Step 5 and Admitting Defects – Book Study – Big Book Study – Part 3 of 4 – Local AA Speakers

Sex is a lot of fun, isn't it? Bobby's in the process of changing a tape. Got her all done? Okay. We have completed our inventory. And the next question is, now that we've got it done, what are we going to do with it? So we start looking at the next chapter, chapter 6, into action. Having made our personal inventory, what shall we do about it? We've been trying to get a new attitude, a new relationship with our Creator, and to discover the obstacles in our path. We have admitted certain defects. We have ascertained in a rough way what the trouble is. we've put our finger on the weak items in our personal inventory. Now these are about to be cast out. This requires action on our part, which when completed will mean that we have admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our defects. Now here we've got to stop again and look at words. Step five says we admitted to god, to ourselves and to other human beings the exact nature of our wrongs yet you'll notice in the narrative here in the book he said which will mean that we've admitted to God to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of their defects. He used wrongs in the step, he used defects in the narrative in the Book. Now we're going to find him doing this over and over and over and again people used to ask Bill about that they'd say why do you use wrongs here and defects there why do you use wrongs in step five defects in step six and shortcomings in step seven and again bill would rear back and grin and say well when i took those english and writing courses in college they taught me never to use the same words over and over because that shows how dumb you really are he said there are no differences in these things he said we look at these things in step four and we find out the exact nature of the wrong the things in our personality that need to be changed he said then we're going to talk about another human being in five and we're gonna become willing to get rid of them in six and we'll ask god to take them away in seven and he said it really doesn't make any difference what you call them, whether you call him a mistake, a fault, a defect, a wrong, a shortcoming. He said those are the things that block us off from God's will, and those arethe things that we'll work to get rid of. And I think we're going to be able to see as we progress through here how he uses these words interchangeably back and forth. He may say one word in a step but an entirely different word which means the same thing in the narrative in the book. He said, This is perhaps difficult, especially discussing our defects with another person. We think we've done well enough in admitting these things to ourselves. There is doubt about that. In actual practice, we usually find a solitary self-appraisal insufficient. Many of us thought it necessary to go much further. We will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves with another person when we see good reasons why we should do so. The best reason first, if we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking. Well, that's a pretty good reason. But now he describes why that's true. Joe? Okay. Time after time, newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives trying to avoid this humbling experience we have tried easier methods almost invariably we got drunk having preserved with the rest of our program they wondered why they fell we think the reason is that we have never completed their house cleaning they took inventory all right but hung on some of the worst items in stock they only thought they had lost their egotism and fear they only felt they had humbled themselves But they had not learned humility, fairness, and honesty in the sense we have found it necessary until they told someone else all their life story. Now here we see the reference, all their Life Story. And I think this is where we got the idea that we were supposed to write all our life story in step four. yeah i i realize you know i don't see why we got because i don' t see why something in five should have had anything to do with four it says in five we tell someone all our life story that doesn't mean that we that's not the way we do the inventory also we have shared all our lives story with the things that really have anything to do with our drinking if we've taken the inventory the way the book says Because when I looked at my resentments, they're what's in my head today. But they didn't come just today. You know, they've been being placed in my Head throughout my entire lifetime. Some of them stem back to my childhood. And if I've shared all my resentiments, I've shared all of my life story resentment-wise. The fears in my Heads today, they didn' t come in there just today, they've be placed in My Head throughout My entire lifetime, some of them go clear back to my childhood. I've shared all my life story fear-wise, the harms I do to other people. I didn't do them all just today. I'd been hurting people all my Life. My mother said, Charlie, you were the damnedest kid I ever saw. She said, I had a hell of a time loving you myself. She said you've always hurt people forever. So I've Shared all my Live Story with the People i'm harmed and those are the three major things that caused me to drink are resentment fear and harms done to other people so i've shared all my life story the areas that really counted my alcoholism if i've done step four as the big book says to do it he said more than most people the alcoholic leads a double life he is very much the actor to the outer world he presents his stage character this is the one he likes his fellas to see he wants to enjoy a certain reputation but knows in it hard he doesn't deserve it the inconsistency is made worse by the things he does on his sprees coming to his senses is revolted at certain episodes he vaguely remembers these memories are a nightmare he trembles to think someone might have observed him as fast as he can he pushes his memories far inside himself he hopes they will never see the lie today is under constant fear and tension, and that makes for more drinking. You know, we are the world's greatest actors. We are people that can get up in the morning and be so sick we're almost dead. We can hardly shave, can't eat your breakfast, just barely get a cup of coffee down. We go to work and we walk in and the boss says, good morning, how are you this morning? Oh, we're just great. Oh, we're fine. Hell, we'RE SICKER THAN THEM PEOPLE IN THE HOSPITAL. We have become the world's greatest con artist. You know, we have to con other people. That's right. And we were able to see through the inventory process how we con ourselves. That's correct. We were ableto see how we could take a resentment and play it over and over and transfer all blame from ourself to other people." If you're a practicing alcoholic, you've got to learn how to do these things. If you can't do that and can't con yourself, you can' t live. You can't be a practicing alcoholic without the ability to con other people. Now all of a sudden what makes us think we're going to be one hundred percent honest when we take step four? No way! I've lied to myself all my life. I still tend to lie to myself today. of the major reasons i need step five with another human being is so they can help me be honest with me i take my step forward to another human Being and he looks at it from an outside objective view he's not involved and he can see the truth in that where i can't and in many of those cases where i put down this was caused by the sex instinct he said oh no no you did he said this this was caused by the self-esteem. You're trying to build your ego. And in one of them, I said, this was cause by fear. And he said, hell no, this is plain damn dishonesty. That's all this is. And he helped me see those things within me that need to be changed that I myself can't see. I was tickled to death to hear Travers last night say that they believed in England that if your original sponsor dies, you should immediately get another sponsor and take another step five. I need another human being that knows everything there is to know about me. Because when I've got a decision to make today, I like to go to that human being and say, look at this thing with me. See if I'm telling me the truth or see if I're lying to me again. And I find that the majority of the time I'm conning myself all over again. And that's after 18 years of sobriety working this program. We are the world's greatest con artists. and we con ourselves more than we con anybody else. Psychologists are inclined to agree with us. We spend thousands of dollars for examinations. We know but few instances where we've given these doctors a fair break. We have