Step 10 and 11 – Big Book Study – Part 2 of 3 – Joe H.

As I said, my name is Joe. I'm an alcoholic. I was told to start practicing Step 10 and 11 as soon as I started making amends. I also used what I could that I had learned from Step 10 or 11 from the very beginning. I mean, prayer was an important part of my sobriety before I got to Step 10. and 11. meditation was an important part of my sobriety before i got to step 10 and 11 and i tried to do that to the best of my ability i sometimes have a hard time saying that because i believe i was given more than my best ability all the way through this process because my best ability got me here um i did it with the amount of power i had at the time but to really practice step 10 and 11 I don't believe I had the awareness and I don't I have the power to really do what's in here on step 10 & 11 until I got step 10. And they told me to start practicing these two steps as soon as I started making amends. It says here that there's a thought that brings us to step 10 on page 84 after the promises and i think this that thought is that these will always materialize if we work for them and i once again had to resolve something within myself when i got to that question because that question brings up a part it brings up something in me that doesn't jive with my conception of God that I chose as the second step and that is do I have to work at this to earn these promises they will always materialize if we work for them that sounds like a condition like if we were to if we worked at this we get this and I had to once again say to myself that does not fit in with my conception of god because that's too that's too much like my old conception you have to earn these promises if you do this and I had to once again realize that they will always materialize if I work for them and I work with them and I worked for them to clear away the stuff that blocks me from his love that's been there all the time not to earn anything I mean this whole deal is an absolute gift and it's not about they will also materialize if I worked with them doing something to earn it I'm doing this work to clear away the stuff from what's been there all the time but I think that's the thought that brought me to step 10 these promises will materialize if I work for them and continue to clear way the stuff that blocks me from that power that's always been there and always loved me it's just all the garbage that I put between me and that and I think that's what step 10 and 11 are all about can I use everything that I've learned from the first 9 steps on a daily basis to continue with my life and to continue clearing away the debris I think everything that we've done from step 1 to 9 is encompassed in step 10 and 11 I guess my only warning that comes to mind right now from what i've learned about step 10 and 11 is that one of my greatest mistakes in the beginning was to see those two steps as one and that 10 kind of has everything that 11 has and 11 has kind of everything and i saw that it was kind of like one exercise and i really didn't start to benefit from step 10-11 until i saw that they were two separate steps for two or more separate things step 10 suggests that I continue to take personal inventory which tells me if they're saying continue I should continue to do inventory the way I did in step 4 now for me sometimes that's written and And sometimes I use the guides that are in here at step 11. If I find something is still gnawing at my craw at the end of a week and it's been there every night, I sometimes need to write about it. Some people take that statement literally and write daily 10-step inventory. I have no problem with that. I'm not that well disciplined yet to write a written 10-stepp every night. The people I know that do that are sure very clear and they don't seem to get the accumulated garbage that I do. I would like to start learning how to do that and I guess when they say continue I would write a daily inventory the same way I did at step four resentments, fears everything they ask me to watch for here in this step and continue to set right any new mistakes as I go along this is the this next statement is the one that tells me to start doing this as soon as I start to make amends we vigorously commenced this way of living as we cleaned up the past and now a very very important statement for step 10 and I think this is the difference between trying to practice step 10 before I got to it and being able to practice step 10 when I got there having done the work in the first nine steps where it says we've entered the world of spirit now for a long time I thought that just meant enough was cleared away to be able to find that quiet place within I also see that that means step 10 is meant to be taken out into my life but I don't just see the world of the spirit out there anymore either I have tried to practice from step 10 and step 11 how to go to that place within once the stuff is cleared away that blocks me from it on a daily basis and then bring that out into the world into all my activities. I guess I hope that can go on for the rest of my life. The next statement tells me why I'm doing this step as they have probably since the fourth step or the third step. My next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code. I mean, there's so much in that one paragraph that you could go on forever, and I think that's what it says there. In the beginning, I learned the difference between asking God at once to remove those things and asking God to remove them at once. And I needed to be reminded that it doesn't say when one of those things crops up that I ask God to move them at all. It says to remove it at once it says that when one of those thing dishonesty selfishness resentment or fear when one of those things crops up I ask God at once to remove them there's a big difference there I have also learned in the last and experienced in the past in the last year the difference between watching and waiting thanks to the help of a lady in Denver when I