The Doctor’s Opinion – Big Book Step Study – Part 1 of 2 – Joe M.

Thank you Keith. You'll get a chance to look at his name tag and see what's on it. It says available. I don't know for what. But my name is Joe and I'm an alcoholic. And it's truly by God's grace and the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous and the program of Alcoholic Anonymous that comes from a book called Alcoholics Anonymous. I'm sober today, and for that I'm very, very thankful. And I'd like to read the preamble, please. Alcoholics Enormous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and to help others to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is the desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for AA membership. We're self-supporting through our own contributions. AA is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution. It does not wish to engage in any controversy, neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and to help other alcoholics achieve sobriety. And I'm very excited about being here this weekend. Are you? Yes! Good. We're going to have a lot of fun. I'm going to tell you a little story before we kick it off about this little duck. He goes into the grocery store, and he asks for the produce manager. He walks over to the produce management and says, do you have any grapes this morning? The produce manager said, no, we're out of grapes. So the next day he walks in there, and they said, do we have any grape this morning. He said, No, we don't have any Grape's. The next morning he walks and he said, Do you have a Grape? He said I've told you twice now, we dont have any Grapes. One more time, I dont have a any Gapes. If you come in here one more time looking for Grapese, I'm going to staple your feet to the floor. so the next morning he walks in and he said do you have any staples he said no so you got any grapes my friend Charlie are you through my name is Charlie Parman I'm a very grateful recovering alcoholic because I'm a member of the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous and with the grace of the power that I found in the 12-step program of Alcoholics Anonymous, I haven't found it necessary to take a drink for 13,134 days today, one day at a time. And for this, I'm very grateful. Great to see you guys. You look great. You know, I am really, really happy to be back up in this part of the country and see a lot of old friends that I have known for years and years and year. It really amazes me when these things take place. I'm glad to be up here to be able to meet a lot of new friends. Those of you I haven't met yet, I sure want to shake your hand before the weekend's over. Please, please be sure and come up to us wherever we are and introduce yourselves and let's shake hands and make each other welcome. We're really, really glad to быть hier. I like to tell a little joke myself once in a while. And we try to do this to get some humor started and keep people laughing once in a while, and if we tell a joke and it isn't funny, go ahead and laugh anyhow. Makes us feel better, makes you feel better and makes everybody else feel better. The story I like talk about, many of you have heard it before, is about the brain surgeon. And the brain surgeon developed a way to transplant the human brain in its entirety, been doing it with other organs of the body for years. He found a way to do it with the brain. And this older fellow went to him and said, Doc, I've got a problem with my brain. I can't think and I can'T remember and I CAN'T figure things out. Do you think you might be able to help me? The surgeon said, Well, let's give you a physical exam first and see what kind of shape your body's in. So he gave him a good physical, and he said, Oh, yeah, your body is in great shape. He said, I believe I could transplant a brain in your head and everything would be just fine. The old man said, Well, what do you have to offer? And the surgeon said, Let's go up in the display room and I'll show you what we have in stock at the present time. They go up into the displayroom, and they said, In this case over here, I have the brains of an attorney. And he said, I could transplant this in your head and I'm sure it would be all right. And it'll cost you $20,000. The old man said, well, do you have anything else? And the surgeon said, oh yeah. In this case over here, I have the brains of a doctor. He said, if I could transplant this in Your head, I'm sure everything would be great. It'll cost You $50,000 The old Man said, will you have Anything else? And he Said, oh Yeah. In this Case over Here, I've Got the Brains of An Alcoholic He said, I could transplant this in your head Everything would be great It'll cost you $100,000 The old man said, I don't understand this deal $20,000 for the attorney's brain $50,000 $50.000 For the doctor's brain And $100.000 For the alcoholic's brain The surgeon said, Why, hell yes, man It's brand new It's never been used before I think most of us will go to the grave with about 50,000 miles left on the original warranty we never did touch. Gail, thank you for that presentation. I've seen a lot of presentations on AA history, and I don't mind saying right here in front of God and all these people, that's the best I've ever seen. You did a good job. She has retired from school teaching. She loves to travel. And I have a feeling she's getting ready to start doing a lot of it too. When people start hearing about this and seeing about it, you're going to be a very busy lady. That's great. We always like to say as we start one of these things that we do not consider ourselves to be the gurus of the Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous. Don't consider ourselves To be the experts on anything at all. We're just two old drunks, met together several years ago, found we had a mutual interest in the Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous. We've studied it together for quite some time. Hopefully, we've learned a few things about it. And those few things we've loved and learned about it, we just love to be able to share them with other people. We do not attempt to speak for AA as a whole. And you are most certainly free to agree or disagree with anything that we say throughout the entire weekend, as you see fit. In fact, if you hear us saying things that can't be reconciled with what's in the big book, we suggest you just don't pay any attention to those things at all. And we'll try to keep most of our comments centered on the book itself. We are fully aware of the fact that the mind will only absorb about what the rear end will stand. And some of these sessions do become quite long. and if you feel the need to get up and walk around a little bit please feel free to do that that's not going to bother us at all if you feels the need to go smoke a cigarette get a cup of coffee please feel the need to go get rid of a cup of coffee please feel free to do that there's no sense in anybody sitting there suffering in silence we're going to try to keep this thing just as informal as we possibly can I don't know about you guys But Joe and I intend to have a good time And hopefully you're going to have A good time too during the weekend That's what we're all after By the way, we're not going to take a break tonight Because we'll just be here too late So we're going try to go all the way through The doctor's opinion before we finish tonight Okay, now Gail gave us a Good rundown On the history of the Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous We always like to go back and look at just a little bit of that history ourselves. And if we can really see and understand what these first AA people had to go through before the big book was written and while it was being written, I think it will make it a lot easier to understand the book itself. So we're going to look at a littlebit of the history that comes right out of the book. And if you guys are ready, let's go to Roman numeral number 15, XV. and let's go to the last paragraph on that page and we'll spend just a few minutes talking about a little bit of our history behind the book. There's one thing that helped me when I noticed this in Bill's writings and he does the same thing in all of his writings. So anytime you read things that Bill wrote, he