seldom told them the whole truth, nor have we followed their advice. It doesn't make any sense, but we'll go to a psychiatrist, lay down on his couch, pay him $100 an hour, and lie to him all the time we're laying there. Pay $75 or $100 an hour for the privilege of lying to him. That's the kind of people we are. The book says we must be entirely honest with somebody if we expect to live longer happily in this world. I know that confession is good for the soul, certainly. Sharing these things that we feel are so bad with another human being is a cleansing process. But that's not the only reason for step five. Step five is to improve on step four. To help me learn all I can learn about me. Joe? As Charlie said, we get to the exact nature of the problem in step five. And again, it is to improve on the inventory. Because we can't see the truth. Because life today, and my life today is just the truth as I see it. And the truth is I see is never the truth only God knows the truth and I just have to live off of my perception of the truth. So he says on page 74, we talk about how do we find a person? Who do we do this with? And this page kind of gives us some ideas and hints about how to select someone to go over our inventory. Now this was written, I remember when this waswritten, This was written brand new when the book first came out, and the people here in Albany or in Georgia, they couldn't say, go to your sponsor. When the first book come out in 1939, there wasn't any sponsors. It was just getting started. So the book was complete. It showed people how to find someone to do this with. But now today we have a lot of sponsors, And we hope that, you know, like those of you here now in the big, gone through the inventory, you can help someone else do their inventory like the big book because now you understand it. Mrs. Riley and Natchez, we think well before we choose a person with whom to take this intimate and confidential step. Those, and then he tells us, those of us belonging to religious domination which requires confession must, of course, want to go to the properly appointed authority whose duty it is to receive it. And that's probably still valid today. There are some people that I'm sure would want to do that. Perfectly okay. Though we have no religious connection with, we still do well to talk more to someone in our day and establish religion. Okay, that's a suggestion. We often find such a person quick and understand our problems. Of course, we sometimes encounter people who do not understand alcoholics. Now, in the early days, they had to do this as if we cannot rather do this would search out acquaintance or close-mouthed, understanding friend. That was pretty tough on those people. Can you imagine taking a step forward with a friend or somebody at work? Well, they had to find somebody to do it with. He said, perhaps it will be a doctor or a psychologist will be the person. Now he's running out of good suggestions. He's getting really running out. Now he said, it may be one of your own families. See, they had it hard finding somebody, But we don't have that problem anymore because we're blessed with people now at this time in AA that we couldn't go too far with this. Now, over on the top of page 75, he tells us how to go about this. He said, when we have decided who is to hear our story, we'll waste no time. We have a written inventory. We have all these things filled out. We are prepared for a long talk. will explain to our partner what we are about to do and why we have to do it. If we should realize that we are engaged in our life and death errand, most people approaching this way will be glad they will be honored by our confidence. We pocket our pride and go to it illuminating every twist of character, every dark cranny of the past. Now here's the results of step five. It says once we have taken this step with holding nothing, we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us, and we begin to feel the nearness of our Creator. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience. The feeling that the drink probably has disappeared will often come strong and it will fill me on a broad highway walking hand-in-hand with the Spirit of the Universe. Now we can see now that the results of Step 5 are the greatest results of any of the steps that we have taken. We didn't get anything out of one and two. Step three was the beginning. We got some tolerance and patience and goodwill toward all men from step four. Now we look at the changes taking place in step five. The personality change is more intense after this great action step because we're putting more into step five than we do even three or four. We went beyond ourselves and went out and talked to another person. And it says we had certain beliefs. Remember, we came to believe in step two. But now we begin to have the spiritual experience. According to the book, the spiritual experiment begins after step five. Not after step three, but after step four. The spiritual experiment starts. begins. Now, after we take these steps, you know, he says we have a little—I love the way Bill—we have a lot of rest spots stopped. You know, after one, two, three, four, and five, you need a little rest. He says, returning home, we find a place where we can be quiet for an hour. Now he didn't say 38 days. One hour. Okay. Care of reviewing what we have done. We thank God from the bottom with my heart that we know him better. We don't know God, but we know Him better now that we have come this far. Taking this book down from our shelves, we turned the page which contains the twelve steps. Carefully reading the first five poses, we asked if we had many of these things, for we are building an arch to which we shall walk a free man at last. Is our work solid so far? Are the stones properly in place? Have we skimped on the cement putting the foundation and we try to make mortar without sand and again we see him referring to his same little reference of this spiritual structure that we're going to build the arch remember when he said uh painting a picture in our minds he said willingness was the foundation of this arch and that was step one willing to change he says step two was a cornerstone, believing, came to believe, believe we can change. And then he said step three was the keystone of a new and triumphal march, decision to change, willingness to change. Believe you can change, decision to changed. And then now we have put in the action steps. The action steps are four or five. And we look at the action step. The actions to carry out the decision based on the belief, based on the willness, the foundation of willness. And now we review this and we see if all these stones are properly in place. And we can answer yes to our satisfaction, then we can look at step six. And we Can See Again And we see again that this wonderfully effective spiritual structure was its personality change sufficient to recover from the disease of alcoholism. So we're not looking at anything negative. We're looking at positive things. And as these things begin to disappear from us, and the other things begin to take their place, we're already in the midst of the personality change. We're building the structure as we go along. Let's look at 6 and 7 real fast, and then we'll take a break. He says if we can answer our satisfaction, we then look at step 6. We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable. Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable? Can he now take them all, every one? If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us be willing. Now that's all the information in the big book on step six. And you'll notice he didn't say anything at all about defects of character. Now the step says we're entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. But here he said, are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable? These are the things we found in 4. In step 4, we filled out that fourth column. What's the exact nature of that wrong, fault, mistake, defect, shortcoming? The wrong was the resentment. That's what blocked me off from God's will. We found that the resentment was incorrect judgment of other people. That's a wrong. But what's the nature of that resentment? We looked into the inherent characteristic of it, the old personality, selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened, inconsiderate. Those are the things that caused me to do the things that caused me to hurt people and cause them to retaliate and cause me to resent them. The fears. Fear is incorrect believing. And as I carefully reviewed those fears and got to the fourth column, what's the exact nature of the fear? And I find the same things there. Selfishness, dishonesty, self-seeking and frightened and inconsideration keeps throwing me in the