fiction, nonfiction, and text. Fiction is, you know, it's fantasy, science fiction, Star Wars, all that stuff. Nonfiction, true stuff, biographies, histories. And then there's texts, and textbooks are meant to teach us something. They're conveying information from the mind of the teacher, the author, to the student through the written word. And if we don't understand exactly what the author meant when he used certain words, we're going to get the wrong impression. So it's important that we are on the same page with Bill. So when Bill says spiritual principles in this case he's talking about the steps and he further says the steps we took are suggested as the program of recovery not a program of suggestions and again in the forward to the 12 and 12 he says that aa's 12 steps are a group of principles spiritual in their nature so i didn't make it up when bill says spiritual principles he explains himself He always does. He always defines his terms, but we have to read carefully to find it. So he makes a statement about disobedience to spiritual principles, and then he tells you what those spiritual principles are that he's referring to. So he says there are a group of principles, spiritual in nature, which are practiced as a way of life. Here we go again. Ongoing can expel the obsession to drink and enable a sufferer to become happily and usefully whole. So that's what Bill said about why. Okay, that's why we work the steps. So if we work the steps as a way to recover, what the hell do I need to go to meetings for? What's the point of meetings if I work steps as how I recover? What do I needs this for? I need see you guys 10 times a week. Well, let's go back to the writing. In Problems Other Than Alcohol, certainly my least favorite IP, Bill says sobriety. Freedom from alcohol through the teaching and practice of the 12 steps is the sole purpose of an AA group. Let me repeat that. Teaching and practice of the twelve steps isthe sole purpose of an AAA group. And he further amplifies that in as Bill sees it, where he says our chief responsibility to the newcomer is an adequate presentation of our program. I don't mean to be negative, but the next meeting you go to when you leave, you've got to ask yourself, did they just adequately present the program? Did they talk about the practice and teaching of the 12 steps? What do I know all about? The guy whose neighbor shits on his lawn all the time and the wife that doesn't understand him and the kids who ignore him and the boss who's ungrateful. Do I get a presentation of the program or do I get the ongoing adventure of this guy's life? And for what it's worth, you know, for those of us who think that meetings are just a dumping ground for our problems, a sort of spiritual gas station where we go in and we get pumped up for an hour or so and leave, remember that on page 160, I don't have it here, Bill says the prime object of those meetings was to provide a time and a place where new people might bring their problems. So our meetings are for new people. What do we do when the new people show up? We present our program, we teach and practice the 12 steps. Okay, so that's the case. Then why not work out of the 12 and 12? When I came in in 83, that's what we were doing. You go to a step meeting and what do they do? they read a chapter an essay from the 12 and 12 took me 24 years to get to a meeting where when they started to teach the steps they cracked open the big book so for years and years and years i think we all a lot of us but i can only speak for myself assumed that somehow some way we worked the steps out of the 12th and 12th because that's what the title said well why do we added a big book. In the forward to the 12 and 12, Bill explains the differences between the books are the book Alcoholics Anonymous, the big book, became the basic text of the program and it still is. Once again, we now know the nature of the book. He defines it. It's a textbook. What is the purpose of a textbook? To teach something to a student. A kid gets in first grade, you give him a math book and say, turn to the fourth chapter on long division, fill it out and come back tomorrow with all the answers. Chances are he's not going to be able to do any of that because he needs to be taught the first chapter, which is addition. And then once he learns that, they'll teach him the second chapter, Which is subtraction, which Is just addition in reverse. And then they teach him multiplication in the third chapter, which is again a higher form of addition. And then when he knows how to add, subtract and multiply, he's ready to work step four, chapter four, long division. A textbook teaches us. And so Bill is saying that the big book is meant to be the basic text. He says, this present volume, the 12 and 12, was proposed to broaden and deepen the understanding of the 12 steps as first written in the earlier work. So if the 12-in-12 is meant to broaden and deepen our understanding, in order to get an understanding we have to have an experience and the experience we have is through the big book. We deepen and enhance our understanding with things like the 12 and 12 or the hazelton guide or any number of guides that are out there to tell you how to work steps a different way why then this why do we do what we're doing here we get together in these step study groups why not have those uh traditional step meetings where you come in you read a chapter on a step and then everyone raises their hand and usually begins their sentence with, I'm not really on that step yet, but I don't really want to hear anything after that. Your opinion on a step that you haven't worked, I want to here from people who worked it so I could learn how to do that, so I can learn from them. I don�t want an opinion on the ninth step from somebody who's working on his third. It's just not going to work. So why do we do these kind of meetings? Well, some of you may be familiar with the Little Red Book. It looks like this, The Little Red Book. The actual title of the book, if you open it up, is a lot longer. It was originally titled An Orthodox Interpretation of the Twelve Steps of the Alcoholics Anonymous Program, published in 1946, written by Edward Webster, who also wrote Stools and Bottles. It came out a a little while after the original first edition. And the reason why they call it the Little Red Book is the first edition was red. The first edition of the big book had a big red cover. This is an accompany guide. This is a study guide, the first study guide for working out of the Big Book. This is meant to be an accompanying piece for working the Big Books, out of The Big Book and let me quote you some things from that. Let's get back to this. So in that, he says, Edward Webster says in the introduction, for those who are willing to accept the AA program as a means of recovery from alcoholism, we recommend a close study of Alcoholics Anonymous. He's not saying go study the fellowship. AlcoholicsAnonymous is a book. So he's saying, we recommend a close study of the book. Study it repeatedly in case you missed the point in the first sentence. He says it again and then he says it igen. Alcoholics Anonymous has all our answers. I firmly believe in that. There hasn't been a problem in my life in the last 14 years that I haven't found an answer for in the big book. It's all there. And then the author's notes of the Little Red Book, he further states that worthwhile results have followed the inauguration of weekly classes devoted to guidance of new members in their quest for a better understanding of the 12 steps as a way of life for recovery from alcoholism. These classes, we're in one of them, have created a solidarity of understanding within our fellowship. Actually, today it's probably created more division, but I think Zoom is changing that. They've brought a closer adherence to the big book, better understanding and application of its philosophy, more effective sponsorship, and a much higher ratio of sobriety among our members. I think the greatest crisis, the greatest challenge AA has to face today is lack of adequately trained sponsors. And I think that's 10 times worse for women. So here's a way to have more effective sponsorship and a higher ratio of sobriety by getting together and working these steps out of the big book in these kind of settings. So I want to just propose something else, let me get past this. I don't need to keep that up there anymore. Let me get rid of this. Need that and I don t need that. Okay. If your doctor told you that you had a big malignant tumor. Muted me again. Okay, if your doctor told you that you had a big hairy malignant tumour attached to your cerebral cortex and then he suggested a method of treatment that was dietary improvements, vitamin supplements and exercise, the first thing you do is go find another doctor. Right? And yet that's exactly what we are doing today when a new person arrives at a meeting. We suggest 90 meetings in 90 days. We give them a phone list. We gave them a bunch of other what I call, quote, disease management tactics that are valuable, but they're not going to deal with the root problem of alcoholism. For the chronic addict alcoholic, the 12 steps are the aggressive treatment that offers the best chance for eradicating the root cause of our destructive behavior. In my experience, the majority of our meetings are not about the aggressive treatment of the condition. They're more like