Relationship With a Higher Power – Sponsorship Workshop – 2024 – Part 7 of 16 – Ali H.

Hi, everybody. My name is Ali. I'm a grateful alcoholic. Okay, press okay here. Fantastic. I like that one. Thank you, Mickey. Thank you for the beautiful team. I appreciate all of you very, very much. Kuna, Frank and Kristen, Trish, Mickey, Lorraine, Anissa. Did I miss anybody? Becca, Becca. I appreciate you guys very much for being here every week as well as all the attendees. This program this workshop wouldn't be what it is without without you guys. I always want to make sure to acknowledge that can I just get some before we begin? I want to share something with you a little bit heavy, but just can we get somebody who? who, oh, good Jersey. Jill, come on up, Jill. Thank you, Jill Alcohollis. I'm assuming you're asking for the set aside prayer? God, please help me set aside everything I think I know about you, everything I think that know about myself, everything i think i know about others and everything i think i knew about my own recovery so i may have an open mind and a new experience with all these things please help me see the truth thank you oh man thank you joe nice to see you okay um so uh yesterday was a really tough day for us as always i've had very little sleep but that's okay um so uh yesterday um i was taking a one what time was it i can't remember everything is just so blurry um i had very little sleep so i was thinking an app and then the door to the room burst open absolutely screaming and she's just beside herself so apparently what happened was that baby was sleeping on her and then started to vomit and then his eyes went back like rolled back and he was just his face turned blue and uh and he just his body went limp so uh so we were just she was just beside herself and i was just in prayer and just trying to keep things calm and we made it to the emergency room and uh and thank god um they they they let us go like go in pretty quickly right usually there's a longer wait pretty quickly and that baby's okay and everything's okay they've done a bunch of tests he's okay um the reason i want to share that with you guys is i don't know i guess i'll reveal itself now One is that I'm so grateful for this program because I get to live a life of meaning and purpose. Because no matter what happens in my life, I get to see God's will in it and see how I can serve in the moment. This is not who I was not too long ago. When something like this happens, and i know it may not seem like a big deal to some people but for us it was you know um it just makes you present to how insignificant everything else is everything else all the fears and the resentments that he should have said this and why did they do this so why did i vote for this oh my god what's gonna happen for money next month oh my God it's just so insignificant the only thing that matters are relationships the relationship i have with my family with my friends with you guys with the people in my life and all those relationships arise out of the relationship I have with this loving power every single relationship I have that means anything in my Life of any substance comes out of this relationship with this power so i gotta see to it that my relationship with him is right and then great things come to pass with him as right and i get to show up as a father who's calm and therefore his wife and his child gets two hours sleep and is here with you guys you know i gotta say to her that my leadership with him is right so i can pass it on to his other kids i'm not unique in this i just have the microphone so that's why i'm sharing my little experience here with you guys but i think it's so fitting because such a perfect fit for all of us gathering every single saturday morning or afternoon or evening wherever you are in the world because we are all present to on some level to the deal that we made back in the third step god i'm going to stay close to you and help your kids you take care of the details in my life this workshop is about the 12th step every single step we i mentioned this before but every single stop is like a is like spiritual thread i follow it leads to the next step and the promise of of the current step is in the next that the promise so the current step is the next step the revelations of the current stuff and the next up next step next step finally I said in prayer meditation and build it build a practice so I can hear him her go left go right shut up don't say nothing let the doctor talk but there's an in order to and all that in order to try to pass it on this message to other alcoholics and to practice principles in my affairs see because i'm better when i'm with you guys i'm not here as a favor to anybody i'm battered when i am with you guys okay come come come okay i don't usually do this but not so much wants to say hi in light of what he hi nick should we say hi say hi baby's good i was sharing about yesterday i was saying about yesterday he's all good now okay bye-bye i love you i'm sorry guys that was fitting I'm just the better he will be when I'm with you guys. So, thank you. What a beautiful program. Do you know what I mean? What does Dr. Bob say? What does Mr. Bob say? I know this is not part of the agenda, but hold on. dr bob and his story dr bob in his story i have it i have it right at the end of his thing okay so it is the most last couple of it is a most wonderful blessing to be relieved of the terrible curse with which i was afflicted my health is good and i have regained my self-respect and the respect of my colleagues my home life is ideal and my business is as good as can be expected in these uncertain times here we go this relates to what we're doing here excuse me i spend a great deal of time passing on what i learned to others who want who want and need it badly i do it for four reasons sponsor try to sponsor pass this message on whatever capacity god has me do has us doing for four seasons he said sense of duty are you kidding me this life that i've been given with all the ups and downs are you joking with me it's a duty it is a duty it is it is pleasure of course it is a pleasure because every time i'm with you guys i get to talk about god i get to be present to his grace of course the pleasure and the times when i'm weak you guys and i'm a little bit down in the dumps and the valleys i get to hold on to your faith because in so doing i'm paying my debt to the man who took time to pass it on to me absolutely man we pay forward that's what i was told i don't pay back i pay forward i pay for it because every time i do it i take out a little more insurance for myself against a possible slip so throughout this throughout the last few years of um trying to pass this message on and being blessed with a lot of opportunity to pass this message on um i come i i have gone through this stage in my recovery and i come across a lot people that go through the stage and their recovery it's not bad or good that is what god has us doing at this point in time the stage in recovery is this especially for our big book friends okay stage recovery is that i used to look for all these different ways to go through the big book i want a deeper experience because oh that's another way i'm going to try that way to go to this big that's another way oh i'll try that away to go this way right and there's nothing wrong with that because i had to do all of that to come to this realization right it doesn't matter how i go through the big book it really doesn't it doesn't matter because my spiritual growth has come from my deep relationship with this loving power and when I say deep not compared to anyone else compared to where I was yesterday but yesterday's okay my deep relationship with This Higher Power has come as a result of passing this message onto someone else not from going through the Big Book over and over and world for myself it took me a long time to get to come to that truth now obviously i also have i always transmit what i have so this program tells me that it's not a theory i have to live it so i recommitted the first nine proposals once a year i write inventories often another prayer meditative routine i do have a step 10 practice which i do so imperfectly you know but i think that's a beautiful spiritual truth to get present to what's your motive for being here ask yourself what's my motive is my motive to sound really good you're probably not going to get what you're looking for is my motor to go through the big book yet one more time so i can feel good you're prolly not gonna get the depth that you're searching for is my motive first and foremost to be a better more effective messenger to God's other kids who are suffering from this program so I can pass this on for them everything else is going to be a beautiful byproduct the joy, the happiness, the depth in recovery yeah i guess all that needed to come out eh all right so thank you uh thank you for being here um why don't we just jump in because that's that's what we're doing here i have to check my motive if my motive to help gods are the kids man it is there is