was having some trouble with step 10 and we talked about what I did on a daily basis when one of those things cropped up dishonesty resentment selfishness or fear and i described to her what i did and it was pretty much what it said here except for a big difference it was like i was going through my day putting one foot in front of the other and doing what was in front of me waiting for one of those things to crop up like with some kind of a shield up in front of me, waiting for dishonesty and waiting for fear and waiting for selfishness and then when one of them would crop up i would like fight it and she reminded me of two things that we're no longer fighting anything or anyone including our own defects and that there's a difference between going through your day waiting for one of those things and going through you're watching for one of those things she says kind of like going through an intersection when the light's green and you're continuing on through the intersection with your life you don't stop at the green light and wait for some cars to come you go through you continue on you move through the intersection watching and to experience the difference between waiting and watching what made this step a lot lighter than it used to be and that's really the only way I can describe it So I look at the idea of what does it mean to grow in understanding and effectiveness. I hear a lot of people describe these next three steps as maintenance steps. And I'll tell you this, I would not want to maintain what I had the first time I went through the first nine steps because it's gotten so much better. I think these next 3 steps are about growth and daily maintenance. Maintain means keep things the same. I mean, I want to continue growing closer toward God. I want a growth in understanding and effectiveness. I guess understanding for me would cover every area of my life and the understanding that I pray for the knowledge of God's will on the 11th step and effectiveness would be out here in my life with others in whatever I'm doing friends, relationships, etc., etc. So I'm asked to continue to watch not wait for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. These things will crop up. I ask God at once to remove them, discuss them with someone immediately, make amends quickly if I have harmed anyone. And I think, well the truth is my experience has been that I don't always do that. It seems it's very easy for me to turn to God at one time And I do that pretty good and ask for it to be removed. But if I can move on through whatever that is that cropped up and go on with what I'm doing, I don't always have to stop and discuss it with somebody immediately. And the way I see if I'm going to do this or if I am doing that or not is if I Can Turn My Thoughts To Somebody That I Can Help. If a resentment crops up and I ask God at once to remove it and I can't turn and I think that's the key word here in this paragraph learning the techniques involved in turning from these things when they crop up. If I canít turn my thoughts to somebody thatís around somebody that I can help Iíve also learned from this lay thereís a big difference between somebody that you can help and somebody that YOU CAN HELP. And I guess that's probably for each of us to experience. I always thought that meant I had to search out somebody that I could help. What that means to me is that I can turn my thoughts to somebody that i can help. Does that mean leave work and go find a drunk that you can help? Then you're causing harm to your employer because he's got you hired to be there at work. I learned how to turn my life and turn my thought to somebody that I know that I want to help. If I can't do that, then I need to use the other techniques here. Discuss it with somebody. See where I'm at fault. Use the same technique from the fourth step. How have I brought this resentment on? Can I do anything about this fear? Where was I dishonest? How am I being selfish? Get clear with somebody, then go to God, and then I'll see that I can turn my thoughts to somebody I can help. These same people that have helped me with this step have also taught me when being new at this and I am to take certain ideas from these steps and center in on them for a certain period of time and I spent quite a period of time on this next statement that love and tolerance of others is our code to the point where I left a little mark or a little symbol somewhere so I could be reminded of that throughout the day as I went through the day along with the idea of watching for those things when they crop up and all of a sudden i had a new experience with that to where i wasn't um it wasn't so heavy and it wasn t so rigid and it was n t like i was fighting those defects when they came up and then having to learn how to turn back to love intolerance of others it was like i w as more centered on love and tolerance of others and i noticed when i started to turn away from that rather than constantly getting sucked up in the middle of a resentment or dishonesty or fear or selfishness and having to turn back to love and tolerance. It was a totally different experience. And now I think the next part is some of the greatest promises in this book and they're very seldom mentioned. These ten-step promises, the ones that happen when we enter the world of the Spirit. On the previous tape I described the promises as they were shared with me how a lot of those on page 83 and the top of page 84 happened when alcohol and drugs were working okay these are the promises that I never experienced because I've never lived in the world of the spirit we've ceased fighting anything or anyone even alcohol for by this time sanity will have returned what a promise that where alcohol is concerned sanity will return that's the promise from the second step that was the big bet a long time ago do I believe there's a power that can do that Now they're saying that that should have happened We'll sell them be interested in liquor They've tempted we recall from it is from a hot