does three particular things each and every time. First of all, he'll tell us what the problem is. He'll give us a solution to that problem. then he'll give us a practical program of action to implement the solution that he just described. He does it over and over andover. Lack of power, that was my dilemma for a second. Can you hear me now? Okay. Bottom of the page, Roman Newman, page 15. The spark that was to flare in the first AA group was struck at Akron, Ohio, in June 1935 during a talk between a New York stockbroker and an Akron physician. Of course, we know the New York stockbroker is this fellow named Bill Wilson. I think we're treating him pretty good when we call him a New York Stockbroker. He really wasn't. He was a New Yor-New York City stock speculator. He made his living out of selling fast talking to slow thinking people. We don't want to take anything away from Bill Wilson, he was a great man. But we all need to understand he's a real alcoholic, just like all the rest of us. and he thought and he acted the same way all we alcoholics do. Of course, we know the Akron physician is this doctor named Dr. Bob Smith who lived in Akron, Ohio. Six months earlier, the broker had been relieved by his drink obsession by a sudden spiritual experience following a meeting with an alcoholic friend who had been in contact with the Oxford groups of that day. Later on when we get into Bill's story, we're going to see where Bill had a meeting with an alcoholic friend, a fellow named Ebi Thatcher. And Ebi Thatcher was an old school friend buddy of Bill's. They did a lot of drinking together. And Evi Thatcher came to Bill in Bill's kitchen and gave him what turned out to be two very vital pieces of information. Ebi said to Bill, Bill, people like you and I that have become absolutely powerless over alcohol, if we're going to recover from that condition, We're going to have to do it through the aid of a power greater than human power. He said, we've all tried all human powers, the doctors, the ministers, and et cetera, and it hadn't worked for any of us. And he said, I've been attending meetings with a group of people called the Oxford Groupers, and they told me that if I could have a vital spiritual experience, that during that vital spiritual experiment, I would find the power greater-than-human power. He said, also, Bill, they have outlined a practical program of action. And they promised me that if I would imply that practical program of action in my life, that I would find that power and I would be able to overcome my alcoholism. And he said, look at me, Bill. I've been sober for two months. And this made a great impression on Bill because he knew about E.B. Thatcher and he knew how E. B. drank. And he always said, if I ever get as bad as Ebi Thatcher, I'm going to quit drinking. And here's Ebi Thatcher sitting in Bill's kitchen, stone cold sober, and Bill is about two-thirds drunk himself at that time. And what Ebi really gave to Bill, first he gave him the solution to alcoholism, the vital spiritual experience during which we find the power greater than human power. then he also gave him the practical program of action necessary to be able to find or have that vital spiritual experience. So two of the things that Bill had to know came to him through Ebi Thatcher coming out of the Oxford groups themselves. But there was some other information that Bill had to go in order to recover from alcoholism. He had also been greatly helped by the late Dr. William D. Silkworth, the New York Specialist in Alcoholism, who is now a kind of no less than a medical saint by AA members and whose story of the early days of our society appears in the next pages. From this doctor, the broker to learn the grave nature of alcoholism. Again, when we get into Bill's story, we're going to see where as far back as the summer of 1933, Bill was placed in the town's hospital in New York City for withdrawal from alcohol by Dr. Silkworth. And after Bill's mind had cleared a little bit, Dr. Silkworth sat down with Bill and began to explain to him these ideas that he had gained about alcoholism. And he said, Bill, I do not believe alcoholism is a matter of willpower. I do Not believe it's a matter Of moral character. And he Said, I don't think sin's got anything To do with it. He said, I really believe people like you Are suffering from an illness. And he said it's a very peculiar illness. It's a two-fold illness, an illness of the body as well as an illness of the mind. And he says through my experiences with working with many people like you, I have become convinced that your body reacts differently when you put alcohol in your system. He said I really believe that when you putting the alcohol whatever into your body it produces an actual physical craving that demands more of the same and he said that craving is so strong that it's beyond your ability to control the amount you're going to drink after you once start drinking and he says because of this physical craving you will never again be able to safely drink alcohol but he said, that's only half of your problem. He said, I also believe that people like you have developed what we call an obsession of the mind. And he said, an obsession of the mine is an idea that overcomes all ideas to the contrary. And He said an obsession to the mind is an ideal is so strong it can make you believe a lie or believe something that isn't true. And they said, no, the truth is you can't safely drink alcohol and said, from time to time, you know you can't safely drink alcohol. And from time to time you swear off drinking saying that you'll never take another drink as long as you live. But he said, after a while your mind begins to think about taking a drink and the next thing you know, you've convinced yourself that it's okay to drink and then you'll take a drink and then you'll trigger the craving and then you'll end up drunk all over again. He said, you can no longer safely drink because of your body, nor can you stay sober because of the obsession of the mind. Therefore you have become absolutely powerless over alcohol. And for the first time in his life, Bill Wilson understood his problem. You see, he always thought it was willpower. He thought it was moral character. He thought it was sin. Why would he not? That's what everybody had told him up until that time. And when Dr. Silkworth gave him his information regarding this physical craving and this obsession of the mind, for the first time Bill understood his problem. And he said, now that I know what's wrong with me, I'll never have to drink again. Self-knowledge will fix it. And we know that shortly after Bill left that hospital. His mind told him it's okay to drink. Took a drink, triggered the allergy. A year later in 1934 in the summer back in the town's hospital for the second time and this time Dr. Silkworth pronounced him incurable and told Bill's wife Lois this guy is going to die during DTs or he's going to become a wet brain within a short period of time, and Bill overheard that. And he said the fear sobered him up for a bit when he left the hospital. But on Armistice Day 1934, his mind told him it's okay to drink. And he took a drink and triggered the craving and couldn't stop. And this is when Evie came to see him. So self-knowledge didn't fix the problem. It's very important that we know and understand the problem, but knowing about it doesn't fix it. It's only when Ebby brought him the solution, the vital spiritual experience, the program of action from the Oxford group that Bill was able to apply that program, had a spiritual experience and recovered from alcoholism. So basically he had to know three things. What is the problem? What is The Solution? And what is the program Of Action? and based on that, he could recover from alcoholism. He began to take Bill to these Oxford Group meetings and Bill liked the Oxford Group meeting. He really did. But a book said that though he could not accept all the tenets of the Oxford group, he was convinced of the need of moral inventory, confession of personality defects, restitution to those harmed, helplessness to others, and necessity of belief in and dependence upon God. He liked that idea about helping other people. But prior to his journey to Akron, he had worked hard with