no depth there's no limit to the depth of this experience in this beautiful life with this loving power. Once my motive becomes about how I feel, ever so slowly, my experience becomes shallower and shallower and shallow. It doesn't make me bad. In fact, sometimes I need that shallow experience because maybe that's all the spiritual feeling that I can handle at that time. Notice nothing i say is that about i was wrong you were wrong you were bad no i'm not god i'm just sharing my experience with you all right ready so let's uh i'm gonna share so listen if you go to page 75 we're going to start page 75 and i'm going to share the screen with you kristen can you please share in the chat the most updated the very last big book directions that i shared in our in our co-host chat please and kuna if if you can or if you if kristen can i'm not sure which one if you you or kristen did the google docs because i want people to be able to click on it and save it so last week last week let me see okay so last year what i shared with you guys wasn't updated there was a couple of mistakes and a couple things were out of order so whatever it was emailed to you last week or you downloaded from the chat last week disregard that this is the most updated directions of what we've been doing here okay and kuna is going to put in the chat kristen's going to pull in the chat i'm following this in the next couple of days and he's going gonna be kind enough to set with a note sending this most updated one okay so i'm just going to quickly go and do an over with overview of what we've done so far okay so notice it says first session discussion now this first session discussion we didn't do together but this could happen over a few uh meetings or few uh encounters with the new person or the new prospect right it can happen so basically what i do is what bill wilson did with dr bob on which we are suggested to do any 12-step calls or any anytime we meet someone right first i know what the first step is mental physical allergy mental obsession the unmanageability i share about my drinking to point out the physical allergy and mental obsession and a little bit of manageability of life and then they ask about the sponsor or the potential sponsor he's drinking right i share my mind they share about theirs see if they can relate and then when i see that they can relay them they want it and and then i asked them something like you'd be asking anyways Where's the choice? Would you like to stay sober and live a life filled with leaning on purpose? Sorry, whatever. However way. Right. And then are you willing to go any length together? I have that conversation or the spirit of that conversation before we open the big book. We set up a session to open a big book together. Before that, I want to know, I'm not just going to force anyone or assume anything. And these days, it's not like back then, the stories that we hear, they used to meet people mainly through family members and churches and hospitals and stuff like that. we meet them in the rooms of a there's so many meetings and millions and millions of people and head full of alcohol aa and treatment centers that talk about it you know so that's basically what i do and the big book sessions so everything that we've done so you don't have to worry about missing anything um let me see okay see vc session number one we did step one oh see we did step one physical allergy right we jumped in the middle page 20 and then now we did the color code circle and triangle all that's there so you don't have to worry about missing anything okay and then okay check this out so there's a lot more detail here um there'sa lot more detailed here if someone needs it especially at the beginning you might needed okay and we'll go through today's session what we're doing i just want to show you something okay a lot more detail here and then look number 20 step 11 right 20 21 22 that could be one session doesn't know whatever spare move step 11 stop then we do step 12 chapter 7 working with uh working with others and then after we finish chapter seven, see all the notes that would go back to the preface and all the four words. We do everything that we missed. Build story. We do everything. We didn't do build story. We're going to cover that. We cover everything in chapter two. There's a solution that we miss. Mental obsession, more about alcoholism. We just touched on that. And then we agnostics whatever we miss, and then we go to step 12, practicing principles in our affairs. The chapters that almost everybody misses, eight, nine, and 10. We talk, we do that together. Vision for you, me and the sponsor that is vision for you we cover and then I cover with the sponsor Dr. Bob's story because Bill's story the co-founder is covered the only story we cover is Dr. Bobs that's the other co-founder and then this is what I do and then after that the big book is done I'm going through the traditions of the 12 and 12 with the man that I sponsor okay so so the efficiency of this method is that we laser like went through the step one and two chapters which usually take months for some of the big book guys line by line guys once in a couple weeks we go through that and we write inventory we begin the action process right and then as i'm going back to the forwards and doing everything else my process has been it's been very effective what i have found so the person continues to make their man so every session at the beginning we talk about okay take three to five names write the exact harms and we'll talk about that later right exact harm is done and let's set up a plan and by next week when we meet again you tell me what amends you made what approaches you made right we do that first and then we continue right this way we can i can walk shoulder to shoulder with the new person until they get some spiritual feet under them you know what i mean as they're trying to show up to get sponsees and pray about it right so and it also allows us to develop a relationship it also allow them to get a review of some step one stuff as we're covering some stuff that we missed right it's been really effective this way Now, if somebody would just finish at the chapter working with others, which we're going to try to do, right? If we just finish with that and let the person go, beautiful, they have all they need. They can go to many big book studies later on. It's all good. It's not good. I'm just sharing with you what I did. I've outlined in this big book in this direction. So I think it may be useful and helpful. So now, I hope that helped. Let's talk about today's session. Excuse me. let's talk about today's session you're going to write this down it's emailed to you you can download it from there okay so the last session we did uh the sex inventory and then uh we pray and meditate on coming up with a sane and sound ideal today's and then we did into action step five page 72 to page 75 the end of the first four paragraph which is where we left off Okay. Today's session is going to be just, just note when I say some of the details and so they said, so and then we start the fifth step right and let's see over here let me just see the notes here see it says number 14 at the end of session book a time for the fifth step three to five hours time it may take more than one session okay so everything is clear-cut directions you won't miss anything and then and then see this is um this is during the fifth step right like for example the details during the first step what i do is i have a pen and paper i just take some all bone sets are given to the person after that i don't take anything right and i just jot down defects of character that i see coming up and and maybe after every fourth column i talk about do you see anything coming up this what i see can you see that right so make a list of defects of character as you see them and share them with his sponsor throughout the session for him to take notes or for her also to take those after the fifth step is finished okay this is what we're going to cover today ask about ask about i probably sorry i just wrote extra there's a mistake here but ask about big secrets aka dark crannies share some of your own right and then and then all the directions are there that's what we're going to do. We're going cover page 75 where we missed and then step six and seven and then eight and dive into some immense stuff today. Okay, so stop sharing. All right, beautiful. Thank you for your patience. Here we go. So page 75 top four paragraph it says when we did that last week when we decided who is to hear our story we waste no time we have in this inventory and are prepared for a long talk we explain to our partner what we are about to do and why we have to do it he should realize that we are engaged upon a life and death errand most people approach in this way will be glad to help they'll be honored for with our confidence okay so as for the notes in this in the notes that i that i just put up at this time i book a time with the person i make sure i have three to five hours time right um i don't um i've stopped