hospice care, and that's just my opinion. I may be wrong, but that's why I believe what we're doing here in these groups is so important because we're sending people with cancers, tumors out, and just telling them to change their diet, and that'S not going to be aggressive enough to save their lives. And how did we get to this point, I'm going to read something that Bill wrote in the grapevine in 1961. He says, we can't content ourselves with the view that all of these recovery failures were entirely the fault of newcomers themselves. He said, perhaps a great many didn't receive the kind and amount of sponsorship they needed. We didn't communicate when we might have done so. So we, AAs, failed them. Perhaps more often than we think, we still make no contact at depth with those suffering the dilemma of no faith. And I think to some extent, unfortunately, that's still true today, that there are people dying from this disease languishing at the back of every room, every meeting that we go to. All right, let's start our big book study. Now, most of you know, I recommend for the rest of our study that you pick up the study version of the big book because it's got a blank page every other page for notes, okay? However, today we're going to need to use like a fourth edition because this study version only has the forward to the first edition because of copyright laws they couldn't duplicate the second third and fourth edition forwards so for those we're going to have to look at our blue book so that's where i'm going to start i'm gonna ask that you take out your blue book open to the first page and by first page i mean this everyone see that this page you notice it's blank this is a graphic illustration this is a picture of the set aside prayer when we ask god to set aside you know actually in the prayer it says we ask God to help to set beside these things because he's the only one who can do that but this is the way we have to come into this process. This is, and I'll speak for myself, this is the sum total of my knowledge of this book when I came into my first workshop on May 2nd, 2006. This is how much I knew. And I'd been around 24 years. That's what I knew about recovery in 24 years we're going to turn to the first page the so-called title page that says alcoholics anonymous the story here we go you may want to highlight this because it's kind of a promise we highlight our promises and prayers in pink incidentally uh anyone know what edition howard just suggested i suggested the study version of the big book it's available through the anonymous press just go a-l-a-n-o-n dot org i'm sorry on a-n o-n that's it a-no-n anonymouspress.org or just google it you can get it on amazon as well only amazon charges 10 11 bucks you buy it from the printer it's about seven or eight bucks so anonymouspress dot org okay very easy to get Back to the book. Title page says the story of, and here's a promise. And like I said, we highlight our promises and prayers in pink. How many thousands of men and women have recovered ED from alcoholism? so we're on the very first page of this book and we're already being introduced to what for many of us is a new word now you all know the word recovered but what we think it means and what it means in the context of the big book are two different things my first experience through this book my hand went up right away when they read this page and i said i can't do that I've been around 24 years. I know everything. I'm here 24 years, let's not talk about those two relapses, but I've benear 24 years and I learned if nothing else, you never say you're recovered. We're always recovering. So I can't, how can I say I've recovered? And the person who was leading the meeting said, can you just patiently wait till we flip the page? Just give us about two minutes and we'll answer your question because what recovered means in the context of the book is not what I thought it meant. This is a new word. We're going to be introduced today to several other new words, allergy, obsession, craving. If not today, then certainly next week, because we're going to do the four words this week by hook or by crook. We'll get that stuff done and hit the doctor's opinion next week so what i'm going to suggest you do if your book is like mine in the middle of the page it's blank it says fourth edition and then it's black so what i'm gonna suggest you write something in that blank spot i'm going to ask that you make a circle and in that circle an equilateral triangle equilateral means same size on each side equal sides this is as you may know this is our uh what they call the legacies of AA and legacy is defined as something that's handed down from one generation to the next. I'm sorry, Howard, where, what page am I doing this on? I'm so sorry. Title page, title page. Put it right here. Hang on. I'll take it down right here, put it on the title. I don't have it. My cover's gone. I've had too many studies and my mind's gone write it anywhere then. I am. I'm writing it in the preface. Get a new book for this cycle. Okay. Okay. So, I'm going to suggest you do an equilateral triangle and a circle around it. And on the left side of it, write traditions. Write unity. I'm sorry. Or unity is learned through working and learning the traditions. so unity equals traditions and you'll find the traditions on page 563 to 66 the right side of the triangle write service and we learn service by studying the concepts and the concepts you'll Find on 574 and 575 now for the purpose of our workshop for the next 40 weeks or so we're really not going to be spending much of any time on either of those two. This is not a unity or service workshop. It's a step workshop. So, we're going to be spending all of our time on the bottom part of the triangle, recovery portion of the Triangle, meaning the steps. And even though I wrote page 59, actually, under where it says the steps, you may want to write pages 1 through 164. because that's really where you'll learn about the steps. That's how you learn how to work them. Page 59 lists them from 1 to 164, tells you how to work them, so that's our legacy. The three-sided triangle, unity, service, recovery, and it's my belief if we don't have a firm foundation in recovery, what happens if we remove this bottom line. These two cave in, so I don't think you can do service and traditions and unity true justice. You can't do as well as you could there. If you haven't done this, work the steps, and you'll be better at service and unity. All right, let me get off the soapbox. let's turn the page to the table of contents do you have that page cheryl okay okay all right um you know every once in a while i get asked you know where are the steps in this uh you know if someone read the book it takes till the fifth chapter, how it works, where Bill says you're now at step three. He doesn't really give us a great breakdown of those things up until that point, and there's a lot up until THAT point. So what I want to do on the table of contents is kind of lay that out. So I'm going to suggest that next to the doctor's opinion and Bill's story, you write the problem. Step one. That's what we're going to get from reading the doctor's opinion in Bill's story. Underneath that, chapters two and three more about alcoholism and we agnostics. Two, three, and four is about the solution. Step two. If you want to really break it down further, page 17 to 23 focuses on step one. 23 to 29 focuses on step two chapter five six seven are all bracketed as the program of action the programofaction and if you want to break it down further how it works covers steps three and four. Interaction covers steps five through 11. Working with others, step 12, part two. Part two. Because step 12 part three is in the next section, chapters eight and nine. So next to that I wrote practicing these principles because that's the third part of the 12th step, practicing these principles in all of our affairs, and you'll find them in those two chapters. And I bet you didn't know that. And then once again, chapter 10, Two Employers, is about step 12, part 2, because it is so much information about how to work with others. I believe Two Employors is a great chapter to read to learn how to be a sponsor. And chapter 11, Vision for You, is history. same way we have history up here at the beginning we begin our cycle and end our cycle with history let's turn the page to the table excuse me where was step 12 part 1 step 12 part 1 is everything up to chapters 1 through 7 the first 7 chapters actually 6 the first 6 chapters cover that okay okay the first part of step one is having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps so that means we've done something we've achieved something by working all of these steps we've worked all these steps by reading and following the advice in the doctor's opinion bill story solution more about alcoholism we agnostics how it works into action that's where we've learned all of those steps so how do you work the first part of the 12th step read and do what it says in the first six chapters in the doctor's opinion does that help yes thank you all right so we're going to spend a moment really a moment in the table of contents there are a couple of stories i wanted you to just jot some names down next to uh the first one is Alcoholics Anonymous number three that's Bill Dotson d-o-t-s-o n we're going to talk about Bill at some point you may want