position where I have to experience that fear. I reviewed my sexual conduct of the past. Now, the harm is the thing I did to hurt another human being. But what's the nature of the harm? It doesn't make any difference how many times I committed adultery. The important thing is what causes me to do that. And in the fourth column, the nature OF THAT HARM is the same thing. Selfishness causes that. Dishonesty. Self-seeking and frightened and inconsideration of another person. Those are the parts of the old personality that creates those problems for me in the first place. Now, by now, they should have become objectionable to me. If I can see that they are the things that's creating the trouble, then most certainly I'll become willing to get rid of them. But the book also recognizes that self cannot overcome self. That some of those character defects, let's face it, some of them are fun. and you don't really want to get rid of them unless you can really, really realize that by God they're killing me and I've got to get read of them. That's why I quit drinking. I didn't quit drinking because I wanted to. I quit drink because I absolutely had to and I quit those other things because I have absolutely have to and if I'm not willing to get red of them at this point then I can ask God to help me be willing to be willing. It recognizes self cannot overcome self Only with God's help can we really become willing to get rid of character defects. You know, if you've lived on those character defects all your life, then all of a sudden we're faced with the idea we're going to have to change, and that brings fear. My God, if I've been dishonest all my... How the hell am I going to make a living honest? If I've operated on fear all my life, how in the world can I operate on courage? If I'm operating on selfishness all my wife, i don't know what being unselfish would bring and sometimes fear keeps me from wanting to do step six but the book says if we're not willing we ask god to help us be willing now over a period of time we become willing to have these character defects removed these shortcomings these things that we have admitted are objectionable to us then it says when ready we say something like this my creator i am now willing that you should have all of me good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength as I go out from here to do your bidding. Amen. We then completed step seven. Now, step seven said humbly ask him to remove our shortcomings. In the narrative he said, I praythat you now remove fromme every single defects of character. Here he refers to defects of character in step seven. In the step itself, he referred to them in step six. He doesn't even mention shortcomings in the big book anywhere except in step 7. I got so intrigued by this that one day I went to the 12 and 12 to see what he did with shortcomings. I read the entire chapter in the 12th and 12th on step 7, and he doesn't ever mention shortcomings until the last paragraph. He talks about defects of character all the way through Step 7 in the 12 and 12. So it's evident that Bill, in his mind, these things were all interchangeable things. And it didn't make any difference whether he called them a defect, a shortcoming, a mistake, a fault, a wrong. They are the things we find in 4. We discuss with God another human being in 5. We become willing to get rid of them in 6. And we ask God to take them away in 7. We have then completed steps six and seven. That's all there is to it. Very, very simple. But many of us make a mistake. Many of us tend to feel that at the end of steps six and seven we say, okay God, here it is. Give me the $29.95 special and make me as pure as the driven snow. And we stand back and wait for it to happen. And under those circumstances it's probably never going to happen i don't think god will do for us what we can do for ourselves he'll do for us what we cannot do but i don' t think he'll do what we can do for ourselves i don''t believe that god can reach in my mind and pluck out a shortcoming and leave a vacuum in there that breaks one of the laws of nature if i want god to take that character defect of selfishness away, then chances are I'm going to have to start trying to practice with all the strength I can muster and all the power I can get from God unselfishness. And as I practice unselflishness, and as God takes away selfishness, then slowly, slowly my mind begins to change. You see, my head and my mind is nothing more than a set of mental habits. They've been ingrained in my mind throughout my entire lifetime. And if I want to change a habit, I have got to start doing something different. If I want God to take away dishonesty and I ask him to remove it, then chances are I'm going to have to muster all the power I can and start trying to be honest. And gradually, as God removes dishonesty and I practice honesty, the old habit changes to something new. And I start living with honesty rather than dishonesty. If I want him to take away fear, then I'm probably going to have to practice courage. I'm Probably going to Have to kick myself in the rump and say, Okay, let's get up and get this done, regardless of what the outcome is going to be. If I want him to take away inconsideration, then I'm probably going to have to start trying to consider what other people want and need. And this is very difficult for me to do. Bill said simple but not easy. A price has to be paid. It means the destruction of self-centeredness. Self says, be selfish, be dishonest, run on fear, be inconsiderate. But as God takes away, and I force myself with God's help to practice the opposite, slowly old habits die and new habits take their place. I believe today I realize what it says and how it works when it said some of us tried to hold on to our old ideas, and the result was nil. If I'm willing to turn loose, ask God to take away, and I start practicing the opposite, then slowly, slowly, my mental habits change. I find that they change at the exact speed that I'm willing to work at them. If one of them changes in a hurry, then I've got to work on it pretty hard. If I don't want them to change too fast, then I can still play around with what I used to be sometimes, and it'll take a long time for the change to take place. But it will take place, and we become different people. you know i just get overwhelmed with these the process of these steps particularly step six and seven i think you know although the book don't talk a lot about it maybe that's why we get so mixed up on six and seventh around the program i know for many years i hear a lot of confusion and i think that you know that our book says quite obviously for some reason another week as charlie said we get to step six and seven we said just fix me god i'm ready just fix me but i think these books are books that these are steps that we have taken god don't take these steps he don't need them he's doing all right these are our steps the steps six and Seven is, I feel that all the other steps, one, two, and three, four, and five, where if they are done, they give us the tools to change. Six and seven are the tools for change. And I think we are the most blessed people on the face of this earth. We have the opportunity to change and fashion our own lives. we're not trapped anymore i see other people that they don't have these twos whatever they are they're going to always be there don't happen opportunity but we have the tools to change and step all the other steps give us these two twos and step sixes and seven are real simple but they're very difficult tools to use and it's very hard it's hard and as charlie said our minds are a set of mental habits that we have fed with action When my mind reduces a thought, I have to buy into it and feed it with action. And the more I feed these ideas, they become a part of my mental habits. So how are we going to get rid of them? We're going to rid of it in the same way we got them. How did we get so sick? We worked at it. We wasn't born sick. We worked to get there. We worked this over and over, feeding those old things, and they became ingrained in our minds. And now we've got tools to change. And I always look at these tools, I look at six and seven like a pick and a shovel. And they are very difficult to use. If you ever use a pick or a shovel, they're hard to use." And I went to the hardware store and I bought a lot of tools. And most of the time you buy a little tool, they'll have some instructions on them, how to use them. But I've never bought a pick and a shell with instructions on it. I mean, so the book don't tell us how to, you know, a lot instructions on it, but they're very difficult to use. And step six is real simple. Now, if you want to change, you've got to work against yourself. See, you can't do what you want to do