Physical Allergy and Mental Obsession – Big Book Workshop – Part 2 of 2 – Cliff B.

I've been given the privilege and the honor to present to you the speaker tonight. He's been here with us this whole month, and tonight he's going to finish it up and close it down with what we really need to do in order to survive this program of Alcoholics Anonymous, Cliff Bishop. Hi everybody, my name is Cliff Bishop, I'm a real alcoholic. God, what a nice crowd to see here tonight. We end up in the year 2006. I just talked to Joe McHugh this afternoon. Believe it or not, that guy is going to tell his story up at Wolf Creek tonight, but he said tell everybody that he's thinking of you and have a wonderful New Year. You've got your big book opening where we always start, The Forward to First Edition, Roman Emblem 13 in Action 3 Little Lines. And right underneath the title on that page it says We of Alcoholics Anonymous are more than 100 men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body to show other alcoholic priests precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book. And that's all we really need to know. Back in 1939, a handful of hopeless, helpless alcoholics for the first time in the history of mankind found a way to live with alcoholism and be happy in their sobriety. And they thought what they had learned to do was so vital It should be preserved, and I thank God every day that they had the presence of mind to record this in print in a book titled Alcoholics Anonymous, one of the biggest secrets in the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. Tragically, that's the truth. Very few people have a clue what our program is about. Flip the page. Second line down tells you if you want to be a member of Alcoholic Anonymous you've got to have a requirement. The only requirement for membership in AlcoholicsAnonymous is an honest desire to stop drinking, And if you're a real alcoholic, you don't know anything about honesty by the time you got here. So they took it out of the third tradition. But if you want to stick around any period of time, it had better be an honest desire to stop. We go to the doctor's opinion and find out why I came to Alcoholics Anonymous. I came in here because I wanted to quit drinking. The problem I had was every time I sat down to have a few, I drank the whole damn thing and it never was enough. Never did get enough, but it was always too much. and the consequences were pretty dramatic and I tried everything I could think of to not drink, couldn't do it. But in the doctor's opinion, I learned that I'm powerless over alcohol physically because of an allergy. I'm perilous over alcohol mentally because of a non-alcoholic mind, an obsession that overrides any sort of a judgment factor I might have when it comes to drinking. And I stick around a little while and I meet a member of Alcoholics Anonymous who's got a smile on their face and they act like they really care about me. And I heard their story, and from them I got the hope that maybe if it worked for them, it'll work for me. If you read Step 2 carefully, it's a promise. We came to believe that there is some kind of a power that will restore us to sanity. If powerlessness is my problem, then power is my solution. And a lot of alcoholics say, but I'm not insane. Well, well, check yourself out. Cold, sober, and having sworn off forevermore, how many of you walked in a liquor store or bar and started all over again? I want to see. I've got them in the right crowd tonight. That being the case, and you have refaced with what I was facing, what do I have to do? And then some fool told me. On page 29 they said if you want to whip this thing further on a clear cut directions are given in this book, not the 12 and 12, but in the book Alcoholics Anonymous. Then on page 59 he tells us how it works in spite of what so many people say. I don't know how it works because they haven't read the big book and tried it. The person tells you how it worked. Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed the clear-cut directions in a book titled Alcoholics Anonymous. It just doesn't fail. And with that, then, we have to make a surrender. On page 59, The very top, the first paragraph says, We ask His protection and care with complete abandon. The first surrender I had to make was the fact that I was a hopeless, helpless alcoholic and on my own there was no way I was going to survive alcoholism. The second surrender I hade to make, and it took a long time to get there and another bad drunk, was the part that I had surrendered to the intelligence and wisdom in this book. And then he tells me these are the steps we took. I have yet to find in the book where it says these are the meetings we took. The meetings we made, which are suggested as a program of recovery. Fellowship's wonderful. But today's fellowship is full of a whole bunch of people who don't know a thing about recovery and consequently very, very few of us are lasting very long. The tragedy of our fellowship is we have an awful lot of people who are taking the responsibility for another person's life and don't have a clue what this thing's about. go through chapter 5 and we learn how to do step 3 and 4 step 3 is a decision to take the rest of the steps and on page 62 Bill told us what the problem was selfishness self-centeredness that we think is the root of our troubles no we don't it's all their fault right if they had just cleaned up their act and leave me alone I'd be okay well they got where they left me alone but I couldn't stay sober so we start out trying to find out What is it that triggers this insanity to start drinking once we have firmly decided we're never ever going to do it again, so help us God and we mean it. And in step four, we begin to see the truth. Selfishness, self-centeredness is in reality the cause of all of our troubles. And it manifests itself in things like resentment and fears and sexual misconduct. And so we go through the process of the four steps the way laid out in the big book and we begin To See the Truth. A lot of it we don't see. but remember there's one or more prayers for each and every step in the big book and the third step prayer on page 63 is a decision to take the rest of the steps and over on the next page it tells us when we do step 4 at once following step 3 and again the big look tells us when to take a step, how to take it what the result will be and one or four promises we go over to page 75 and we learn how to do step 5 and there are the fifth step promises the last paragraph of the two fifth step prayers We begin that hour between the time we have finished our session with our sponsor and found out what the real truth is, an hour before we make a commitment that we're going to become students and practitioners of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. The only place you're going find that information is in a book titled Alcoholics Announcements. Over on page 76, we're given a little