to get ahead and read some of these we do not read the personal stories in the workshop that's why I'm suggesting you may want to read it on the side we talk about some of These people but we're not reading these stories Why does it say number three? Sorry. Alcoholics Anonymous number three is Bill Dotson, D-O-T-S-O. They lost nearly all. Okay, he's AA number three. That chapter, for what it's worth, was actually written by Bill, but we'll discuss that some other time. Chapter three, Women Suffer Too. That's the story of Ms. Marty Mann. M-A-R-T-Y-M-A‑N‑N. I just got her book put up on my shelf on the top. Marty Mann. We'll be talking about her. Chapter 4, Our Southern Friend. That's a gentleman by the name of Fitz, F-I-T‑Z‑Mayo, M-E‑Y‑O, Fitz Mayo. If I told you his real name, you'd never have room to write it. it's john henry fits you mayo you'd be off the page so fits mayo is all they call him chapter five the vicious cycle is written by jim burwell b-u-r-w-e-l-l this first appeared in the third edition um jim berwell is very well known for as being credited as the guy who came up with the expression, God as we understand him. So pretty significant in our history. And then I'm going to ask you to jump ahead to page X up here in the Naugatuck Valley in Connecticut. We call it page X. Out there, you guys call it Roman numeral 10. We haven't gotten that far in the valley here it's page x on page x is chapter 14 called freedom from bondage that is written by win w-y-n-n quorum c-o-r-u-m laws l-a-w-s her chapter contains an extraordinary uh section on how to get free of resentments that you don't want to let go of or have been unable to let go of them how do you spell our last name again win oh laws l-a-w-s win quorum laws let me stop for a minute there's some confusion here so let's take a break who's confused and why and let me see if i can kind of get everybody on the same page i don't want to move ahead and leave people in the dust is there anybody who's lost anybody who'S unclear about something seven eight nine sorry uh wait put your how about you put your hand up can you do that okay john will call on you john will tell me who's first okay whenever you're ready john lisa marie's first okay lisa lisa mori presley okay hi howard thank you um i've i've completely just got lost after jim warwell sorry i um i just i'd say you've you were going on to x and i don't know what you what one you mean yeah uh on page x there's chapter 14 you see it freedom from bondage oh yeah okay that story is now the name win quorum laws w-y-n-n c-o-r-u-m laws l-a-w-s you want to go out of miami joe you muted joe hey you're not using the fourth edition right because yes okay i'm using the fourth edition okay then i see it now when i when i went over and shifted the books okay yeah because some of them are in it yes i should have mentioned that sorry uh who's next sarah pay hi sir alcoholic back in the contents i missed out chapters three and four you titled them what chapter three women suffer too i'm sorry table of contents yeah oh i'm sorry chapter three more about alcoholism yes three and four was one it's the solution two three and two three four are the solution thank you okay all three of those are about step two got it okay thank you who's now Amanda did you say no Mary so that's where I think a few of us got confused is you went really fast through the contents so my suggestion or what would be helpful and I don't want you to backtrack because I'm I'm with you now on everything else you've done but like there was a lot of writing there and a lot of stuff you went over like 1 through 12 and where it's at right somehow some way if you could take a picture of that post it so I could copy it and go at my own pace that's a lot information to write that quickly okay especially a newcomer I mean I would want to quit already I don't want that that's why I'm stopping at this point and believe me FYI just letting you know so it's not too it's just, it's fast. It's too much information to write, you know, like notes too fast. If you can post it so I can take my time to write that, I will do that at a later time. Okay. I will send out, there's a sheet that basically describes what we just did and I'll send that out. Okay? So everybody who's on the list will get a copy of that. Perfect. Thanks. No, I'm sorry. Not I'll send it out when i post the recording on recovery speakers with all of the attachments that'll be one of the attachments thanks howard all right that way you can get it have it there but believe me we're kind of done with that we're now getting into reading from the book i mean that was kind of confusing i i understand that but that's why i wanted to stop was he right oh you got a few other hand kate g sorry howard hi thanks i think uh just the the author of vicious cycle and freedom of bondage vicious cycle a vicious cycle is written by jim burwell b-u-r-w-e-l-l right he's the one who came up with the expression god as we understand them or is credited with that the freedom from bondage story is win w-y-n-n quorum c-o-r-u-m laws l-a-w-s thank you so much mike yeah I just want to confirm 7, 8, 9 is top fall right uh chapters 7,8 and 9 no actually chapter 7 yes it's 12 and 10 too yes I knew that so I'm just yes I'm not going to break it down any further yes that works who's next Kathy it's Kathy thank you so much just to clarify when it talks about how many thousands of men and women have recovered from alcoholism that's a promise right yep i think okay i think so um another question is can you go a wee bit slower yes okay please please please tell me those things i'm mel and jessica hi howard thanks and just under two three and four on the content page that was all um labeled step two and then you you split it down further by pages 17 to 23 and 23 to 29 right pages seven if you want to drill down further pages 17 to 23 focus on step one okay 23 to 29 step two that's great thank you very much We have Amanda now. Amanda? Sure. Hi, thank you. I'm still on the contents page as well. And I've got to five, six and seven program of action. Right. And then I lost it after that. So I don't know what... Okay, eight. Eight, nine, ten or eleven are. 8, 9, 10 are step 12. 8, 9, 10, step 12 and chapter 11 vision for you is history. So what steps are five, six and seven chapters, five, six and 7. Those are the program of action steps three through 11. Okay. Thank you. Okay. And we have last New York. Lars, a large alcoholic. Hey, hey, Howard, I wanted to at least check in with you. Thanks. You're doing a fabulous job. Thanks so much. Thank you. And thank you, everyone else that works on your team. Anita, David, so on. I loved hearing about what the stories I know you're not going to be doing with the authors. And I was just wondering if there's any other. Well, first of all, particularly if there'S anyone alive that you can mention, And if you know any of the other authors, because I've heard a couple of them speak like the woman, you know, just crossing the river of denial. Number one and two, is there or is there any resource that could rather than taking time resource to go to test that says the authors? Yeah. If you Google big book authors are Alcoholics Anonymous, big book authors, you'll find it be a dozen things showing up. Okay, good. EA Pioneers. I mean, it's very easy to find. There are a lot of websites that have it. The Jay Walker site. You know, there's a number of places. Thank you, Howard. Rick has his hand. Does Rick have his hand up? Yeah, Rick. Yeah, my name's Rick. And I just wanted to say Mary Lee's been raising her hand physically. I didn't know she knew about the reactions. If you click on reactions down the bottom. I was just getting way overly excited. But that last lady's question got me caught up because I was just getting more and more confused and I was going to hop off and give up. No. I was like, fuck it. I got a headache. Excuse my effort. But I was getting frustrated. So that's why. But then I cheered because she asked the question. I got my answer finally. And I even said thank you in that chat. Whoever she was, I'm so grateful. I promise you that there isn't anything that we're going to do for the next 40 weeks that is in any way shape or form as discombobulated as what we're doing now we're going to start reading the book and the book is linear so we're not going to be jack rabbiting all around the place that's only the first week to get through this jazz okay so we'RE GOING TO START WITH WITH THE BOOK WE'RE ON THE FOURTH EDITION THE PREFACE TO the fourth edition, which is in my book on page XI. Everyone see that? Now we're not going to read everything on this page. I want to highlight the second paragraph. The second paragraph said, and incidentally, this preface to the fourth addition, this was in 2001. That's when this came out. The Second Paragraph says, because this book has become the basic text, again, It alerts us to the nature of the book. It's not fiction, it's not non-fiction, it is a textbook. The basic text of our society and has helped such large numbers of alcoholic men and women to recovery, there exists strong sentiment against any radical changes being made in it. So basically, they're saying that they haven't found a way to add to it, haven't found a way to take something away from it, haven't find a way to make it better. What a powerful statement that is if you think about it. You know, it's amazing