and change, because if you do whatyou want todo, you'll always be that. So step sixis real simple. Step six is don't dowhatyouwantto do, and that's hard to do. That's really all right don't do what you want to do and seven is simple too but hard seven is make yourself do what você não quer fazer e você vai mudar a sua ordem it's a matter of finally you know as you make yourself do whatyou don't want to go and get the rewards out of doing that that would become a part of your personality and the old things you used to do will become less and less. And the book says our old ideas will be cast to one side and a new set of motives will begin to dominate our minds. You know, as we begin to work these things over and over and work against ourselves, we find out that it's like the same principle that was written in the big, big book many years ago. He says, how do you become successful in your life? How do you improve your life. You know, Paul talked about it. He said, you know, living is daily dying. The only way you can live somewhere anew, you've got to die somewhere. Only we can slay ourselves. No, we can change and change for the rest of our lives. We have the opportunity to be anything we choose to be with these tools. And we can fashion them and use them. Our lives are really unlimited. Now, we people in this room could change and change and change with these tools and improve our lives to where some of our friends wouldn't even recognize us in a few years. We could grow to all kinds. We have the possibilities. But, you know, most of us won't include. None of us will. We won't because, you know, the great difficulty is we're not willing to die so that we can live and only we can slay ourselves on a daily basis through step six and seven. So step six and seven is really simple. You know, the principle is universal. When we understand it one place, it applies somewhere else. And I know there are some people here in the room that really understand this. Everybody's trying to change their bodies here lately. You see people jogging and doing these exercises and these diets, and everybody wants to change their bodies. You know, they want to make some rearrangements. They want to take something up here and move it up here, and move around. And the same way about losing weight. Now when you get ready to lose weight, there's a principle to losing weight now. Some of the people on TV tell you you can eat everything you want to eat and lose weight. You might lose some money, but you won't lose no weight. And a way you lose weight is real simple, and we're going apply that to the mind. The way you lose weight is you don't eat what you want to eat. And then you make yourself eat what your don't like, and you will lose weight, right? Same principle applies to the man. You know, I always tell this about, you know, Lubell knew My wife, she told me I need to make some rearrangements So she bought me one of those jogging suits for Christmas In fact, I got three of them now I get one every Christmas Different color, you know And she bought мне some pretty blue shoes To go with it And this velour is soft And it's nice and warm You know, and I love it Now I put it on on Sundays And get up on the couch And eat jelly beans you. And I do what I want to do, and I remain the same. But you know, as we give up the things we don't want to, they are so much value. But as we receive the things that take their place over a period of years after we get the things they take their place and we look back on the things we give up we say oh that wasn't no good you know it wasn't nothing but we will never know what we're missing a lot we're unless we're ready to die so that we can relive in a new area of our life you know people tell me the same thing about losing weight i talked a lot of people about that. And they tell me, say, when you make yourself not eat that stuff you like, you know, when you quit giving up that other stuff, they said, and make yourself eat that lettuce and all that other stuffed. They said, after about six months, you begin to like that damn lettuce. You know what I mean? But you will never know the value of this. And it's about daily dying. You know, I mean, daily giving up. And we can be reborn. And our lives are unlimited. But these are the two twos that we have and i think some of us are not really aware of the real application of these things to our life because when we get these to the destiny of our lives is not in other people we are just what we want to make of ourselves with these that we are blessed we are really blessed as as people and i guess for what we have gone through to have the opportunity at life that we had through this program now you got to be real careful because if you buy into this, then you've got to accept the most awesome responsibility that you'll ever have, period. Because if you buy into this idea, then from now on, you are going to be responsible for the way you feel. If it's true that we can change ourselves, which we can, then we can no longer blame it on other people. if i'm upset today if i find myself doing things that are dishonest if i find myself operating on fear if i found myself not treating other people right if i finding myself with resentments then i've got to realize it's because i've chosen to be that way because i don't have to be the person that i want to be that way if i don t want to be that way before that beforehand i did i had no choice that today I fully realize that I can change me with God's help for the rest of my life and become anything I want to be. And you know, if you've never lived honest, you don't know what it is to live honest. You don't Know How Much Fun It Really Is until you try it. And then after a period of time, I find that honesty is a hell of a lot better way to live because when I'm honest, I don't have to be afraid. I don't have to be worried about what they're going to do when they find out because I'm not doing those things I used to do. And life is a hell of a lot simpler. I find that living unselfishly is a lot of fun. It really is fun to do things for other people, to give to other people expecting nothing back in return is one of the greatest, hell, it's even better than sex sometimes. I never experienced that before. I did steps six and seven. To live considering what other people want is a lot of fun. It's a great way to live. I didn't know that before. Today, I do. Six and seven will allow me to change for the rest of my life as far as I wish to change. Two little simple tools. But as Joe said, I doubt if we're ever going to change all that much. And the reason we're not is because most of us are in love with what we are. and most of us are afraid of what change will bring and most other people most of this are willing to pay the price and live in pain because we don't want to change but if we want to change these are the tools that will change us for the rest of our life let's take about a ten minute break then we'll come back and finish up things go fast from here on we've been doing a lot of hard work up to this point we have taken this step forward and we found out the things within our character that had become objectionable to us. We talked about them to another human being in five. We became willing to have God remove those things in six. We asked Him to take them away in seven. And we began to try to practice the opposite as God takes away, and slowly we begin to change. I think probably one of the main reasons that these twelve steps work so good is because they follow a design that we have always had in humankind. They follow the same design that мы born to live in. All my life I've heard about the three dimensions of life. This thing called the spirit, the dimension called the mental dimension, and the dimension call the physical dimension. And we're told over and over that we've been sick in all three dimensions. and we also could see in step four that when the spiritual malady was overcome then we could become well in the other two dimensions and I never really understood what this was all about until we began to look at the way the steps themselves are laid out it told us on page 55 that God dwells within all human beings And the great reality is that it's only there that he may be found. So apparently we're going to have to live in this spiritual dimension. Whether we like it or not is beside the point. If God dwells within ourselves, then we're gonna live with God. Now the only question is, do we live with the Spirit in harmony or disharmony? All my life I lived in disharminy with the spirit. All my life I ran the show. I always did what I wanted to do whenever I wanted to do it and to hell with anybody else and don't pay any attention to God's directions. Complete disharmony with the Spirit. Probably step