The Three-Legged Stool – Workshop – Part 1 of 4 – Bill L.

My name is Bill O'Neil Pollack. Hey Bill. Hi Bill. Hey Bill Just I guess to do kind of a quick review of what we hit up on last week, we didn't touch upon much but just to kind of do a quick review so there are people here, one of those people that weren't here last week. we kind of just went over some stuff about how we wanted to proceed, where everybody was in their work and kind of what they're looking for to get out of this. But we kind OF started talking about the circle and triangle with what is, for me, an important symbol in that up until somebody explained the circle and triangle to me, I never knew that AA had three parts to its solution. The circle and triangle base of it is recovery, which is the program of the 12 steps. The left side of the triangle is unity, which the fellowship, which also has 12 traditions. And the right side, which a service, which was the getting back in and outside of AA, which has the 12 concepts. Also, it's an ancient symbol that represents body, mind, and soul together or wholeness as one. It encompasses the three aspects of humanness. And where we bring the body is to the fellowship. And what we bring to mind is to program or the recovery. And where we bring our spirits to grow more is through service and self-sacrifice for others. So first of all, for me it's important to see that the solution output is in those three parts but just as importantly I need to ask myself am I utilizing or am I in currently all three parts? So it's also been equated to like a three legged stool that if we have all three legs it's a solid structure I'd assume as one of the legs is compromised, there's a good chance we're going to fall over. Also, I personally have never seen nor heard of anyone in AA that was in all three parts and then went back out. But I know people that were heavily at the service and were going to a lot of meetings that didn't get into the program or weren't currently practicing it that went back up. I know some people that, you know, were just at the surface and were just into the programs and stopped going to meetings and they went back out, but I've never known anybody that was in all three parts that went back out. So for me it's kind of important. Also we talked about the table of contents in that the book is set up in a very specific way. It's sort of the ultimate 12-step call for me. It's sort ofthe ultimate 12 step outline, let me call it. It starts with the doctor's opinion which tells us what the problem which is a three-fold problem, which is why our solution has three parts. It's because our problem is three-part, body, mind, and spirit. Then in Bill's story, there's an example of the problem. Bill was a low-bottom drunk, and then when he applied all of the tools of our solution and utilized everything encompassing the circle and triangle, he never drank again. Then in there is a solution. There's a little bit of a history, and then it kind of gets into what our solution is, which is a higher power working in and through us. And then in more of an alcoholism, they give us a few examples of the futility of trying to help ourselves with our alcoholism without having the solution of a higher power and inevitably we go back to changing it. We just try to use our own willpower or self-knowledge or geographical cures or all the other different ways that we try. Fear, stuff like that. And then we agnostics, it's sort of a God 101 in that it gives us some basic principles of how to develop your own concept of a higher power. And then in how it works into action, working with others, two wives, family afterwards, two employers and a vision for you. I almost forgot that one. They give us how to bring about this power working in and through us. is that, you know, for me, the solution to alcoholism isn't God. I believe there is a God, but there's people that don't have the solution to alcoholismo. For me, The Solution to Alcoholism is that higher power working in and through us. And that's what the steps do is remove the blocks from that power working in it through us, and I guess that's kind of a brief review. Hi, everyone. My name is Mike. I am an alcoholic. Hey, Mike. The only thing I want to touch upon from – actually, we didn't cover it last week. But if you would all turn to the title page of your big book where it says Alcoholics Anonymous, the story of how many thousands of men and women have recovered from alcoholism. And what I was told is that, you know, let's set aside the fact that the supposed 12 promises of Alcoholics Anonymous are on pages 83 and 84, when in actuality they're the promises of the 9th step. I was taught that where it says here how many thousands of men and women have recovered from alcoholism is the very first promise in the big book. because it tells me that thousands of men and women that have gone before me have recovered from alcoholism and a promise is a statement of hope. So this statement here gives me hope that if thousands of women and thousands of people and thousands and thousands of men or women have gone before me and they've recovered then I have a chance to recover too and you know nowhere have I found in this book that says you're going to be recovering for the rest of your life you know And probably some of the things that Bill and I are going to be saying, well, I should probably speak for myself. You're welcome. In the upcoming weeks may go a little contrary to some of the things you might hear in your average AA meeting, and this is one of them. I am a recovered alcoholic. I have recovered from the illness or the disease of alcoholism via the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. I no longer have the symptoms of alcoholism as far as the mind is concerned. We're going to find out in the first step that we're always going to be alcoholic in the body, but at least as far As the mind Is concerned, which is where we actually get to recover, I no Longer display those symptoms, and we're going to find that out in the weeks to come and the chapters to come so you won't see me at local Alcoholics Anonymous meeting saying my name is Mike and I'm a recovering alcoholic I am a recovered alcoholic ED why don't we I think what I'd like to do is probably take about a minute just to get quiet and just do a little meditation a little silence and then if you notice for anyone that was here last week I said I'd have it this week and Bill was kind enough to throw it in the packet it's called the set aside prayer so I think what we'll use as a group at least for the first two steps is the set aside prayer one thing that I failed to mention last week and I almost forgot to mention it this week that if you notice on the flyer it says that we're going to go through the steps as a group and some people may misinterpret that to mean that when we come to the fourth and fifth step that we are going to do like a group fifth step and you are going have to air all your dirty laundry in front of however many people are here that's not the case whether it be your sponsor or whether it is someone from this work group or whether it be Bill and I or whoever we strongly suggest that you do a one on one fist step we're going to find some different variations of that when we get to the fist step but we'll talk about that in the weeks to come but don't worry you're not going to have to go up to the podium and there's only one woman here so i guess i can say it you're not going to have to go up to the podium and talk about your your adventures on the farm or anything like that all right um if that offended anyone i'm sorry mike you want to comment on these yeah sure um these sessions will be taped if at any time you feel uncomfortable and