and he goes on to say therefore the first portion of this volume describing the AA recovery program which is pages 1 through 164 that's the recovery part of the book everything else is personal story so the recovery portion of the books page 1 through 164, and I've underlined these next few words, has been left untouched. Untouched since 1939. That's amazing. In the course of revisions made for the second, third, and fourth edition. And for what it's worth, and we'll run a little long so I don't want to get too deep into it. I know Bob Hickey could give us a longer explanation on this, and so could Phyllis or Dave or Bill, but as I understand it, in the World Convention in 1976, they decided that any changes to the steps, traditions, the recovery portion of the book, the first 164 pages, in order to change it requires approval you ready for this of 75 percent of groups worldwide worldwide you ever go to a business meeting in your home at your home group and try and get them to decide on what kind of creamer to buy right i mean you can't get 75 of alcoholics together to agree on anything and it has to be done in six months howard there you go okay thank you so obviously there's not going to be a lot of changes made in this or any um let's jump to the forward to the first edition which is on page x real quick you you said highlight that paragraph but you didn't mention a color and he doesn't matter oh and the whole entire paragraph yeah oh that we read that we read, Mary Lee. You can highlight it all, but the important part is what we read. And just so we are clear, it doesn't matter what color you use except I suggest pink for prayers and promises and I'll pass along what I did. The first time I went through the book, I highlighted everything that wasn't in pink. I highlighted in yellow. The second cycle I went though, I've highlighted anything in green the third time through i used orange and the fourth time through i used blue so i could see how things jumped out at me as i look at the page so for me to be consistent i used one color for everything except prayers and promises it's up to you that's all um all right i'm going to suggest we go to the forward to the first edition, page XIII. And here we get an answer to that recovered business from the title page. We of Alcoholics Anonymous are more than 100 men and women who have, and please highlight and underline this phrase, recovered, E.D., E.T., from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. We've recovered from this hopeless state of mind and body, and I've highlighted this next sentence that has all the squiggly writing up here in the Naugatuck Valley. We call it squiggly writing. You guys call it italics, but it's the same thing. We called squiggly writings to show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book very specifically not in general terms not about roundabout precisely how we have recovered e d for what it's worth this is my take this is what i was taught my sponsor taught me chris taught me the difference between recovered and cured. Recovered means the symptoms of my disease are no longer present. The symptoms of my disease are not present. I'm not drinking. Big symptom. I'm actually showing up for work. I am not a source of confusion and chaos in my life and everybody else's life. Those are some of the symptoms of my alcoholism and my addiction. They're no longer present. I'm not doing any of that stuff. So, I have recovered from this hopeless state of mind and body. Cured to me means the disease itself is absent. The disease is gone. Recovered, the disease may be there, but the symptoms are not. Does that make sense? That's what I was taught. And again, the most simple form of it is I've recovered from this hopeless state. I'm no longer hopeless. I came in here and you told me if I did this work. I could get this result. That's what you said in the first part of the 12th step. So, I got a little hopeful that there's an answer for me here. So, I wasn't helpless anymore. I've recovered from that particular state of mind and body. And I think that's what Bill is saying in this. And he uses the word recovered over and over and again. So if anyone ever tells you in a meeting that you shouldn't use the word recovered just a they've never read the big book so help them out turn to the first page and show what it means he says for them we hope these pages will prove so convincing that no further authentication will be necessary i like to use my book for this okay um that no further uh authentication will be necessary i think what he's saying is that we hope what we've written in these pages will be so convincing to you the reader that you will not need to go out and prove once again that you can't control this that you don't have to go out one more time, that maybe if you read this, you can be convinced by identifying with us. Basically he's saying, can you identify with what you're reading here? Maybe you don'T have to do it. You don'T HAVE to go OUT and risk getting killed and risk dying by your next relapse. So he's just saying we hope these pages will convince you not to do that because you have a choice and he's going to present that choice over and over to stay stuck in the problem or to seek spiritual solutions. I think there's a third option to that too, which I was using for 24 years. It's go to meetings, it's work the steps and it's get the right job. There's always a third thing. Stay stuck in The Problem. The choices are stuck in THE PROBLEM. Pursue the solution or get the right job or the right woman or the write this or the write that. There was always a third thing that was really the priority for me. I worked the program the way I wanted to do it. So, I had a third option. All through the book Bill gives us two options. Your choices are to stay stuck in this problem or seek a solution. I had an option I had the third option I think I know a better way my way okay uh we'll come across that later um we think this account of our experiences will help everyone and i've underlined that word everyone so we're not talking about just the alcoholic we're talking about wives family members employers understand better understand the alcoholic. And I've highlighted the next two sentences. Many do not comprehend that the alcoholic is a very sick person. Right away, we got another new concept here. We are sick people. We're not weak. We're Not morally deficient. We' re not bad people. He didn't say that. He said we are very sick people. Yeah, we are. We have a threefold illness, spiritual, mental, and physical. That's pretty sick. So we're not bad people. And he says, and besides, we're sure that our way of life, a way of living has its advantages for all. Once again, way of loving, that our steps have its advantages for all. And think about that. Think about how many fellowships there are right now using these 12 steps. So when we say the 12 steps have saved millions of lives, that may be just for alcoholics. What about all the other fellowships? CA, OA, NA, DA, SA, and on and on. All these anonymous programs that are basing their recovery on our 12 steps. So yeah, our 12 Steps have us as managers for all. You don't have to be an alcoholic to have a spiritual awakening as a result of this work. I'm going to jump down. I'll skip the next paragraph. And the paragraph I'm gonna read begins with when writing or speaking publicly. Now, this is getting a little bit off the subject, but I think it's important. When writing—and it's all highlighted, this paragraph is highlighted in its entirety—when writing or speaking publicly—please, please underline that word, publicly—about alcoholism, we urge each of our fellowship to omit his personal name designating himself instead as quote a member of alcoholics anonymous and the reason why i wanted to talk about this for a minute is that somehow in our culture anonymity became secrecy i always in a meeting i identify myself as howard eber and i've gotten reactions from that that this is an anonymous program and you're not supposed to use your last name well i'm in a meeting here the tradition says at the level of press radio and film and i'm not on tv and i'M NOT MAKING A MOVIE I'M NOT ON THE RADIO I'M SURROUNDED BY ALCOHOLICS IT DOESN'T SAY NOT TO USE MY LAST NAME IN THOSE CONDITIONS AND THEN I'M GOING TO READ TO YOU SOMETHING FROM DR. BOB IN THE GOOD OLD TIMERS Dr. Bob's thoughts about this, and Dr. Bob didn't do much writing, but this is something he wrote in the February, it was published in the February 1969 grapevine, long after he had passed. He wrote since our tradition on anonymity designates the exact level where the line should be held, it must be obvious to anyone who can read and understand the English language that to maintain anonymity at any other level is a violation of this tradition. The AA member who hides his identity from his fellow AAs by using only his first name violates the tradition just as much as the AA who permits his name to appear in the press in connection with matters pertaining to AA. The former is maintaining his anonymity above the level of press, radio, and film, and the latter is maintaining its anonymity below the level of press radio and film. Whereas the tradition states we should maintain our anonymity at the level of press radio and film Now I'm not saying go out and use your last name. It's entirely up to you But when you get these people who don't understand