Practical Application of the Steps – BB Workshop – Part 1 of 14 – Bill L.

Hi everyone, my name is Mike and I am an alcoholic. Hey Mike, hey Mike. Welcome to those that showed up this evening. I guess just first off a little bit about Bill and I and why we're here. And I guess the first thing I want to say is that this is not a regular AA meeting. Anyone who has a desire to work the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, the 12 steps as outlined in the big book they're welcome to come we didn't really want to call it a workshop so we decided to call It a work group and you know because it is a work group and it's not a regular meeting theoretically we don't really have to abide by the traditions so once we get underway and we have our little group established and stuff there may be guidelines just for the group no hard and fast rules but as a collective group in a spiritual body we will have guidelines it's funny Bill and I went on a retreat about a month ago in Vermont coming out of that retreat I had such a strong experience I had made the comment that I wasn't working with as many people as I had been in the past. They just weren't coming for whatever reason, and I walked up to Bill right after the retreat, and I said, we've got to get something started, and what I'd like to do is get it started right in my local town. Of course, this is the second thing that I've done in the last two years in the first two and a half years right down the street from my house, and I don't think there's anyone from West Orange here, But, of course, that's okay. Oh, okay, great. Good. Then the flyer did it. Yeah. Rewind tape. But one of my, I guess, I don't want to use the word hopes, but I guess one of our motivations was to try to, Bill and I belong to a home group in Berkeley Heights, And I guess one of my desires is to try to get the message that that group carries more around this area. I've been living here for about three or four years now, and I haven't really even centered myself in meetings around here. You know, my whole group is still in Berkeley Heights. And so I guess, in a way, this is to kind of center myself here and also to help anyone who wants to go through the steps. And that's first and foremost. Do you want to say something? My name is Bill. I'm an alcoholic. Hey, Bill. Hi, Bill, Bill Bill. actually that wasn't funny when he came to me and said he wanted to start a group he said it was kind of funny I guess I am working with a lot of people right now but our home group has been doing big book studies for I guess nine years now and both or one of us has been involved with them for probably about five years. And we just kind of, not only do we do this in our own as well as other people's living rooms, but we just thought we'd create a little group to kind of in an informal way just have an opportunity to just hang out and let's go through the big book and perhaps we'll experience it together and we'll share insights. So, you know, like Mike said, this isn't a normal meeting with its, you know... I don't want to say rigidness because it's not rigid at all, but, you Know, it's just a little bit different. We don't necessarily want it to be the same as a regular meeting. But, you know, again, we've been studying this book for a while and we've learned certain things that we've put into practical application. Both of us, as well as I guess a whole bunch of us believe in going through the steps again and again and it's kind of settled down to probably about once a year at least. And last year we went through the steps just before we did a workshop in October, and now we're just kind of thinking it's time to go through the stops again. Not necessarily as the result of anything happening or our lives falling apart, but just seemed like this would be a good time to start up again. and instead of necessarily doing it one-on-one with somebody in their living room or whatever, we just thought we'd throw out a flyer and let's see who shows up. There's a few people that weren't able to make it the first week and a few People said they would, and there didn't seem to be enough interest, so we just figured let's go for it. So I guess we kind of talked about what we wanted to do, and we both kind of just said, I have no idea. And just thought that we would perhaps, you know, kind of go around the room and introduce ourselves and maybe just let each other know where we're at and maybe just informally or formally decide, you know, what do we want to do with the people that are here and maybe with people also coming. You know, what do We want to Do? How do We Want to Do This? We're pretty much up for anything. I'll say one thing. Go ahead. Bill said the statement I made at the retreat wasn't too funny and I didn't tell you the other half of the story. What is funny now that probably within a week or two coming out of that retreat, I was working with one guy and he's approaching inventory. And coming out from that retreat someone called me up from Connecticut. So I'm working with her. I'll be here in a fifth step on Saturday. And then someone from Bill and our friend Carrie did a big book weekend about a week and a half ago. And Kathy and I also attended that, and coming out of that I picked up a new protege out of Pennsylvania. So be careful what you wish for and be careful about starting anything on the fly. So I am working with a few people now. So now it's funny. And while you're trying to send yourself in the West Orange, all the new people you're working with are not only not in this town, they're not in this state I take after my wife in that respect my wife Kama Kathy that's a whole other story in itself Kama is in your