you want the tape shut off just let me know um for the most part only bill and i will be taped and this is just so when people come in in the upcoming weeks um they have something to listen to so they can get uh caught up um we're probably bill and I are probably going to babble back and forth for the first hour this is a 90 minute meeting and we'll open it up to you guys for the last 30 minutes. When Bill and I are done for the evening, I will shut the recorder off. If there's a question or anything that may be important, I just might turn it back on, repeat the question, and then one of us will answer it and then shut it back off. Set aside prayer. As I may have alluded to last week, this prayer as it's outlined here is not found in our big book. But I believe and the people that have gone before us believe that there are many references made to it in the big book, specifically in chapter four, we agnostics don't limit yourself to the prayer as it is on this paper. We're just going to say it as it is on this page and we're going to do it as a group for lack of a better way to do it as a groups but what I suggest you do that anytime you open up the book on your own to go through the material that we're going to cover in the first step or even in your morning prayer meditation or in your evening quiet time I would suggest that you say this prayer while we're in the first two steps. And again, put it in your own words and your own language and put in that prayer anything that you would like to have a new experience with including the stuff that we're going to be covering in the steps. So if we could just get quiet for about a minute and then as a group we'll say the prayer together. Thank you. Okay, set aside prayer. Dear God, please set aside everything I think I know about myself, my disease, the big book, the 12 steps, the program, the fellowship, the people in the fellowship and all spiritual terms, especially you, God, so I may have an open mind and a new experience with all these things. Please help me see the truth. Amen. Okay, from here, Bill's going to take us through the preface and the forwards. And then when he's done with that, I'll get us started on step one and the doctor's opinion. Before I start, Mike had said that that title page is the first promise. And I've actually found a promise that's before that. if you actually close your book and open the cover but don't open any pages for me that is the first promise and what's on that page the promise on that page is that if you do nothing you get nothing it's more of a subtle promise but I always like starting with that because it's kind of you know the half measures talk the half measure's comment half measures of ALS, nothing so less measures of ALS less but if you can turn to the preface which is XI I know that the study edition doesn't have the preference no it doesn't make it mention about the word recovered and you'll see it in a couple of the parts here I guess just the first two paragraphs there it says this is the third edition of the book Alcoholics Anonymous. The first edition appeared in April 1939 and in the following 16 years more than 300,000 copies went into circulation. The second edition published in 1955 reached a total of more than 1,150,000 copies. Because the book has become the basic text for our society and has helped such large numbers of alcoholic men and women to recovery there exists a sentiment against any radical changes being made in it. Therefore the first portion of this volume which is everything up to including page 164, describing the AA recovery program has been left untouched in the course of revisions made for both the second and third editions. This section, called The Doctor's Opinion, has been kept intact just as it was originally written in 1939 by the late Dr. William D. Silkworth, our society's great medical benefactor. And the first part of that second paragraph there mentions that this is our basic text. it also mentions that there have been some words that have been changed but basically the front of this book hasn't been touched for me that's kind of a difficult thing when it comes to alcoholics we want to get in there and fix it and improve it I think it's a real blessing that we haven't touched it kind of like a miracle is probably a better way to put it but it's my belief that it worked great back then works great now. Maybe some of the colors and looks of bottles are a little bit different today, but alcohol is just the same as it was back then, and alcoholics are still dealing with and trying to have a relationship with alcohol just like they did back then. These steps and this program in the circle in China and all that works just as well today as it did back then. Also, it says that it's our basic text. Now, a text is a little bit different than a novel or just a regular kind of a book. A text assumes that the reader knows nothing about the subject, starts with certain basic information and then builds upon it. Like a math text will have addition and subtraction, that's what it will begin with, and then it will get into multiplication and division, and maybe a couple chapters later it gets its algebra or whatever after it builds upon itself to bring the reader to that point. And just like we had said in the table of contents, this book starts with certain basic information and then builds upon itself. And I know when I first came into AA, there were people that said to me, well if you want to know how it works then go to chapter 5. It's called How It Works and you'll be able to figure it out. But you see chapter 5 begins with the third step. So if I don't have the 70 or 60 or 70 pages of information that they this gave me that spell out steps one and two then in opening a book to step three i don't agree that i'm insane i don' t agree that i need this higher power thing uh you know i'm kind of lost in the middle of the program where i need to start at the beginning um and i guess let's go to the forward to the first edition xiii and with the i guess the same page of the third edition it says we have alcoholics anonymous and more than 100 men and women who have recovered from in a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book. For them, we hope these pages will prove so convincing that no further authentication will be necessary. We think this account of our experiences will help everyone to better understand the alcoholic. Many do not comprehend that the alcoholic is a very sick person and that's probably only if they don't have an alcoholic in their life. and besides we are sure that our way of living has its advantages for all and that last line there kind of has two angles about it the 12 steps are now being used by over 200 fellowships so uh our way life has found its advantages from many many people but also it has its disadvantages for the people that are around the alcoholic who have found this solution and I think we'll mention that. So there's kind of two ways you can look at that last line. Also, there's the first time that the book mentions the word recovered. I guess it's the fifth line down. It says precisely how we have recovered. The word recovered is all over our literature. And something that I also like to point out in talking about the word recovered, which, like Mike had said, isn't necessarily a popular word in AA today, But medically, Bill actually used that word properly. That recovered does not mean cured. As a matter of fact, later on it talks about that we are not cured of alcoholism, but we have as a daily pre-continued maintenance of our spiritual condition. And the word recovered means that the symptoms of the disease has been removed. And the Word cured means that the disease hasn't been removed So