one, two, and three got me right with God. There's where I admitted complete defeat. There's were I came to believe and there's where I made that simple decision to let God be the director of my life. And for the first time, as long as I can remember, I've got the right relationship with God. He runs the show. I am the follower. He is the leader. So I'm okay in the first dimension of life. Now that I got okay with God, that removed enough self that I could begin to look in this little store I've Got Up Here In My Head And I could begin to look in my mind for those damaged and unsaleable items. I could began to look at resentments and fears and harms done to others. I never could do that before, but now I can. And in 4, 5, 6, and 7, I get okay in my head. You know, we've all got a mind. Sometimes we act as if we don't, but we do. And we're going to have to live with that mind. And the only question is, do we live with it in harmony or disharmony? Always been screwed up in my head. Always doing things that I knew I shouldn't do. Always running on fear and anger. Always filled with guilt and remorse. Never being satisfied with me. In four, five, six, and seven, I got all right in my hair. And now that I'm right with God, and now that I'm not right with me, then maybe I can get right in the third dimension, the physical dimension. Now, many of us thought for years that the physical dimension was just our body, period. But not only is it our body but it's everything material in the world, period, it is other people. It is my home. It is my job. It is my car. It is my children. It is my neighbors. It is everything in the world. Now, all of us have to live in this physical, sociological dimension. Whether we like it or not, we have to. Even the old hermit, he goes up on the side of the mountain and he said, to hell with them, I don't need them. But he does. Every so often he has to come to town and buy some beans and bacon and a little flour and take it back up on the hill with him. We all are dependent upon other people. We would like to think we aren't, but we are. I wonder how many people it took for you and I to be here this morning. How many people did it take to make the clothes that I've got on right now? How many people did it take to prepare the coffee that we're drinking at the present time? How many People did it Take to have the hot water so we could have our shower this morning? How many PEOPLE did it TAKE for you and I to do what we're doing right at this moment? We just can't live by ourselves. The question is, do we live in harmony or disharmony with this physical sociological dimension? Always disharmoney. I've always been in trouble with other people, always doing things I shouldn't do, always hurting them, always they hurt me, always mad at them. Never had any peace of mind there at all. If I could get right in that third dimension, then chances are I would be like God wanted me to be. If I Could Be Completely Well and Whole in All Three Dimensions of Life, then I would be fitting into the pattern that God designed me for in the very beginning. Now, I can't just have part of it. I can get right in the first dimension and the second dimension and then disregard the third dimension. Because if I keep on having trouble with people, then that's going to back up in my head and I'm going to get sick in my hand. And if I get sick at my head, then that is going to backup into the spirit and then self will block God out again and I'll get sick with the Spirit and then I'll go back to drinking again. So if we've progressed this far, we'll have to continue a little further in order to be complete, whole, well human beings. Steps 8 and 9 are designed to get us right in this physical sociological relationship with the world and everything in it. Now, the professionals will tell us that the way to help the alcoholic is to get everything right in that outer circle. And when the job's right, the wife's right the car's right the neighbor's right then he can be happy and he won't have to drink. And by God we tried that, didn't we? Desperately we used to try to straighten up that outer cycle. I'd have the wife I'dhave the job and my car would be gone. And I'd run around and find my car and I'd look around and the job might be there but the wife would be gone. And then I'd start working on getting the wife back and I'll have the wife in the car and the damn job would be going. I never could get that outer circle straightened up because I was always sick in the head. But now that I'm right with God, right with me, maybe I can get right in that outer circle also. They tell us that AA is an inside job. We start in the center and then we get right in the mind and now we can get right with the world and everything in it through the next two steps, steps eight and nine. Joe? You hear him back there? that went on yeah there's no other than the floor here that's all okay throughout our book it talks about and we're going to be breaking out throughout the book several times it talks about a design of living this book is a design to living it gives us a design to live by and it's bringing out, there is a design to human life. There's a design to everything on the face of this earth. And what we are, what it's teaching us is this design of living. And we can fit our lives under this design, you know, then we can, we become comfortable, we can be happy and serene and all as we use our lives as it was designed and this is not new like nothing is new and as bill said none of this is new we just all this is nothing has been invented you know there has been a design for human life since the beginning of the creation of man and we can we can find in many on in most great religions and most great philosophies although it's set a lot different different words to describe it but There is a design to live in. You know, many thousand years ago, a great teacher talked about how humans should live. Someone asked him, said, How do you find this way of life? What is the comfortable way to live? And he said, you know, it's an inside job. He said, Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart and all thy soul. That's one, two, and three. that's what we call it in AA it's a little different but we call them 1, 2 and 3 and he said in all thy mind and that's 4, 5, 6 and 7 and then he said and thy neighbor as thyself there's nothing new about this you know but now that we have corrected all these other areas now we go into the final dimension of life our relationship with the world and the people in it And as we say, that has to be in order. And after we complete that area, then we're going to begin to have the promises. The promises are going to come after that final dimension. And so now our book goes into the final dimension of life where it talks about our relationship with the world and the people in it in Steps 8 and Step 9. Not only do we find these three circles and these nine steps in the big, big book that Joe talks about. But we find them in every true spiritual movement in the world today. And whether a spiritual movement is true or not is based upon whether it works or not. And we'll find the same thing at the basis of all the true spiritual movements. They are all designed to put us back in the way God intended for us to be in the first place and the way we were when we first started. I think that's what the book means when it says we were reborn. We have changed entirely into something like we used to be in the beginning that we lost as we grew up and through our drinking. So I thinkthat's why it really works. The book talks about a design for living that really works under all circumstances, and apparently that'swhat we're really trying to do here. Tell me on page 76, Now we need more action without which we find that faith without works is dead. Let's look at steps 8 and 9. We have a list of all persons we've harmed and to whom we are willing to make amends. We made it when we took inventory. We subjected ourselves to a drastic self-appraisal. And we only pointed that out as we went through on that resentment list many of those people we had harmed. On that fears list, some of those we had harmed also. On that sex list, some of them we had heard in any other way such as stealing from them and et cetera that we added them on to that list and analyzed them out also. So if we did for, as the book says to do it, we've got the people we've harmed in the past. All we've got to do is extract their names off of those three sheets, and we have the complete list. Chances are by the time we get here, we may have thought of one or two or three more. And if so, we add them on the list. Now we go out to our fellows and repair the damage done in the past. We attempt to sweep away the debris which has accumulated out of