name there? Dash and Kama so I guess what we want to do in the way of introductions and figuring out where we all are is to just go around the table, give our name hopefully you can remember all this Give our name, our home group if you choose to, your sobriety date if you want. But most importantly, have you ever been through all 12 steps, including making all your amends? If so, how many times have you been through the steps? And lastly, what do you expect to get from this work group? Do you have any expectations, any hopes? perhaps even you know something that excuse me thank you perhaps even you know I had a foot and it just kind of left me even kind of an expectation of you know what would be the most that you would wish for to get out of this or what do you feel is lacking in your application of the steps or what are you struggling with in trying to carry a message to a new person or, you know what, you don't know what I mean? I mean, we're not authorities or anything like that. Maybe we can address stuff like that as a group more than that we as individuals would be able to counsel somebody or something. But, you know, my hope is that we would work together and fill in whatever gaps we feel is lacking or is our current struggles. And that would make this ideal for me personally. Lately, what I'm finding out is a standard question to someone I talk to when I ask them, have you been through the steps? I'll say, did you make all your nine-step amends? Now, there are cases where you can't find the person or whatever. But I mean, have you made all your amends wherever possible? And usually, at least in this area, they'll say no, I'm stuck on eight. or I started to make a couple of amends and I pooped out or whatever, and I've kind of gotten the knack of asking them immediately after that, well, have you done any work with steps 10 and 11? And invariably, and I'll say the few times that I've asked this question, it's been a wipeout 100%. Invariably, they will have done no work with Steps 10 and11. And in the big book, it says that once you get into your amends, you immediately start on steps 10 and 11. And I found out that the reason that they either didn't make any amends or they pooped out in their amends is because they didn't take advantage of the power that can be given to us via the 10th and the 11th step. And that's also my experience when I stall out on amends. I also stall out in 10 and 12. So I guess I'll start. Like I said, I'm Mike and I'm an alcoholic. My home group is the Interaction Big Book Group in Berkeley Heights. My sobriety date is September 27, 1993. I've been through the steps several times. I think like Bill mentioned, just the path that we've chosen at Alcoholics Anonymous is to go through the Steps on an annually or semi-annual basis. To the best of my knowledge, I'm current with Amends. And I really have no expectations from this little work group other than I hope we can get a little body of us together and, of course, experience the miracles that can happen within taking the steps and, you know, also possibly maybe make a few more friends in the fellowship. That's a great account story. Thank you, Connor. You're welcome. My name is Bill. I'm an alcoholic and a drug addict. There you go. My home group is the Monday Night Interaction Big Book Group in Brook Heights. As everybody was talking, I was thinking, I remember the first time I went to that meeting. i i showed up at this big buck meeting i had been sober for three and a half years and after the meeting was over i walked up to the secretary and said uh this is my home group um it signed up and haven't stopped going in seven and a half years but um my sobriety date is june 3rd 1991 and what else was I talking about? I've been through the steps name, home, room, sobriety uh huh? always each day is new um I guess I've been through these steps I think about four times uh And for probably about seven years, well, for three and a half years I didn't go through the steps at all. Then I desperately threw myself into the steps because I was dying. And then I only did the steps that one time until probably about three years ago. and then I started going through the steps once a year. Each time I go through the steps, I try to use a different four-step format so I can get a different perspective at how my self-will screws things up, how my ego takes over again. The last time was back in October. I guess we just about finished up last October. Uh, I guess up until that point I made all the amends that I was aware of. I think I might have to make one or two more. One is with my soon-to-be ex-mother-in-law who lives way down by Cape May and uh, I think it's about a month ago So I called her and wished her happy birthday, but she was like sleeping and it just didn't seem... I feel uncomfortable about doing an event over the phone, so I want to run down there. But I've been kind of bringing it into meditation and seeing when is the right time. And I'm willing, but I want it to be done right. And it just hasn't come up as now. But as a matter of fact, in the next couple of months I'll be down there a couple of times. So I'm hoping to take advantage of that. But that's the only one that I'm aware of. I think I had said two, but I think that's the only ones that I am aware of off the top of my head right now. What else was I talking about? Do you have any expectations? I don't have any expectations. My expectation is to not have an expectation. There's a part of me that would love to do what I always do and there's a part of me that would love to do something completely different than I've never done so I don't really care I would love to my only hope and my only