many alcoholics on the theory that only an alcoholic could help an alcoholic. But he succeeded only in keeping sober himself. So Bill set about to help all these alcoholics that he could find. He began to go up and down the streets and sign them up out of the gutter, take them to the Oxford group meetings. Sometimes he'd even go into a bar and pull them off the bar stool and take them. Most of them didn't want to go. But Bill was taking them anyhow because trying to help other people stay sober was helping Bill. And after about six months of this activity, he went back to Lois and said, Lois, no one seems to want what I have. And she said, well, I don't understand, Bill, but obviously you're trying to have those people help you stay sober, so maybe you talk to Dr. Silkworth. Maybe he can give you some ideas on that. So he went to see Dr. silkworth and told him, I've been trying to hep all these drunks stay sober but nobody seems to wan what I hae. and Dr. Silk would say, yeah, Bill, I've heard of some of those shenanigans you're pulling out there on the street. You're trying to shove that great spiritual experience down the throat of an alcoholic and they just won't buy it. He said, why don't you do for them what I did for you? Why don'tyou talk to them about the illness of alcoholism? Explain to themabout the allergy of the body and the obsession of the mind. And ifthey will accept that, then maybe you can talk tothem about your spiritual flashes that you had. he said bill every alcoholic i know has two questions number one why can't i drink like i used to without getting drunk and number two why canít i quit drinking now that i want to quit and he said if you will explain to them this craving that occurs in the body after you have a drink if you would explain to him the obsession of the mind youíll get their attention and he He said, after you get their attention, then you can talk to them about spirituality. And we don't think it's by accident that the very next person that Bill talked to happened to be Dr. Bob in Akron, Ohio. And we know that Bill had gone there on a business venture. And we knows the business venture fell through and Bill is in the lobby of the Mayflower Hotel. and all of his business partners had left him, counting the money in his pocket and didn't even have enough money to pay the hotel bill. Low, sad, and depressed. And he looked through the door off the lobby into the bar and I would imagine that the lights were low in the bar. The smoke was probably thick. The laughter was great. And surely they had a jukebox going in there and a little music playing. And Bill said, I believe I'll go in there and I'll be with people of my kind And I'll feel better But as he started to go through the door His mind said, Bill, you can't do that If you go in THERE, you're going to drink And if you drink, you are going to be in serious, serious trouble So in desperation Bill made a few phone calls Came in contact with this lady named Henrietta Cyberling And said,I'm a rum hound from New York and I need an alcoholic to talk to here in Akron to keep from getting drunk myself. Do you know anybody? And she said, oh yes we do. Yes we do She said, we have a doctor here a well-known doctor and a serious, serious case of alcoholism Let me see if I can get a hold of him and I'll set up a meeting for you And we know that Henrietta called Dr. Bob's house and talked to Ann and told Ann about this guy from New York City that might have an answer to alcoholism, can you bring Dr. Bob over here and we'll have a meeting here for him? And she said, I would love to. But she said tomorrow is Mother's Day. And said he's brought me home a potted plant and he's potted under the kitchen table. She said I'll try to get him over there tomorrow. So the next morning she gets Dr. Bob up and tells him about all this great deal and Dr. Bob don't want to go over there. He's hungover, he's sick, he not feeling good at all. And he said, I'm not about to go with her. And she said, oh yeah, you are. And he says, no, I am not. And she says, oh yes, you're. And maybe this is where Al-Anon really started. I have no idea. But finally, finally, Dr. Bobs said, I'll go over here and I'll give that guy 15 minutes of my time and then I'm coming home. And we know they went over there and sat down in a room by themselves and five hours later they came out of that room. And Dr. Bob said, this is the first man that I've ever talked to that knows what he's talking about when it comes to alcoholism. Now why would he say that? Because he was able through the sharing of his own experiences and through the knowledge that he had learned from Dr. Silkworth, he was unable to help Dr. Bobs see what his problem was. See, Dr. Bohm knew the solution. He was a member of the Oxford groups. He was trying to have a spiritual experience. He was try to apply their program of action, but he had never been able to apply it to the depth necessary to recover until Bill Wilson sat down with him and didn't talk about Dr. Bob's drinking at all. He said, let me tell you about my drinking. And he began to share his own story with Dr. Robb. And he talked about them many, many times. He stopped off in the speakeasy and going to have a couple of drinks and then go home and have dinner. And he said something would happen and I'd be unable to stop drinking and I may not get home that night or the next day or the last night. Or the next night either. Dr. Bob said, my God, man, that's what's been happening to me. And Bill said, well, there's a little doctor in New York City that explained this thing to me And he said, it's an actual physical craving that alcohol produces in our body. And because of that, we can't control the amount we drink after we once start. He continued to talk about the many, many times that he had sworn off drinking. He said, now I've got a tremendous amount of willpower. I've been able to do anything I wanted to do in my entire lifetime. But so when it comes to alcohol from time to time, willpower is non-existent. He said, I may wake up one morning with a terrible hangover and swear I'm never going to take another drink as long as I live. And by 2 o'clock in the afternoon, I'm sitting in a bar half drunk wondering how I got in. Dr. Bob said, my God, man, that's what's been happening to me. And Bill explained to him from Dr. Silkworth the idea of the obsession of the mind. And because of that, we're absolutely powerless over alcohol. Now, our book says this physician had repeatedly tried spiritual means to resolve his alcoholic dilemma but had failed. But when the broker gave him Dr. Silkworth's description of alcoholism and its hopelessness, the physician began to pursue the spiritual remedy for his malady with a willingness he had never before been able to muster. He sobered never to drink again up to the moment of his death in 1950. Now, this seemed to prove that one alcoholic could affect another as no non-alcoholic could. Through Bill sharing his story with Dr. Bob, Dr. Bob could see what his problem really was because he identified with Bill immediately. It also indicated that strenuous work, one alcoholic with another, was vital to permanent recovery. Bill Wilson didn't go see Dr. Bob to sober up Dr. Bob. Bill Wilson went to see Dr. Bob to keep Bill Wilson from getting drunk and thank God it worked and Bill stayed sober and Dr.Bob got sober so it proved the very two things our whole fellowship is built upon that one alcoholic could affect another as no non-alcoholic could and in working with another alcoholic is vital to our own recovery it's been going on ever since then So hence the two men set to work almost frankly, if only alcoholics arriving in the ward of the Akron City Hospital. One night Dr. Bob said to Bill, and Bill, by the way, had moved in with Dr. Bob and stayed there about three months. He said, By the way Bill, if we're going to do this thing, we better get busy. He said get busy doing what? He said well you said helping drunks would help us. I need us to find some drunks to work with. He said I don't know any drunks in Akron, do you? And he said well no, not really, but I know a nurse down at the Akroon City hospitals surely she'll know a drunk that we could work with so he called up the head nurse and asked him if ask