our effort to live on self-will and run the show ourselves. If we haven't the will to do this, we ask until it comes. Remember, it was agreed at the beginning we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol. And again, the book recognizes self cannot overcome self. Only God has that power. And we have prayer in all steps. And here it tells us and recognizes that we're not going to want to make these amends. And if we haven'T the will to do things, to do these, we ask for the willingness to become willing to do these things. And gradually over a period of time, we can become willing to make amends to them all. For a long time I didn't think I could do this. And I remember going to my sponsor and I said, I can't take step eight. He said, how come? And I said because it talks about being willing to make Amends to Them All. And I say some of the people that I've hurt Hurt me just as bad as I ever hurt them. And I'll be damned if I'm going to make amends to those people. I hate their guts. I'm not going to do that. I'm never going to take an amen to them. And he just laughed. And he said, oh, Charlie, as usual, you're getting the cart before the horse. He said, you don't make amens until you get in step nine. Quit worrying about making amens. He said step eight just says you made a list of all people you've harmed. You think I'm willing to make an amens to them all? I said, hell, that's what I'm talking about. I'm not willing to make amends to them all. He said, well, let's treat it then as a two-part step. He said the first half of Step 8 is very simple. Made a list of all these people we've harmed. He said now you made it when you took four. I saw it. And he said the First Half of Step Eight isn't very difficult. He said if you've got two or three names to add on to it, why don't you add them on and complete that list? And he said, when that list is complete, come back and then we'll look at the rest of step eight. So I went home, got my list out again, added two or three names, took it back to him, and I said, now here's the damn list, but I'm not willing to make amends to some of these people. He said, well, maybe I can help you become willing to making amends for them all. And I said I wish you would because I can't. He said let's follow a simple little thing. He said, let's take a sheet of paper and let's divide it into four columns. And he said, now some of the people on this list, you love them and they love you. He said your mother is on here and your children are on here. And he says I don't know about old Barbara any better than you do. But he said there are people on here that you love and they Love you and you really want to get it straightened out with them right now. Is that right? And I said well sure it is. He said, okay, let's take their names off the list. Let's put them in column one and let's label column one right now. He said some of the people on this list, you know you're going to make amends to them. You're not too swift about it. You're Not too keen about it, but you know that sooner or later you're going to Make amends To them. Is that right? And I said, well, yeah. He said, let's take their names out of there, put them in the second column, and let's call it later. He said now there's some on here you're not sure about. You may or may not. You haven't made up your mind. Is that right? And I said, sure, it's right. He said okay, let'S take their name, put him in the third column, and label it maybe. he said now when you're through there'll be two or three of them left on there that you're not ever going to make any amends to period is that right and i said yes sir he said let's put them in column four and label it never he said no you can make amends to those right now and he said by the time you're through with that i think you'll be ready to do some of the laters And he said, by the time you're through the laters, you'll probably be ready to do some of the maybes. And he says, I almost bet you, by the Time You're Through with the Maybe Column, you'll be ready to do the nevers. And the old fool was right. He did not let me block Step 8 and 9 out because of two or three people. He gave me a way to start becoming willing to make amends to them all by making amends first to those that I wish to. And as I worked myself my way through the process, I gradually became willing to make amends to them all. It really worked for me. Probably there are still some misgivings. As we look over the list of business acquaintances and friends we've hurt, we may feel diffident about going to some of them on a spiritual basis. Let us be reassured. To some people, we need not, and probably should not, emphasize the spiritual feature on our first approach. We might prejudice them. At the moment, we're trying to put our lives in order, but this is not an end in itself. Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us. It is seldom wise to approach an individual who still smarts from our injustice to him and announce that we've gone religious. In the prize ring, this would be called eating with a chin. Why lay ourselves open to being branded fanatics or religious boars? We may kill a future opportunity to carry a beneficial message. He says, be a little careful. Let's don't speak too freely about this spiritual, religious thing to some of these people because some of them might also be alcoholics. And we may be of benefit to them later on if we don't screw it up now. And it said our real purpose, after all, is to be of maximum service to God and those about us. And most people, if they're still smarting from our injustice we did to them, they're not going to be very interested in us talking about religious matters. They're going to Be interested in what the hell are you doing to make amends for the things you did to me, they'll say. Step nine says, we made direct amends to such people. wherever possible, except when to do so, would injure them or others. It tells me the kind of amends to make, direct. It tells Me when to make them, wherever possible. It tells My when not to make those, except where to do it would injur them or other. Now I think there are two kinds of direct amends. And there's an example of them here in the book. One kind to direct a man is face-to-face, one-on-one, directly. Now we would rather as alcoholics not face them. Oh, it would be so much easier to write a letter and forget about it. It'd be a lot easier to make a telephone call. But probably we will not get the full benefit of step nine unless we can go to them face-to-face, one-on-one, directly. It seems as though we get more relief from that. It seems alsough when we leave that particular situation, we will know we've done our utmost to straighten it out. If I write you a letter, I'm not really sure how you received it. If I make a telephone call, I're not really certain what's going on. But if I sit down with you face to face, one on one, then I am fully convinced that I have done my utmost to straighten it out. It tells me about that in the middle of the second paragraph. It says, The question of how to approach the man we hated will arise. It may be he has done us more harm than we have done him. And though we may have acquired a better attitude toward him, we are still not too keen about admitting our faults. Nevertheless, with a person we dislike, we take the bit in our teeth. It is harder to go to an enemy than to a friend, but we find it much more beneficial to us. We go to him in a helpful and forgiving spirit, confessing our former ill-feeling and expressing our regret. Under no condition do we criticize such a person or argue. Simply we tell him that we'll never get over drinking until we've done our utmost to straighten out the past. We're there to sweep off our side of the street, realizing that nothing worthwhile can be accomplished till we do so, never trying to tell him what he should do. His faults are not discussed. We stick with our own. If our manner is calm, frank, and open, we will be gratified with the result. In nine pieces out of ten, the unexpected happens. Sometimes the man we are calling upon admits his own fault. So feuds of years standing melt away in an hour. Rarely do we fail to make satisfactory progress. Our former enemies sometimes praise what we are doing and wish us well. Occasionally they will offer assistance. It should not matter, however, if someone does throw us out of his office. We've made our demonstration, done our part. It's water over the dam. Now, the purpose of the amend is not to get other people to like us. Hopefully they will. But the real purpose is for me to get rid of my guilt and my remorse. And until I've gone to you directly, face-to-face, one-on-one, I'm never sure that I've done my utmost to straighten it out. But if I've going to you one-o-one