and tell you, well, it's against their traditions, it's not. Unless I'm on radio, press, and film, we're amongst ourselves here. Flyers, for example, flyers that put out about various meetings, it is my feeling that they shouldn't have last names on it because that's at the level of press, radio, and film but it's your truth do what you got to do when i'm asked i tell i please use my last initial in the flyer but you could tell people the last name why not why not um i hate to do this um because this is so important uh the forward to the second edition is chock full of history what i always like to do is the next week start on the doctor's opinion just out of curiosity a kind of a show of hands what if i started next week and we quickly reviewed this forward to the second edition the history that's so important in there and show of hand of people who would like us to do that okay looks good all right i won't take the whole meeting up but it's so important that second chapter that set that forward to the second edition and if you'd like to get a step ahead do this one of the handouts that you received looks like this if i can get it here it is there it is okay it's called the akron connection the akran connection in the birth of alcoholics anonymous it's in your handouts if you didn't get it send me an email i'll send it to you or wait till it's published on recovery speakers, you'll see it there. Okay? This tells the story of what we're going to be talking about next week to a great extent. The Akron Connection and the Birth of Alcoholics Anonymous. It's about three pages long. It includes a revision, which we'll talk about next week, the accuracy of the birth date of Alcoholic Anonymous, the question that it brings up, but read that for next week. And we'll start by reviewing that next week and then we'll go on to the doctor's opinion. We do have a few minutes. Let me open it up. There's a lot of hands. Let's talk about that for a while. I'm going to hang out, but we'll stop at a certain point and wrap it up and then come back and stay around. So John, who's first? I am. Sorry, Howard. i had a question in the in the chat that was asking where in dr bob's book were you reading that information from what page that's in dr bobs uh 264 to 265 and dr bob and the good old timers page 264 i usually say that i'm so sorry i always try and point that out page 264265 and Dr. Bob and the good old-timers. Thank you. I didn't know it was there. I stumbled into it one day, and wow, that just turned on a couple of light bulbs for me. Who's next? Joel and Miami. Joel. I'm an alcoholic. My problem is Joel. Just as a thought, when you were talking about recovered, meaning ED, um i've always thought of ed and just like a disease in the medical terms meaning is an acute your disease is acute and chronic when i'm recovered ed i'm in the chronic stage because it'll never not be there but it's acute i have the symptoms in other words it's an active stage and i think that's that's how i explain that to people up you know perfect i think we're talking about the same thing just different yeah oh yeah why not disagree at all perfect oh no totally the same mention that i'm gonna use that thank you uh who's next elisa p giselle p gisella oh gisell giselles hello i'm an alcoholic my name is gisello thank you howard how are you darling this is unbelievably great um i you did not mention in the first the forward uh anything about the honest desire to stop drinking i don't know if you want to mention that at all well again i can't cover everything uh i mean i'm trying to skip through and save some time, but yes, that is in that page XIV. Again, Roman numeral 14. It says the only requirement for membership is an honest desire to stop drinking. You know, we can trust people's motives. They're not going to tell us what to do, you know, when we come in here. They'RE going to show us what they've done. If we want to quit drinking, we CAN join them by doing what they did. And I think that's all that that means. I'm not crazy about the honest business, because when I came in here, I didn't have an... Forget about honest. I did not have a desire to stop. I came In here thinking, I got to learn how to shoot drugs and drink like a civilized human being and not wind up in jail or in the hospital every time I do this. And what better place to go than to a bunch of alcoholics and addicts you guys could teach me how to do it right i just been doing it wrong yep that's the way i came in right so if you told me if you don't have an honest desire you got to get out of here i'd have been out of there okay who's next tommy k tommy k's video my name is tommie i'm an alcoholic uh thank you howard i just wanted to ask about um you you share briefly on on cured then you said the disease is gone um is cured something that we should we should talk about or say my belief is no um we're not cured uh for what it's worth um i was going to show this next week but when they were thinking of a book cover for the book this was one of the possibilities they considered you see what says in the corner the pathway to a cure it's one ofthe reasons why they didn't use this book cover it was drawn by the same artist who did the what they call the circus cover that red cover later but uh i think that word cured is the problem we're not cured we're never cured so we get into recovered because bill uses it a lot i don't think the word cured is in here anywhere in the book thank you howard okay thank you michelle j michelle hello howard thank you so much this is my second round i'm just but i didn't i missed the beginning thank you i'm a recovered alcoholic listen the the study guide you said it was red is it called the little red book study guide no no this book oh well it's not we're confusing two things there was that tiny little book the uh little redbook that was the study version you know that that carol's holding up from like the third the 40s that's not what i'm suggesting patrice has one what i'M SUGGESTING IS THIS STUDY VERSION OF THE BIG BOOK IT JUST SAYS THAT STUDY EDITION SEE AND IT'S PUBLISHED BY ANONYMOUS PRESS AND AS YOU CAN SEE IT'S GOT A BLANK PAGE EVERY OTHER PAGE FOR NOTES WE'RE GOING TO BE TAKING A LOT OF NOTES TRUST ME YOU WON'T BE able to fit them in the margin if you could fit all my notes in the margin i'm not doing my job so get plenty of room get white out because i keep whiting shit out and writing over it if it wasn't for whiteout and post-its i mean look at what this book looks like whiteout post-it's all over the place it's ridiculous so thank you we have Bob Hickey next okay Bob Hickie great can you hear me yep Bob Hicky grateful recovered alcoholic I don't have a question I just wanted to make a comment on Wednesdays we have an AA history group and right now we're reading AA comes of age but our next book is Dr. Bob and the good old timers and Howard usually puts the flyer up for it sometime so if you're interested reading that book. It's Tuesday, Wednesday at 2 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. Great meeting. I just ran out of, I ran out a runway, Bob. I'm sorry. We ran out time. We miss you. Carol. Hi, everybody. I'm an alcoholic and my name is Carol. Thanks, Howard. You know, I love Dr. Bob and the good old timers. And we weren't anonymous when we were drinking. And, you know, back when I got sober in 88 we had paid for phone books so we couldn't if we said our whole name because you couldn't look up carol ellen a phone book you know and so we said her name or on a phone list there might be three carols and we have to do that and i think that's really important and i'm so glad that you're doing this program and one thing i didn't do in my big book i i did what you did i highlighted did it some things were like yellow with pink over and then it became orange but I wished I wrote the date when when I would read the big book and something struck me different or I was aware of it and so I just wanted to throw that out there so maybe somebody when you're reading the big book if you see something different like I'd see new things in the big books all the time and I'll put the date or the top of page 100 where those promises come true that are beyond our imagination that are remarkable I would write like just the date and a couple words you know so I would remember that like I think the first one was a kiss from Willie Nelson as a valentine wish so I wrote 289 Willie Nelson and then I would Remember the story great good idea thank you Carol great good Idea who's next Jennifer's iPhone who is that Jennifer's iphone is the next person whatever his iphone you're muted jen still muted okay hi we're good hey listen liz from houston caught this as well as did i on page 85 of the bid book it says what we are not cured of alcoholism what we have is a daily reprieve contingent contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition and you taught me that in the first round howard here we go so that is my favorite sayings i love this group this is such a knowledgeable group it is just so deep and experience and knowledge and wisdom and wow so if anyone wants to write down page 85 It's a really great. Yep. We'll get there. Joel, I'm again from Miami. I'm an alcoholic and my problem is Joel again. That that comment made about the only requirement for membership is an honest desire. If I'm correct, what you exactly said was Howard is the exact reason why