booking 10 hours you know i stopped doing that but that's just weird you know it's up to you um and if let's say if uh and i stop telling god how long the session should take and how we should go i just start to go by the spirit okay and then let's see at the first step five session it just doesn't get finished in the first session no problem we book another time as as soon as we can. We don't put it off too far, as soonas we can, we just keep going like that, okay? Now, fifth step is finished, okay, as for the notes that we have, fifth step has finished. Then we go through this, we park in our pride and go to it, illuminating every twisted character, every dark cranny of the past, okay. Circle, dark crany. if you put a line going up in that space in between the two paragraphs going up and that's basically please write this in quotation mark please write this is there anything you've left them is there anything you left out so now um again to each their own right please do as the spirit moves you there are men and women that i know that start with that question right off the bat no problem beautiful if that's what's moved you right um i usually do it at the end which is just what what moves me unless spirit guides me differently so by the end of this the the person has awakened uh self has let go of the bondage a little bit. The person can breathe, right? And what I do is, is anything that you left out, what I always do is I share some of my dark crannies, the stuff that I want to take to my grave. See, because I was told in this program that I'm as only sick as my secrets. I've experienced that in this problem. The secrets that I think I'm sweeping under the carpet, alcoholism is cunning, baffling and powerful it knows my secrets it knows my secrets so what i usually share with them is what my original sponsor did with me and every single sponsor after that is what happened to me when i was uh eight years old that i was molested by two 15 year old boys um and i shared with them that it wasn't violence it wasn t a rape i was coerced i was 8 years old what happened happened and i would and i felt like so guilty and dirty afterwards because a part of me was felt violated but if i didn't know i didn's use that word as a kid but a part of me liked it so i was confused i'm like gay does this mean i'm gay nothing wrong with being gay i'm not but that's that was my thinking at that time right is there something wrong with me i liked it right so i share that and a couple other things a couple of other things i always do that because the men that took the time to do this with me they were generous to share their dark crannies with me to show me that it's okay it's a game we've all been through there's nothing that that that's not that you've been through that that you have going that you're going through that you have gone through that somebody in alcoholic synonymous hasn't right that we can heal so that's what i usually share um and then the person shares what they are they do or they're not they don't i never force the issue ever sometimes men have said to me that i gotta um i'm not comfortable no problem brother we just keep going some people want to keep that part of it to share with the ordained minister or priest or somebody ordained in their religion or pal good for you god bless you dark granular past man there's such freedom in that there is such freedom and that because the the darkest valleys the darkest experience of my past become my biggest assets today nothing has a to me how beautiful that is absolutely nothing has a hold of me today in this moment that i cannot be transparent with you guys about nothing there is i am wealthy because of that i am free because of not i am present to this power because of that because i can fully be whoever i am broken and all because i'm because god is using me to be useful because the point of my life is no longer looking good and sounding good what you think about me most of the time it's alive and well sometimes cutting back on your mind it's no longer happiness most ofthe time it is usefulness everything we do in this program is about usefulness every prayer is somehow about usefulness every step leads to the 12th step which is usefulness grab the yellow please once we have taken this step withholding nothing important once we take this step with withholding nothing please circle with pen withholding nothing we want to make it stand out more withholding nothing. We want to make this stand out more. Okay, that's yellow. After you finish that, please grab the pink promises now. The rest of this paragraph are the step five promises. We could categorize it that way. Okay. So ready? Highlight everything in pink. The rest set paragraph from we are delighted to spare the universe in pink, please highlight everything with pink. And then when you do that, grab your pen, and I'm going to we're going to read it I'm going to put question marks so what I do is after that's done after the dot tiny share then I go through this I continue with the big book with a new person with the sponsee and then we highlight and then we put we turn statements into questions and I ask them have you are you experiencing any of this to any degree right now right so let's do it together okay so you've highlighted already in pink from we are delighted to the end of the paragraph grab the pen now we are delighted question mark are you experiencing that at all i asked them right we can look the world in the eye question mark after i we can be alone at perfect peace and ease question mark i don't know about perfect peace of knees are you a little bit more comfortable on your skin yeah a little okay good our fears fall from us question mark yeah they've begun to fall from me i feel lighter we begin to feel the nearness of our creator question mark we may have had certain spiritual beliefs but now we begin to have a spiritual experience question mark the feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly question mark so i'm not going to unpack every single one right but ask we feel that we are on the broad highway walking hand in hand with the spirit of the universe question mark do you feel like you're plugged in a little bit more right question one so that's what i asked them okay and then by the way if someone says oh i'm not where does this meet you to any degree yeah can you spancy a littlebit but see don't worry because these promises and many others, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. What happens is that sometimes these promises start to get magnified and deepen as I continue with the rest of the steps. Don't get so stuck up on rigidity. If I don't get this now to this thing, no, no. It's a God view. It's okay. So if you now please turn the book counterclockwise from the right margin is facing you and then the length of this paragraph where the promises are highlight please just write step five promises step five premises these are some pretty good step five promises fifth step promises step 5 promises okay and then we go back to the big book now grab the yellow highlighter please returning home and then i do that with them and then next i give them directions there's another part to the fifth step that one part is god with another human being right i bear my soul and the other part is i take everything i've done i go back with god okay highlighting yellow please returning home we find a place where we can be quiet for an hour carefully reviewing what we have done highlight that in yellow important grab the pen please circle what you just highlighted second line for an hour i'm gonna i'm joking when i say this it doesn't say 68 minutes it doesn' t say 90 minutes it does'nt say 20 minutes or 58 minutes it's a i'm jokin about what i said for an hour about an hour not 10 minutes and not three hours an hour okay all right so what i do is what i suggest they do is see discipline is the horse that i ride on mark houston used to say that any spiritual practice requires discipline any spiritual practice discipline is so so important practice building a practice is so important not in terms of rigidity i must always do this no no at the beginning i must have a set sort of practices that i try to adhere to and live up to the commitment that i made to the best of my ability So a habit forms, so a practice forms. Truth needs a container to be contained in. Truth, cup of truth, it needs a contain. The container is my discipline and my practices. And I heard another beautiful spiritual say this. So what he said was that after some time, sometime, he doesn't know when, but he found that after some time he found out that container, all of a sudden it just is not as needed and it becomes so broad and roomy. Truth is everywhere all the time. But I do need a container at times, you know? I don't know if that analogy made sense. It sure, it definitely won't make as much sense so that people listen to a recording because I was holding a cup with water in it and you guys didn't see that. So, okay. So now for an hour, carefully reviewing what we have done. Pre-circle reviewing. Pre- circle