brief paragraph. It simply says, I've got to have the willingness to do this thing. If I'm going to die of alcoholism because of the way I think and the way I feel, which is what I learned through step four and five, that's what triggered the insanity to drink. So if I don't want to drink again, I'm gonna have to find a way to change the way i think and way i feel. I'm Gonna Have To Have A Complete Conversion Within Me Of The Emotions I Have And The Thinking Process I Have Well, I Start Out Doing That By Studying The Big Book And Once I've Made The Commitment Then I Can Go To the seventh step on page 76 and complete a prayer which we start out on page 63. The third step prayer and the seventh-step prayer are a common prayer separated by two separate pieces of action and one solid commitment. And once we've done that, we understand what's wrong with us. It ain't drinking. Drinking was our solution until it became our killer. And then we finally gave up, came in here, and found somebody that got us up to this point. Now all I know at this point is This is why I drank. Now I'm ready to start the program of recovery. The middle paragraph on page 76, now I've got to do steps 8 and 9. And again, if I've been diligent and following the direction in the big book, step 8's all but a done deal. I have a list of people I've harmed because on page 77 it says I've Got to Go to Them If I've Had Ill Feelings. Who on earth have you known that you haven't had ill feelings for? Makes it pretty easy to figure out who we're going to make amends to, doesn't it? But I've got to go to them with a sincere desire set right to wrong, and I've Got to Go To Them Loving Those Suckers. These are the people I hate. How could that happen? Well, doing the fourth step, I've already been told I'm going to have the willingness to begin to make amends. And as I get on into the program of recovery, I'm gonna change the way I think and the way feel, and I'm gunna learn how to love those suckers that I used to detest. I didn't do it myself. I just did the dumb stuff in this book, and the miracle happened. We began to learn how to do step 9 as we go through from the bottom page of 76 over to page 83. And in there are four prayers for step 9. But over at the bottom of page 83, we're going to find out. Now remember on page 63, we're hopeless helpless alcoholicly made a decision to take some action. And from page 63 up to page 93, we have learned how to do step 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and by golly we have recovered. We'll get into that in a moment. But the last paragraph on page 83 says if we've been painstaking about the directions in those 20 pages we're going to be amazed before we're halfway through. And then Bill describes a spiritual experience a spiritual awakening in that one paragraph. A complete change in the way we think and the way we feel. And then He comes down and He starts telling us how to do step 10. Step 10 is such a vital, vital step and so many people who've been around a little while get enough pride that they're too damn proud to admit that God ain't running the world the way they want to run today. I think I've only had two or maybe three occasions today to remind somebody that woke up this morning and they didn't have to have a drink. They're a miracle, so shut up and go tell somebody what you've learned. And we'll get into that in a moment. But step 10 is vital so I can have an effective session with my higher power. And the middle paragraph on page 84 tells me precisely how to do step 10 and when to do it. It says I'm going to do steps 4 and 5 and 6 and 7 and 8 and 9, moment by moment, day by day. But I've got to add one thing to that. I've Got to turn my thought to someone I can help. And if I do, there's a promise. As I learn to do this, love and tolerance, he said, is our code. What does that mean? Those suckers that I hated back there that I had on my four-step list and I talked about in my fifth step that I couldn't stand, I wanted to get even with them, kill those suckers, put a contract on them. Somehow or other, I've learned to love and tolerate them. Does that say I like them? No. I don't have to like them, but to love them. And this is one of the greatest freedoms that I've been given. Back in the early days, I expect some of you did the same thing I did. You did things to get people's approval, right? People policing. If we could only get them to say we're okay and pretty neat, well, everything would be okay, right?" They did, and it wasn't. The thing that I've learned about our program is I really don't give a damn what you think of me anymore. It doesn't really make any difference at all. It's what I think of you. And the thing that's been so amazing to me that over these years I've learned how to love God's kids, each and every one of them. There's not a person on earth, even one, that we've all had a little experience with here lately that I wouldn't go to hell and back with if they were willing to shut up and follow directions. We're going to get into that in a moment. Step 10 is about it. Because if I don't take step 10 and keep myself clear of these negative thoughts and these negative emotions, when I sit down to have my time with God in the morning and again in the evening, I'm going to be thinking about what he isn't doing and telling him what he needs to do. Anybody ever do that? That ain't the way we do it. One of the great confusing things in Alcoholics Anonymous, and I know many of you have heard it as I have, there is no such thing as a recovered alcoholic. Anybody ever heard that one? We'll always be recovering. Well, that ain't so. Page 83 and 84 tells us we have recovered. And over on page 85, Bill says we have recovered, but we're not cured. Now that confuses an awful lot of people. If I am recovered but not cured, what does that mean? It means very simply that I still have an allergic to alcohol and I'm going to grave with that allergy to alcohol. Anybody that's allergic to penicillin, they don't take penicilin, they don'T have any consequences, but are they still allergic to penisillin? You better believe it. we are going to spend the rest of our life being allergic to alcohol. So I'm not cured. If I was cured, I could go out and have two or three and come back home the same day I started. Some of you understand that, I say. It's a lot of fun to start out in a bar having a few drinks and wind up down in Tijuana trying to see what the hell is going on. Cured? No, I'm NOT. Recovered? Yes, I am. And what we have is a case of remission. We're never ever going to be free to live our life on our life's terms. Remember when we took the third step, what did we say? Thy will. Thy will Thy will Seventh-step prayer. May I do thy will always. And in the front of the book, if you're with somebody I work with and there's somebody here, I owe this because I forgot to do it the other night, so be prepared to write in the back in the front of your book after the