again, Bill used the word properly that these people who implemented this way of life the symptoms of the disease has been removed so they have recovered from the disease now as long as they stay spiritually fit, they'll remain in that recovered state now what does the word recovered mean in the context of this book if you turn to page 84 starting at the bottom of the page it contains the paragraph which is known as the 10 step promises Mike had mentioned the 9 step promises before as well as some of the earlier promises the two that we touched upon most of the steps in this book have promises associated with it and these are the promises associated with the tenth step and for me, this is the definition of what the word recovered means down at the bottom of page 84 it says, and we have ceased fighting anything or anyone, even alcohol for by this time sanity which is the ability to see the truth about alcohol will have returned we will seldom be interested in liquor if tempted we will recoil from it as if from a hot flame we react sanely and normally and we will find that this has happened automatically we will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part it just comes that is the miracle of it we are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation we feel as though we have been placed in a position of neutrality safe and protected we have not even sworn off instead the problem has been removed and later tonight we'll be talking about two parts of the problem we're talking about here is the mental obsession and the spiritual malady it continues to say that it does not exist for us we are neither cocky nor are we afraid that is our experience and then there's a warning that is how we react so long as or if we keep in fit spiritual condition for me that's the definition of the word recovered in the context of this book and again you'll see throughout our literature it does use the word recovered four lines down from the first paragraph on forward to the first edition says to show other alcoholics Precisely How We Have Recovered, is the main purpose of this book. This book is going to at times use very strong language. Here it uses the word precisely over on page 20. It says it is the purpose to answer such questions, specifically the questions of what do I have to do. And then over on 29 it says further on clear-cut directions are given showing how we have recovered. again so again they're not mincing words here and they're going to tell us precisely specifically and give us clear cut directions on what we need to do to recover from alcoholism let's go over to forward to the second edition which again unfortunately well I guess you've got a regular book too so that's good I just want to touch upon a couple things and then we'll get into the doctor's opinion. I'm just trying to think about what I want to throw out here. Why don't we turn to XVI? It's talking about the leaving of Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob and right in the middle of the page there it begins by saying that prior to Bill's journey to Akron Bill had worked hard with many alcoholics on a theory that only an alcoholic could help an alcoholic but he had succeeded only in keeping himself sober now that's an important statement and he touches upon it again down below that for six months Bill had tried at the hospital that he had gone to when he finally detoxed the last time to help other alcoholics, but he didn't seem to be helping anybody but himself. But at first, he didn' t even notice that he was helping himself, and his wife pointed that out. And she said, Bill, you know, whatever you're doing, keep doing it because you've been sober for six months, and that's never happened before. So Bill couldn' t understand why it wasn' t working, but he did notice that it was helping him. And just before he left to go to Akron, he was walking down the hall after working with some people, and Dr. Silkworth, who wrote The Doctor's Opinion, kind of cornered him and said, Bill, you know, you've been shoving this religious or spiritual experience down people's throats and that may not be the best way to go about it. What you might consider is doing what I did for you by first explaining what is the difference between an alcoholic and unalcoholic. Talk to them about your experiences with alcohol up until the point that you got sober and let them see that you were where they are and then they'll be piqued and interested in knowing how all of a sudden now six months have gone by and you haven't drank. Talk to him about the problem first And then when they're interested in a solution, Ben talked to him about a solution. And coincidentally, the first person that Bill talked to was Dr. Bob when he went to Akron. So again, that's kind of why this book is outlined the way it is, like starting with the problem and then getting into a solution of that. It says that Bill had gone to Akroon on a business venture which had collapsed, leaving him greatly in fear that he might start drinking again. He suddenly realized that in order to save himself, he must carry his message to another alcoholic. And that alcoholic ended up being Dr. Rob. and notice what it says there that he realized in order to save himself he must carry his message to another alcoholic what you'll see again and again throughout this book and what you see again and again throughout the early days of AA was that Bob didn't ask for help Bill went and helped him Evie or Bill didn't ask for health Evie went and helped him Evie didn't ask for help Roland Hazard went and helped him Bill D AA number 3 didn't ask for help Bill and Bob who showed up and started helping him And personally, my technique of working with people and something I like passing along to people is that I'm not a big fan of somebody raises their hand at a meeting and says, you know, I'm new. And they pass around the phone list. And when the meeting's over, people kind of file by and say, don't drink in front of meetings. Here's my phone number. I'll see you next week or here's some meetings or whatever, I'll just see you. See you next time, next week, whatever. And after that line kind of files by, just before the guy's getting ready to leave, I kind of try to shoot over and I'll sit down with him and try to talk to him about alcoholism and what differentiates an alcoholic from a non-alcoholic, see if he can relate to what I'm talking about when I describe an alcoholic I then will get his phone number as well as give him mine because on one level we're admitting that this person who's very new probably hasn't made very many good decisions recently in his life and now we're expecting him to make a good decision by calling some people that he doesn't even know to get help and you know I don't believe that I help new people because they're sick I believe that I help new People because I'm sick and I need to be helping people so I'm more of a big fan of giving them my phone number but also getting their phone number and calling them and making arrangements to maybe sit down and go to a meeting and sit down and go through the book or whatever so you know again and again in history people didn't ask for help these people were desperate enough to seek to help people whether they were asking for help or not and you know we need to find out whether they want to be helped or not if they don't want to be helped is something we can do but uh you know i believe that and the essence of the original message was that we need to be seeking people to help and now we don't help them because they're sick we help them porque we're sick and this is a good example of it that bill saw that i'm not going to be able to stay sober unless i go find somebody to work with and it says