her if she knew of a drunk if they could work but said yeah we've got a corker and strapped down this bed there in the ward of the akron city hospital back some of y'all may know what award is in those days is when you couldn't afford a private room or a semi-private room that puts you at the end of the hall with some screens around you if it looked like you you were going to die they would take you off the ward and put you in a private room so dr bob said to this lady do you have this drunk he said yes i do we want to come down we got this fellow from new york who seems to have a solution for alcoholism we wantto try it out on this fellow she's oh wait by the way dr bob maybe you tried this solution on yourself because she knew that he had a drinking problem too and he saidyes i have and i'm staying sober So they put this guy on the ward, took him off the ward and put him in a private room. And the next day Bill and Bob show up to visit. Now here comes these two guys along, and they both now know three things. They both know what the problem is. They both knows the solution. They're both applying the program of action. And both of them have recovered from alcoholism. The book says, hence the two men set to work almost frantic upon alcoholics arrive in the ward at the Akron City Hospital. Their very first case, a desperate one, recovered immediately and became AA number three. And Gail had his picture beforehand. It is sitting down here in front of us, the man on the bed. And this is Bill and Bob sitting there talking to this fellow named Bill Dotson. And they didn't talk to Bill Datson about Bill Datsu's drinking. They talked to Bill Dawson about their own drinking. and through the sharing of their story, they transmitted the information that they had received from Dr. Silkworth about this physical craving of the body and the obsession of the mind and Bill Dodson immediately identified with them. After they got his attention, they talked to him about spirituality. They talked to Him about the need for the vital spiritual experience. They talked with him about the program of action as they had applied it in their lives and that they had recovered from alcoholism. Two days later, Bill Dobson says to his wife, Get my clothes out of the closet. I'm going home. And he got up and he dressed and he went home. He applied this little program of action coming out of The Oxford Groups, had a vital spiritual experience, sobered up, never to drink again up to the moment of his death. This work at Akron continued through the summer of 1935. There were many failures, but there was an occasional heartening success. You know, when we look back at that period of time, we've got to realize that in the summer of 1935, these guys really didn't know very much about what they were doing. Just about everything that they tried was something brand new. And they would try something, and if it worked, then they would keep it. If it didn't work, they would discard it. And one of Dr. Bob's favorite things was to fill them up with sauerkraut juice mixed with honey. Sauerkraut juice had the vitamins and stuff in it necessary to help the body, and the honey made it possible to drink the damn stuff. Every once in a while, one of these guys would fall over dead. I can almost see Bill turn to Bob and say, oh, shit, let's don't try that again. And as we look back at that period of time, I think we need to give credit to those that they failed with that summer, too. They probably learned more from their failures than they did from their successes. When the broker returned to New York in the fall of 1935, the first AA group had actually been formed, though no one realized it at the time. What he left behind him in Akron was a few individuals staying sober. However, they were members of the Oxford group and they were called the alcoholic group of the Oxford group or the drunk squad of the oxford group. And they always had problems in the very beginning. The Oxford group was really not into the business of sobering up drunks. What they really wanted to do was work with a more elite members of society like Firestone Sun or like the mayor or like the governor and etc and they were really not too interested in working with alcoholics they're having a hard time of the alcoholics because the alcoholcs would go to the oxford group meetings and tell dirty jokes and smoke cigarettes and drop ashes on the floor and spill coffee and all that kind of stuff and the oxfor groupers have this thing called the four absolutes. And you were to practice absolute love, absolute purity, absolute honesty, and absolute unselfishness. And the drunks were having a hell of a time being absolute anything except drunk. So they had a little friction from the very, very beginning. And that's why they really started calling them the alcoholic squad or the drunk squad of the Oxford group. By late 1937, the number of members having substantial sobriety time behind them was sufficient to convince the membership that a new light had entered the dark world of the alcoholic. The people began to stay sober, not only in New York, in Akron, Cleveland, people around were staying sober. They began to think that maybe, just maybe, possibly they might have this answer to the age-old question of alcoholism. A new light has entered the Dark World of the Alcoholic. A second small group promptly taken shape in New York. And besides, they were scattered alcoholics who picked up the basic ideas in Akron and New York and were trying to form other AA groups. No AA group at that time, just a drunk squad of the Oxford group. It was now time that struggling groups sought to place their message and unique experience before the world. This determination bore fruit in the spring of 1939 by the publication of this volume. And Gail did a great job with this, and she talked about the history, and we know they met together bill was back there in akron in 1937 and bill was visiting with dr bob and and they counted the number of people they were staying sober and there was a few of them in akran there was a view starting to come in up in cleveland and a few back in new york bill had gone back to new yorke and when he did he applied there what he learned to do with dr. Bob and sure enough people started sobering up in New York and they counted approximately 40 people staying sober on these three little pieces of information and I think maybe for the first time they begin to realize you know we really we really might have found the answer to this thing called alcoholism and if we found the answer to it then what are we gonna do about it you know they could have decided that they were going to franchise it there in Akron and sell the thing just as well as anything else everybody was broke in those days Everybody was trying to make money. And Bill and Bob hashed it around, and maybe, maybe this is the beginning of the group conscience because they decided that they didn't really want to make that decision. And they called a meeting where there was approximately 18 people at that meeting. And the purpose of the meeting was, you know, if this thing is really working, what are we going to do with this information? Are we goingto hold it for ourselves selfishly? Are wegoing to try to sell it? are we going to try to give it away, and what are we going to do? And coming out of the Oxford groups, there was the idea that if you're going to keep this stuff, you've got to give It away. You're going To have to give I t to other people. So the idea really began to change then as to how can we give It a way to the greatest number of people. And as Gail showed us, they decided to build a chain of hospitals. Now this is in the midst of the Depression. Nobody's got a dime, but we're going to build this chain of hospitals all the way across the United States where any alcoholic that needs to be detoxed can go in. In those days, you could hardly get in a hospital to be detoxed for alcoholism. And I'd almost bet money that Dr. Bob was going to be the head doctor too. And they decided this information, not just everybody would be able to carry it. So what they really needed to do was hire and train a group of missionaries to send them out across the country carrying this great message of recovery. And I'll bet