The Spiritual Malady – 12 Steps/12 Traditions Workshop – Part 6 of 7 – Chris R.

Speaking for the next 40 minutes on steps two and three, I give you Chris R. from the Ingram Solutions Group in Ingram, Texas. There it is. It takes a little second. My name is Chris R., I'm a very grateful recovered alcoholic. One of my favorite things to do, real quick, it was so funny, I got to say this before I forget, as I'm old and feeble. It was so fun when I was sitting in here earlier while y'all were taking a break and I had some stuff I was doing, but I was watching and paying attention. And God, I think I was just flipping through the sheets, the pages, and how many people in there I know. Again, I sure agree with what we talked about this morning. I love these in-person meetings. But I got to tell you, it is so cool to get a chance. So many of y'all I've met on Zooms over all parts of the world and get a chance to see you. And I had to resist the urge to chat the whole time, getting to say hi of y'all it's uh god dang it from a little guy that tried to commit suicide in 1987 who didn't own an address book because i didn't have any friends to put in there uh it's been it's been a fine journey and i've sure got a bunch of bunch of wonderful acquaintances out there and a lot of them are on this in this gathering today and i'm honored honored to know you real quick because i was listening to some of the questions and uh there are a ton of step guides out there and um and i'm a big fan of uh the big book and so what i'm gonna i'm talking an overview of the step itself um i'm not taking the time to read page by page and you know we're not actually working the steps it's just these these roadblocks that we continue to get faced with in the process of working the steps. And if I can help answer some of those questions, that's what I want to do. Some of the guides out there, they always seem to want to add their own twist to it. We're going to take this and then we're going to add three more columns and then we're gonna do this and we're gonna... It's like, guys, I'm okay with any of that. It's not what I'm using. We got this little thing published in 1939. This is confusing for the newcomer. This is what we call the big book, and this is a little big book. And I happen to use an abridged large print for a squinters that I use with my guys, and it's an abridge with all the stupid stories in the back taken out, and I call them that affectionately. They're all good stories, folks, but trying to keep everybody's kind of focus up in the front. And like I said, we were talking about it earlier. This thing mainly is, it's like triage early on. You got this little guy we can maybe came out of treatment maybe he was introduced to the 12 steps there maybe he wasn't uh it's some level of detox but his world is fixing to come crashing down around him i don't care how many times you go to treatment if you don't do something different when you leave treatment hopefully like get connected to some good home groups like y'all are talking about there you don'T have a chance staying sober i've seen this for a fact i don'T care how good the facility is if you don't do this work you end up in trouble and so the triage piece i don't a lot of y'all know what that word means but i mean what we're trying to do is stop the bleeding um there are years and years that we can go uh do additional workbooks and studies and add this and go page by page and dissect that word and what does this really mean and Holy shit. Okay. Okay, we can do that. And I just, yes, that's not what I'm talking about now. I'm just, this is simple as we can possibly get it so the newcomer can understand what to do so he can start making some progress. We've just gone out of our way to complicate the bejesus out of this. And so stick with me. That's kind of where I'm going with it. I do have that little quick outline on first step some of y'all have already emailed me and i'm sending them out fast as i can and um i've uh got a little four-step deal which is just taking it shifted it over to paper i can send you if you want that but other than that i don't have all the steps and everything outlined i've got some articles that talk about it and i could be more than glad to send that to you too So be glad to do that. In the, from page 44 to 57, folks, we talk about the second step. I came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. And it's a step that so many people want to seem to avoid. I want to mention in early days of Alcoholics Anonymous, in the first edition of the big book, So if you read those stories and the introduction to those stories, it talks. And I don't have it right in front of me, so I'm not going to get it exactly. But to paraphrase, he talks about we ask these people to write these stories to show us in a way of how they had their spiritual experience, what their spiritual experience looked like in subsequent printings of the big book. We changed it to a verbiage that would indicate that what we're looking for is seeing. We're giving you a story so that you can see if you can identify with that person to see if you're an alcoholic or not. The shift was completely different. One was about a spiritual experience. The rest of these additions have been about, can you identify with the stories? And I beat that to death last time I got to talk to you about first step. We got way too much of that stuff going on folks because the little newcomer is looking for a reason not to stay. Y'all remember when you were a newcomer? Yeah. Give me an excuse to walk out that door. And that's what it is if all we're doing is telling stories the minute i can't identify with what you're saying i i discount what i i blank you out that's why i'm not a big one for let's tell them a bunch of stories i'm more about let's get down to the to the brass tacks and figure out kind of what this is really about