meeting tonight. Dear Sonia, you're never going to have your way again as long as you live. Love God. P.S. If you follow the direction of this book, you'll thank me for it one day at a time. But don't you forget it because it's going in there tonight. There we go. Recovered? Yeah. But I called God T-E-X-U electric sometimes. You know why? As long as I pay my bill, I get to keep the power. If I quit paying my bill what are they going to do to me? They'll put a yank on me. My last two sobriety dates are 18 years apart. I quit paying my dues. He yanked it on me and I've been back almost 24. I know where I want to be and how to stay here today and by God, I'm going to stay. The 10-step prayer is in the middle paragraph of the middle of the page of the Middle Paragraph on page 85. Every day is a day when we must carry a vision of God's will into all our activities, How can I best serve thee thy will not mine be done? What does it say? These are thoughts we must go with us. There isn't any must in Alcoholics Anonymous. Somebody told me that. These are thought which must go with us constantly. And then he comes down and he says step 11 suggests prayer and meditation. Over on the next page, the last sentence says Yet we believe we can make some definite and valuable suggestions Now I want you to stop and think about who wrote those words This is Bill Welton Who three and a half years prior to this time Was an agnostic of the first magnitude He accepted the concept of a higher power But certainly not on a personal basis And what he has written here only demonstrates to me what can happen to anybody that surrenders to this program and really puts it to work in their life. Because Bill Wilson is going to tell us, give us a simple set of directions for prayer and meditation I've ever seen put in print. Very, very clear. Look at the first one. When we retire at night, we can practically review our day. Now what are we going to do? Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest, or afraid? Does that sound like step four? How well did you do step ten today? And this is what this is. This is a meditative session with God to review how well did I follow the direction of step four. How well did i do... I mean, step ten. How well that I keep myself out of everybody else's business so I could be in contact with him if he chooses to make contact with me. He goes ahead and he takes us through this whole series of questions. This is the form of meditation. It's called contemplative meditation. to contemplate what we have done through the day. All that paragraph is about meditation except the last sentence. After making our review, we ask God's forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken. Does it say if? You're a human being, aren't you? You screwed up today, didn't you. Did you apply step 10 or did you hang on to your pride and say nobody's going to know. Here's where we have to get honest about it. How about the next thing? On awakening, let's think about the 24 hours ahead. Does that mean I do it on the way to work? God, I hope you're awake before you get in the car and start to work. We consider our plan for the day. Before we begin, here's a prayer. We ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking we be divorced from self-seeking the dishonest motive. What's my biggest problem? My motives. My motives, these damned instincts of mine and the motives that go with them. But anyway, he said under these conditions we can employ our middle faculties with assurance for after all God gave us brains to use. And I think I mentioned last week that we're in good shape on brains because alcoholics have never been noted for using them. They've been pickled in alcohol and put in reserve. Now we can pull them out fresh, brand new, and get ready to go. There's a joke about that with a brain surgeon, but I screwed up the last joke and I ain't going to do it again. He said our thought life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is clear of the wrong motives. That's a promise. That is a promise, but now he's going to tell us how to get into serious meditation. In thinking about our day, we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, intuitive thought or decision. A prayerful request. to enter my mind and help me with this confusion. He said we relax, take it easy, we don't struggle. And that's how we begin our real serious meditation. To quiet the body, quiet the mind, get off in a corner somewhere and shut up and pay attention to whatever it is that passes through our mind. If you can vacate it, wonderful. Some people can. I can't. This thing of mine just is going all the time. But the one thing I do to help me is how I have a few little thoughts that I like to use in my quiet time while I'm meditating. It would be quiet and know that I am God. Of myself, I am nothing. My Father does the work. There are several little phrases like that that I can repeat over and over and try to keep my mind focused on this conscious contact with my higher power. It says over on page 87, what used to be a hunch or an occasional inspiration and gradually becomes a working part of our mind. Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it's not probable that we're going to be inspired at all times. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. You want to hear a lesson? When I got back to AA, there weren't any drunks laying around. The first five months, I only saw one drunk come in. And when I was in here in the 60s, we had them around all the time. The aroma of alcoholism was prevalent in the club any time we went in. It sure wasn't when I got back. So I got myself involved in volunteer work down at the psych department in Parkland Hospital. And one of the bright ideas somebody came up with is we need a group down there, and so we formed the First Step Group. And one day, we'd been there about three years doing that, and one day I got a call from a lady on staff, and she says, Mr. Bishop, I'm sorry. we're going to have to move you, take your space. We are expanding and we don't have another place we can go and so we're just not going to be able to have any place to accommodate you. Well, I knew that Dr. Anderson had a great respect and affection for Alcoholics Anonymous, so I wrote him a loving letter and told him how many desire chips we'd pass out and how many of the patients that we were aware of we'd made contact with and that we really needed his support. And what I got back was a very loving note from him telling us how proud he was and how grateful he was and how much he appreciated all we were doing. And you will be hearing from Mrs. So-and-so to see what she can do to help. Well, the Mrs.So-and‑so was the old bitch that said we couldn't have a room. So I threw a fit. And Dr. Puryear, who was head of the psych emergency unit, said, Cliff, we have loved all you've done down here. You've done a wonderful job. We appreciate it so much, but you've been here long