money Bill Wilson was going to be the head missionary, just as sure as anything. And then somebody said, well, you know, this information we've got that we've developed in the last two years, we've been carrying it by word of mouth one to the other. It's already becoming garbled. And sooner or later, if we keep carrying it just by word of mouth, it'll become changed to the point where it'll be of no good to anybody. What we really need to do is put it down in the written form so that the alcoholics in the future will have it as we know it today, referring back there to 1937. And then he said, you know, the Oxford groupers have written several spiritual books and they sell quite good. And back in the 1930s, books did sell good. That was in the days before TV. Yeah, there was a time before TV, there really was. And they said, you know, if we could write a good book really explaining what alcoholism is as we know it and really explaining what the solution to it is as мы know it and really outlining the program of action as we knew it, then this would be the first book ever written, first comprehensive book ever written on alcoholism and recovery therefrom. And surely, surely it would become one of the world's bestsellers. And then we could take the profits from the book. And then we could build the hospitals. And then we could hire and train the missionaries. Well, thank God the book is the only thing that came out of it. As we all know the book didn't sell very good. And for years and years they didn't have any money. Therefore, we never did bill the hospitals, nor did we hire and train the missionaries. And it turns out we didn't have to, did we? Because we got hospitals all over the United States and Canada and all over the world now that will detox alcoholics. And we got counselors working in all of those areas, which would have been Bill's job as a head missionary to carry that message to all those people. So we didn'T have to do that, but we did write the book. Thank God we did. So the membership had then reached about 100 men and women. Well, after they had the book written and they decided to title the book and call it a book, it ought to have a name. Gail mentioned that earlier. One of the names they considered was The Way Out and found that there were some 11 or 12 other titles called The Way out but decided not to use that one. Someone said, well, let's call it Comes the Dawn. Great title. Sounds like a good title for a book doesn't it? Comes the dawn. and they considered that and kicked that out. Somebody said, well, let's call it 100 Men. Yeah, the guys liked that. Boy, 100 Men, doesn't that sound like a good title for a book? Well, then a woman joined the group. Well, they couldn't call it100 Men and a Woman, so they kicked that up. Bill said, Well, let'S just call it the Bill W. Movement. That didn't last long, and as the story goes, Somebody said Alcoholics Anonymous, Anonymous Alcoholics. That kind of took hold, AlcoholicsAnonymous. So the very first Alcoholics Анonymous the world has ever seen was a book called Alcoholics Anonymous. And in that book, called Alcoholic Anonymous was a story of the first hundred men and women to show us precisely how they recovered from alcoholism. That was the purpose of the book. And then it says, this fledgling society, this drunk squad of the Oxford Group, which had been nameless now, began to be called Alcoholics Anonymous from the title of its own book. So we have two AlcoholicsAnonymous, don't we? We have a book called AlcoholicAnonymous and we have a fellowship called AlcoholiceAnonymous. Two different things. Now, in 1939, the program in the book Alcoholics Anonymous and the program in the fellowship called Alcoholics Anonymous were exactly the same because the first 100 put in this book the things necessary for them to do in order to be able to recover from alcoholism. No quarrel between the program and the fellowship and the program in the book. They were exactly the same in 1939. The book began to go out across the country, and the first person in the state of California got a copy of this book, read it, studied it, did what it said, recovered from alcoholism, and started an AA group. First person in Texas did the same thing. First person in Michigan. First person down in Florida. First person in Maryland. All the great growth of the fellowship began to come from the book itself. And then gradually over a period of years, as the fellowship got bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger, they began to experience something in the fellowship then that the first 100 didn't have. They began to experience the great strength and power that comes from large numbers of men and women who have joined together and have escaped from a common disaster. The first 100 didn't have that kind of fellowship, just a few little groups scattered around, no great power through the fellowship itself. But as the fellowship began to get bigger and bigger and bigger and people began to stay sober based on power of the fellowship, they then began to question the severity of the program in the big book Alcoholics Anonymous and begin to say, you know, maybe we don't need to do all these things this book says. Maybe we don'T need to turn our entire will in life over to the care of God as we understand it. Maybe we can give Him the alcohol and we'LL keep the rest. Do you mean we really, really need to share all of that stuff with another human being? God already knows about it. Why should we share it with anotherhuman being? You mean we have to get rid of all of our defects of character? How in the hell will we make a living if we get ridof all ofour defects ofcharacter? You mean we've really got to make amends To all those people we've harmed Even those that have harmed us worse than we did then And we hate their guts And they begin to say Well, maybe we don't need to do all that Maybe we can treat it as a cafeteria Maybe we an take what we want And maybe we can leave what we won't And through that and through the fellowship We'll be able to stay sober And slowly, slowly, slow The fellowship began to move away from the Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous. Then came the great advent of the treatment centers. Now, please don't get us wrong. We have nothing against treatment centers They serve a very useful, worthwhile purpose. But in most treatment centers, they're going to have to have something in there in order to be able to qualify for state aid and federal aid and et cetera. They're going to have to have more in there than just the big book Alcoholics Anonymous. So the mental health associations got involved, and we began to bring in the psychologists into the treatment centers and the psychiatrists into the treatment centers. And then people going through the treatment centres began to come into the doors of AlcoholicsAnonymous. And they wanted to talk about what they had learned in a treatment center, which is normal. Anybody would want to do that. And we begin to hear words and terms in AA that we'd never heard before. We begin to Hear First about chemical dependency. Then we begin To Hear About dual addiction. And then we begin TO Hear About polyaddiction. And then We begin TO hear about significant others. And then WE begin TO talk about meaningful relationships. and then we've been to talk about all kinds of sex and things going on. They begin to talk about everything except what's in the big book Alcoholics Anonymous and some of those meetings you go to today they're still out there and some OF those meetings you GO TO today if they didn't read the preamble before the meeting you wouldn't know what kind of meeting you're in because they talk about everything expect alcoholism and recovery they're from. Now, the instant that happened to us, we went from a life-changing program, which is contained in the big book Alcoholics Anonymous, to a non-drinking program. And people then began to measure success by how long have you been sober rather than by the quality of that sobriety. And you see a lot of people in AA today that's been sober several years, but I wouldn't give you 13 cents for the quality of their sobriety. They're always mad and upset and raising hell with everybody. They're staying sober, but they haven't changed