this um death sentence that we got in the first step once we realize that it's us, that we actually are an alcoholic. There's going to be a sense of urgency to finish this work. If I've got one complaint about treatment centers and the facilities have a tendency to remove the urgency to finished this work, we'll get you detox, we get you therapy, get you all tucked in and everything's okay. And then you slow down. Then you walk off and then you go to this extended care and you go into this IOP. I mean, sooner or later, You've got to get a home group and a sponsor and start doing this work. And I'll never get off that soapbox because I've watched it. I do the follow-up calls. I've watch it 1,000 times. The people that get connected, they do great. The people que don't, they don't. So I think Bill Wilson was pretty clear when he was asking us this. I don't know. Look on page – let me mention one thing real quick because I was just thinking about it the other day. If y'all get a copy of the first edition, Alcoholics Anonymous has a book, Experience, Strength and Hope, I think is the name of it. But it's a compilation of all of the stories that were in the back of the book from the first, second edition, third edition and fourth edition. All good, great stories. If y´all read the first story in there, The Unbeliever written by Hank Parkhurst who helped us get the book published and was a big old personality, I gotta tell you. But he was a card-carrying, dyed-in-the-wool atheist. But if you can read that story, read it. And I'm going to ask you guys, listen, don't read it in a group. Get off by yourself and read it, it's not that long, a few pages. But I've got to tell you, this is a guy that went from A to B and had a life-changing experience. He didn't stay sober in the long run, guys, I don't know, on down, we can read the history about it, but his life was changed drastically. and all from a point of I'm never going to believe in God to dang, there's something here. And get a chance to read it. Every time I read it, I want to shed a tear. It's a beautiful written story. Look on page 45 real quick. Remember we read the qualifying questions for first step on the top of page 45. If when you honestly want to right there, the bottom is this to one who feels he's an atheist or agnostic such an experience seems impossible but to continue as he mean as he means as he is means disaster especially if he's alcoholic of the hopeless variety there again bill wilson uses those words if all the time because he doesn't know maybe you're maybe he's talking to a hard drinker but if you're the real mccoy like i am you're going to need a spiritual experience folks to be doomed an alcoholic death or live on a spiritual basis are not always easy alternatives to face. But it isn't so difficult. About half of our original fellowship were of exactly that type. Y'all get it? All right, here's where I'm going. Hold me back. The book said half of my fellowship was like that. And yet every time I'm in a workshop or in a group of people and we're talking about this, everybody wants to start talking about this like this is some big hurdle for all of us to follow a lot of us never had a problem with god to begin with we maybe we were church folks coming in the door maybe we had some sort of spiritual belief it's just it's like and i'll use this term over and over but it's almost apologetic for having to broach this subject and we need to get over ourselves. I'm going to go ahead and say it, folks. Everybody in the room, everybody's welcome an Alcoholics Anonymous that are suffering from a problem with alcohol. I I'm 100 percent. But the message can't be changed to make you feel better. And I see it all the time. Somebody sent me this is not the big book, but it's a great quote. years ago somebody sent me this i don't know who did it the reunion with one's own creator is truly life's highest experience to rob a person of this experience by offering and leading him towards something else should be classified as a crime i can't tell you how many times i've sat in these meetings folks and listened to somebody start talking well if they had talked about god when i got the alcoholics anonymous i wouldn't have stayed, and I'm so sorry. And how many people are we killed because we wouldn't talk about God? Guys, the book is so open and roomy here, it's not even funny. And my atheist friends get mad about it when we start talking about this. I love them to death. I got no bones up to pick about it. They have multiple fellowships for people who just flat refuse to believe in God. But, guys, it's not that difficult. I just – the assumption that the newcomer can't handle our message about God is just an assumption. The truth is most people don't give a put. They're just scared to death and they want to stop. So we give them the instructions, exactly what Bill Wilson is asking us to do. You know, Paul Young, you know, history, I'm a big history buff. and uh you look at the history bill wilson in the early days five years in they did statistics on who was staying sober new york had 54 sober new York members the contingent bill wilson's bunch akron where dr bob was they had 246 people sober i and of course in dr bob's area they they won't split any hairs about this god stuff It's just, let's go. Let's give it a shot. You know, the book talks about, it's pretty simple, the ABCs that God could and would if he were sought, not found. All we're asking you to do in step two, all we're askin' you to is all we've got to do is come at it with an open mind and finish the work. And if you do that, you're gonna have an experience with somethin', I don't know what it is, but you're gotta have an experience with somethin' that will change your life forever. And I... Dr. Young told Bill in the letters in 1961, union with God is an essential to recovery. Oldcomers taught us that this is