that this physician or dr bob had repeatedly tried spiritual means to resolve his alcoholic dilemma but it failed but when the but when bill gave him dr silkworth's description of alcoholism and its hopelessness, the physician began to pursue a spiritual remedy for his malady with a willingness he had never been able to muster. He sobered never to drink again up to the moment of his death in 1950. This seemed to prove that one alcoholic could affect another as no non-alcoholic could. Notice this next line. It says it also indicated that strenuous work, one alcoholic or another, was vital to permanent recovery. Again, Bill's not being subtle here. also what's kind of interesting is that for two or three years before Bill found the solution to alcoholism Dr. Bob had been amongst where Bill found a solution which was the Oxford group Bill had been going back and forth for about three years before he met Bill yet he drank every day during that period of time and he was practicing a lot of the stuff that the Oxford Group was passing along but there were two things that he wouldn't do and coincidentally as soon as he started doing those two things, as well as all the other things that he was doing that the Oxford group suggested that they do, which ended up being our program, he never drank again. And those two things were, he wasn't willing to work with people, because Bill wasn't really, I mean Bob wasn't really the most sociable kind of a guy. He was kind of, uh, a little ornery and a little bit unapproachable, and he just really didn't think it was important to work with people. The other thing that he wasn'T willing to do was that he WASN'T willing to go make amends. Now, uh Bill, uh Bob was a doctor, and He felt that if he went and made amends, especially to people in his town, that that would ruin all his business, which was pretty bad to begin with. Those are the two things that he wasn't willing to do. As soon as he started doing those things, he'd never drag again, as well as all the other things that we were doing up until that point that the Oxford group had laid out, which Bill took and made into our 12 steps. Again, something that's important with half measures of endless nothing. That's a really good example of what happened with Bob. Okay, then you turn to XX, please. Top of the page talks about public acceptance of AA group by leaps and bounds. For this, there were two principal reasons, the large numbers of recoveries in reunited homes. They made their impressions everywhere of alcoholics who came to AA and really tried, 50% got sober at once and remained that way, 25% sobered up after some relapses, and among the remainder, those who stayed on with AA showed improvement. Now this is the foreword to the second edition. So it was written in 1955, which was 16 years after the big book came out and 20 years after AA began. Now I agree that statistics can be altered. I've also seen many statistics from early AA. Some of it's in our literature, some of it from letters and just collecting facts about early AA. I've actually seen higher rates than that. As a matter of fact, when Dr. Bob and the good old-timers, he talks about that in Cleveland the recovery rate there was 93 percent of people that came to AA got into the program and never drank again. Those are some pretty heavy statistics. The thing was that it was very different back then. You couldn't go to 90 meetings in 90 days. There weren't 90 meetings in your area. If you had one meeting a week, you were lucky that you could drive to. You were lucky. As a matter of fact, it says in Dr. Bob and the Good Old Timers that going to meetings wasn't stress. They were just good if you could. But getting into the recovery program and getting into morning meditation and getting in to being of service to other people were musts on a daily basis. So back then, when you came to AA, you were brought into the program and then after going through all 12 steps and getting acclimated into what the program is, then you brought that to the fellowship and that was what you found at the fellowship when you showed up. So a big difference in the way it is today. Today it's more of a fellowship-oriented kind of thing. Back then it was very much of a program-oriented thing and then you bought that and your experience with it into the fellowship. So something we try to do in talking about stuff like that is that maybe we can get back to the way it was and maybe we'll have the same statistics that we had back then because things seem to be changing drastically today. And then at the bottom of the, forward to the third edition, it talks about, right at the top of the page, at the very bottom there, it says, In spite of the great increase in the size and the span of the fellowship, at its core it remains simple and personal. Each day somewhere in the world recovery begins when one alcoholic talks with another alcoholic, sharing experience, strength, and hope. And for me, that's where the excitement in my life comes into play, sitting down with somebody one-on-one or a couple people maybe at a table and just getting into it with this book, talking about experience, strengths, and hopes. Not opinions, strengths and hopes, but experience, strenghts and hopes with what this is saying. Ask questions. You'll notice as we go through over the next few weeks, there's lots of statements in this book that can be turned into questions and when it describes an alcoholic we might be pausing and saying is this your experience? It just described the experience of an alcoholic. Is that your experience ? So those are statements that you can turn into questions and as you go through this book in watching a new person's eyes open up and see that this is a whole lot more simple than I thought it was I'm a whole not closer to this whole higher power thing than I though I was I finally realize what it means to be an alcoholic. Things like that will hopefully be happening as we go through the weeks to come. So, I don't know. That's all I have with the forwards. If you want to do a little exercise over in the next week with the forward start with the first forward to the first edition and notice that the first word of the first foreword of the first edition is we. And go through the forward to the first edition and count how many times the word we is used. And then do the same thing with forward to the second edition and the same thing with foreword to the third edition. We'll do it the fourth time. I don't know, I haven't counted that. That'll be our assignment over the next week. also coincidentally the first two forwards Bill wrote but the third forward Bill did not write and you'll notice a distinct difference with that word we and based on based on your count when you go through that exercise I wonder if that has something to do with the differences between the recovery rate between 39 and 55 than what we have today that just may be an opinion but you will find something interesting when you go through that exercise what's that I've heard numbers between 3 and 10 percent I mean I called a couple of the inner groups and central offices around the country and I couldn't get any information out of them because back in the early years of Alcoholics Anonymous they actually used to keep records. The secretary for each group would actually keep records on who was coming and they would take your phone number and in some cases addresses and if you didn't come to one or two meetings, you would get a phone call from the secretary just see how you're doing, what's going on is there any way the group can be helpful towards you and nowadays they just don't keep records probably for good reason But it would be really difficult to track exactly what our recovery rate