mantra whenever I do anything like this is to say to myself or to say to my higher power a hundred times that day may I be of service. That's just where I'm at. And whatever can be most effective for all of us, including myself, is what I want to do, whatever that ends up being. So, you know, as everyone was talking, I actually realized that I do have one amends to make that I forgot about or just put it in the back vault or whatever. So I guess I want to thank you all for costing me money and, you know, never fail us. I like the fact that we all seem to have some experience with doing this. It doesn't appear to me that anyone here is brandy, brand new and has never cracked a book yet. Of course, I wish some of those people were here too. My intuition says that next week we're probably going to get a couple more people. so Bill and I had discussed that and we didn't really want to get into anything too heavy tonight we will cover a couple things in the beginning of the book but we didn' t really want to get in to the meat of step one until next week as far as workshops are concerned there is a couple things we can do And, again, my hope that anything that we do in this work group is based on the collective consciousness of the group, not just something that Bill comes up with or something that I come up with. You know, kind of let God or the Spirit move through the group and direct us as to how we should go. but through listening to tapes and talking to other people that have done work groups or workshops like this sometimes they close it off at the fourth step and once a group gets to inventory they won't allow anyone new in other groups don't do that and work on the premise that even if someone walks in on the eighth step they're meant to be there and that's not going to hurt you know, that's not going to hurt them. So I really don't know how we're going to do it. I guess that's up to everyone. You know, for those of us who inevitably once you get to inventory, the group sort of splits in half. So that probably means that Bill and I could stay home then if the group doesn't get any bigger. But you know what? I like it like this. I feel an intimacy already, and I feel like we all have a common bond and we've barely known each other 45 minutes. I guess the only other thing in the way of Bill and I talking this evening was that we wanted to, unless anybody has anything else, any questions as far as the direction we're going in? we want to talk a little bit about the circle and triangle. If you flip over, Bill was nice enough to put together sort of a compressed packet compared to what he usually puts together. Yeah, and I'm happy there's people that haven't seen our product because for a lot of people some of these handouts they've seen before. I'd like to share what was that? also one other thing I wanted to bring up there are a few more flyers the half page flyers for this work group if you just pick up a couple on your way out and spread around to your local groups you can make copies if you want My email address is on there, so if you want me to email it to you, just send me an email or give me a phone call or what have you. Let's stay in touch through the weeks too. Should we exchange email addresses? Sure. I would love that. I'm definitely up for that. That was one of the things that I loved about – it was kind of Mike's idea. He kind of gave me partial credit, but it was his idea with calling it a work-study group or work group because this isn't necessarily a study and it isn't necessary a meeting. So, you know, work and group is kind of, I think, ideal in what we're kind of trying to shoot for. So I was really happy with that label or whatever you want to call it because Mike and I are very big fans of big book studies, simply because in knowing the information, it's really worthless unless you apply work and defying principles. And this isn't necessarily in our minds a study that would be so much more effective in participating and having an experience It's been a teaching and learning kind of thing. I'm going to let Bill take us through the circle and triangle, but before we do that, we didn't really say any sort of prayer to bring us into this thing. I'll probably have handouts of this next week, but what I'd like to do is just center us. And I use this prayer at the beginning of any time that I start back at step one. and it's not in the big book per se but directives toward it are in the big book in regards to having an open mind and casting aside old ideas around the fellowship or little pockets of enthusiasms that we've come into contact with and all the great speaker tapes that are out there nowadays people affectionately call it the set aside prayer so if we could I'd like to say that and then next week once I have the handouts for everyone we can all say it together I'll just say it now and if we good just go into that quiet place within kind of get centered see what happens Dear God, please set aside everything I think I know about myself, my disease, the big book, the twelve steps, the program, the fellowship, the people in the fellowship in all spiritual terms, especially you, God, so I may have an open mind and a new experience with all these things. Please help us see the truth. The Circle and Triangle for me is very important I guess for those of you that don't know like 7 or 8 years ago the Circle and triangle was taken off of our literature from the 50's until the early 90's the Circle and Triangles was on all of our literature and all of my books and this is what Bill Wilson said but this is a talk he gave at the 20th Anniversary Convention of AA in 1955, which is the second international convention that