reviewing. Okay. Now put an asterisk right to the right of that circle. Put brackets around that asterisks or that star, whatever you call it. Okay. Bring that aesterisk down to the bottom margin to the top left of the bottom margin because we need room to write a little bit, okay? So it means when you see the asterisk, you come read the notes. You come to read the footnotes, okay. Please write review. Asterisk brackets, right to the right of that please write review, put a colon after that, okay To the right of the colon, one circle, number one circle. First line is please write small. We're going to write three things, one, two and three. Number one, this I do everything in short form okay r dash inv dot resentment inventory that's what it means r dash r i n v dot resentment directory okay fourth four th fourth col column that's just how I do it only okay so resentment inventory fourth column only so first I'm reviewing resentment inventory forth column only in my review what I'm going to review I don't want review all the egos babblings in the second column they become lies i've become free of them in my review with god i'm only revealing the fourth column of every single resentment inventory okay number two below number one number two f dash i n v dot fear inventory that's what it means for fear inventory all fear inventory all and then period put emphasis last question emphasize last question emphasize last question so when I review the fear inventory I review all the answers and questions I put an emphasis on the last question which is what would God have me be what would who would God had me be what would god have me do that question the answers to that you put an emphasis on that in my review which means i sit with that a little bit number three below number two s dash inv dot sex inventory all so you all the sex inventories all the questions and answers period emphasize last question just like the pyramid for it just like if you're on twitter sex inventory all emphasize last question the last question of the sex inventory is what should i have done instead What should I have done instead? What should I have done instead, okay? So now let's go back to that. Returning home, so once the directions are given, it's so simple. It's like this beautiful book is so beautiful, sacred, powerful, incredible for its simplicity. all good most good ideas are simple it's like spirituality color by number for someone like me yeah it's so powerful right so i just literally read this and i do exactly what it says line by line i swear to god so simple okay so returning home we find the place where we can find for an hour reviewing what we've done okay i read the whole thing and then i do the notes in it we thank god from the bottom of my heart that we know him better so i literally thank you god from bottom of my heart that i know you better so why do i know god better because i feel more peace that's the god experience oh just oh just meditating and a roomy poem that i've read many many many many many times in the past has hit me and i shared it on facebook today it was here here where is it here we go a couple of lines your task is not to seek for love but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it that's what we just did together in the inventory i keep seeking this love experience this god experience but you showed me uh-uh kid it's inside you deep down it's been blocked by pomp worship of other things that that calamity but at this stage right now ah thank you god for letting me know you better let me say that prayer take taking this book down from our shelf we turn out to the page turn to the piece which contains the 12 steps i some people tell me they literally put on shop put it down i don't do that right so the page is page 59 right it says i go to page 59 at the beginning of hours right carefully reading the first five proposals that's the first five steps and ask if we have omitted anything so i asked myself i read step one is that my experience have i made anything i see step two every step three and step four and five i read them but i i'm going to review them basically in the review asterisk notes that we get right so i do my review of all the inventories in my review it's 60 minutes right so I review I'm going to share okay so I'm in prayer I'm silence I'm prayer I am in contemplation the words read me I don't read the words I don' t know if that makes sense I'm reading them but the words are reading allowed to wash over me sometimes spirit says stop sit what a gift i didn't have worth it and i pray if a prayer comes in my head i do it i'm building relationship with god when all of this finishes i'm sitting in silence i'm sitting inside this i have my timer remember remember i have my timer so i have to worry i turn my phone around it will tell me when it's done it'll tell me it's time it's a beautiful practice for an hour okay so carefully reading the first five okay four five we ask if we have omitted anything comma four in pink now promised we are building we are in print promise we are building an art through which we shall walk a free man at last we shall walk a female at last that's in pink no more pink promise promise right if they ask some questions that i ask myself is my work solid so far not perfection have i done the best that i can from where i am like in my heart i know right in my heart i'm not anyone else to judge between me and god are the stones properly in place all you need at this point although i tell the new man it's just another version of asking that i do my best right there are big book studies and i've done in the past myself where you can unpack the stones of what bill wilson means by each other we don't need to do that remember we're moving with laser-like precision here we're trying to give an experience not knowledge right so this stone's probably in place but have we skimmed on the cement put into the foundation have i cut corners in any way i don't have to be perfect have we tried to make mortar without sand again have i cut corners right i think how you make uh how you may cement as mortar sand and water or something have i skipped you know that's all we don't need to go deep on practice not i don't think so not for an experience for knowledge maybe it's beautiful okay so that's an hour i give the sponsor that direction but you'll see in the notes the big book directions and the step six and seven directions they do it by themselves step six and seven okay so after an hour flip the page please okay so they go home i give them this direction i give him six and seventh direction they go home they do an hour now flip the pages page 76 okay if we can answer to our satisfaction why did the last few questions right then i cut corners As I do my advice, after an hour, right? Contemplate and pray. Then we look at step six. We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable. Okay? Please circle step six, circle it with pen, and then grab your yellow highlighter. Please highlight what you just circled and the rest of the line, please. So highlight step six we have emphasized readiness as being dispensable. circle that please are we now ready to let god no more no more highlighting it are we i mean how many highlight that so step six and then highlighting yellow we have step six we have emphasized on this as being indispensable that's a yellow highlight no more are we not ready to like god remove from us all the things which we have admitted objectionable put a circle around things please and then put an arrow up to the top margin please write character defects what things are they talking about the defects of character that i've invented i've seen the objectionable i see my real problem is i see where it is i see why i'm really disturbed nothing to do with you that was an illusion i was in a prison of my happiness lies with you today i'm free it's within me my defensive character that come to my rescue when I'm afraid the judgment and the self-righteousness and I'm the better than less than expecting you to be something different than you are for my just so uncomfortable in my own skin my argumentative nature my need for approval my need to be admired my no not my need my need feel like I'm special because if you treat me normal i feel less than i heard that from somebody else by the way it's so true if you treat me like normal and i'm in my disease i feel lester i need to be treated special i'm just telling you guys truth right now this is not made up i'm telling you that's true in my in my disease that is not when i'm plugged in i just i'm grateful for you i feel just like no better that no less than you know i love you like a spiritual kind of love we know what we're talking about not a romantic love it's a spiritual kind of love patience and tolerance he's just having a bad day that's okay don't take that personally remember when you did to other that to other people give him love give him distance for a while let him figure it out go back give him luck are we now ready to let god remove from us all the things that we have admitted objection