enough. It's time you leave. And so happened a drunk tank I just had opened across the street at Collins Sally, and so that's where I went. But the thing I learned was I was out there doing God's will, and God didn't know it. The only time I'm ever in trouble is when I'm doing God'S will and He doesn't know. And I quit doing it most of the time. Page 87, next paragraph. We usually conclude a period of meditation with a prayer. We'd be shown all through the day what our next step is to be. We pray that we'd be given what we need to take care of such problems. We ask especially for freedom from self-will and are careful to make no request for ourselves only. Sound like a prayer? Yep. Bill thought St. Francis' prayer was a pretty good prayer for alcoholics. If you read 12 and 12, you know on page 99, there it is. And I have a hunch that old St. Francis was an alcoholic for if he had alcoholics or not? Because if you know his prayer, it encapsulates our program so beautifully. Just let me be an instrument. You flow through me today and touch the lives of others so we can help them change the way they think and the way we feel. Let me be a positive influence on those you put in my path. So there we go. Down at the bottom is one of those that I think we all forget to look at once in a while as we go through the day, we pause when agitated or doubtful. If you don't know what agitated is when you're pissed off, you're agitated. And ask for the right thought or action. There again is a prayer. We constantly remind ourselves we're no longer running a show humbly saying to ourselves many times each day, What? There it is again. Same old thing over and over and over. Your will, not mine, be done and show me who I can help today. Some folks get a little bit upset with the chant that goes on after some of our meetings and it doesn't make any difference to me, but look at the next paragraph. The shortest one paragraph in the book. It works. It really does. Some smarty told me that the other day. Cliff, this thing works. It really is. It really works. Stoney? But he said we alcoholics are undisciplined. Oh, come on people. so we let God discipline us in a simple way we've just outlined. How many of you feel like you're disciplined? Now, program rigor... Oh, by God, you're all being honest. I thought I saw one hand go up and they put it down in a hurry. How have they just disciplined us? They've given us a clear-cut direction for the first 11 steps of alcoholic silence. We came in here powerless and didn't know what it says on page 45. Lack of power, of that was our dilemma. We had to find a power by which we could live and it had to be a power greater than ourselves. Obviously, where and how are we to find this power? That is exactly what this book is about. Its main object is to enable you and me to find the power greater than yourselves which will do what? Solve our problem. Well, I believe it too. I believe in my hearts of hearts. What are we here for? Back on page 77 what did he say? Our real purpose and learning to apply these steps to our life is to become of maximum service to God and the people about us. It's not about not drinking. Bill told us that on page 19. The elimination of drinking is but a beginning. So it'll be hard to work these steps drinking booze, I'll tell you. And we see people try from time to time. We've got to have our last drink and clear our minds a little bit. But the thing that is so impressive to me is step 12 tells us what we're here for. First of all, it gives us a promise. having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps. We try to carry this message to our colleagues and practice these principles in all our affairs. Let's take that thing apart a minute. Having had a spiritual awakening, one thing and one thing only, as a result of these steps, not meetings, not somebody else's ideas, but the ones here in the book. What have we had? A spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we try to carry what message? This message. What message is it? I've had a spiritual experience as a resolve of these things. That's the message I carry. If you have fun drinking and want to keep on drinking, keep on until you can't stand it anymore. When you're ready to give up and totally surrender, I'll be happy to go to hell and back with you if you're willing to follow directions, but if you've got your own ideas, we're going to let you go and do your own thing. It's so amazing to me. Stop and think about it. I think I did this once before, but to me it embodies what we are. When we show up here, we are what we call unconscious incompetence. Totally screwed up and we don't even know. True or false? We get up through step four and five and we find out how screwed up we are so we become conscious incompetence, right? Now we know we're screwed up. And our sponsor kicks us in the butt and says, okay, now you know what's wrong with you. Are you going to do what you have to? And if you do, then we get on with it. And as we start working the rest of the step, from step 8 on through 12, we become conscious competence. Now we're competent people. And we're very conscious of what we have to do to keep that. And after a period of time, it becomes our way of life. It's a natural thing. It's as much a natural part of our life as drinking was. And now we've become unconscious competence. God, what a wonderful place to be. But Bill changes the whole tune of this thing on page 89. Remember all the way up to this point we've been talking about what we do? Oh boy, he gets nasty here because he points at the finger at each and every one of us. Practical experience shows that nothing will so much ensure immunity from drinking as 90 meetings in 90 days. What are you giggling about? Isn't that what you tell the newcomer? Intensely work with other alcoholics. Does that mean once in a while? No, we're going to get into that 12-step prayer pretty quick. It works when other activities fail. Oh, I'm just miserable today. I've had a bad day. I need a meeting. And I go to a meeting and come out wanting to drink and cry. No, I'm going to do what Bill did. I'm gone down to 24 alcoholics. I won't pick on you tonight, Scott, if I can help you. This is our 12th suggestion. Carry this message to other alcoholics! Exclamation mark! What message? I've gone through the first 11 steps. I now have the power to help you I came in powerless. Now I've been given the power to pass this on to anybody who's willing. You can secure their confidence when others fail. Remember, they're very ill. Life will take on a new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, not us. This is our individual responsibility. This is your individual challenge. This is what we are here for. How important is step 12? It starts out on page 89. Where does it end? Anybody know? Page 164. How important is Step 12? Pretty doggone important. Most of the big book is devoted to Step 12. He said, This experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is