we had. He stood at a podium, and behind him was a curtain, and around the curtain was a circle and triangle, and this is what he said. He said, above us we see a banner, and that banner shows a circle, which is AA circumscribing the world. Within it is a triangle. the base of the triangle is the foundation of recovery on which we stand The left of the Triangle symbolizes our unity and the right of the trianlge our armor of service such as the symbol of AA I first saw it in Norway in 1950 but this symbol is not new with us We have attributed a particular significance to it but in actuality its significance is very old Students of ancient days tell that centuries ago it was regarded by priests and witch doctors alike as a symbol by which evil spirits could be kept away, and may that symbol ever stand guard over the Society of Alcoholics Anonymous. So you can see that Bill felt strongly about the Circle and Triangle, and for me there's a few things that are important about it. First of all, for the three and a half years that I was just in the fellowship of AA slowly getting more miserable, I really thought don't drink and go to meetings was AA's solution to alcoholism I saw there were steps, I really didn't think they applied to me I heard certain things at meetings it wasn't necessarily the norm and I also saw certain people that had that sort of comfortable look in their eye but I really couldn't relate to it and I didn't know how they could have gotten that way and they were probably just born that way anyway and all the other stuff just didn't apply to me. I never saw the reason to move in the direction of taking steps or trying to seek higher power or anything like that. And somebody sat me down and started by talking about the circle and triangle and pointed out to me that AA's solution to alcoholism has three parts, that the base of the triangle, which is recovery, which are the 12 steps, On the left side of the triangle, which is unity, which is the fellowship. And in the fellowship, there's 12 traditions. And on the right side of a triangle is service, which is the giving back not only in AA but also in all of our affairs. And coincidentally, that also has 12 principles associated with it called the 12 concepts. Also as an ancient symbol the circle and triangle is not new with us a long time ago on a circle and triangle represented body mind and soul together as one or wholeness and body mind and spirit are the full essence of being human and that our disease is threefold where it's physical, mental and spiritual. Our solution is physical, medical and spiritual and that not only was it important for me to realize that AA's solution to alcoholism had three parts but I also needed to ask myself am I involved in all three parts? It's kind of interesting because at that time my answer would have been well I'm only partially involved in service because every once in a while I'll make coffee or I'll put a chair away I'm definitely not working on any kind of a program, but I go to meetings regularly. So I was really only using less than half of the three parts. And in seeing that there are three parts and I need to be involved in all three parts, it was also described as sort of like a three-legged stool. If I have all three legs, that stool is solid and I probably wouldn't fall over. But as soon as I remove one of those legs or two of those eggs, that there's a really good chance that i'm going to fall over i'm gonna fall down also i personally uh since describing about the circle and triangle and talking with people who have relapsed i've met people that were only working one part of the triangle that went back out i know people that we're only using two parts of the trial angle they went back out but i have never once ever met somebody who was involved in all three parts of a triangle that way back out and that relapsed so for me that's really important because you know in talking to people who relapse you inevitably talk to him he knows in that way and they'll tell you where they fell short you know either they stopped on the meetings I've known people that were heavily involved in going to a lot of meetings and involved in service but was very much lacking in recovery they went back out and I know people who were heavily involved in you know service and heavily involved in, you know, work in a program but stop going to meetings and they, you know, I've known people that have done less than all three parts in all of its aspects or all of it's combinations that went back out but I've never known anybody that had all three. So for me first of all it was important to realize that I need to be, to realize that there are three parts to the solution but just as importantly is I need ask myself regularly which I'm going to identify now after I finish see and ask myself am I involved in all three parts and how I'm involved in all three parks today right now currently is that I go to probably three or four meetings a week Thursdays and I guess now Wednesdays I'm involved in a big book study group Thursdays there's four women that I've been taking through the big book and we just got up to the fourth step so that's been going on for probably about two months a couple weekends ago we did a study in Allentown, I write articles about recovery and about the 12 steps and about spirituality pretty much every day I talk to somebody in recovery in regard to service I guess that's a little bit of a service thing too but I'm on the Area 44 Convention Committee I'm on the Garden State Young People's Conference of AA, whose conference is in a few weeks, by the way. And in regard to the program again, last year we went through the steps again and