was a question mark after so that means when we're not step six i let the sponsor you know you turn statements into questions that's how you do excuse me please forgive me that's why you do your step six ask for the big book okay So are these defects of character? Remember, I made a list of them. I made the list of directions in the big book directions and then I gave them at the end. I gave it to the sponsee. They had the page, defects of characters, they wrote it all down. These as you're reviewing, are they objectionable? Are these objectionable to me? Because they have to be. I have to ready. No, I don't have to do anything. if i want to move forward there's got to be some semblance of readiness and these are objections why i don't want to be like this city or some level at least right so can he now can he god can now take them all everyone i asked myself that grab the pink please the last sentence is a prayer if if we pink if we still cling to something we will not let go we ask god to help us be willing if we stop if we still cling on something we will not like oh yes it's a prayer look it doesn't say if i'm like man i don't know about i don' know that that sarcasm thing works for me sometimes people need to hear it they need to find i'm holding on a little bit to it right i've seen i've become free i've see that it's blocking me it's maybe not the best thing look it doesnt say here stop and go take a month and then become ready it doesn t say that does it i say a prayer and i move forward let's hope to god i bring a mustard seed of willingness apparently people that have done research i just steal things from others that do the work okay they tell me that the mustard seed is one of the smallest seeds that we have but it grows so tall mustard seeded willingness not perfection i say pray and i move on that's my step six is done how long does it take i don't know one minute two minutes five minutes ten minutes it's between you and god i do an hour i do my step sixth right look now the next paragraph when ready we say something like this grab the pink highlighter highlight the prayer only together my creator i am now willing that you've been pink my creator i am now learning that you should have all of me good and bad i pray that you now remove from me every single defective character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you my fellows grant me strength as i go out from here to do your bidding amen amen that's all in pink don prince god bless his soul with such a huge influence on my latest recordings i never got the pleasure of meeting him i listened to one of his step studies he was saying that he believes it was revealed to him that this from three to seven is one spiritual movement that's an amen indicates end of a prayer end of the spiritual movement how there's no amen at the end of third because because four and five are the legs of three right and then seven is like oh man that spiritual movement is finished just just a side note i wouldn't share this with the sponsors by the way i remember i was telling you guys like it's spirit invokes certain conversations in a group that it doesn't invoke one-on-one so a lot of things i wouldn't show one-to-one it's just we're just moving forward for the experience not for the knowledge with a new person okay so now so now my career i do break it down just like i do break down the step three prayer for that for the new person or for anyone that's recommitting to this work my creator because we're looking at it with a new pair of glasses my creator i am now willing that you should have all of me good and bad all of need all the things that i think are objectionable and all the thinks all the assets that i have so the big book doesn't tell me to list assets say not at this point in time later on in the step 11 review at night it does what have contributed to life it does not right now okay so all of me good and bad i pray that you now remove from me every single defective character okay hold on to that okay i promise you the remainder of this sentence is not that that everything removed from every single detective character that stops me from jumping for joy and being happy all the time that stops me from uh from getting the flow of finances from the universe so i can build a bank account so i could be in a happy marriage so i can be a speaker seeker so you could so i can drive a nice car so i can put on some muscle and look good so i get this degree it doesn't say any of that there's any of that so my father with alzheimer's doesn't experience the pain that he has been so he lives at peace so he doesn't pass away before he says his grandkids grew up a little bit does it even say that there's nothing wrong with wishing that or praying about that at all God doesn't make too hard times it's on my heart but it doesn't say that you know what it does say I pray that you now remove from me every single defective character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows usefulness happiness is a byproduct of usefulness you guys have put aside whatever you got important engagements and meetings and you know whatever you've had to put aside to make this happen every saturday to come show up usefulness that's what it looks like i don't know what's going on in your lives i don't take it for granted that you're here i'm not here to teach anybody anything usefulness i am here with two hours of sleep after the episode we had with our baby last night usefulness I made a commitment to this power back in the third step I have a beautiful life today because of desire to be useful this this workshop is about usefulness we're 10 weeks in we're still getting the numbers that we are because there are a bunch of seekers that understand that this life is about usefulness the god experience is in usefulness not happiness man that's a dead-end street for me has been anyways for me it has been anyway maybe for someone else is different yeah you can be sure i don't take this long on this paragraph with the new person maybe sometimes i do grant me strength as i go out from here to do your bidding remember in the third step i made a promise them i made it deal with them it's a reminder here now i want to do you're bidding that's all i do amen amen if you grab the yellow highlighter please highlight we have then completed step seven we have then completed steps seven please circle step seven you highlight a yellow circle and make it stand out please please put an asterisk to the right of the circle put brackets around that asterisks some notes here please turn the book clockwise 90 degrees so the right margin is facing you please begin your writing where this paragraph ends we have nine with it where it ends so don't go to the bottom of the page right where it lands as high as you can put the asterisk for brackets and we're going to write towards the top of the pitch i've written small and i have three or four lines that i've written for what we're going to write okay i'm going to read you the whole thing and i'm gonna reread it and read it so you can know how much space you need to you know give it and then i'll reread here is where i see god start to work comma as i get out of the way period i work the remaining steps and god works on my character defects period you ready here is where i say god start the work comma please write small it's going to be three four lines hit it where you can here is where I see God start to work comma as I get out of the way I start to get out of the away I'm the one who's been in the way I gotta let God be God I've been assigning him a role and you guys roles I gotta stay in my lane the actor the agent the child the boy here is what I see god start to work as i get out of the way period last sentence i work the remaining steps and god works on my defects of character that may be a new spiritual concept to some friends but it's deep i work for the remaining staffs and god works some might defects of characters or character defects here is where I see God start to work as I get out of the way period I work the remaining steps and God works on my defects of character thank you Kristen so much okay so I'm going to just share my experience please like I always like you know man I just like you knows when we share about transformation and our experiences like you now I get passionate I really do sometimes. It just comes, right? And I just want to make sure. I always want to be sure to say this from time to time. Please don't ever mistake that passion as a direction that if you have been doing something different, that is wrong, that is no at all. This is my experience and I'm sharing it with you, right. I hope that just in the spirit of the set aside prayer, we can set aside everything else and just become open to something new perhaps. Try it for a while. and if you see that no you like the other way better pick it up again throw this one away no problem okay so here's the thing the big book only has two paragraphs on six and seven because there's not much for me to do on six or seven i have a readiness and a willingness i