a bright spot of our lives. And then a little bit of Bill's sense of humor in the next paragraph. Perhaps you're not acquainted with drinkers who want to recover. Where the hell did you come from? Is there anybody here that doesn't know where to go find an alcoholic? Well, where I was drinking, there was messes of them. I never had to worry about it. But one of the things that I've learned and I love to do, some of you know over the last few years we've visited an awful lot of doctors. And every time we saw one, I told them an alcoholic, a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, if they had any patients who had problems and wanted help, for God's sake, let me know. the thing that has been so discouraging is most of them tell us well we know that there are other ways now AA isn't doing too well and we know AA is doing a miserable job the fellowship the program doesn't fail but we are not meeting our responsibility as a newcomer by saying this is where the program is this is what recovery is in chapter 7 it's all about sponsorship how do we go about sponsorship but also sponsorship includes chapters 8 and 9 and 10 and 11 having had a spiritual weight as a result of these steps we try to carry this message to alcoholics and what? practice these principles in all our affairs well Bill's going to be over on page 96 he's going to tell us how we start qualifying see if they're really an alcoholic and then over on page and it gives us some pretty clear cut directions this stuff isn't just rhetoric these are the directions on how we're to live our life this is where we get a jump start on our responsibility in life today page 90 and 91 to go through the preliminary let's go to page 92 first paragraph if you are satisfied he's a real alcoholic begin to dwell on the hopeless feature of the malady, show him from your own experience how queer mental conditions surrounding a first drink prevents normal function of the will. One of the things I see happening all too often is that people want to lump three elements of alcoholism all at one time. The only thing I see on the board, body, mind, spirit. Physical, mental, spiritual. Hell, we haven't even started yet. The first thing we've got to do is focus on step one. There's two parts. The allergy, the obsession, the insanity. And until we've got that down, we've had no business going into any other element of our program. And this is one of the great mistakes we're missing making today throughout our fellowship. Bill Wilson, God's loving... You know, if Bill had done anything in there, I'd not have to drink again. And Abby came in sober. Two months sober. And Bill said, My God, what did you do, Abby? You're a lot worse than I am. And Abby said, I've got religion. And what did Bill do? He had two quarts of bathtub gin. He said, you talk. I'm going to drink both of them separate because I don't want anything to do with this God idea. And Abbey said, that's fine. Why don't you choose your own conception of God? Play like there's one. Just be willing to play like there is one. Two weeks later, Bill thought he was going to die of a heart attack during DT. He said what did he do? Abbey, come see me, buddy. I want to know what that issue did. The third day of his sobriety, he made a decision. and Dale had a life changing experience and he lived 36 years without a drink and you are here because he relied on a program of action not on meeting and that's one of the things we need to remember they started on the third day of sobriety and we need to get them early while they're still dying and hurting he goes ahead and he says show him how from your own experience It's how the queer mental condition surrounding the first rank prevents normal functioning of his will. Yeah, we get into the real part of it, don't we? The insanity, the mental impalance. The inability to manage a decision and not do it again. Hell, if we could manage a decission and not deal with it, what on earth would we come in here for? Haven't you got something better to do on a Saturday night than sit around listening to an old fool talk about alcoholics anonymous? No, you don't. But a lot of people think they do, and if you keep your eyes open, you'll see up down to 24-Hour Club, Maggie's House, Homeward Bound, Little Ebert Island. We've got a lot Of places where they wind up. Don't at this stage refer to this book unless he's seen it and wishes to discuss it. Don't get into the solution. Now, Bill didn't learn a damn thing from that, did he? If you know his history, he got out of the hospital so full of enthusiasm and wanting to save alcoholics, he went out and told everybody about his spiritual experience for four months, and not one of them wanted to hear that. And he went to Dr. Selfworth and he said, What am I doing wrong? And Dr. selfworth said, Fool, you're getting the cart before the horse. Sell them on the scientific hopelessness of alcoholism. Render them helpless and hopeless. Then they're going to want to know what you did to survive. Well, he thought he'd tried when he thought that he was going to die drunk in Akron, Ohio. He made 12 telephone calls to Preserve East Sobriety to find one sucker that he could be giving 15 minutes. And Bill did exactly what he was supposed to do. He described alcoholism in terms that an alcoholic could understand. And it so happened the alcoholic was a very prominent surgeon. You stop and think about it. Here's a busted-down alcoholic from New York explaining to a surgeon what the hell is wrong with him. And the surgeon says, I'll be damned. You're right, Bill. Try that on your doctor and see how far you go. Just don't make mistakes getting the cart before the horse. And make certain. that we have them as hopeless as a desperate or drowning man. The desperation of a drowning man, isn't that what the book says? That's what he said. But you knew you missed it. Bill understands us real well. Look at the next paragraph. Continue to speak of alcoholism as an illness of fatal malady. Oh, really? Talk about the conditions of body and mind which accompany it. Keep his attention focused mainly on your personal experience. Explain that many are doomed who never realize their predicament. What is it we're doing on a 12-step call? What are we doing when we get a hold of a newcomer? We're telling them about our understanding and knowledge of alcoholism because of our experience and what we learned alcoholism is. And keep it real, real simple because that's what our program is. I think the problem with our program is it's so exceedingly simple that most of us with any intelligence can't accept the simplicity. We've got to try to improve on God's handiwork. Some of you have been around and know there are people out there who've got some great ideas on how to do better. I used to, and I found out that this is all I really need. It is just as Joe says, God is sufficient. And for here He has been. Let's get them to the point where