finished up around October. I live in 10, 11, and 12. I guess you had mentioned about prayer and meditation. I guess about a half hour is what I do too. There's a couple things that I do. I don't necessarily do it the same way every time, but I do something for probably about 50 minutes or more every morning. I have a watch that beeps every hour and I try to kind of quiet myself for maybe a minute when the watch beeps every hour to just kind of acknowledge God and I try to do an evening review every night I have a really solid support group of people that not only love me but call me on my shit I'm not really a big fan of being surrounded by yes men I would rather somebody get in my face about something than to not want to open their mouth and don't get me wrong I don't like being berated but I encourage people to speak their mind it's kind of a mutual thing that I give people spiritual license if I see something I don' hesitate to speak my mind and I guess that's kind of where I am in a circle and triangle Bill knows a lot more about the history of AA than I do what I do know is that in what I call the pioneering days the members back then actually went through I won't say 12 steps because up until the book was written they were still using the six Oxford group tenants which had everything in it mostly everything in it that our 12 steps have today but they went through that recovery program of that time in many cases before they're even allowed to go to a meeting, to an AA meeting. A lot of hospital work was done at that time. So they were getting 12-stepped in the hospital and if we read some... The thing that I love about the story section and what I focus on is the early stories, the pioneer section. And inevitably, three days in the hospital, Bill D took his third step. But Bill Wilson, he did the equivalent of our first eight steps in Towns Hospital with Abby within a week. Dr. Bob was making amends and he had just come off a drunk like 24 hours previous. so my point is that in the early days when this book came out they brought them to recovery before they brought them to the fellowship so it stands true that recovery is the base of the triangle recovery is the foundation of our three part program but when I came in I kind of came in through the unity or the through the unity aspect of it in regards to meetings. And I guess I was a little more fortunate than Bill because Bill said he spent three and a half years in the fellowship before working the steps, and I was here only five and a halftime or five and half months before I knew that I was going to either die or drink or both. And I had to do something, and I was fortunate enough to hear at least a few people in the town that I got sober and they were talking about the steps. So I got busy somewhere around four and a half, five and a halve months, but still it was the fellowship that brought me to the program recovery and I had probably been doing some type of service before I even started working the steps where am I currently I guess I match up comparatively with Bill like he said we went through the steps again last summer I wrote an inventory I would say between by the way when we go back through the stairs as we're going to find out through this work group you'll hear a lot of people say well I started back at inventory I started at the fourth step I don't do that, I start at the beginning I start at the first step and I get current with my first step and I go on through and I do a review of the first three steps and then I get into inventory so we wrote inventory and we're going to find out in the fifth step that the book suggests that we share our fifth step with a person or persons. So I like to do what's called multiple fifth steps today where I'll read my inventory to anywhere from three to five individuals. And I believe I did four fourth steps off that inventory from the summer. For the first time, I did a fifth step with a member of the clergy and that was a new experience for me a really, really powerful experience matter of fact Bill talked about a weekend that we did last October and typically we start on a Friday evening whenever we do any type of big book weekend and that Friday morning I had done a fifth stop with a priest called Father Leo And you want to talk about getting pumped up for a weekend. And I did a couple other fifth steps besides that, and six and seven, eight-step list. Didn't really have many amends off of that inventory. But, of course, now that you guys are costing me money, I can't say that I'm current on all my amends. So I'm going to take care of that one. But currently, I'm having a really new, awesome, powerful, broadening and deep experience with Steps 10 and 11. I guess up until I'm taking a guess here up until probably about 4 years ago I hadn't really done much work with the 10th and 11th step I mean I probably took them off the wall and I did the best I could with what I had and I prayed and I read from conference approved literature every morning I didn't know anything in the way of meditation. I just didn't know. Unfortunately, we really don't hear a lot of meditation mentioned in meetings that we go to. But I guess it was about three or four years ago that I really began to try to practice meditation. It was probably only about two and a half, maybe three years tops now that I've had a daily meditation practice. And what I mean is that upon awakening in the morning I say a couple of prayers. I come downstairs, I sit in the living room, sit in my easy chair and I have a couple pieces of literature that I read. Bill and I are basically We were mad dogs when it came to drinking, so we're mad dogs for spirituality now. We're