review my defects of character i see what objectionable i scatter my knees and i pray that's why it says after that prayer we have then completed step seven there's nothing else for me to do in fact i gotta get out of the way i don't now take this list of defects of character put a pause on the spiritual movement on these steps and for one month i'm gonna go go to a lot of meetings i'm going to work on honesty i'm not going to tell them the truth that's not what it says to me i work the remaining steps and god does what he does with my defects of character because maybe some defects of characters he needs to keep around for a little while because i need to grow a little bit more because he knows that little pain gets my attention it makes me more humble so i can become a better messenger because maybe some defects to character in his eyes are going to become assets case in point okay remember i told you i need to feel special for me to feel normal i have a need for approval okay look at what god has me doing speaking here and there and conferences and right i'm sharing with you honestly but here's difference though with god in charge i don't have a need for it like if i don'T get it oh my god no i'M NOT attached to it but god is using that thing inside of me to be a servant very humbly as humbly and when i veer off of that it becomes painful i hope that makes sense right god uses my defense the way he does none of my business i'm not telling god in the seventh step okay you're going to remove this this and this and hold on in fact i'm going to work i'm gonna work on it myself and it doesn't say that at all. That's why the big book has two paragraphs, that's all. That's all, folks, right? So now, obviously, I have to cooperate in this. I have to have awakened to a point that I want to try to be honest, obviously. Like that's a given, you know what I mean? I'm not going to go start to be dishonest up on that, you know, maliciously. No, I want to be a better person, but I work the rest of the steps and as I work the rest of the steps. He removes my defensive character. He tweaks what he needs. He uses me like an instrument of his peace, of his love, none of my business. I just show up and I have a desire to be useful. That's it. Some friends go to the 12 and 12 at this stage for six and seven. Beautiful. If it was working for you, keep doing it. Nothing wrong with that. Step six and seven, 12 and twelve. Bill wrote beautifully, really on path six and seventh. Beautifully knowledge-based very beautiful nothing wrong with that if someone wants to as you're moving through immense someone wants go cover those chapters just read those chapters and come back beautiful if that was keep going i haven't doesn't mean it's not it's by the way the 12 and 12 i have read after my big book experience and then it becomes useful to me before that some chapters are very confusing to me for me for me i'm not going to go the history of that at all right for me it just i want to stay out of that 12 was a tool that was given to us bill wilson and the essays this the steps in the twelve and twelve are essays understand on the steps essays beautiful i read them afterwards i contemplate i get stuff from the he does such a beautiful start job on step 11 the essay and step 11 man i take some stuff into meditation profound experience i've had with that chapter but not instead of the step 11 chapter in the big book filled with direction filled with promises not instead enough in addition to afterwards. I've read many history books, many archive letters on AA and all that kind of stuff. And by the way, if some of our friends, if you haven't read that, that's one way to deepen your experience with this program, to know where we come from. Man, it just deepens the roots you know for me right it's beautiful right appreciation humility okay um there's a beautiful book um i don't think it's approved but it's what is it the soul of sponsorship beautiful book about doctor about bill wilson and father at dowling who he called his spiritual advisor in quotation mark sponsor towards a very beautiful father that he was a non-alcoholic beautiful in that he writes in quotation his own writing i'm going to paraphrase now the main reason i wrote the 12 and 12 was for the traditions so people would buy the traditions because aaa was dying that doesn't make the essays not useful very useful in addition to not instead of that's been my experience i'm just sharing my experience okay Okay. You guys will see more of what I'm talking about when we go to the step 10, that the difference of in the big book of the 12 and 12 is step four and five and step eight. It's just, yeah. So anyways, forget that. Please forgive me. Okay. So it just had to, so we have completed step seven. If now, okay. Now if you turn the book counterclockwise 90 degrees on the right margin is facing you so the length of the step seven prayer paragraph please write step seven in prayer let's just write it for the new person right they need to pass it on so they need to pass it on someone else with you step seven step seven okay perfect now here we go it's all done right so you will see again in the big book direction is very simple so this we give our directions up to step seven they go home they do their thing right the next time we get on the zoom call we get on the phone we meet face to face we're doing we're doing this right step eight please circle now we need more action please circle that in the next in the next paragraph now we need more action now we need more action beautiful notice how this beautiful book it's just so beautifully written man it was inspired like there's another messenger that i truly admire and i respect a lot this messenger it is this person's belief that the big book you know was okay forget about this person okay in general there's a belief in the a there's an angle at which people look at the big book in ways it was written by the human being bill wilson that's not my belief that's not my experience that human being could have written bad book not possible couldn't start writing that book after six months or whatever however long it's over here right at three and a half four and a half years they started to write it he could have been that book was inspired written in spirit that's what that means through the spirit tapped into the knowing all-knowing all-powerful the same place where the beautiful poetry that we love comes from the beautiful songs that move mountains right move our hearts come from the beautiful artwork that we're just in awe of from that same place from the knowing it was inspired and this beautiful book has a sort of sort of a loosely speaking a format it follows here's a problem do you relate to that here's a set of actions here are some promises do you want to keep and enhance these promises keep going faithful that works is dead now there's more action some version of that right it doesn't stop here we have this that we have then completed step seven now we need more action okay so immediately after step seven the next time we're sitting down right so knowing more action without which we find that here we go in yellow faith without works is that faith without worse is that the relationship with God that I have deepened up to the seventh step is going to die on me if I don't continue in the eighth and ninth step. I don' t take my time in this. The spirit guides are my sponsor guides, but I don''t have it. Faith without worse is dead in yellow. No more yellow. Let's look at eight and nine, steps eight and five. Steps eight and seven. Please highlight steps eight or nine in yellow and please circle steps eight of nine. by the way it looks like again we're not going to have time for q a within our allotted time i'm going to stay for an hour okay afterwards so anyone has any questions or comments i'll be here with you guys thank you um steps okay so we did eight and nine right so we circled steps eight from your circle eight and five um from your cycle eight and night okay you gotta if you put please um okay how do i describe this okay from the circle on the left side staying as close you can to the writing in the paragraph on the last page of the paragraph please put a line down towards the bottom margin stop that line where the paragraph ends and then put a line to the right. Put an arrow, okay? So we're going to start writing so something like this, something like that. Can you spotlight me? Please and thank you. See that? Put a line down and up. So I'm going to write across. I'll write across, okay, like this okay so span span of the that paragraph step a paragraph please write this just the span of that okay i will experience the miracles of six and seven comma in the actions of eight and nine period i will experienced the miracles of six and seven karma like step six and seven i will experience the miracles of six and seven comma in the actions of eight and nine as i pick up the phone and knock on the door and and take those actions i sooner not take to make those demands that are really embarrassing and difficult perhaps or if i