they look at us and wonder what on earth is going on. That's one of the blessings I had down at Parkland Hospital. That's One of the Blessings I Had in a Drunk Time. To be able to take a hold of them and put your arm around them and say, Man, let me tell you, I've been where you are. And I'd like to help you if you'll let me. And I do tell them my story and watch the light come on in their eyes and walk out of there with our arm around each other. The suckers smiling, the doctors going, what the hell did you do in there? Because they never could figure out what to do to get the results that we do. That's when they say, what do you do? And then, boy, we let them have it. What do we let him have? The simplest terms of our steps. That I made an appraisal of what was wrong with me and I went out and made a restitution to the people I'd harmed. Found out that me down here trying to help you helps me. I don't know if it's going to help you or not, but it's saving my ass from having to go back and do it again. This is what I do. And this is what I would like to see you do if you really want to whip alcoholism. Let him ask. And then once he does, age 94, four lines from the bottom, on your first visit Tell him about the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. If he shows interest, lend him your copy of this book. Now, hell, I just want you to go to meetings for a while, right? He said over in the middle of the next page, if your friend is not interested in your solution and expects you to act only as a banker, financial difficulties, whatever, turn him loose. Do not waste time on somebody who has not totally surrendered to the reality of their problem. We're denying them the opportunity of getting ready as they must. If they're ready, they'll take it away from me. If they are not, we can't give it to them. But one of the tragic things we do is we get too many people coming in here and relying on meetings and meetings and meetings. And when they go back out and we run into them down at the wind-up joints, what do they say? I bend a yay and it doesn't work. No, it doesn' t work. We've got to work on it. Go to 96, I'm going to give you a real shocker. Middle paragraph. Suppose now you're making your second visit to a man. Okay, I am going to go back and sing. He has read this volume and said he is prepared to go through the 12 steps of the program of recovery. My second visit, three days later, you better believe it. When Bill started his recovery, went to the hospital on the 11th of December. Abby came to visit him on the 14th of December. He had a vital spiritual experience on the 14th that lasted the rest of his life. When did Dr. Bob start his journey to recovery? The day of his last drink, right? The day he had his very last drink. What did he tell Bill the next morning? Sitting there having a cup of coffee, Dr. Bo said, Bill, don't we need to go find another alcoholic to talk to? Went to Bill Dotson, page 158, started his journey to sobriety. I told Bill and Dr. Bob it couldn't work for him, could it? He'd been a good church member. It won't work For me. The third day he came in, he said, Maybe it works for you suckers, it might work for me. When did he make his decision to start recovering? Day three. You see, that's one of the things they did back then. We got a hold of them coming off a drunk And we got them going now or get the hell out of here. And Alcoholics Anonymous grew and grew and drew. Now, we don't want them to rush into taking the steps. And so now less than 1% of us will be here to get a 10-year mandala. Sponsorship is described in Chapter 7 of the book Alcoholics Anonymous. And one of the things he tells us is that we're going to have to work with a family, whether or not the alcoholic comes on in or not. We've got to stick with a familie. Make ourselves available. Why? Well, one of those things they learned in Al-Anon, and I've got 20 years with that bunch of folks, blessedly. What are you laughing about? You made me a hard-ass sponsor, didn't you? They say about 85% of the people that drive people to Al-Anon will wind up seeking help in Alcoholics Anonymous. Sound like a pretty good reason to go? You betcha. I'll tell you, when those gals or guys get a hold of Al-Anal and their program, life at home sucks big time. It's just miserable. But we're here. Discover page 100. There it is in the middle of the page. Well, first paragraph. Both you and a new man must walk day by day on the path to spiritual progress. What's spiritual progress? Well, let's go back and see how Bill defined it so clearly defined it. Page 14, last sentence. Very last sentence Forbid an alcoholic to fail and perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through what? work and self-sacrifice for others. Oh, hell, I thought it was going to meetings. Boy, aren't we off base. There it is. So we walk hand in hand doing what? Learning how to live the program applied to our life moment by moment, day by day, looking for those six suckers that are willing to go to any length. And anybody else that God puts in our path that we might be able to help. Middle paragraph 100, When working with a man in his family, you should take care not to participate in their quarrels. He starts giving us some directions on how to work with the family in chapter 7. If you go over to page 103, I love it. Look at the last paragraph. It's in italics. And if it's in Italic, you better pay attention. After all our problems were of our own making, besides bottles were only assembled. That day comes hard for a lot of us, but that's the reality. Besides, we have stopped fighting anybody or anything. We have to! Now when I turned my will and life over to the care of God in step three and took the action, what is it I'm supposed to be fighting? As Bill says, we must turn in all things to the Father of light who presides over us all. I'm finally beginning to understand most of all. Some parts I'm still not clear on, but we're getting there. Now, one of the responsibilities of good sponsorship is described in chapter 8. To what? This chapter just absolutely blows me away because I thought for a long time it was either written by Ann or Lois. Ann Smith or Loise Wilson. Bill Wilson wrote this chapter. And it comes from the heart of an Al-Anon, somebody who loves us. And it goes through the misery that we have exposed them to. We've forced on them. And it tells them how they can identify where we are in the progression of alcoholism in four separate categories. and then it gives them the information on how they can help us at these various stages of alcoholism. And then he gets over on page 116 and he says, now we've taken care of that part of your problem in alcoholism, I'm going to tell you what you can do that will take care of you. So in spite of what the alcoholic does or doesn't do, you're going to find a way of living that's going to be worthwhile. And what I very often tell people when I start working with an