into all kinds of stuff, Christianity, Buddhism, Taoist stuff, just all different kinds of things. But this year I felt it necessary to focus on one thing, and particularly for me, I found it necessary that the focus on, let's say, one spiritual teacher And this one spiritual teacher has a lot of books and a lot of tapes. So I'm focused with this one particular guru, if you will. So I use his writings. Who is that? I can share that afterwards if you want. He's kind of a... Anyway. Very heavy. so when I'm all done with my readings I set a timer currently I meditate twice a day for 25 minutes a day and you know again it wasn't even until a few months ago that I even knew how to breathe properly and I'm currently working with watching the gap in between each breath and I've been doing a lot of work with what I call the tools of the 10th step. Stuff like watch, pause. Just to be able to watch your thought life is an incredible thing. I've been playing around with this analogy lately where I ask people and maybe you can kind of answer this question in your mind if you want. I'll ask somebody, if you're sitting in a movie theater and on the screen appears this guy and he appears to be looking at you and he says, you're a jackass. Would you argue with that guy? Would you get into an argument with that guys? Would you fight that guy?" And typically the response that I get back is, no, of course not. That's ludicrous. That's ridiculous. It's a waste of time an effort and it's not even based on reality. And my response to that is, you're absolutely right. Now think about what you do with your thought life. When a thought before having had a spiritual awakening when a thought would come into my mind I would think that I was that thought and I would get involved in that thought and I would live that thought and you know if daria was to say mike you're a jerk i would tend to believe that and i would become attached to that thought or i guess a better way to describe it would be if a thought comes into my head oh mike you are a big fat slob you can't lose weight you know and you're bouncing up and down and blah, blah, bla. What I do now today is I watch that thought. I stay in this present moment and I just watch that thought and I don't judge it. That's the most important thing I can say about that is I don' t judge my thought life and I j ust kind of watch it go by and I say to myself hmm, that's interesting and I turn my thoughts over to someone that I can be helpful towards. and quite often for me today this thing that we call a mind this mechanism that's in our head is just like a giant movie screen to me I fall short, of course I do but we have tools to clean that stuff up so if there's one tool that I'm really big on now and that I am really working with I would say it's watch which is actually from our 10th step because it says continue to watch for resentment and selfishness and dishonesty and fear. I go to anywhere from two to four meetings a week. You know, like Bill, I'm constantly on the phone with people or sending emails. Unfortunately, very fortunate that my wife Kathy is also in the fellowship and works the program. so we're constantly bouncing things off of each other I would say the bulk of the service work I do is working with other alcoholics and doing stuff like this there were a few years during my sobriety where I was on the committees within the district and within the area and stuff like that I guess it's been a couple years now I've just really got guided to go back to the basics God made real clear to me about two years ago Mike, where you need to be is on your couch working one-on-one with another drunk and that's pretty much where I stay I guess that's where I'm at as far as the circle of travel is concerned. What do you mean by, since you guys are costing me money? I don't understand what that means. I doubt very much that if it wasn't for this meeting tonight, I probably wouldn't have thought of that event. Oh, I see what you mean. I didn't realize that was what we meant. That's not original. We steal everything. I didn' t realize what you meant. I got that. I'm sure what you were talking about. one last thing which is also just really preliminary is the last I think it's the last page in the handout. It talks about the table of contents, and the book mentions a few times that this is our basic text. As a matter of fact, it says it on the cover of the paper cover that goes across the hardcover, even though it doesn't say it anywhere else that this was the basic text of Alcoholics Anonymous. And since it's a text, in keeping with other texts, it's not like a novel. It's not an informational kind of a book. A text assumes that the reader knows nothing about the subject and starts with certain basic information and then builds upon that. So like a math textbook will begin with addition and subtraction and then go into multiplication and division and then maybe by their fifth chapter, it starts getting into algebra and stuff like that. That's why I remember when I first came in, on more than one occasion people had said to me, you know, if you want to know how it works read chapter 5 because that's called How It Works and chapter 5 begins with the third step and there's 60 something pages before that that get us to reach the conclusions of the first two steps and explain to us what's powerlessness, what's unmanageability why is it saying that we're insane which I never really understood until I started studying it and so you know I never knew why I had to seek God and I wasn't insane so in reading chapter 5 it was like not knowing anything about math and trying to figure out algebra so in seeing that it's our basic