that word honest was removed in the later editions. i think so yeah i mean they agree with you nobody liked the word honest for the exact reason you gave yep makes sense thanks joel who's that again i think i think we got a couple wait some hands were up before i think carly was up and katie and becca were up for some of these no no okay i'll go with you john whatever and i'm just doing it in the order that that they've come up in so giselle then carly okay gisell hello i just want to point something out else out and the um forward that they you know talk about not being opposed to anybody and i think that was against um the oxford group because the oxford group got involved in prohibition and all of that um and kicked people out if they relapsed so um i think that's real important too yep we're gonna get to that we're going to talk a lot about the oxra groups in the next okay i just wanted to make a comment yeah thank you that's great carly was next hi howie hi guys amazing group tonight um so yeah i know that when this started um when we did the first round and it was it was called a disease and it was classed as an illness fact in 1983 by the world health organization and it says here that the illness is something that needs to be managed such as feelings of pain discomfort distress weakness fatigue and disease is something That Needs To Be Cured so as you said about the curing this can't be cured but it can be managed so it would be classed As An Illness And Not A Disease because that's something that someone picked me up on the other week when we said about dis-ease the feeling of irritable restlessness and discontent and they said it's not classed as a disease it used to be but now it's classed an illness what do you think of that is that a little bit deep um i don't know i try not to get too deep into those things you know whatever word makes you comfortable i like the word uh um condition um malady you know it kind of gets away from that i don't want to get bogged down into discussion on is it an illness is it a disease it's a malady let's go on from there that's all doesn't matter to me hey Kathy Kathy yeah hi my name is Kathy McKeague I'm an alcoholic thanks Howard and the word recovered um do you not get to say that until you have got to step 10 I don't I never I don'T think so no because I I again if if my definition of recovered is the symptoms of my disease are no longer present, then I don't have to wait till step 10 to say that. I'm not drinking. I're not blowing off work. I'M NOT WRECKING CARS. I' m actually showing up for appointments. You know, I'M not a source of chaos to everybody around me. These are symptoms of my disease that are not present it's your truth but uh you know i don't use the word a lot but i don'T i waiting till the 10th step i those kind of rules bother me i'm not crazy about that kind of stuff so if you do say that after when you say your name in a meeting and someone gives you a bit of guff especially the old-timers like and you don't have a big book on you because you're online like what do you do like i mean it's kind of hard when no one else has said it well again there's a way to practice acceptance you don't know what you don't Know Kathy and there's A Way To Diplomatically Compassionately Patiently State The Way That We Feel About It That According To The Big Book Of Alcoholics Anonymous They Use The Word On The Front Page And That'S A Promise And I I'M Okay Using It Because It'S explained on the next page that it's a the this hopeless state of mind and condition of spirit and mind condition doesn't exist so i i'm not hopeless anymore if you're not comfortable using the word you don't have to use it but the big book uses it not i don't know yeah you know i that's why there's a polite way to tell them that that just look read the book yeah i don't have my personal opinion like for me i don t it's just um i i yeah my i would rather say not because of the feedback you know but i appreciate thanks for clearing that up okay thank you 17 times in the first 103 pages the word recovered there you go uh becca faulkner is our next person yeah that has actually just answered part of what i was saying the um recovered word um because i've got a recollection somewhere in the book it actually says recovered from a sea seamanist slave uh state of body and mind right that's what we just read that's where it's on the very first page on the forward to the first edition. It starts with that sentence, that we of Alcoholics Anonymous are more than 100 men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. You don't even have to read the whole book. Just tell these knuckleheads, read page one. You know, you don't have to read the full book. You don' t have to read the whole book, just page one, can you handle that much? Anita is next up, Anita. Anita, you're muted. Still muted. There you go. Okay. Thank you. I had a question from Stu in the UK wanting to know if we can post the Back to Basics meeting that comes up at midnight for them? I have one. I posted Bill Simon's one. is that not the one you're looking for well hang around after the meeting i'll put it up i'll put up the one i have any of the flyers that i get i'm going to have on facebook i don't have the space or the time to show them all here so i'm gonna cherry pick some of them but everyone that you guys send me will be on the facebook page by tomorrow so if i didn't have the right back to basics posted i will on the facebook page i promise uh let's do this it's 6 30 here let's wrap it up and then i'll stay afterwards and we'll continue i know rick and joel and eddie and roy and sonia we all have hands up well let's just kind of let other people go if they want Let's just wrap it up. David, do you have somebody to read our way out? David, you're muted. Still muted. Our Facebook page is called The Big Book Comes Alive Step Workshop. Thank you. Thank you, Howard. this is on page 162 paragraph two they said to us the book if you want a basic text is meant to be suggestive only they said they realized they only know only a little god will constantly disclose more to you and to us ask him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for a man who is still sick the answers will come if your own house is in order but obviously you cannot transmit something you haven't got see to it that your relationship with him is right and great events will come to pass for you and countless others this is the great fact for us abandon yourself to God as you understand God admit your faults to him and to your fellows clear away the way of what you find and join us we shall be with you in the fellowship of the spirit we'll surely meet God bless you and keep you. Amen. I'm going to close with the Our Father prayer, if you'd like to join in. Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Thank you, Howard. Thank you everyone. Thank you Howard and everyone else. Thank you. i promise you it will not be like this after this this is a confusing part um i've been leaving out the table of contents the last few times for that reason and i think i'm going to abandon it again from now on because it's it's too complicated it's a pain in the ass so i'm gonna we'll do without that, but it will not be a house of confusion. Everybody who's been part of the workshop will know more. Just go to mute everyone, Howard. Thank you. I just wanted everyone to hear that it's going to be much easier to follow. Why is radio still playing? in any case it's going to be much smoother ask anybody who's been in the workshop before it's just bouncing around on the table of contents page that's aggravating i promise you it will not be anything like that so if you're thinking and not coming back because it's too confusing and we bounce around give me one more week give me a week I promise thank you all you got it Howard Howard it's Lars thank you Howard God bless you thank you tolerance kindness and love thank you very much Howard thanks brother great meeting buddy David and John our patient that was such a demonstration of patience, tolerance, kindness and love that thing good night everybody he had some friends John bye Eddie John who was first it was Eddie but he's gone now so it's Rick from Florida how you doing my friend my name is rick i'm an alcoholic i uh don't know how many of those people are left that had the problem with recovered but this is my way of understanding it back in 1979 i went to work and a real dusty dirty job they didn't have a dust mask well i breathed in this dust and got pneumonia well i completely recovered from that and 40 years later i got around someone who had pneumonia and i inhaled something and you know taking care of them and i got sick with pneumonia again and again i'm recovered of it so if i stay away from places i'm not supposed to be and i keep away from people i'mnot supposed tobe with i might be able to be recovered from alcoholism if i keep doing the right thing well put thank you i like that joel and miami again yeah i'm an alcoholic my problem is joel uh on that on there on that last comment about recovery as to where in the big book and and and after what step uh bill w specifically in the 12 and 12 talks about at the at the 10th step he and we've now finished nine steps and he says we're now that we've done this we are so we've achieved sobriety we've recovered now let's deal with the next big problem which is emotional sobriete and