Al-Anon, all the hell you put up with the Drobude Al-Anon will be more than worthwhile only if you will adopt the program. The 12-step program is a way of life because of the quality of peace and serenity and love you're going to experience, the freedom that comes with it. You can't buy it. He goes ahead then on the next one. Where's the most difficult place to live in our program? The family. And so Bill's kind enough to give us an outline on how we can bring the 12-stepped program into our family unit. I'm an AA. Ma's an Eleanor. The kids are an Eletine. The pups are now a pup. We're all just doing super except when I come home. They ain't doing it my way, right? All hell breaks loose. She's got her ideas. I've got my ideas. Share one with me. Early on we took folks into the house. I loved having them come in the house and see them in the morning and all through the day and at night. And finally got a hold of one. Ma says, you ain't bringing that one in here. And I said, yes, I am. She says, no, you're not. And I say, oh, yes I am She says no,you are not. I think it's the only really heated argument we had. But I said, I don't know what the hell you're going to do, but I'm going to call my sponsor and I'm going to go talk to him about it. So I called Paul and told him he used to be up here on the forest. We had a big boy hamburger joint. So I met Paul up there and I told him what was going on. He said, well, she's right. Go home and make her a man. Just shut up. And went home and made my men. And a few years ago, Mo and I were talking about it, and I said, you know what? I never have asked you. What did Barbara say? Lane had Barbara Davis, one of the precious ladies on God's earth. Barbara was in Al-Anon going to AA meetings before we had Al-ANon in Dallas. And what a gal. I said what did Barbara tell you? She said she just asked me one question. Who's Claire's sponsor? And I said Paul. She said don't worry about it. She'll straighten that fool out. I learned to keep my mouth shut at home. When I had that precious lady with me and she wasn't looking good, I'd say, is there anything I could do? And she'd just say, nope, that's the end of it. I did not try to heal her. But the family afterward is such good information. And I encourage couples to sit down and read this together. And remember, a resentment's a resentment. Fear is fear. Guilt's guilt. Pissed off is pissed off any place we go. And a home is where we do it more than any place else. And these steps work the same way. Remember, we have prayers for resentment. We have prayer for fear. We're told what to do in step 10 to get rid of these negative emotions. We need to apply these at home as well as any place else. One of the things that we can do is learn how to... Oh, on page 135, please note there are three slogans. First things first, live and let live. Easy does it. That's it. and they're not for alcoholics, they're for the families of alcoholics. You don't read the big book, you've got to hang a lot of stuff on the wall, don't you? Step 10 to employers. What the hell do I care about employers for? If you have been like I have been, I had a job and I was drinking on the job and I knocked down an expense account, which seemed to be a legitimate way to do things. But, you know, they trained me. They paid a good salary to get me where I was. And they did everything they could to save me except one thing. There wasn't any treatment back then. But what they did do is save my asses. They fired me. And that turned out to be the best thing on earth that could ever happen to me. And very often when I've had a chance to do a 12-step and the family says, oh, you've got to help him. He's going to lose his job. I say, good. And they look at me like I've lost my mind. The reality is this may be exactly the one thing we proud suckers must have happened to us to get to a point of reality. But anyhow, to employers is a wonderful way to make amends for the work barrier that we have abused. Let's get in there and do what we have been able to do. And I've got a nephew that was a sales manager for a large company. He used to be here for a while, and his wife called one day and said he's about to get fired. And I said, well, do you know the boss man? She said, oh, yeah, we're real close. I said give him a copy of the big book and ask him to read chapter 10. A couple days later I had a call from him. We talked a little bit. He said, what can I do? And I says, is he worth keeping? He said oh, yes, he's one of the best employers I've gotten except right now He's a liability. I'm scared to death. And I said, well, why don't we do this? And I made a suggestion. He did. Well, Keith went back out, but he's doing okay now. Last I heard from him before he went back up, he had over 15 years of sobriety because the guy did what we suggested. He read this chapter and he followed directions and he got Keith where he was back in the world of reality serving at a company that put up with it. and things went very, very well until he got a little bit lax and quit doing the things we all must do to ensure our sobriety. Old TXU Electric pulled the power on us. Chapter 11. This to me is one of the most emotional chapters and most touching chapters in the whole book because in chapter 11 we are told how to bring Alcoholics Anonymous into our part of the world And I'm so very, very thankful that Joe made me read the rest of the book and understand precisely how we go about this process of founding a new group. Before I get into that, though, there's one thing that always passes through my mind when we get back to this part of our program. Most of us are going to be blessed to be planted in some place where people will know where we are. and at the foot or head of where it is we have been planted is going to be a marker. It's going to have our name, it's goingto have our date of birth and our date update. And what's in between it? A little old dash. That dash represents your whole lifetime. That represents everything you have been from birth to death. And the thing that I've come to recognize and I heard somebody say this it really rocked my boat. Each and every one of us is going to be an example when we show up here. We're either going to become students and practitioners of the big book and be a shining example of what this program's about and being a magnet and attraction, and the members of our group are absolutely fantastic at this. It just shows up for you if you're not making meetings where people are really, really happy and love being with each other. Well, get up here at 6.30 to 7 o'clock on meeting nights and see what's going on out here and look at the expression on their face. They're the winners. They are the ones who really paid the price and are getting the prize. And then there's going to be that next category of people who just show up and they sit and they talk and they drink coffee, smoke cigarettes, tell dirty jokes, lie a lot. and they set an example for