text and how a text is set up where it builds upon itself the book is written in a very specific way. As a matter of fact, for me, it's the ultimate 12-step technique. And it starts by telling us the problem, which is in the doctor's opinion. It also touches upon the problem in other chapters, but the doctor'S opinion is probably the best place in describing what the problem is. Then Bill's story is an example of the problem. There is a solution that gives us a little bit of history and starts getting into what the solution is, which is higher power. Then in more about alcoholism, it gives us the futility of trying to deal with alcoholism without the solution. And then we agnostics, it gives uns a solution that we can live with. It gives us some basic principles about seeking this higher power and how we can have our own concept of a higher power of our own understanding and gives us som e basic principles. and then in how it works and the subsequent chapters before the stories how to have that higher power working in our lives and through us. I've actually had debates with my old sponsor about he believes that the solution to alcoholism is God and I usually argue with him about that because I believe there is a God and there's lots of people that don't have any kind of a solution to alcoholismo that I believe that the solutions to alcoholisme is god working in and through you uh and there's a big difference between the two in my mind but uh you know those chapters are how to get that power to be working you know in through us to remove the blocks to what prevents that power from from bringing you out of solution to our alcoholism because if we continue to run the show and if we can continue to harm and resent and be filled with fear kind of when you were talking about that you know if resentment's telling me what to do then and God can't be, and if fear's telling me what to do, then my inner voice, knowing that this is the wrong thing to do isn't going to stop me from doing it because fear's going to tell me what to do. So again, the book is set up in a very specific way where it starts with the problem, and it's interesting because after Bill got sober from December 11th, 1934, he didn't meet Dr. Bob until Mother's Day, 1935, so that was about six months later. For those six months, he worked with lots of drunks and he went to the hospital constantly, he tried working with people and he wasn't getting anybody else sober but he was keeping himself sober and one day Dr. Silkworth who wrote the doctor's opinion kind of stopped him in the hall and Bill was like I don't understand it I can't seem to be able to help anybody and Dr. silkworth said Bill you're trying to shove this religious experience or spiritual experience down people's throats why don't you start by telling them what your drinking was like and why don t you talk to them about alcoholism first and let them see that you were where they are and that you're no longer there. Then they'll be interested in seeking the spiritual solution after they realize that you know what you're talking about and you can relate to where they aren't. And that coincidentally, the very next person that Bill worked with was Dr. Bob and using that technique worked and that's why the book is set up the way it is. You start with the problem and then it eases us into a solution and then the practical program of recovery to bring about that solution working in our life. so I like talking about the table of contents too because again, it's the ultimate 12 steps as far as I'm concerned in how it's set up and how it goes along another thing that's cool about how the book is written is that Bill says the same stuff over and over again but he uses different words and that's a classic technique because being a thick-skulled alcoholic sometimes a certain description of something I don't get it but then I hear it a different way and then I get it or I didn't get the second time and I hear the third diamond and I finally get it you know I mean it finally sinks in so you know in the technique that bill used was just kind of say the same things would use different words and you kind of finally get the picture. So the book is set up in a very specific way, and it's a very effective tool. I guess the last thing I want to say and then we'll wrap it up. The format that we want to stick to typically is Bill and I talk probably for the first hour and then open it up to you guys for the last half hour. But since we kind of had some dialogue back and forth almost at the end of the 90 minutes when Bill and I do I guess this became real strong to us about a year ago that a good way to go through a weekend we're not going to do it this way now but when we go through a weekend now we like to start with the 12 step because it's kind of a way to 12-step the group that's present, if you will. And we like to start with Chapter 7, Working With Others, because there's specific and clear-cut directions in there on how to make a 12-stepped call. That, again, it's just one of those things that we're not hearing a lot about in meetings these days. these days. One of the ways that I 12-step, a couple years ago, I started getting a lot of people coming to me and asking me to go through the work with them, to go through the big book. By the way, if there's any lingo that Bill and I use that you're not familiar with, just ask us. When I say go through to work, I mean start at the beginning of the big book and go all the way through the first 164 that's what I mean by going through the work there's some people that say well, the real work of Alcoholics Anonymous isn't until the 12th step and that's fine too it's just a lingo that I like