their lives. And AA originally was founded as a lifetime-changing program that came to us through the Oxford groups and always brought God into the picture so we could make the changes necessary to not only just stay sober, but to be able to completely recover from that condition known as alcoholism. Now what we're going to talk about this weekend is we're not going to talking about the program in the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. We're going talk about the Program in the book AlcoholicsAnonymous. and thank God the program in the book Alcoholics Anonymous has never been changed from the time it first appeared in the first edition in 1939. It's the same today as it was in 39 and it works just as good today as he did in 39 and the people who use this program, their lives actually change. They don't just stop drinking, they become entirely different people. I was down at the club a few months ago, and there was an old fellow. There was 30 people there having a meeting. I guess it was a meeting, but they had some kind of a meeting and I was there to meet somebody. Thirty people for one hour. This one guy talked for about 30 minutes at that hour. You know him. You've seen him. My old-timer friend, he was named Dick. I punched Dick. I said, Dick, what's he talking about? He said, I don't know. He never says. many years ago i called my sponsor franklin i said franklin my program is not working worth a darn and he said joe tell me what you're about your program i said well i'm mad at the people in the group and i'm bad at my wife and i met the people i work with i'm pretty well mad everywhere and he says well joe your program is working just the way it was designed to work he said have you ever tried working the program and there's a lot of difference between my program and the program, and thank God we're going to talk about the program today. Now let's look and see some of the successes that they were having when the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous would work in the program from the book called Alcoholics Andonymous. Let's see the kind of success that they Were Having. Roman Nubel, page 19, XXIX, the very last line. It said, While the internal difficulties of our adolescent period were being ironed out, public acceptance of AA grew by leaps and bounds. For this, there were two principal reasons, the large number of recoveries and reunited homes. These made their impressions everywhere. Of alcoholics who came to AA and really tried, 50% got sober at once and remained that way, 25% sobered up after some relapses, and among the remainder, those who stayed on with AA showed improvement. Other thousands came to a few AA meetings and first decided they didn't want the program. But great numbers of these, about two out of three, began to return as time passed. If my math is correct, that's 75% of those people ultimately stayed sober who came to Alcoholics Anonymous. And really tried. And really try it. We can't even fantasize about 75% today, not in my area. I don't know about up here. 50%? No way. 25%? Don't think so. Ten? Less than ten? Five, maybe? I don't know. But I do know this, and I've seen this with my own eyes. I saw it the other night over at Thomas' group. When people are applying this program to their life out of this book, the recovery rate goes up, and our people are happy about it. And we've got pockets of those people all over the country. And the movement is getting bigger and bigger and you guys are part of the movement. And all we're asking for you to do is to take this book and the knowledge you gained from this book back to your group and share it with your group and see if we can get that recovery rate to start coming back up. I believe we can do that, for sure. I've seen it happen. There's a little pamphlet in AA right there. Thank you. Everybody ought to have one. Everybody oughtto read one. It was written by Bill Wilson and published in February 1958. Good information. and they're for everybody in Alcoholics Anonymous. But right here on the third page, right up there, I'm going to read what it says. It said, Sobriety, freedom from alcohol through the teaching and practice of the 12 steps is the sole purpose of an A group. Now, what did he say? Sobpriety, freeing from alcohol through the teacher and practice of the 12 steps is the sole purpose of an AA group. It's not just one of their purposes, it's the only purpose in the world to have an AA group, to practice and teach you of the twelve steps of our cause and ours. Bill Wilson said that right here. It is not to sit around and talk about group therapy is it? You know I think I can truthfully say today that 75% of the people that come to AA today and really try the program in the book Alcoholics Anonymous, recover from alcoholism. Now that doesn't mean 75% of them are doing it, but those that are doing It recover from Alcoholism. And why aren't the others doing It? Because nobody's telling them they need to. The old-timers are saying, well, those guys come out of treatment and they want to talk about everything except alcoholism and we don't want to talking about their kind of stuff and we're just going to stay home. And when the old-timer does that, they abdicate their responsibility for AA and turn it over to the sickest of the sickests who are the newcomers, and then they stand back and say, look what they're doing to our AA. That's our responsibility, mine and yours. Okay? The other thing they didn't know in the early days is people today can go to a meeting three or four times a day. We stay sober on the fellowship and leave the program in the book. There's a lot of power in the fellowship. I know a lot people have to go to meetings every single day, two or three times, to stay sober. Well, thank God they're able to do that. But I couldn't do that, you see. Is that all the preaching we're going to do, Charlie? That's all the preacher. No more preaching. Well done. Hope you don't believe that. Now that we know just a little bit about it, let's look at the table of contents. and we're going to put a little picture up here on the screen, and in your little handout pamphlet you got when you registered, you have a copy of these pictures also. And if you can't see them too good from the back of the room, you've got them right there in front of you. And we studied this book for quite some time until we began to realize that the book was really written to convey those three basic ideas that we've been talking about. Or you might say it's really written to reach three goals. And the first goal in this book is, what is the problem? Before you can recover from anything, you've got to understand what the problem really is. And prior to Dr. Silkworth coming along in the 1930s, nobody ever understood the problem of alcoholism. They all thought it was willpower, moral character, sin, and et cetera. And very, very few alcoholics ever recovered from it. So this idea, these ideas from Dr. Silkworth, meant so much to Bill Wilson and so much for the first 100 people that when they got ready to write this book back in 1937, and the first 40 did then, turned out to be 100 by 39. They went to the doctor and they said, we would like to take this information that you have given to us and put it in this book with your permission. And he said, well, that'll be fine if you want to do that. And they said would you be willing to write some of this information for us? And he says, yes, I would be glad to with one provision. You can't use my name in it. He says this is absolute heresy as far as the medical profession is concerned. They don't want to believe the fact that it's a illness, and if you put my name on it, they'll throw me out of the medical profession just as sure as anything. So in the first 16 printings of the big book, it just says the doctor's opinion dash, dash, dash, no Dr. Silkworth in it. Now, in 1956 and 57, The American Medical Association, the American Psychiatric Association, had recognized alcoholism as a full-blown disease. And when they came out with a second edition in 1955, Dr. Silkworth said, you can put my name in it now. So the second edition, third edition, and fourth editions always got Dr. Silkworth's name in them. Didn't have it in the first edition, though. and so we