is, but I've heard numbers from anywhere to 3% to 10%. It's interesting too in research and history and stuff. When the Jack Alexander and the Saturday Evening Post article came out in 1941, where he got a lot of his information from and what he did as he went around the United States going to AA meetings, even though there weren't very many, he would ask the group put together a roster of all the people that come to your meetings when they came in, how they're doing and I have letters at home one of which is from Philadelphia which is actually AA group number 4 that has each person's name that went to the meetings in Philadelphia when they come in how much time they had and how they were doing if they ever relapsed and stuff like that so they took very specific detailed attendances, so to speak of how they were doing so these statistics that were thrown out are not just kind of random they're not based on our opinion these are facts that they kept statistics back in the beginning You'll notice that the doctor's opinion which is information that we're going to part of the information that we're gonna cover for the first step you're gonna notice that And along with the forwards and the preface, it's in the Roman numeral section. Now, for the first edition, between 39 and 55, the doctor's opinion was on page one. And something I'm actually pretty psyched about to see what happens is that there's a movement within AA. and for anyone that's familiar with area service and service on AA on a whole scale, one of the conference agenda items for the big conference, the General Service Conference in New York this year which takes place in April. I believe it's the last week of April. One of the Conference Agenda Items is to see if we can get the doctor's opinion back on page one like it originally was I don't know if Bill has found anything differently but out of all the research I've done and all the people I've listened to nobody really seems to know why and there really seems to be no evidence of why the doctor's opinion was put into the Roman numeral section so we'll see what happens with the general service conference this year and I strongly encourage you to be at your group's group conscience meeting and give your vote to your GSR so he or she can go to the mini-conference and hopefully get taken up to the general service conference. I don't know about any of you, but whenever I used to read books, I always started with page one. to me the Roman numeral stuff was well it was for other people it wasn't for me it was just the intro stuff and I wanted to get to the meat of things if I start with page one in this book I'm going to be starting with Bill's story and Bill's story is an example and a really good example of an alcoholic but I'm gonna miss a lot of good information particularly that has to do with the body and why my body reacts differently to alcohol than the average tempered drinker does. So anyone that you're working with or anyone that you sponsor in the future, I highly encourage you to advise them to start right in the beginning. I have them start right on that title page. We're going to cover the first step in three parts over the next few weeks. This step as it's read off the wall or as it is read off of page 59 says we admit it, we are powerless over alcohol, dash, that our lives have become unmanageable. And we're going to take this section before the dash, we admit we are powerless over alcohol and we're gonna chop that into two parts. We admit we're powerless over alcoholic bodily and we admit it, we're proud of this over alcohol mentally. And then take the section after the dash that our lives have become unmanageable. We're going to call that the spiritual malady. And when we get to that point, we are going to... I don't know, it almost seems like this year Bill and I have been on a crusade to find all the different parts of the big book that refer to the spiritual malady and it was several years that I was into this work before I even saw that it existed in this book and then I saw that the spiritual malady existed within me and then once I saw it I thought it was only a description that's referred to as the bedevilments on page 52 but like I said Bill and I have been going through this book especially with taking other people through this book that's that's where we uh experience most of the stuff that that uh that we experience and uh it's it's just it's intermingled throughout the first 164 pages and uh it's really easy to miss so we're probably going to cover that in as great a detail as we do the body and the mind when it comes to the body the physical part of of step one we're going to find out that we have an allergic reaction to alcohol and Dr. Silkworth is going to refer to that as a craving the phenomenon of craving and we're gonna use information from the doctor's opinion to page 23 to look at the body of an alcoholic then we're gunna use pages 23-43 to look at the mind and then we are gunna us page 52 and several other sections in the book to look at the spiritual malady. And when I say spiritual malty, all I mean is that we are blocked off from God. We're going to find out that the core of our problem, the root of our illness, is selfishness and self-centeredness. And that's going to manifest before the mental obsession. And the mental obsession, once triggered by the spiritual malady The mental obsession is going to trigger me picking up a drink And then the drink is goingto trigger the phenomena of craving So it's actually What's going to lead me to picking up the drink Is actually in reverse order Of what is laid out in the big book So let's start with the doctor's opinion Page XXIII and I'd really like to cover this in the next 15 minutes so we can do as we promised go to the middle of the page it says in late 1934 I attended a patient who and this is Dr. Silkworth talking in his first letter I attended a patient who though he had been a competent businessman of good earning capacity was an alcoholic of a type I had come to regard as hopeless. In the course of his third treatment, he acquired certain ideas concerning a possible means of recovery. As part of his rehabilitation, he commenced to present his conceptions to other alcoholics, impressing upon them that they must do likewise with still others. And for anyone that has protégés or sponsees or is currently taking other drunks through the steps, you can use this statement as a a 12-step tip that impressing upon them that they must do likewise with still others. I impress that upon the people that I work with. If I'm taking you through the steps, the only thing that I expect out of you, and it's probably not even an expectation anymore, but the only things that I'd like to see happen And as the result of you going through the process is that you'll pass on to someone else what we've passed on to you. And if you've had a spiritual awakening, you'll have no choice but it's of a rapidly growing fellowship of these men and their families. This man and over 100 others appear to have recovered again indeed. And when Silky refers to this man, he's talking about Bill Wilson. I personally know scores of cases who were of the type with whom other methods had failed completely. Dr. Silkworth worked with a lot of drunks in Towns Hospital. Do you know the actual number? Is it 5,000 or something? No, I have no idea. But when he wrote this, he had nine years' experience. These facts appear to be of extreme medical importance because of the extraordinary possibilities of rapid growth inherent in this group, they may mark a new epoch, which means an era or age in the annals, which means history of alcoholism. These men may well have a remedy for thousands of such situations. And here's an