he goes on to 11 and 12 and that's that's that's out of the 12 and 12 yeah thanks joel great group great group who's next okay roy howard how you doing hello everybody how you're doing we're doing from i'm living in florida but from the bronx you know oh yeah all right this is how i explain that recovered and recovering on both okay you know page 64 says that our liquor is but a symptom page 20 says uh doubtless you're curious to discover how and why in the face of an expert opinion to the contrary we have recovered which according i was explained to me recovered means regained health of mind and body and it says we have covered from a hopeless condition of mind and party and it says if you're an alcoholic wants to get over it you may be asking what do i have to do blah blah blah uh but on page going back to page 64 it says resentment is a spiritual malady resentment Resentment stems all forms of spiritual dis-ease, and my selfishness, self-centeredness comes out in resentment, fear, and inconsiderateness to another human being. I don't consider any human being other than myself, so that's why I'm writing a resentment list, a fear list, and a conduct list. The conduct list actually introduces me to the word inconsiderate on page 69. I thought it was about sex, but the joke was on me. It was about my conduct, which means behaves slash acts, which means my inconsiderateness to another human being. So, you know, but that I'm going to be working on the condition of my spirit for the rest of my life. So that's how I say I'm recovering because, and I also say I've recovered because I don't have the mind that says drink answer, drink solution. solution and therefore i'm not putting it in my body so therefore i'M NOT SUFFERING FROM THE ALLERGY CRAVING IN A FORM OF ANALOGY RIGHT UM BUT AS FAR AS UM IF I'M NOT WORKING ON MY FIT SPIRITUAL CONDITION SOBER I CAN GET RESENTMENTS I CAN Get FEAR AND I CAN BE I CAN DISPLAY misconduct to my fellow human beings so that's how that's how i i explain it because does that make sense yeah yeah it just looks to you sure recovered from alcoholism yep i mean i have recovered from the symptoms because the book says it's all the mind and the body are only symptoms you know the mental obsession and a physical craving in the form of an allergy right an allergy abnormal reaction right in the forma of a craving so you know but as far is my fifth spiritual condition i'll be working on that to the day i die no matter how much time i have if i'm not in fit spiritual condition if i're not working prayer meditation working with somebody else if i'M NOT WORKING ON MYSELF IN THAT AREA WITH MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY HIGHER POWER I CAN STILL GO BACK TO YOU KNOW BEING AN IDIOT OR OR RESENTMENT OR FEAR OR I CAN I CAN GO AROUND and stepping on everybody's toes. You know, so I think he's relating to it. Thanks, Roy. Before we get to the other hands, I noticed Clara made it here. Clara from Costa Rica, you found a way to get on here? You got that solved? God bless you. I've been here since the very beginning, so I got it solved, Jess. Thank you. I'm glad to be here. You're going to have after the meeting being able to ask for sponsors and things? Yeah. Okay. Everyone, thanks. I have to leave. Thank you! Okay. Thankyou. Yes, stick around if you need a sponsor or if you want sponsees. Please stick around. Who's got the next question? On your doorstep, UK. my um hello howard hi my friend he always says hi this is not his name this is another one hi my name's john and i'm a recovered alcoholic recovered never cured contingent on the maintenance of a daily program what is it how does it go anyway and that's what how he introduced himself he explains it as he introduced himself so i say recovered never cured and that's about it sounds right it's a lot of a lot OF baggage to carry into every meeting and have to say all if i look up what page it's on very worried yeah next mike s mike hey hey howard thank you hey mike uh yeah i just wanted to uh this is a question for you and joe so when joe was talking about the there are no dues or fees or dues or whatever whatsoever the only comment for membership is john's desire to stop drinking and it was said that it was only a fourth edition but I got all four editions I got actually second edition from my sponsor when she passed away and then I got the written I went through them and all of them says honest desire to stop drinking well in that section it does but I think you're referring to the actual preamble oh right i don't think that appears in the preample anymore no i'm not i'm never referring to that at all the only requirement for a is a desire to stop drinking now in the free amble i think that might even still be there that i don' t know i'm referring to our traditions and and and the concept traditions in the steps it is no longer requirement to be an AA to have an honest desire. The only requirement is a desire to stop drinking. Right. The very first edition, which is the only forward you were referring to, which only applies to the first edition. They had the worst honest desire in there. Yeah. And it was removed because of the objections that you voiced. Okay. Right. Okay. Who's that? Now, it's not in the traditions anywhere. as a requirement that I know of and if whoever just spoke has the other editions it's not in there in the traditions that I'm familiar with that I know of the traditions are at the back of the book in the appendix the traditions and concepts and the tradition says tradition three is the only requirement for membership in AA is a desire okay there's a couple of anyone else here Mitchell you got a thought on that Chris, John any of my historians here Bob I use the word recovered always have I don't go into a whole explanation the same way I don' t have to defend AA that AA works i just say i'm recovered and if you don't you know if you don't like it i'm sorry but uh that's what my book tells me to say they were they were questioning the honest desire to stop using the honest desire the word honest they couldn't find an honest alcoholic i mean yes i'm looking at it it's by page 562 of the big book okay number three the only requirement for a membership is a desire to stop you go in the actual tradition thank you joel that answers it beautiful all right who's next jody ed jody hi sorry i've got a one and a half year old who's having a meltdown so hopefully we can get through this. Thank you so much, Howard. I've been looking forward to starting this study since you spoke at the Princeton Primary Purpose Group a few weeks back. I'm really looking forward to joining you guys and I'm so grateful for this opportunity. I followed you really well through the table of contents and the stories but I saw when you were showing you have a lot more detail in there and I know you had said something about sharing that information either in a handout that you were going to post or on the facebook group i wondered if if not just what you shared tonight but if you if you'd be willing to share everything you have like maybe a photo of your uh table of contents page or something like that well um let me post the what i what i was referring to and if it doesn't answer your question ask me you got my email i just thebigbookstudy at AOL.com or call me and I'll get you more that's okay take a look and if it doesn't answer the question we'll get more perfect thank you so much say goodnight bye Howard this is Joel a quick question I sent you an email at 1115 today at bookstudyataol.com asking to be put on your list so I get the materials and I didn't get them yet now I know that was only 11 today no that's the wrong address the address is The Big Book Study oh my gosh TheBigBookStudy at AOL.com ok thank you for the better ask All emails that came in up to about 3 o'clock today, I answered. Okay, terrific. I'll send it out. And then when I do that, you'll send the first today's as well? Yeah, absolutely. Okay, I'd appreciate it. Thank you. Absolutely. I'll do it right now. Thank you, Daniel C. Richter. Daniel? Good afternoon, everyone. My name is Daniel. I'm an alcoholic. Thanks, Howard, for the first session. I really enjoyed that. I'll be in it for the hardcore. I've posted a link for the anonymous press study edition of Alcoholics Anonymous. For those that haven't seen it in the chat box, the postage is very cheap to the United Kingdom. It works out at around about £11, $14, $15, including postage for a used version. I wanted to ask you, well, more for the historians, really. We were talking about words, and why did Bill W. not use the word surrender in the big book and the 12 and 12 out of curiosity? Why do they think? Let's open it up. Any thoughts? I mean, Chris, you got your hand up too. You want to address that as well as whatever the question was? You know, sure. Thanks, Howard. My name is Chris, and I'm an alcoholic. You know, it's a funny thing about the requirement for membership, because many alcoholics wouldn't qualify using a desire to stop drinking as a qualifier for membership in Alcoholics Anonymous, because we're not drinking. You know? I don't have a desire To Stop Drinking. I haven't had a drink in 31 years. I have a Desire Not To Start Drinking, you know? So when you get deeper into the literature, I remember this one section where it says it's just not possible to make an AA member out of a non-alcoholic. So it's a given, basically, that