flame Who react sanely and normally and we will find that this has happened automatically We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us to get Without any thought or effort on our part and I want to say what do you mean without any thought effort on that part? I've done all this work, and I was reminded none of that work had to do with my attitude toward liquor. I didn't write inventory about my attitude towards liquor. I wrote inventory about resentment and fear and relationships and my work in amends. I never sat down and worked on my attitude about liquor, but it happened through this process with very little thought or effort on my part about my gratitude about liquor. It just comes. that's the miracle of it we're not fighting it neither are we avoiding temptation can I go into bars the ninth step told me I should be able to if my motives are right can I come into these places where people are drying out and they're still talking about the drugs and the alcohol to someone that still has an alcoholic mind that would be really gnawing that would really bother me when I was brand new see they tell me I should be able to do that I don't have to avoid temptation you know why? because I feel as though I've been placed in a position of neutrality safe and protected I haven't even sworn off instead the greatest promise of them all the problem has been removed the problem has been moved that's a miracle and if the problem's been removed there is no choice because the only time there's a choice is when there'sa problem in any area of my life to the most simplest thing every time I have to make a choice because there's a problem if the problem's been removed and I stay and I can blessed to stay in this 10 step place on a daily basis it's a daily reprieve I'm not saying I can't slip back into insanity but in this place that they're describing here there is no problem there is no choice it doesn't exist for us we are neither cocky nor are we afraid this is our experience this is how we react so long as we keep and fit spiritual conditions it has been easy for me to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on my laurels if I could say one thing that I really want to see change I hope in the next few years is that I don't have to keep going back through step 1 through 9 but I've had to because of my lack of commitment and discipline with Step 10 and 11. I believe there's everything I need in Step 10, 11, and 12 because it's all there from Step 1 through 9. I have not learned how to do that on a daily basis to where I don't end up with another big inventory and another list of amends back at the first step about every year and a half. and I've gone through the work this time from a different place and I'm in the middle of an inventory. No, it's not as long as the first one. And I did go through the Work This Time from a good place. I usually wait until everything falls apart right up against the wall. So maybe it is getting a little better. But I would like to believe from the people I've learned from that I don't have to continue to do that. It's easy to let up on the spiritual program of action rest on our laurels we are headed for trouble if we do for alcohol as a subtle foe we're not cured of alcoholism when i say that there is no choice or that i am a recovered alcoholic and i've recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body that doesn't mean that i'm cured and when i say like that you can get well in the program of alcoholics anonymous that doesn t mean cured we're not cured what we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all our activities that's another one of those statements in this step that I can take and look at for center in on for an extended period of time to have a new experience with that how can I best serve thee thy will not mine be done these are thoughts which must go with us constantly we can exercise our willpower along this line all we wish it is proper use of the will now there's some drastic statements in these last page and a half that are pretty different from what they told me at the beginning sanity will have returned the problem will be removed there's such a thing as proper use of the Will how can I best serve God thy will not mine be done proper use of the will is it serving God what I'm doing or is it my will much has already been said about receiving strength inspiration and direction from him who has all knowledge and power if we have carefully followed directions we have begun to sense the flow of his spirit into us To some extent we have become God conscious. We have begun to develop this vital sixth sense, but we must go further and that means more action. It seems like every time I got to one of these steps and there was a little bit of relief and I thought now I can stop for a little while and rest and relax, they always said and now there's more action! If I go back and I look in the directions in that first paragraph on page 84, I see that it sums up everything I've done. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. That's the same thing I did in the fourth step. Ask God to remove them at once. No, ask God at once to remove that. I'm sorry. That's what I did. That's why I didn't step six and seven. make amends if I've harmed anyone that's what I did in step 8 and 9 and here I am showing a way to do that on a daily basis once those big chunks of stuff are done in 1 through 9 now I get to learn how to do this I get a chance to do it on a day to day basis I get the chance to learn how to to get free to get unblocked to be able to continue I think probably that the first word in the tenth step the way it's written the written version that we mislead people with by having them think that what's up on the wall is the tenth steps taking these steps out of this book and putting them on the walls was a terrible thing to do because people think the directions for those steps are up onthe wall they're in this book and there's a whole lot more to step 10 than what's written on the wall but I