we think we think there's primarily two two chapters in the big book that's going to be able to show us what the problem really is and first is the doctor's opinion and there we get the same information that he conveyed to bill wilson then in chapter one In Bill's story, we're going to have an example, a classic example, of a practicing alcoholic. And we're gonna be able to see his craving that developed in his body after he took a drink. We're gonna to be able see his obsession with the mind. And we're going to be able to see primarily everything we need to know to understand the problem in the doctor's opinion and Bill's story. We'll pick some of it out of Chapter 2 and 3, but most of it, the doctor'S opinion and Bell's story, and there we're gonna be able tO see that we are absolutely powerless over alcohol. And we might just, for the time being, boil step one down to one word. we're powerless. We're going to be able to see why and how we're powerless through that part of the book. And that's really dealing with step one. Now, if we are powerless over alcohol, then obviously the answer would lie within power. And we've got three chapters that are designed to show us that power and the need for that power that is greater than human power Chapter 2, there is a solution. And he's going to talk to us about the power of the fellowship and the power or the vital spiritual experience to help us overcome alcoholism. Chapter 3, he's gonna talk more about alcoholism and he's gone explain to us exactly what's gonna happen to us if we don't find that power because he's got to talk about the insanity of alcoholism and how it will return if we don't find that power. And then also he's going to show us some ideas, new ideas about that power in chapter 4, we agnostics. One of the greatest pieces of spiritual information I ever read. Let me discard some old ideas about God and then start operating on some new ideas and let God prove to me that there is a kind and a loving God rather than hell, fire, and brimstone. So chapters 2, 3, and 4 are all going to deal with power and that's step two. It came to be that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. If our problem is powerless, if the answer lies within power, then we just need to know one more thing. How do you find that power? And we've got three chapters. Chapter 5, how it works. chapter 6 into action chapter 7 working with others that shows us how to find that power and there we're going to find the last 10 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous steps 3 through 12 and we get through with those then we have found the power and we can recover from alcoholism you know when I first started reading this book I had no idea that it was written in a certain sequence to convey certain ideas. I read it more or less as you read a novel. I read Bill's story, and I kind of agreed with it a little bit, but not a hell of a lot. I read chapter 2, there is a solution, and I sure didn't want any part of that because that talked about God. And I read Chapter 3, and it talked about insanity, and I knew I wasn't crazy. And I red how it works, and I surely didn't wanted to do those things. and then I'd go back in the back of the book and I'd read a story and that was kind of interesting. I'd just jump back and forth around and around. But if we begin to look at this book as laid out in a certain sequence to convey these ideas in the same sequence that the first 100 had to know them, what is the problem? What is the solution? And what is The Program of Action? Then it becomes a very fascinating book because you'll be able to see how one chapter ties to the next chapter, how one paragraph ties to The Next Paragraph, giving us these ideas as we go through to bring about these three different ideas or these three main goals of the big book. In the doctor's opinion, one of the most important chapters in the book. The first 16 printings of the Big Book of Outcast Novels, you can check it out by looking over here, was on page 1. It wasn't in the Roman numerals section. 1955 for some unknown reason We don't know why or how They took the doctor's opinion off of page one Put it in a Roman numeral section And put Bill's story on page one And the fellowship got away From the doctor'S opinion But this book is laid out like Charlie said In a certain sequence to bring about certain ideas I was In the printing business I owned a printing company That printed books like this I've sat in on many, many conversations about the way to lay out a book. And I didn't think this book was laid out in any particular manner. After all, a bunch of old drunks wrote it, so what would they know about a book? The way I figured it, I was very open-minded, you see. Come to find out it's laid out. They had a lot of good professional help doing this. As Charlie said, and I believe this, every paragraph and every chapter is right where it's supposed to be that leads us to the next and to the last. To the next being pretty much the way Bill received it himself. His first experience with getting sober was with Dr. Silkworth, the doctor's opinion. He learned through sharing with Dr., Bob, about his story. And so he shares his story for identification so that we can identify with another alcoholic. He gives us these solutions. There is a solution. Most of us are not going to like that solution anymore than he did. Remember, he was aghast at that solution. So he tells us more about alcoholism, more about what's going to happen to us unless we accept that solution And he gives us chapter 4, probably one of the most important chapters ever written, I believe. The chapter, we agnostics. Gnostic means knowledge. You put the ag in front of any word, it means without. Those of us who are without knowledge, and certainly that's what I had. And the knowledge that I did have was that of a 7-year-old boy when I arrived here. And you can imagine what it was. I needed some more information, better information than I had, then it tells us how it works into action not into thinking god don't think please don't take into action then once we've had this experience and recovery then we can work with other people we can carry this message to other people and back on page 45 it said the main object of this book was enabled me to find a paragraph myself which would solve my problem It didn't say it would help me solve my problem. I found the power, and the power would solve the problem. And that's the way the book is written, just that way for us to do those things in that order. Okay, now let's go to Roman numeral 11, XI. And let's look at this second paragraph for just a moment. A couple of ideas here. He said, because this book has become the basic text for our society and has helped such large numbers of alcoholic men and women to recovery, there exists a sentiment against any radical changes being made in it. Therefore, the first portion of this volume describing the AA recovery program has been left untouched in the course of revision made for both the second and the third editions, and now the fourth. The section called The Doctor's Opinion has been kept intact just as it was originally written in 1939 by the late Dr. William D. Silkworth, our society's great medical benefactor. Okay, a couple little ideas. Because this book has become the basic text for our society, and when I see the word text, I think I'm alerted to the kind of book that I have in front of me. Many of us remember textbooks from school. Every time I used to be in school, they'd talk about a textbook. For some reason, I'd think about cheating. I don't know why that was. Many of them would say, Many of you didn't like the idea of textbooks because that means you've got to study and you've got to take tests and the possibility of failure and all that kind of work. But a textbook really is nothing more than a way to convey information from the mind of one human being or a group of human beings through the written word to the mind of another human being, thereby increasing the knowledge of the user of the textbook. A textbook usually assumes that the reader of the book will know very little about the subject matter. It usually starts at a very simple level. Then as the knowledge of the reader increases, the information presented