AA membership is reserved for alcoholics. Now, the tricky thing about that is understanding what alcoholism is and being able to fully concede to your innermost self that you are alcoholic. And some of us need time to do that, you know? So I think the door's open just as wide as it needs to be in Alcoholics Anonymous for us to figure out just what the hell's going on. That was what my thought was, Howard. okay but i just daniel was asking about uh why the word surrender was wasn't used is that right i that's right the other thing was as well on your contents i've added on pages 13 and the top of 14 all the 12 steps are on that page and i've adding that to my content section okay um howard yeah one of the things as far as you're talking about in the 12 and 12 surrender um the three people who pretty much did most of the work on on the 12th and 12th was was um bill um tom powers and harry tebow harry Tebow was more into the psychological deflation at depth theory as opposed to surrender which was more of the uh religious spiritualist you know type of thing um i loved it and i'm sorry they took it out but john parr's story the professor in the paradox one of the paradoxes in his story that is mentioned was that you have to surrender to win and and i feel real bad that they took that thing out of there because those paradoxes are a truism for a okay i say for what it's worth daniel to me the difference is that concession is absolute total unconditional surrender so there's surrender i surrendered plenty of times but i never conceded till i was you know 24 years in two relapses and the verge of suicide. So, surrender wasn't good enough. Germany surrendered after World War I, but they were left with resentments after World Wars I. They were angry about being blamed for things. They were guilty about being blamed, so they decided to shift the blame onto other people like my people, and they were filled with guilt and shame. So they had to resolve those things, so we had World War II, after which they conceded. Concessions, absolute, total, unconditional surrender if that answers it i don't know yeah it's to admit defeat isn't it defeat yes yeah thanks for who's who's the next question we got a couple more we've got howie b chris do you still have your hand up oh okay howie hey thanks howard how are you alcoholic good to be here so uh howard i got a question for you since you uh touched upon the 12 and 12 briefly on page 17 about that uh the 12 and 12 was actually just a reinforcement but the actual directions are in the big book of alcoholics anonymous why is it then in bill's essay in step four on page 50 when he says now willing to commence the search for his own defects just how do i go about this how do I take an inventory of myself And instead of Bill saying, well, the answer is you go back to our original textbook where the clear-cut directions are laid out, he gets into some additional look-see at character defects from different angles. I'm curious if anyone has ever thought of or any of the historians have ever looked at why when he says how do I take an inventory of myself in the 12 and 12 on page 50, why does he not refer back to the big book? well i i maybe he's taking it out of context that paragraph is talking about you know some of the newcomer arriving at some of these conclusions that maybe don't make a lot of sense so he's asking you know how do i take inventory so the way he's answering it is by telling him why i guess not how so much as why i i don't it's an interesting question i don't know any thoughts on that any you guys have a thought on that may i yeah yeah it's my understanding that the the sa's on the steps was mainly written by tom powers um who ended up having a fight with bill about the set of womanizing and tom powers went to uh start essay sex anonymous and uh because the fourth step is more geared towards the seven deadly sins and it's got it has a more um sex sexual tone is that the proper language um but it's it's more sex conduct in the in the fourth step in the in the essays in the 12 and 12 but from what i understand tom powers mainly wrote that and the reason why bill added it was because the traditions was only so so thin nobody was going to buy that book so he put the the essays on the on the steps in there with it and now we have 12 steps 12 traditions uh just curious mitchell chris any thoughts on that why he didn't take advantage of the question and answer how do i take a fourth step why he didn't go ahead and tell him it i mean for me i i there's no definitive answer on that because bill's not around to ask um my my feeling is is that you know the previous gentleman said is that you know you know filling up a book by just referring back to the big book why would it when um when if you just keep referring back to the big book nobody want to read it 12 and 12 because it was just everything i mean i feel everything should go back to the big when it comes to the steps um i personally prefer the little red book as an interpretive commentary um i i don't like that 12 and12 it's too i don't know too psychological for me it's not it's not you know as much aa program as i mean it says it in there it says is that it's an interpretive commentary on the program by a co-founder that's what it says in the big book so um if i'm going to use an interpretive commentary i would prefer the one dr bob helped write which was a little red book and um and that's what i always recommend to people okay okay yeah uh you know it's it's that that really is an interesting question i agree i agree with mitchell uh that would have been poor form to keep referring back to the big book but there's there's always an economic motivation i think uh i think with bill with the writing of these books too and i think it was probably important for him uh for this book to actually sell I think I think that was his living by that time you know his publishing so uh so there's always that motivation yeah wow makes sense but before we go on to the last few questions we're slowly but surely losing people here and Clara you needed a sponsor Clara did you want to did you need a sponsor I need a sponsor I do okay and I've quickly I just I've been sober since 1983 I got sober on Long Island near Manhattan in a step group and I'd never really done the big book it just sort of wasn't there so I'm so happy to finally after 38 years actually doing putting the foundations together instead of having them they've always been presented here and there and here and there but never as a as a compact whole so I'm so grateful to be here so I need a sponsor who's a good sponsor well Clara can you put your phone number in the chat there's a couple quite a few ladies here who are well qualified to do that if you put your phone number in there i guarantee you'll get calls from some people hey howard have you read the introduction of the little red book may be helpful for some of these questions you're getting uh i read from it in the beginning that's one of the things i read in the begining which one are you what are you referring to just the introduction where it says what the purpose of the interpretation is? Well, what I read was that they created a solidarity of understanding. Is that what you're referring to? Solidarity of understanding, closer adherence to the big book. That's... Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. Yeah, I read from the introduction. Study it repeatedly. This book has all our answers. i would yes i'm gonna have to go now because it's my bedtime yeah go ahead goodbye john and we'll see you all in a week thank you for another wonderful meeting we got one or two hands left i see marianne and jenny and then we can back up you ready for me howard yep okay thanks i'm marianna i'm an alcoholic and uh i'm i'm recovering from nasal surgery so it's a little tough for me to talk, but I just wanted to, I think that this is really great. And like Clara had said, you know, next month I'll be celebrating 39 years and nobody ever took me through the big book in all these years. I had numerous sponsors and yes, I did do the steps with my sponsor, but not like this and and i think we've already talked about that but what i'd like to have you reconsider to implore you to reconsider about uh what you said about eliminating this introductory piece because number one if you remember i don't know one of the things i teach is public speaking and when you're putting together a presentation the preview is a very important piece and i think from not only as a recovering alcoholic in learning this but also from um a presentation learning type of thing the learning objectives are a very important foundational piece in any kind of learning. And the way you go through the introduction, it acts as a preview which sets a very firm foundation for the remainder of the session. So if I could just ask you to reconsider about that. the only thing i might say is to warn the new people that bear with me this can be a little bit tedious but it's really important that we set the foundation because the foundation is the roots and the roots are what holds up the tree and the deeper the roots when the roots or deep this this tree will bend with the winds of the storm right so that was all i wanted to bring up thank you excellent point wonderful marianne thank you there was who was the next one jenny was next i'm sorry and i thank you very much for this