amazing statement coming from a doctor talking about a bunch of drunks. He says, you may rely absolutely on anything they say about themselves. I don't know about you all, but when I was drinking, nobody was saying that you may absolutely rely on anything that Mike says about himself. The physician who at our request gave us this letter has been kind enough to enlarge upon his views in another statement which follows. In this statement he confirms what we who have suffered alcoholic torture you must believe that the body of the alcoholic is quite as abnormal as the mind. And I didn't know that when I got here. You know, I didn'T really know much about alcoholism at all besides the fact that I knew I drank a lot and that I just didn'T want to live anymore like that. But I had a feeling that it had something to do with my mind but I had no clue that when I drank alcohol, I actually had an allergic reaction to alcohol. It did not satisfy us to be told that we could not control our drinking just because we were maladjusted to life, that we were in full flight from reality or we were outright mental defectives. And it really interests me that I could not patrol my drinking even though I wanted to. These things were true to some extent And in fact To a considerable extent with some of us But we are sure that our bodies Were sickened as well In our belief, any picture of the alcoholic Which leaves out this physical factor Is incomplete So the doctor's theory That we have an allergy to alcohol Interests us As laymen, our opinion as to its soundness May of course mean little But as ex-problem drinkers and in the original manuscript and I also think in the first edition it says as ex-alcoholics we can say that his explanation makes good sense. It explains many things for which we cannot otherwise account. You know, it explained that why I had all intentions of going into a bar just for a couple drinks. I went in there at 5 o'clock in the afternoon and I had all intentions of being home for dinner at 6 o' clock but with the greatest intentions that by 1 or 2 o' clock in the morning I was closing up the bar. And that's not because of my mind that's because I had an allergic reaction to alcohol that I had no control over once I put alcohol in my body. Also So something that really confused me was my experience up until that point with the word allergy was, you know, I knew people that had like hay fever and, you Know, certain seasons they would get watery eyes and all that. I know people that were allergic to certain foods and, You know, they'd break out in their eyes or their throat would swell up or whatever. And when I checked out, well, I didn't get any of that. So that word allergy really threw me off. And then someone explained to me that the word allergy is an abnormal reaction to any food, beverage, or liquid. So in looking at that I have an abnormal reaction to alcohol, what's a normal reaction to alcohol? And I would ask people that I sometimes even drank with way back when that would have one or two drinks and then they'd go home or they'd stop or or they'd say things like, you know, I'm feeling the first one, so I don't want another one. And what happens to them is they get this out-of-control, tipsy, beginning of a nauseating, I don'T LIKE THIS, SO I DON'T WANT ANY MORE kind of a feeling when they drink alcohol. And I don' t know if anybody else here, but that's not my experience with alcohol. I get this in-control ease and comfort, I LOVE THIS, I WANT TO GET UP AND GO INTO TOWN, YOU KNOW, EXHILARATING, I WANTS MORE OF THIS KIND OF A FEELING. And if 9 out of 10 people get the tipsy, I don't like this kind of a feeling, and 1 out of 13 people statistically get this other reaction, then that's an abnormal reaction to alcohol. So when he's talking about an allergy there, there's two things that goes on. First of all, our abnormal reaction is that we get this in control, I like this at the beginning, you know, I get an exhilarating kind of feeling. And also, like Mike had said, that once I start, I set up a craving where I want more. And once I stop, I can't stop and I can always predict how much I'm going to drink once I start. So that's an abnormal reaction to alcohol and that's allergy to alcohol with that definition. So for me, that was really important to learn about that word because that whole thing really just didn't make sense to me until I learned what that word meant. If you would, turn over to Roman numeral 16, XXVI. If you have a fourth edition, it's Roman numerel 18. First full paragraph. We believe and so suggested a few years ago that the action or the effect of alcohol on these chronic or repetitive alcoholics is a manifestation or an indication or a result of something of an allergy. that the phenomena of craving or if you choose to you can refer to it as the physical craving is limited to this class and never occurs in the average temperate drinker when Silky says the phenomena I'm craving even back then they didn't quite understand it modern medicine has researched it over the years and they kind of know a little bit more about what happens in the body of an alcoholic but still it's a phenomena. Phenomena means they're not really sure why it happens They're not really sure like Bill said why that 1 out of 10 or 1 out 13 people is an alcoholic and the 9 out of 10 or 12 out of 13 people are average normal temperate drinkers It says these allergic types can never safely use alcohol Never safely use Alcohol in any form at all And once having formed the habit And found they cannot break it Once having lost their self confidence Their reliance upon things human Their problems pile up on them And become astonishingly difficult to solve I believe Yes It's on the second page of your handout Bill was kind enough to put in here an article entitled Alcohol Does Not Cook Off and alcohol does not burn off when you cook it I suggest you go through that article and you read it and take a look at it it says that if you're allergic to alcohol that you can never safely use alcohol in any form whatsoever. That includes foods that have alcohol cooked in them. That includes mouthwash. That includes what's that called? NyQuil? NyQuill is like straight alcohol. That's why it works so well. I used to wonder when I would get a cold or make up an excuse to have a cold when I drank, why I could just go through a bottle of NyQuil. I mean, normal people don't drink cough medicine like that or cold medicine. But this alcoholic surely did. Also notice that it talks about having formed the habit and found they cannot break it. Once having lost their self-confidence, their reliance upon things human, that their problems pile up on them and become astonishingly difficult to solve. He's alluding to the unmanageability there about our problems piling up on us. Frothy emotional appeal seldom suffices. The message which can interest and hold these alcoholic people must have depth and weight. In nearly all cases, their ideals must be grounded in a power greater than themselves if they are to recreate their lives. Frothy and frothy emotional appeal means light-hearted in content. And the frothy, emotional appeal comes from other people and also myself. You know, like, honey, why don't you just quit drinking for me? Or what used to come out of my mouth is, you know, I got to stop this. I promise you that I will never, ever come home in this condition again. And the next day or a week later or a couple hours later, depending on the situation, I did it all over again and I couldn't help it. Even like bosses, you know, I had a boss say to me, you know if you come back from lunch drunk again, you're not going to be working here anymore. And I started wondering, I wonder where I'm going to