to use but a couple years ago I started getting a lot of people come to me and say yeah, I want to go through the steps will you take me through and of course I said yeah we got started and some of them pooped out in the beginning or I wouldn't hear from them anymore once they got into inventory. Or for those that got through inventory in fifth steps, I wouldn'T see them anymore once they get into ninth step. So I have a friend of mine who actually has been probably one of the biggest influences on me in Alcoholics Anonymous. He lives in Texas and I called him a couple years ago And I explained this to him, and he gave me a little technique that he uses, and I've been doing it ever since. When someone comes to me and asks me to be their sponsor or to take them through to work, I don't agree to that right away. I do agree to sit down with them and spend some time to them, spend sometime with them. And what I do over about a 20- or 30-minute time period is I do exactly what Chapter 7 tells us to do. I talk about my drinking to get them to talk about some of their drinking. I dwell on the hopeless feature of alcoholism. And then I outline the program of action, and I tell them what I did with the 12 steps. But more specifically, I give them a little outline or a little synopsis of each step. And I start with the first step, and I go all the way through. And I don't soft-sell the fourth step. I let them know that we're going to do three specific inventories on resentments, fears, and harms with emphasis on my sexual conduct. I let him know that We're Going to Write a Sex Ideal, and I don't soft-sell that fourth step. And when it comes to the ninth step, I let Him know that you will pay the money back, and you'll make all the amends of all the people that you can find. and if you have amends that need to be made to people who are deceased we can make amends to those people also to their spirits and I go all the way through and I don't soft sell any of it because I sit them down I have them go back home actually because typically after that they're like yeah this is what I want this is the work I want to do let's start now And I'll go anywhere from 24 to 72 hours, and I'll let them just think about it. One of the things we'll be talking about over the weeks is the path of consideration. And I will let them consider whether that this is really the work that they want to do. And I have them go home and open up to page 59 where the 12 steps are and have them read each step. and for each step I specifically ask them two questions so that they can ask themselves first question is is this the work that I want to do with each step and the second question is are you going are you willing to go to any lengths to do this and they already know what any lengths is because I just got done telling it's the 12 steps it's not standing on your head in a corner somewhere it's not prancing in the middle of traffic and your boxers shorts it's it's nothing like that no we can do that after the meeting if you want i mean you're not going to shave our head or make us birthday that's the jaywalker jay walker what are you talking about we're not supposed to do that behavior anymore you know and and depending on how bad they are if they just can't string any days together at all, I'll have them get back to me the next day. But if they've been around for a while, I'll say, you know, sit with that for 72 hours and then I'll let them get it done. And then we can start from there. And I hate to use this expression, but that tends to weed out the dead weight. And I don't mean that in a negative way. But if I'm wasting my time and their time with someone who really isn't interested in going all the way through, then I'm not only wasting their time and my time but I could be depriving another drunk that really wants to get well so that's been working for me so over the next week I'd like you to kind of sit with those two questions open up to page 59 read each step and as you read each steps ask yourself is this the work that I want to do and am I willing to go to any lengths to do it Another reason why we like starting with working with others is because not only do we want to learn how to work the steps ourselves, but we also like passing along to other people, how do I take somebody else through the steps? So we like Starting There because it talks about kind of making the approach. And then when we go back to the beginning of the book as we go through word by word through the chapters if that's the way we end up doing it, we'll also point And in those chapters where it talks about how to 12-step somebody. So it's sort of a two-angled kind of thing of, yeah, how do I work the steps, but also how do i help somebody else work the step? So that was kind of where some of that was coming from as well. Something that just came to me about 10 minutes ago is that when we close every week, I think whoever wants to, we can, I mean, AA meetings we typically close with the Lord's Prayer. and if everyone agrees that, you know, one person can volunteer or whatever and close with whatever prayer that you want to close with. And let's just keep it loose like that and we'll see what happens. We'll see you all next week. Anybody want to say their prayer for this week? I have to get written down. I will know you if I keep close to you, and so will you as well. Help me to be honest with myself in my faith, my God, and let me know what happens to you so that I can keep answering these questions because you've given me the strength to respond to it if I want. And Father, help me to increase your grace because you have already given to me and yet what I want is not to happen. Amen. Amen.