think the first word in that 10th step continue that's what it's all about continuing with my life when I first read 10 and 11 off the wall I thought they were about continuing to do inventory continuing to make amends and prayer and meditation you see those are the directions and those are gyrations but I've learned that 10 and 11 are about being there for my life out here in the world you know can I do that I always thought step 11 was about what went on in meditation and prayer my God what step 11 is about is what goes on after I get out of meditation and off my knees growing in understanding and effectiveness in my life then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help and there I am at step 12 10 and 11 have once again shown me what to do to see the garbage ask for it to be removed get back to God and then be out here in the world to do His will to serve God there's a real hunger that comes in me when I see and experience the depth of Step 10. Because although it's only a page and a half, there's so much there. There's so many things. There's just so much here. And although some of the stuff they taught me about Step 10 was good when I was new, I don't have the kind of power to work Step 10 until I really get there through the first nine steps until I've entered the world of the Spirit because there's just too much there step 11 suggest prayer and meditation we shouldn't be shy on this matter of prayer better men than we are using it constantly it works if we have the proper attitude and work at it you know how long could you spend on what's the proper attitude I think they begin to talk about some of that the proper attitude of prayer in this step it would be easy to be vague about this matter yet we believe we can make some definite and valuable suggestions now they give me the nightly review and I do I try to I try to do this nightly review every night and I would say the greatest thing that's foremost in my right my mind right now is my experience with the nightly review a year or more ago and my experience with another review in the last year because I think I've touched on what they mean by constructively reviewing your day because for a long time the nightley review was very destructive and I would beat myself up for what a rotten terrible person I was during the day and that's not what they're asking me to do here. They're asking me to constructively review my day. How do you do that? When we retire at night we constructively view our day. Was I resentful? Selfish? Dishonest? Or afraid? Now what are the ideas that I take into my nightly review so I can do it in a constructive manner so I'm not beating myself up in a destructive way? One that's really helped me is when I answer those questions, where was I resentful? Where was I selfish? Where was i dishonest? Where was afraid? In reviewing that through the day, I ask, did it work? Not, was it right or wrong, good or bad. Did it work ? Does my selfishness work? Just being resentful work for me. Just being dishonest work. I heard a guy say one time that if any of us in Alcoholics Anonymous ever get to heaven, it'll be because we're backing away from hell. And I also have learned a lot from a lady who talks about that reviewing these defects, I don't think she really even likes to call them defects at the end of the day it's like imagining a boat on the shore and remembering that you have to have something to push off from and although I do not like my defects when they harm other people and I'm not using my defects to justify that I do NOT like to continue to cause harm but I am trying to find a way to thank God for my defects because they are what get me back to Him every night you know if i went through these steps once and all this stuff was removed and i never had any more of this stuff again that i'm asked to look for here and every defective character was removed i wouldn't be here anymore i would have gotten two or three hundred of you and led you off to mecca somewhere and started some new new movement and i would have been so holy i wouldnít have been any earthly good to new drunks i also donít want to use that to justify my defects because i donít like it when they continue to cause harm but i think part of what i'm learning to constructively review a day when there has been these things and believe me there's never been a day without one of these things i'm learned how to thank god for those things because my defects are what get me to a place where i'm once again backed up to the corner to do what i have to do to get me back to God? Do I owe an apology? Have I kept something to myself which should be discussed with another person at once? Was I kind, loving toward all? Now, if I close my eyes and I watch the direction consciously that those questions take place and how those questions take place when i when i ask them of myself i have a kind of experience where those questions take place in the back of my head and i can watch the direction of each of those because i'm looking at my day and i'm asking myself those questions but i think it's the next question and i've even been taken through an exercise where we were then asked to center in out here by putting our hand out in front of us straight out in from me from my chest straight out and centering in on my fingernails for the focus of the next question that I see that this next question takes place out here rather than in here looking at myself and that is what should I have done instead no I'm sorry what could I have been better you see part of that is looking at what I did during the day and part of it is looking that what could i have done better out here was I thinking of myself most of the time or was I thinking of what I could do for others of what i could pack into the stream of life out here but I must be careful not to drift into worry what I should have done was it good was it right was it wrong was it bad remorse or morbid reflection for that would diminish my usefulness to others after making my review I ask God's forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken. Go to sleep. I need to stay up all night and dwell on that stuff. Beat myself up. It's not constructive to do that. It is to see once again what did I do that blocked me from God? And does that work for me? To get back to Him and ask for His forgiveness. do I owe an apology what could I have done better was I thinking of others what could i have packed into life not my life for me my life so i can continue to exercise my will along the line they describe thy will not mine be done i mean there's there's another one paragraph that contains enough for somebody's life now they give me what to do in the morning on awakening well let's think about the 24 hours ahead consider our plans for the day now I always wanted to get up and do that because I thought that was first until I read before I begin I ask God to direct my thinking especially asking that it be divorced from self pity dishonest or self seeking motives that can be used as a prayer god please direct my thinking let it be let it be free of self-pity dishonest and self-seeking motives then i think about the 24 hours ahead and consider my plans for the day which means i should probably have some plans for the day one of the greatest exercises my sponsor ever gave me that i didn't think was in this book but it really is was to make my plans for the day before I go to bed or after I do my nightly review. You know, the stuff you've got to do tomorrow. 10 o'clock here, 11 o' clock here, 12 o' cock here, 4.30 thing, the meeting. To make my plan for the night and make my night plans for today and do my nighttime review and go to sleep. And to wake up in the morning and ask God to direct my thinking and then ask is there anything that separates me from doing what I'm supposed to do today. And see if there's any fear or anger or anything that blocks me from what needs to be done on my schedule today. Consider those plans. Ask for that stuff to be removed and see considering my plans I also learn that my plans can change and I can be flexible. I'm not bound by that and it's not a real rigid exercise. It's just another one of these 10 and 11 step exercises that helps me be more understanding and effective in my daily life. So on awakening, I ask God to direct my thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest and self-seeking motives. Think about the 24 hours ahead and I consider my plans for the day. these conditions, asking God to direct my thinking. I can employ my mental faculties with assurance. You mean I can really start to depend on my own mind? You told me that was what got me here. So obviously there's been some kind of change here. For after all, God gave us brains to use. Our thought life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives. In thinking about my day I may face indecision I may not be able to determine which course to take here I ask God for inspiration an intuitive thought or a decision you see then I think I'm supposed to I'm exposed to work on it or think about it no it doesn't say that or try real hard to figure out what he wants me to do if I'm in indecision no it says relax and take it easy it's a great time for meditation after I've done these couple simple things. Don't struggle. I'm often surprised how the right answer comes after I have tried this for a while. They promised me that what used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration will gradually become a working part of the mind. But being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that I am going to be inspired all the time. I have paid for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas nevertheless we will find that our thinking as time passes be more and more on the plane of inspiration I will come to rely on it and there's some great promises there and a warning remember somebody said at this time when I was new at this as I still am to be careful for the messages I get from God because they might be in my own handwriting. And this is where we all start to play the game of what's God's will and what's mine. And I say game because I believe that's a futile exercise. And you get those that say, but the 11th step says we pray for knowledge of God's Will and the power to carry it out. But I believe most of these exercises in 10 and 11 have centered me in on Where has my will gotten me? My selfishness, my dishonesty, my self-seeking, my fear. Okay? And I think that's how we learn about God's will by learning about what God's Will isn't. I do not spend a lot of time on what is God'swill. Most of these exercises center me in on what's been my will today. And I don't know and I think the more I learn about what God'S Will isn'T the closer I get to what God's will is now of course there are some obvious things of what God'S will is but I feel through the exercise and the directions and the discipline of step 10 and 11 I get closer to what my will is seeing it on a daily basis what Godís will isnít and I get a little closer to the knowledge of Godís Will I also had a friend one time who forgot part of that and prayed for knowledge of God's will but forgot about the power to carry it out and he was overwhelmed by awareness but he didn't have any power to carry it out and I think that's what we see a lot of people in this program doing when they get to a place where some major freedom has come they now go off into all kinds of things for new awareness and even though the book does say other books be quick to see where religious people are right I need to remember the warning that I not only need awareness and knowledge I need power we're seeing a lot nowadays people running off at this point or sooner which is even more dangerous to now I need to do this and now I need to do this and now I need to do this and none of those things by themselves are bad or wrong it's just that an alcoholic needs to remember that wherever he might go to do along with this the most dangerous thing is when we see people at this point go and do things instead of