far too many newcomers because they get an idea from these folks and all they have to do is go to meetings. And they're the ones who come in here and take a look at it and walk right back out. Now you've got a chance to make that dash in your life be one of those three things. Either somebody who accepts the challenge of becoming a responsible member of our fellowship sit around and talk a lot of nonsense and kill a lot of people or just get the hell out of here in a hurry what's your choice going to be but a vision for you is a story of how Bill wound up in Akron got to talk to Dr. Bub and how the two of them put this thing into action and attracted the attention of several leading citizens and got us publicity and support made Alcoholics Anonymous a reality in 1941. And for many years after that, up until the late 60s, we grew and grew and drew. 7%, 20% depend on the period of time. There for a while when the treatment centers were really kicking them out big time, we were getting about 20% growth. Today, tragically, because we have so few who are living by this book, the people who come to us for help, as I've already said, because less than 1% of them will be here 10 years from now. I don't like that. I don' t like that at all. And somebody wanted to know why I was such a hard-ass a few years back, and I told them I have three precious grandchildren. Their daddy is an alcoholic. Both their grandpas are alcoholics. Certainly one or more of them is going to wind up being an alcoholic, and some of you met my precious granddaughter Shelly. She'll be here week after night. Shelly now has five and a half years of sobriety and that big, big ass-kicking kid like you've never seen. I lost my daughter. Some of you heard that the other night. Alcoholism took my daughter away from me back in the 60s. If you were here three years ago when my daughter introduced me to my 21st birthday, you saw what God can do with a relationship that had been totally torn asunder by alcoholism. She's Daddy's little girl again. And there's my precious granddaughter number two As I say, the jury's still out on this kid, but whatever it is. Well, hell, she's in college and having a lot of fun. But that's why I became so hard-nosed. And today has paid off for us here because I was willing to pay the price of taking all the criticism and cut down and goddamn Big Book Thumper. I'd love to be called Big Book thumper anymore. I just say thanks for the compliment. That beats the hell out of you, drunk son of a bitch. Well, maybe it doesn't strike you that way, but it sure does me. You're going to hear it in a minute, but you're going to hear again right now. Go to page 164. Let's go to page 163. I don't want to be over a minute but hell, you're not going anywhere in the room. So your fellow workers will soon have friends galore. Some of them may think perhaps never get up, but if our experience is a criterion more than half of those approached. More than half of those approach. Those that we go out and find coming off a drunk are going to make it. More than half. When a few men in this city have found themselves and have discovered the joy of helping others, what are we promised in this thing? We're going to be happy, joyous, and free. Happiness and freedom come with step nine. Joy comes with sponsorship. That's what we're here for. Still, you may say, but I will not have the benefit of contact with you who write this book. Well, we can't be sure. God will determine that, so you must remember your real reliance is always upon Him. He will show you how to create the fellowship you crave. I have the fellowship that I crave beyond anything I ever dreamed for. I have more friends today than I ever dreamt possible. Real, honest-to-God friends. But our book has been meant to be suggestive only. We tell you you've got to do it, you ain't going to do It. so we just suggest you do it. Only if you want to live. We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Live this program, and you're going to be getting uh-huhs from here on to the day you go. It just blows me away with every once in a while something gets in my head and I say, uh-uh, you did it again. A whole new concept is disclosed. Here we go. Twelve-step prayer. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do once in a while, each day. Did you wake up this morning? Did you have to have a drink? Are you indebted to anybody or anything for that reality? Ask Him into your morning medication what you could do each day for the man who is still sick. What's the promise? Your answers will come if your own house is in order, but obviously you can't give what you ain't got. For God's sake, please don't assume the responsibility for a newcomer if you have not had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps. And if you are a newcomor and looking for a sponsor, the first question you ask is, have you had a spirit? Have you had spiritual awakeningas a resultofthese steps? Remember, rigorous honesty. Because I'm going to let you have the responsibility of whether I live or die. Is that what sponsorship is? If you don't recognize that, that's a tragedy. And when we take somebody on, we don't take them on to raise them, do we? We take them one to do what? To learn how to follow the direction in this book so they become reliant on the program of alcoholics and honest. I don't want to rely on me. I don' t have a solution for a problem. This is a solution to our problems. And Joe told me early on, what we see on page 45, this book will be a solution to all our problems has proved to be true for 24 years. at this point. I have yet to encounter one case just had and I'll take it back. The guy probably could really use professional help. Psychological, psychiatric help. Other than that, I have not seen a single person that I've worked with that needed anything more than the 12 steps of alcoholics. As Joe says, God is sufficient. If you haven't tried it, don't knock it. But the one thing Bill said early on Somebody said, can you describe your program in simple terms? And he said, I certainly can. It is a complete mystery shrouded in utter simplicity. Now don't screw it up at getting smart. Just stay real dumb and read only the black on white. And I don't know if anybody told you today that they love you. I brought this along. In chapter 11, Bill used some other stuff. I brought these along because this thing is the first one I used back in 1964. One of the advantages of showing up early is, guess how much I had to pay for this thing? $2.90. You know what Hazelden charged for today? Well, hell, go online and find out. This is a bargain. But this is a wonderful companion for our big book in Step 11. That's it, kids. Thanks for being here. You all have a wonderful, wonderful New Year. Thank you. If you haven't got a sponsor, don't you dare leave here without one because we've got the best on earth. God bless. I love you all and thanks for being a part of my life. Thank you.