becomes more difficult. You know, we're all familiar with the textbook on mathematics. And let's say that my friend Joe here knows nothing at all about mathematics. He can't add, he can't subtract He can do any of those things Oh he can count He could probably count to 21 If he's standing there naked And got everything where it's supposed to be He might make 21 20 and a half actually And I hand Joe A textbook on mathematics And I say I want you to go to chapter 5 And work the algebra problems Well he'll go to Chapter 5 but he just sees a bunch of marks on paper he has no idea what that means but if i say to joe joe chapter one deals with addition and subtraction the value of numbers addition and subtractation if you'll read that chapter and study it and ask questions and let me help you by the time you're through with chapter one you'll be able to add and subtract and sure enough he learns how to do that and i say now that you know how to do that, how to add and subtract, now then you can go to chapter 2 and you can learn how to multiply and divide. And he does that. And then I say now you can Go to chapter 3 and you learn about fractions and decimals and he does it. And we gradually prepare his mind for the algebra problems in chapter 5. I think one of the greatest mistakes I see being made today a newcomer comes in we hand them the big book we say go to chapter five and do what it says and you'll be okay that's what they told me when i first came to aa and the newcomer goes to chapter 5 and immediately they run into a bunch of algebra problems they run into the 12 steps and step one said they admitted we were powerless over alcohol our lives had become unmanageable the newcomers said man i ain't powerless over nothing they have no idea what we're talking about step two says came to believe that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity. Newcomers said, man, don't tell me I'm crazy. Sure, I do stupid things when I'm drunk, but when I'M sober, I'M like other people. They have no idea what we mean by that statement. If you're not powerless and you're NOT nuts, then you don't need to be thinking about turning your will and life over to carry something you don'T understand in the first place. And we present them with an impossible situation. If we can do nothing else at all this weekend, I hope we can be able to see the value of the doctor's opinion and the first four chapters. The doctor's Opinion and the First Four Chapters, they teach us how to add and subtract. They teach us about the fractions and decimals. And they prepare us for Chapter 5 because you see Chapter 5 starts with Step 3. And it's hard to start with 3 unless you've got 1 and 2 behind you. Standard textbook theory. Standard textbook sequence. Presenting it in a sequence, increasing our knowledge with each chapter until we're ready then for Chapter 5 when we get to it. It's amazing the writers of this book thought so much of Steps 1 and 2 that they used the doctor's opinion in the first four chapters to explain Steps1 and 2. Very important. The other thing that's so important here is there's just a sentiment a sentiment against any radical changes being made in it. You know, this book here, the recovery section of the book, the first edition, the recovery session of the second edition, the recovery portion of the third edition, and the recovery version of the fourth edition has never been changed. They're exactly the same. and i think that's the greatest miracle in alcoholics anonymous today you know how we love to change things and anybody that's ever read this book has rewritten it in their mind at least twice but collectively we've never found it necessary to change the recovery section of this book i wonder why anybody want to venture an idea if it work it works doesn't it it works this is good today as it did in 1939. Why? Three reasons. Number one, alcoholics have not changed. They're doing the same thing today they did in 1939. They get into jail houses. They get in to car wrecks. They get en to hospitals. They get e n to divorce courts. They get end to insane asylums. Call them treatment centers today, the insane asylum. And they get into graveyards. They're still doing the same fun things today that they did in 1939. Haven't changed a lick. Alcohol hasn't changed. It's the same today as it was in 1939, and the names have changed, the bottles have changed. The colors have changed." I saw one not long ago called Peach Fuzz. And I wondered, what in the hell is Peach Fuzzz? But if it had alcohol in it, it'll make you drunk just as sure as anything. Human nature never changes. It's the same today as it was thousands of years ago. And that's what this book really deals with. It deals with alcoholism. It deals without alcohol. And it deals with human nature. And therefore, it works just as good today as he did in 1939. Never found it necessary to change it at all. Let's go to the foreword of the first edition for just a moment. Roman numeral 13. And it says, we. There's that great big word in Alcoholics Anonymous, we can do what I cannot do. We can help me stay sober, which I couldn't do. Big word. We of Alcoholics Anonymous are more than 100 men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body, two different things. Later on tonight we're going to separate the body from the mind and talk about them in great detail. To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book. Anytime you see italic, Charlie calls it squiggly writing but don't let him throw you. It is italic. Anytime you see italic in this book, it means it's very, very important. We ought to read it again and consider what it's trying to say to us. To show that alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book. We see words like precisely, specifically, exactly with clear-cut directions on how to recover from alcoholism. Now, this is not a book going to tell us just about how to recovery from it. It's going to tell us precisely, specifically, exactly, with clear-cut directions on how to recover. And if I do that the way they say, then I should expect to be able to recover from alcoholism. For them, we hope these pages will prove so convincing that no further authentication will be necessary. We think this account of our expense will help everyone better understand the alcoholic. Many do not comprehend that the alcoholic is a very sick person. And besides, we're sure that our way of living has its advantages for all. Two little ideas out of there. Number one, we are more than 100 men and women. Most books I read have been authored by one person. And I read a book authoredby one person, if I see something there I don't agree with, I say, well, who in the hell are they to think they're smarter than I am? And I just ignore it. But if I do it with a big book, I'm not going to be arguing with one person I'm going to be arguing with 100 people. The first 40 said, Bill, we want you to write the book. You've been sober longer than anybody else. You know more about it than anybody other than us. But they said, bill, this is not to be your book, it's to be our book. And as you write those chapters, we won't see them. And we'll add to, delete from, and change around whatever we want to. When we're through with it, it will be the collective knowledge, experience, and wisdom of all 40 of us which turned out to be 100 by the time the book was published in 1939 so if I'm going to argue with what this book has to say today I've got to remember I'm not arguing with one person I'm arguing with 100 people and these 100 people have recovered from the same thing that's killing me a hopeless state of mind and body that brings in the word recovered and we hear fights all over the world is it recovered or recovering can you really recover from alcoholism well i hope you can because if we can't we're going to be in bad bad shape aren't we yeah before i came to a i lived in a hopeless state of mind and body i could not keep from drinking, nor could I drink without getting drunk. And I almost destroyed me under that condition. I came to AA and I got sober and I worked this program. Now, I no longer live in that hopeless state of mind and body. I cannot safely drink alcohol, but by golly I can stay sober, and I don't live in that hopeless state of mind.