and we lose them but any of that stuff they might go do along with their AA program is wonderful and fine and they're going to get a lot of interesting awareness about themselves or whatever it is they're looking at but they need to remember they better be doing stuff at the same time that will give them power along with that awareness or one day will just be immersed in the problem that they've been searching looking at you know mommy and daddy and all this other newfangled stuff we need to be careful i mean there's great stuff to learn in therapy there's good stuff to do in some of these new programs there's great stuff too to learn in outside reading and great books and great meditation techniques but if I don't remember that I'm an alcoholic whose problem is lack of power and whatever it is I'm learning along the way I better be doing what exercises I need to do to acquire power at the same time if I'm looking back at my past or if I am looking back at problems or if I'm getting too carried away with this or that even that's positive you know meditation can even become a self-flagellating thing spiritual make-believe you can reach great heights in meditation and go to wonderful places and get very, very intoxicated. But if it's not helping you be more effective in your life or an alcoholic, that's really dangerous. And if you're looking at some past stuff where it was a lot of problem stuff from your past or your childhood or this or that and you're working and you are looking at the problem you better be getting some power along with it as you are doing that because there is such a thing as spiritual greed and there is Such a Thing as self-willing your own spiritual growth rather than letting the process take you to whatever it is supposed to see i guess where it says we relax and take it easy we don't struggle takes me into a morning meditation after those first few directions because at the end of that paragraph it says will usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that i be shown all through the day what my next step is to be that i'd be given whatever i need to take care of such problems. I ask especially for freedom from self-will. I'm careful to make no request for myself only. I may ask for myself, however, if others will be helped. Now you can play some real games with yourself with that one. We're careful never to pray for our own selfish ends. I mean, you know, if I had a million dollars, I'd be able to help a lot more people. you know there's some real dangers in that statement we may ask for ourselves however if others will be helped we're careful never to pray for our own selfish end many of us have wasted a lot of time doing that and it doesn't work you can easily see why I think these are the ideas that go into what was said about that prayer works if we have the proper attitude I think some of this stuff is beginning to tell me about a proper attitude for prayer if circumstances warrant we ask our wives our friends to join us in morning meditation if we belong to a religious denomination which requires a definite morning devotion we attend to that also if not members of religious bodies we sometimes select and memorize a few set prayers which emphasize the principles we have been discussing there are many helpful books also suggestions about these may be obtained from one's priest minister, rabbi. Be quick to see where religious people are right. Make use of what they offer. They're asking me to look out here in life. There's wonderful stuff. Now it gives me some great stuff to do as I go through the day. I mean the simplicity of these two steps is incredible. This step has told me what to do before I go to bed, what to when I wake up, what to do throughout the day as I go through the day I learned to pause one of the greatest techniques in the 11th step learning to pause when agitated or doubtful my pattern is when agitator or doubtful is to think real hard retaliate argue fight struggle or work on it here's another place where we see a lot people including myself think that when you get agitated or doubtful or resentful or afraid you got to get in there and you've got to work on it you got a dissected figure it out impose it on somebody get to the root of you know all that stuff it asked me here to not do that it asked me to pause when agitated her dog and ask for the right thought or action i constantly remind myself that i'm no longer running the show humbly saying to myself many times each day thy will be done I am in much less danger of excitement now that's an interesting idea that excitement can be dangerous but I think every alcoholic knows about that fear anger worry self-pity or foolish decisions we become much more efficient we do not tire so easily for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves it works he really does we alcoholics are in discipline so we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined you know I think I get to rest this is not an this is not all. There is action, more action. Faith without works is dead. The next chapter is entirely devoted to step four. I guess as I said before, I have experienced that each step takes me to the next. I did not have the power at step four to make amends for those people I was able to go to in step nine, but when I did five, six, seven and eight, the power was there. Now to really practice ten and eleven, I didn't have the power until I was into step nine. When I commenced to try to start to do this, the power to follow these directions and use these disciplines has always been there. There is an experience definitely to be had with step 10. But I think the miracle of step 10 is when I'm back to God again in step 11, not centered in on myself, among those things they asked me to watch for. And I think there is definitely valuable, numerous, millions, innumerable experiences to be had at Step 11. But I think the miracle of Step 11 is when I get up off my knees and I'm out in the world practicing these principles, carrying the message to other people.