get another job. i'll be coming home i'll be coming back from lunch drunk i mean maybe not today maybe not this week maybe not this month or a judge you know if you come in front of me again you're going to go to jail or even that famous question for me which is if anybody thought this way i'd like to guarantee that you are an alcoholic and that's when you're in front of a judge and he says listen you have two options you're either going to go to the joint for six months or you can go to rehab for 30 days what's your choice going to be and you look at him and say can i think about it there isn't Anybody in the world that's not an alcoholic that's going to not take that stint in the rehab. If I was ever before a judge and thought that way, I'll pretty much guarantee that you're an alcoholic. Yeah. Okay, last paragraph on that same page. One thing I failed to mention so we can have an experience together as a group but also as individuals. Bill read earlier that this book is a textbook and I don't know of any good textbook that doesn't have questions that goes along with it what I've been taught to do with this book is to take statements in here and turn them into questions so I can answer them for myself so I can start considering statements to see if I am or if I'm not an alcoholic I think from here on out We'll start doing that as we go along. I'll give you an example of how to do that. Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. Now, they say men and women, but they're talking about alcoholics here. And you'll notice in the next couple lines that he's not just talking about the average man and woman. They're talking About Alcoholics Here. So turn that statement into a question for yourself. Did I drink because I liked the effect introduced by alcohol? This sensation is so elusive that while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the truth from the false. Was that the case with me? Even when I would admit that alcohol is injuring me, could I tell the truth form the false? To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. Was that to case with my? they are restless irritable and discontented unless they can again experience a sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks drinks which they see others taking with impunity and uh we'll cover this later as as we talk about the the spiritual malady but here's three key factors in the spiritual malady being restless, irritable and discontented you know and alcohol treated that for me I would even go so far as to say that it treats it treats that condition for non-alcoholics also but because non-alkoholics don't have the allergy of the body, they don't get trashed and they don' t end up blacking out and as my friend Chris says they don''t end up in Topeka Kansas with one shoe they don ''t endup closing up the bars at 2am like I did so yeah I'm sorry the part about the truth and the false I was wondering if you could share some ideas on specifically what that means Do you want to take that one? For me, that's alluding to the mental part of it. That everybody around us see all the problems that alcohol is causing us, but we just don't see it. Because again, we're not thinking about the problems it causes us when we take the first drink. We're just thinking about these and comforts in the cup. We have all this stirred up mental and spiritual. We're stirred up on the inside, and we know alcohol can help us with that. So for me, alcohol isn't my problem. Alcohol is my solution to my problem, which is that inner being stirred up. or the way I think, the way I deal with life and the people around me, the way I handle my emotions. I'm just a ball of uncomfortability and they know that alcohol helps me with that and that's why I turn to it again and again. So I don't see the truth about all the problems it's causing me but everybody around me does. When you were drinking did anyone tell you you're starting to have problems you better slow down? Did you believe them when they said that? I remember a very specific example a girlfriend close to mine actually got sober so now having been in recovery for a while and I don't know if you've been through the steps or not but having been in recovery can you see where the statement that she made was correct yeah so now you can tell the truth from the false but when we're in the grips of alcoholism we can't tell the truth from the falls you know again when going through this material and hopefully each and every one of us during the next week we'll go back through this chapter and have a new experience for ourselves try to bring your own experience to the book you know when this book says something, try to go back in your experience with your drinking try to cite examples from your own case and bring that experience to the book so that you can have a new experience. So after alcoholics succumb to the desire again, and he's alluding to the obsession there which is the mental aspect of alcoholism as so many do and the phenomena of craving develops they pass through the well-known stages of esprit, emerging remorseful with a firm resolution not to drink again. so even though that's a very long sentence I ask myself did that happen to me and my answer is yes time and time and again the cycle of spring and remorse that paragraph contains all three parts of Valhalla it talks about the spiritual part where we're restless, irritable and discontented and irritable means easily annoyed and discondent means never satisfied before that it talked about differentiating the true from the false and then it talked about that after i've succumbed to desire again that's the mental obsession and then right after that it talks about that when i give in to the desire so now i started drinking again and now i've developed a phenomenon of craving uh that's one part of the physical feature is we set up a craving where we can't predict how much we're always going to drink and then at the top of the page it talks About the sense of ease and comfort that comes at once when taking a few drinks. Again, a different experience than a non-alcoholic. They might start, maybe right at the beginning they get that kind of still small buzz, but then they don't like what it does for them and that's why they want to stop. We get that in control. We love, we get that ease and comfort. We love what it does for us. It's relief. It's release from that inner turmoil. So in that paragraph it's all three parts of the problem. So this cycle is repeated over and over and how do you say it? I just keep saying over and over and on and on. And unless this person can experience an entire psychic change, there is very little hope of his recovery. He's talking about an entire, entire psychic chance. And when we recover, we're going to recover from the mind. Like the promises in the 10th step that Bill read, that is an example of an entire psychic change. On the other hand, and as strange as this may seem to those who do not understand once a psychic change has occurred the very same person who seemed doomed who had so many problems he despaired of ever solving them suddenly finds himself easily able to control his desire for alcohol the only effort necessary being that required to follow excuse me, a few simple rules and the few simple rule that this book is going to talk about is the 12 steps last paragraph of the page I do not hold with those who believe that alcoholism is entirely a problem of mental control. Again, he's smashing home that the physical aspect of our disease is a major part of our illness. I have had many men who had, for example, worked a period of months on some problem or business deal which was to be settled on a certain date favorably to them. They took a drink a day or so prior to