don't think they've harmed me what doesn't matter as i do that god works on my defects of character i I experienced usefulness. I started to experience peace and freedom from the bondage of self of those two 15-year-old kids that molested me, from the beatings of an addicted father. I started feel peace and I started feeling my own skin. Everything that I've been looking for my entire life in you And in the external, to give me self-esteem, everything in the third dimension, self-help books that are useful. I'm not saying they're not, but by themselves for me, they're a death sentence if that's all I'm doing. So fix the outside, learn more, meditate more only by itself, okay? Work out more, accomplish more, and then you will have self-esteem. Wrong. Not in the spiritual realm. In this realm, common sense becomes uncommon sense. In this round what you guys have taught me that you want to get self-esteem, start correcting the harms you've done others. Make those rain. Start to do that. That's how you get self esteem. You want to love yourself. Stop being loving towards others. That is how you start love yourself i start to fit in my own skin because my self-esteem today more time most time not all okay my selfishness today is rooted in this power not in you what you think about me more times than not i get to be free to be me quirky and all ugly on the outside inside sometimes broken and all oh well now the bulls on the bus always says oh wow life is fun this way isn't it just to be you self-esteem comes from the first set of steps the first status steps with all the steps prepare me for my assignments they're not in a they're They're not an ends in themselves. No step can be taken out of context in a vacuum, the spiritual movement and not an end in itself. The first seven steps have prepared me for this eighth step, which prepare me for the ninth step, which is the first set of freedom that I start to get. That's why there's such big promises in the ninth stem because the first step that actually start go out there start to do for God's other kids, okay? Again, when I'm with a new person, I don't go on these tangents, but I'm sticking to this. Okay, so here we go. We have a list of all persons. Circle all. All. Not the ones I just want to and ready for. All, circle the word all. We have lists of all the persons we have harmed and to whom we are willing to make amends. We made it when we took inventory. We talked about this last week a little bit. We made up when we talk inventory, we subjected ourselves to a drastic self-reprasal. Now we go out to our fellows and repair the damage done in the past. We intend to sweep away the way the debris which has accumulated out of our effort to live on self-will and run the show, run the shore ourselves. If we haven't the will to do this, we ask until it comes. Grab the yellow please. highlighting yellow the remainder of this paragraph super important remember was agreed at the beginning we will go to any lengths for victory over alcohol do you remember that ali oh yeah i signed a contract at the end of big book it asked me again at the begining of how it works there's three places in this big book big book tacticians please you can feel free to correct me after. In the first 164 pages, I believe there's three places where they say that. Well, we signed a contract together, but other than that, there's two places. One is the beginning of how it works. This is the second part. Remember, it was agreed at the beginning, we would go to any lengths for victory or outcome. Please circle with pen to make it stand out more. Go to any length. Go through any length by the way. It's not by accident that bill wilson was inspired to put this at the eighth step and the next time he puts this spiritual truth is somewhere else in the ninth step pages again he revisits that remember at any length it says something to me eh for me i can't do this on my own i need god in this deal it's not gonna be comfortable all the time it's supposed to be okay so just quickly excuse me i think this is a i just i wrote this in the step big book directions that that we're emailing out But so how do I make a step A list? Well, they told me in this paragraph, they told me, first of all, they say all. And then they said we made this list when we took inventory, right? So basically, I transfer this all written in the directions. I transfer every single name from every single resentment inventory onto a master list, onto a step B list. And then I transfer any fears. If there's any names that popped out of the fear inventories, I transferred them. If there is any names out of sex inventories anything around the person, I transfer them i don't double up the names just one time right and so then i have my stuffing list and then after the transfer i sit and pray and i ask god god is there any other person that i've found that didn't make that list and i say i may need to sit for a couple of days i don' t know like not 48 hour street but you know a couple years here and there right and god will reveal to me and more is revealed too i don''t need to you know it's not exhaustive and more has revealed as i do this a few years down the road things will reveal to me oh that person i forgot about that person okay perfect so stepping one paragraph let's move forward probably there are still still some excuse me still some misgivings as we look over the list of business acquaintances and friends we have heard we may feel diffident someone looked that up my memory is bad i think that means shy or reluctant i think someone looked at out we should put the thing on please if you don't mind definitely probably there are still some misgiving as we look over the list of business acquaintances and friends we have heard we may feel diffident about going to them on a spiritual basis let us be reassured to some people we need that and probably should not emphasize the spiritual feature on our first approach okay they're gonna talk about this a little bit so now at that we're gonna at the bottom paragraph please write small we're going to define immense i'm going to defy a little bit just to make it a little bit more clear for the new person okay and for me so bottom margin top of the bottom top left of the bottom margin right small please write amen put a colon remember right small 92 three lines short forms where you can to formally compensate others to formally compensate others for the harm I caused, comma, to formally compensate others for their harm I cause, comma. With a sincere desire to correct my behavior, period. There's one more bullet point, eh? One small sentence after that. So just so you know, that's good. to formally compensate others for the harm i caused comma with the sincere desire to correct my behavior not to just compensate them with the money and you know there's a way to compensate they talk about it later right to correct my harms but i'm gonna have a desire to be different and the desire to right to create my behavior in the future right to formally compensate others with for the heart might cause with a sincere desire Thank you, Kristen. To correct my behavior, period. And then this there's a bullet point below that small sentence to make right to make right my wrongs. That's even shorter and more succinct, basically to make write my wrongS, but in the way above to make right my wrongs to me right my world to make right my own it's a beautiful okay so now i'm starting at the bottom 76 i'm rereading the last sentence to some people we need that and probably should not emphasize a spiritual feature on our first approach but top of page 77 we might prejudice them at the moment we are trying to put our lives in order but this is not an end in itself. Highlight in yellow, our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us. Our real purpose istofitourselvestobeofmaximumservice to God and thepeopleaboutus. That's yellow. With pen, please circle our realpurpose. Okay? Please circle that. So there are a few yellow highlights that in my heart, they are so super, super, super, super important. And they all basically point to the same thing that in addition to the yellow highlight, I suggest on either side of the paragraph where you highlighted yellow, put a nice asterisk on either site. I have a real purpose. First of all, in the immense process, it's not for me to be happy is not to get forgiveness from them. Doesn't mean I don't until i do but that's not the purpose is to fit myself to be of maximum service to god and people about me i made amends that they told me they don't want to see anymore see me anymore thank you for doing this had enough of you don't trust you thank you for allowing me this opportunity two years later i've been given a call that my brother's an alcoholic i don't know what to do Our real purpose is to fit ourselves, to be of maximum service to God above, not to be happy. Oh, I met the ambassador and it didn't go my way. OK, I'm making fun of me, by the way. They were angry with me. Oh really? Oh, let's go back to this. Is your purpose in making amends to be forgiven and