and then you still don't accept it, then I can say to myself, That's your problem because I've doing everything I can do to straighten that thing out. It really does work. This guy I hated so bad, I finally had to go make my amends to him. And I went to him face-to-face, one-on-one. And to my amazement, he admitted his faults also. And then he made his amends too. And when we were through, it turned out that we were good friends from then on. That's why we can visit in each other's home today. That's Why We Can Laugh and Cut Up and Shake Hands and Enjoy Each Other. If I'd written him a letter, I don't think that would have happened. If I'd made a telephone call, I doubt if that would have happened. But face-to-face, it did, and we straightened that mess out. The book says that's probably the best way to do this. Another kind of amend, direct amend, is equal restitution. Equal restitution In order for us to get rid of guilt and remorse from the past, it's well been known for thousands of years, Until we make equal restitution, we'll probably never be free of it. It doesn't do me much good to come to you and say, look, when I was drinking, I stole $400 from you. Will you forgive me? I'm sorry about it. Chances are you're going to say, I'm Sorry too. Where's my $400? I know now that a lot of people in AA say, Well, that involves so much money, I could never possibly pay it back. But I don't understand that if we could steal it, then surely we can pay it back also. And I think we forget that from step three on, God's been with us. We're not by ourself anymore. And if we are to do these things, then God will make it possible if we are willing to make the sacrifices necessary to do these things. And I have a friend that's been sober well over 30 years. When he was sober 29 years, he said to me one day, Charlie, I paid back the rest of them last week. And he was 29 years sober when he said that. I said, Dan, how do you feel about that? He said, I feel 10 foot tall. Now, Dan was about 5 foot 8. He said this is the first time in my life I can never remember that I don't owe somebody something for what I've stolen from them in the past. And he said, I feel good about me. Now, Dr. Bob didn't get sober right off the bat. Dr. Robb didn't want to make amends. Dr. Robert had to get drunk again. And the day when he came back off that drunk and when he went to the hospital to do the surgery and Bill gave him the bottle of beer just before he went up there to stop his shaking hands and he didn't come back to the car after the surgery and Bill and Ann waited on him and they didn't know where he was. And they thought the beer had triggered the allergy and he had gone out to get drunk again. So they went back to the house and late that evening, Dr. Bob showed up sober and Bill said, where in the hell have you been? He said, I've been going up and down both sides of the street making my amends. He never took another drink after that. You see, he was ashamed of his alcoholism. He thought it was a moral thing. And until such time as he made his amends, he did not find the peace of mind necessary to stay sober. And I think we can do these things, too, if we're willing to do it. There is a little example on page 78 about dealing with money. Most alcoholics owe money. Joe? Most alcoholists owe money We don't dodge our creditors telling them what we are trying to do. We make no bones about our drinking. They usually know it anyway, whether we think so or not. Now, we are afraid of disclosing alcoholism on a theory that it may cause us financial harm. Approaching this way, the most ruthless creditor will sometimes surprise us. Arranging the best deal we can, we let people know we are sorry. Our drinking has made us slow to pay. We must lose our fears of creditors no matter how far down, how far we have to go, for we are liable to drink if we are free to do so. Or make whichever arrangements we can. You know, we alcoholics would like to think that we could wait to get this guy's $400 all together and go in there with a big shot and drop it on him and say, here's your damn money. You know? That's the way we would like To do it. But I think, you know, we must be willing to maybe we can go in There and say I can pay you $10 a month. And that would be really, we would be repaying it and it would be good for our ego. And it would give us, we Would get something out of that. But surely, you know, I mean, Dan, and the key thing in talking about making these amends, the key things is the willingness to do it. And as soon as we take that first $10 in there, we're free. You know, we still owe $390, but when we lay that first$10, we are free from the guilt and remorse because we are making amends and we have opened the door. If I don't pay you your $400, then I never feel comfortable walking down the street because I just might run into you. And what are you going to say when I run into and I still owe you $400? If I made my amends to the best of my ability, I can go anywhere in the world completely free. I don�t have to be worried about running into anybody anymore. I don �t have sneak down back alleys anymore. And this is the whole purpose, to get rid of that guilt and that remorse so that we ourselves will be able to feel comfortable and be peaceful and happy and free. As it goes on through this thing, in the next several pages, it gives us example after example after sample of when to make amends, how to make Amends, and when not to make AMENDS. joe and i both agree that with the people we've worked with in the past we have never had a question asked of us about an amend whether to make it or not to make it or how to make it that we couldn't find the answer for it in the big book i think the real problem comes with we don't follow the big book we take a step off a wall we read it we determine what it says and we try to work it that way And when we do, we usually get things screwed up. Here it gives us all we need to know about making these amends. It tells us how to handle creditors. It tells uns how to handel domestic problems. It tells how to halle sex outside of marriage. It tells un how to hanle those that are suing for alimony that we fail to pay. It tells all the things we need t know in regards to making the amends If we make them wherever we possibly can, then we're going to start feeling good about ourselves. It also tells us over on page 83 in the third paragraph that there may be some wrongs we can never fully right. we don't worry about them if we can honestly say to ourselves that we would write them if we could you know some of the people we've heard in the past maybe they're already dead and gone and we can't go to them to make a direct amend some ofthe people we have heard in the past to make an amend to them today may reveal something that they didn't even know about in the beginning and if so we're going to hurt them that much more and just as importantly we may hurt some other people too. In those cases we simply cannot make that amend but we don't worry about that if we could honestly say to ourself I would make that amendment if I possibly could. My father died before I sobered up. I never had a chance to make full complete amends to him but one day I had the opportunity to go to the cemetery and sit down and talk and say what I'm going to do is take care of my mother for the rest of my life just exactly like he would and that's what I've done and I've made my amends to him to the best of my possible ability and I'm free of that completely some people say well when I was drinking I was a shoplifter I stole a lot of stuff out of a department store now how in the world could I ever pay them back I say you can't pay them back. In the first place, they've already written it off the books. There's no way that they want you to come in and give them $200 and screw their books up again. But what you can do is take $200 and give it to the Salvation Army or some other worthwhile charity, and then you're going to feel good about yourself because you've paid that money back. Usually we can do those things. If we can't, though, if we can honestly say we would do it if we could, then we should be free from that thing in the past. My book also says some people cannot be seen. We send them an honest letter. There may be a valid reason for postponement in some cases, but we don't delay if it can be avoided. We should be sensible, tactful, considerate, and humble without being servile or scraping. As God's people, we stand on our own feet. We don't crawl before anyone. You know, I don't think we have to beg people to forgive us. If we go to them and make our amends to the best of our ability and they don't accept it, then that becomes their problem. We don'T need to go back and beg them over and over and over to forgive US. If they DON'T forgive US, that's their problem and we really don't need to worry about it anymore if we can say to ourselves, we'VE done the best that we could possibly do. Okay. After we have completed step 89, our relationship to other people, this brings us to the promises in the big book. Now, we have completely completed all three dimensions, God, ourselves, and other human beings. And this brings up the promise of God. This brings us back to the results. Remember we said if you believed in step two and if you decided in step three and you took the actions of four, five, six, seven, eight, and nine, and you're going to receive some results. That's what the promises are. The promises are the results of these steps. It says, if we have been painstaking about this phase of our development, if we haven't been painstricken about these phases, these steps, we'll be amazed before we are halfway through. We're goingto know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past and wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we can see that our experience can benefit others. The feeling of usefulness and self-care will disappear. We will lose interest in our selfish things and gain interest in ourselves. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us. We'll intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we cannot do for ourselves. Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly, and this is the spiritual experience, sometimes slowly. This is a spiritual awakening that occurs over time. they will always materialize if we work for them now we'll guarantee these things as results of these steps and of all the promises you know we we had the results throughout steps four and steps five and now we see the greatest promises uh as a result of completion these three dimensions of living the real promises begin to take place in our life surely if we've had these promises and if you'll notice none of them deal with the body they all deal with the mind surely if these promises have come true in our life then we've had a personality change a personality chain sufficient to recover from the disease of alcoholism where we used to be sober and restless irritable and discontented filled with shame fear guilt and remorse now we can be sober and have all these good feelings in our mind than it is necessary to drink in order to change the way that we feel. Now, these things always materialize if we work for them. There is a stipulation here. We can't go to 90 meetings in 90 days and get these promises. We can'T come to meetings and soak it up by osmosis and get those promises. We can' t get these promises. There are some things that we will need to do. Some of you all in this room are as gray-headed as Joe and I. And you remember back when we were kids growing up when the most important thing in our life was the Saturday afternoon serial movie at the picture show. If you didn't get it to the movie on Saturday afternoon, there's no sense in going to Sunday school because you've got nothing to talk about, period. Used to, I'd get up on Saturday morning and I'd say, Mama, am I going to get to go to the movies? Am I going for the movie today? and she'd say, yes, son, after. And then she would lay out a whole series of steps that I would need to take. After you mow the grass, after you help me with the dishes, after you empty the water pan under the icebox, after you do all these things, you get to go. And I would take those steps and then Mother would give me a quarter and I would go to the movie and it would cost me a dime usually or a nickel to get in the movie. It would cost my a nickel or a dime for a bag of popcorn and maybe a nickel for a candy bar and then a nickel for an RC Cola and just live it up all Saturday afternoon as the result of the steps that I took that morning. The same thing is true here. Promises always come after. I'm going to read them one more time with your permission. I want to read Them for two reasons. First, I like the way I read them. But the real reason is I want to add some words to them of my own. And these words are whenever I took a drink of alcohol. Now this was back in the days when alcohol was my friend and when I was young and when I could drink it and I could ask a girl to dance and I could take her home in the backseat of a car and I could become the world's greatest lover in the backseat of that 36 Chevrolet this is the way alcohol used to make me feel when it was my friend before it turned against me whenever I took a drink of alcohol I knew a new freedom and a new happiness whenever I took a drink of alcohol I did not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. Whenever I took a drink of alcohol, I comprehended the word serenity and I knew peace. Whenever I take a drink of alcohol no matter how far down the scale I had gone, I could see how my experience would benefit others. Whenever I took a drinking of alcohol that feeling of uselessness and self-pity would disappear. Whenever I took a drink of alcohol I would lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in my fellows. Whenever I took a drink of alcohol, self-seeking would slip away. Whenever I took a drink of alcoholic alcohol, my whole attitude and outlook upon life would change. Whenever i took a break of alcohol fear of people and of economic insecurity would leave me. Whenever took a week of alcohol I would intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle me and ever I took the drink of alchohol I would suddenly realize that alcohol was doing for me what I could not do for myself. Now think about that. All my life, I have looked for a sense of ease and comfort. And for years, I found it in alcohol. And alcohol gave me these good feelings. And then one day it turned against me and it damn near destroyed me and I spent the rest of my drinking career trying to find a way to drink and get those good feelings back. Today I realize I could not do that because of my alcoholism. Now, I came to the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, and you showed me a program. And I applied it in my life. And I get the same results from it that I used to get from drinking alcohol, yet I don't have to drink alcohol to get it anymore. The first nine steps give me all the sense of ease and comfort, all of the good feelings that I ever got from alcohol, and none of the bad things. I've never been placed in jail because of the first nine stairs. I've never been drug into a divorce court because of the first nine steps. Never vomited. Damn near did a time or two, but never really vomited because of the first 9 steps. You see, this is the miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous. The reason we don't drink today is because we don' t need to drink today. If we can get all the good things from the first 5 steps, first nine steps that we ever got from alcohol, then we don't need to drink alcohol to change the way that we feel. Isn't this something? Isn't that something? It took me years to realize that. Now, these promises are so great. Now what I would really like to do as I receive them in my life is stop right here and do nothing else. You know, for a person that's been sick in all three dimensions all their life, and you feel this way, my God, it's great. And if we aren't careful, we'll say it can't get any better. This is all there is to it, and we'll refuse to try to go any further. And if We do, we're in serious trouble because another law in this universe is this. Nothing ever stays the same. Everything is constantly changing. Everything is going forward or it's backing up. Everything is growing or it dies. Everything is progressing or it regresses. Bill twice has mentioned, once in his story and once in chapter 2, about a fourth dimension of existence that they never even dreamed of. We saw the regular three. but there's a fourth dimension that most people in this world will never, never experience it because they don't have the tools. There is a fourth dimension that many people in AA will never experience because they think the last three steps are maintenance steps. We don't believe they are. If that universal law is true that nothing ever stays the same then there's no such thing as maintenance. To maintain means to keep as is. And if everything's in a constant state of change, then you can't maintain. We use that word, but really it's something that can't be done. If we will look at the last three steps and look at them as growth steps and be able to employ them and use them in our life, we can continue this spiritual growth and we can get into a dimension of living far beyond these promises and find a way of life that is indescribably wonderful. Let's look at the last three steps for just a little bit and see if they might not be growth steps.