the date and then the phenomena of craving at once became paramount to all other interests so that the important appointment was not met. These men were not drinking to escape. They were drinking to overcome a craving beyond their mental control. You know, draw from your own experience. Ask yourself if you've ever experienced that, whether it be in the realm of college or on the job. Let's say, for example, you had a really important project that your boss asked you to complete by a certain deadline and that certain deadline was tomorrow. Of course, we alcoholics always wait until the day before to get started And ask yourself, have you ever had instances where you were just going to take one or two drinks just to take the edge off? You know, just to give you enough gumption to get that whatever completed for your boss. And then of course you jumped over that line and then you drink for a gloobium and you get drunk and you go into a blackout and you wake up the next morning and the project wasn't finished. Oblivium? Oblivion. I'm tongue-tied tonight. Another way to notice it is that if you drink for a long time, in my case, I came to a point where drinking almost never gave me a buzz anymore. you know it is really going straight to the oblivion yeah uh yeah it gives you respite from from the problems from your pain but it doesn't it it doesn'T give you the kick at all so it's not a pleasant experience but the craving is still ever as strong and so even though you don't get that kick the craving is there and you keep on drinking and you've already made it you've already made a mental note that i remember when he used to do it for me so you're just going to drive around that yeah i know it's not going to do it for you and that's why on the bottom two pages before this on the bottom he says that men and drink you know alcoholics make essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol and that the sensation is elusive that Yeah, I like what it does for me, but it's not working anymore. Right. Okay, the second full paragraph on Roman numeral 18. The classification of alcoholics seems most difficult and in much detail is outside the scope of this book. There are, of course, the psychopaths who are emotionally unstable. We're all familiar with this type. They are always going on the wagon for keeps. They are over-remorseful and make many resolutions but never a decision. That's type one. Type two, there is a man who is unwilling to admit that he cannot take a drink. You know, again, start turning statements into questions for yourself. He plans various ways of drinking. He changes his brand or his environment. Did I do that? There is a type, this is type three. There is the type who always believes that after being entirely free from alcohol for a period of time, he can take a drink without danger. Type four, there's a manic depressive type who is perhaps the least understood by his friends and about whom a whole chapter could be written. And then type five, who I'm sure everyone in this room believed that they are. There are types entirely normal in every respect Except in the effect alcohol has upon them They are often able, intelligent, friendly people All these and many others have one symptom in common They cannot start drinking without developing the phenomena of craving This phenomena as we have suggested may be the manifestation Of an allergy which differentiates these people and sets them apart as a distinct entity. It has never been by any treatment with which we are familiar permanently eradicated, which means removed. The only relief we have to suggest is entire abstinence. That's all I want to cover with the doctor's opinion. Do you have anything to add? There's just one more thing that I wantto throw in because for me, for years I wondered when do you get into the steps when do this, when do that and I started drawing out from this book the different parts of the book that give us time frames of when to do things for instance it says in how it works if you only have then you're ready to take certain steps it's giving you a time frame but there's three references in the doctor's opinion that talk about time one of them is the bottom of XXIV which is the second page on the doctor'S opinion at the bottom it says that we work out a solution on the spiritual as well as altruistic plane altruism is giving to yourself and expecting nothing in return which is a spiritual principle So it's saying what our solution is. It's spiritual as well as altruistic. We favor hospitalization for the alcoholic who is still very generally befogged. More often than not, it is imperative that a man's brain be cleared before he is approached as he has a better chance of understanding and accepting what we have to offer. So the doctor is saying that we need to be detoxed off alcohol before we get into doing any kind of work. And for the average person, that's about two or three days. In extreme cases, it's like five or six days. But that's an extreme case of like a low-bottom person who's been sleeping under a bridge, does nothing but drink and hasn't drank, you know, just has done nothing but drank for a very long time. Then in the middle of the next page, it says many years ago one of the leading contributors to this book came under our care in this hospital and while here he acquired some ideas which he put into practical application at once. He didn't wait a year to get into the steps. As a matter of fact, what you'll see in Bill's story is that with three days still in the hospital, Bill did most of the steps. Dr. Bob, one day, started getting into making amends and filling in the gaps of all the work that he had done before that. Bill Dotson, number three, three days started getting him into the work. So these people put it into practical application at once. And then at the bottom of that page, it says, of course, an alcoholic ought to be freed from his physical craving for liquor, and this often requires a different hospital procedure before psychological measures can be a maximum benefit. And of course, a psychological measure must be put into, you must be doing it in order to have any kind of an effect. So again, it's saying that we need to be detoxed off alcohol before we get into the work, but we don't have to wait long after that. And those are kind of the first three references the book gives alluding to our time and when to get into doing work. So again. Another exercise you can do during the next week and use the set-aside prayer along with this. Before you sit down with this chapter, say the set aside prayer and add to it, please help me set aside everything I think I know and help me to have a new experience with my first step. Whether it be this is the first time that you're going through the steps or even if this isn't your first time that you've been through the first steps. when Bill and I go back through the steps we just don't start with inventory again we do a review of the first three steps and we have a current experience with where we're at with step one now today, where am I at with this allergy of the body today not some drummed up emotional memory from eight years ago that when I used to drink, when I use to drink when I is the drink know if I put out all my body what would happen to me today you know what would happened with the way with the allergy of the body today and if you do prayer meditation a do that with as a meditative exercise go through this book and take his many statement Go through this chapter and take as many statements as possible and turn them into questions to answer for yourself so you can have a new experience with your first step. And at this time, I'd like to open it up for discussion. And thanks for letting us share.