to be happy every single amends has to make you feel good? is that what you're doing ali usefulness not happiness okay by the way that truth is not just in man's process it's given to me in the men's process absolutely it's in my life that's what i take on i have a real purpose it is seldom yellow it is southern wise to approach an individual who still smarts hurts from our injustice to him and announce that we have gone religious in the prize ring this will be called leading with the chin why lay ourselves open to being branded as fanatics or religious wars we may care future kill a future opportunity to carry a beneficial message it's such a beautiful like i love these immense pages just like everything in this big book man it's just inspired it covers every as we go through the rest of the image pages today and next week it covers i think every possible angle of potential immense gentleman that i could that i can face right one of them is like my approach i don't go there talking about i found god whatever the point is not to show them how spiritual i am now in fact in some cases it may arise their prejudices and they're gonna their mind their ears are going to close shut they're not going to hear what i'm trying to say okay in yellow now the rest of paragraph important here's important but in yellow the rest the paragraph but our man is sure to be impressed with a sincere desire to to set right the wrong continuing yellow he's going to be more interested in a demonstration of goodwill than our talk of spiritual discoveries what does the saying go your actions are sold they scream at me so loud i can't hear a word you're saying that's what i'm there for to do set right the harms that i've done and there's a process to do that by the way okay no more yellow we don't use this as an excuse for shying away from the subject of god when it will serve any good purpose we are willing to announce our convictions with tact and common sense the question the highlighting yellow got the yellow highlighter so i'm not going to unpack everything get pretty self-explanatory highlighting yellow the question of how to approach a man we hated will arise okay that's in yellow from what has been revealed to me not the truth my truth it was been revealed there is different general categories that they he they the spirit touches on in the amends and we're going to number them okay so to the right of what you just highlighted and right margin please put the number one question sorry number one and circle it okay so the first general category is how to approach a man i hate it they're going give me some advice on this one okay no more yellow and maybe he has done us more harm than we have done him and though we may have acquired a better attitude toward him we are still not too keen about admitting our faults. Nevertheless, with that person we dislike, we take the bit in our teeth. Did you hear what they just said? Okay. What they didn't tell me is, Ali, you are not to make this amends until you become free. Totally 100% free of them. They didn't tell me that. Look at what they said. Nevertheless with a person like this, we dislike. We take the in our teeth i got a better attitude but i still think you saw me more don't matter man you're walking with god now you have a maximum usefulness now so you have real purpose now excuse me in pink in pink promise it is harder to go to an enemy than to a friend but we find it much more beneficial to us man is it so much more free trying to go after those high-hanging fruit the low-hanged food is my mother who's always loved me who always loved and i started with her why not the difficulty that the freedom comes from those high hanging fruits if not immediately in the process of this life of this path of these steps it is harder to pink it's harder to go to an enemy than to a friend but if you find much more beneficial to us in yellow now in yellow not important we go to him with a helpful and forgiving spirit confessing our former ill feelings and expressing our regret that's in yellow okay so imagine by the way if dr bob how they passed this off with dr bob he would have told bill wilson after that relapse he had after the meeting we know when he went and drank and then he came back right and then they will give him some beer in the morning send them to do the surgery he had to do because financially they were going to go bankrupt and then bill and ann smith they were waiting in their house for dr bob he didn't show up till midnight they were scared that he drank he came back and he said i made all my events but obviously like they lived in one small town he was able to do that right but the point is that dr bob didn't wait until he had a better attitude to 100 free from everyone before he made those amends he would have drank that's not instruction in this book okay i'm saying this because i've heard this whatever works but i've hurt this decades of sobriety my sponsor has said i'm not allowed to make commands for 20 years because i still haven't been freed from and this person is there's something inside of them that's man clear-cut directions, inspired, freedom, freedom. Okay. In yellow, under no condition do we criticize such a person or argue. That's in yellow. So next week, by the way, I'm going to start with some step nine exact process that we're going to write notes on, okay? Just what my experience is and I want to share it with you. it's very powerful you probably have done it that way but like so yellow under no conditions we criticize such a person or argue that's the only thing in yellow and we're trying to finish this paragraph simply no more yellow simply we tell him that we will never get over drinking until we have done our utmost to straighten out the past we are there to sweep off our side of the street realizing that nothing worthwhile can be accomplished until we do so never trying to tell him what he should do so the only point in this big boat they they talk about my part your part not in the inventory process there's no my part your part of the inventory process is what are my mistakes i put out of my mind they don't even have a part when i'm in the fourth column right the only part is in the image they say my side of the street and that's received by my side history i'm walking with god here okay in yellow please his faults are not discussed we stick to our own in yellow important when i'm going to such a person i don't discuss their faults his faults are not discussed we speak to our own in pink please promise if our manner is calm frank and open we will be gratified with the results in nine cases out of ten the unexpected happens that's in pink and next week i'm hoping once we go through the amends i'm gonna get sharing from from our friends here from your specific experience with that. Certain amends, you know, I would love to hear some of that. In pink, if our manner is calm, frank and open, we'll be gratified with the results in nine cases out of ten that are expected happens. No more pink. Sometimes the man we are calling upon admits his own faults. So feuds of years standing melt away in a noun. Highlight in pink. Rarely, there's promises, rarely do we fail to make satisfactory progress. That's in pink. Oh, it's beautiful. I love it when I open the big book and I see all the prayers and promises. Rarely. No more pink, no more highlight. Our former enemies sometimes praise what we are doing and wish us well. Occasionally they offer assistance. In yellow, the rest of the paragraph important in yellow, and we're done for today. it should not matter however if someone does throw others out of his office or figuratively speaking i don't want to see whoever again get lost with right we have made our demonstration done our part this water over the dam i take the action the rest is up to god okay so next week we're going to give notes for the exact directions of how to make an ms how i've been taught to make an event right and then we're going through the rest of the advanced pages hopefully um So the way it looks, before we close off, I'll stay for questions and comments for an hour or so. The way it looked, again, I had a plan. I had my little plans and designs of 12 sessions. Looks like the spirit has his plans and desires. looks like by the 12th session we'll just cover step 10 we'll finish step 10 as i said i'm willing to stay further sessions um anyone that wants to stay with us for for the friends that don't and can't i get it you guys put like 12 i get no problem at all um no problem you guys can continue to uh you know talk to each other and help each other uh cover what was missed and perhaps this is a uh this is a good sign that because we're going over 12 sessions i think i'm definitely going to release all the recordings because some friends may not be able to make it but not but until later on okay perfect that's a sign let me play with okay thank you guys i appreciate you guys mickey love you guys mickeys can we please close and pray and then open it up so we can say our goodbyes to each other and then after we'll stay for q a thank you guys