unapologetically about God. I'm just crazy that we still continue to walk on eggshells around this. This is not church. We're not saying you got to believe in my God or somebody else's God. I got to tell you real quick, I was raised in a Baptist church and I was never a very good church person. About the time I left home, that was about it for me. But I had no problem believing in that faith. And it turns out when I finally got sober in 1987, these old timers that got hold of me that night, I Was talking to you about earlier this morning, And they, I'm sorry, it was morning here. I'll just say that it was still afternoon there. But they got together and there was this long-haired hippie guy. And they said, we've got this guy right here and he's going to sponsor you. And he was about a year or so sober and nice as could be, this guy. But we had absolutely nothing in common, y'all follow? And he Was just great. He was also a pipe carrier. He followed the way, the path of North American Indian. And I guess some of my experience with this guy early on was sitting in sweat lodges, you know, up in North Texas. And it's like, you Know, and I was talking to my mom about it, or I didn't get about this big around. And I was blessed that I had parents that said, buddy, whatever path you want to get on, get, but get on some path. And, and here I was experimenting and looking at the avenues that were there for me on a spiritual path. You don't have to believe in spiritual principle folks for it to be real. because i got to tell you the rest of these steps it's all about spiritual principle as you do something over here it's going to affect you over here i've seen it a thousand times bill wilson was so so absolutely crystal clear about it and uh that path it was atheists in the group jim burwell and the early guys in alcoholics anonymous you read his stories in the back of the the first and second edition uh it's uh i mean they were brilliant and they're the ones that pushed the issue when bill wilson started writing this book finally got it published in 39 after years of argument about this they finally put in there god as you understand it so we're not jamming this down anybody's throat it's just open and roomy but if you're just absolutely absolutely refuse to look at any form of spirituality whatsoever then you're you're treating this like it's a self-help program and it was never intended to be a self-help program we've just read it today in our pamphlet it's a spiritual program of action and as we do this work oh god i was so willing to believe in something guys because i wasn't doing really really well in my life remember i'm the guy that tried to commit suicide you know a few weeks earlier and these guys said chris come on let's do this work and as i did the work every time i did another step every time i got a little closer to the end uh oh my gosh now i'm going to hit it pretty hard when we start talking about service work guys but i it's i got closer to this to this power and it's like i was blessed that nobody tried to jam me i was on a zoom in england not long ago and some guy got on there and started on a rant that you gotta to you got to you know you've got to be a christian in order to get sober and you got to do this and you gotta do it's like you know i look you know they don't the bad part was i got to share after him not knocking anything there i'm saying we're not going to jam anybody opening rooming oh hindu proverb this ain't in the big book but it should be there are hundreds of paths up the mountain all leading to the same place so it doesn't really matter what path you take the only person wasting time is the one who runs around the mountain telling everyone that his or her path is wrong my little sister's muslim and uh uh i he raised in the same church i was and all of a sudden you know here she is and and uh and beautiful and we've had more than one conversation about it And she talks to me. She said, Chris, y'all realize that y'ALL stole them from Islam. You stole those steps from Islam, you know? Yeah. And my Buddhist friends say the same thing. And my Jewish friends say this. The same thing, every spiritual doctrine I've ever looked at has these 12 steps embedded. It sums up to this clean up your crap and go help somebody. There's no big long dogma about this. It's just real simple. dr bob said it love and service many y'all get to go to akron and you go to saint thomas you go down to the little chapel down there uh they've got a stained glass in there that they did with sister ignatia and a lot of a lot of the archive stuff in there it's just just absolutely wonderful to go if you ever get a chance absolutely do it but dr bob's quotes right there in the stained glass talks about love and service that's what this entire thing's about yeah so again the purpose of this sometimes we we have a tendency to want to complicate the bejesus out of it and we don't really need to the second step proposition if you look on page 52 real quick there's a couple things i want to read and then i'm going to move on. We touched on it a minute ago, and when I was talking about the spiritual malady, there's a great article out there written by a guy in Alcoholics Anonymous I met up in New Jersey 25 years ago, I guess. Wonderful guy, a guy named Mike L., and he wrote this article talking specifically about the Spiritual Malady, and you know, you could talk about it in some circles, and people want to throw rocks at you. You know, it's got nothing to do with nothing, but i'm going to read this to you and y'all think about this because i believe we're born this way and i'll be thinking about times before you started drinking when this was applicable this untreated alcoholism looks like this we were having trouble in personal relationships how many of y' all can relate to that even after drinking thinking about including the one with yourself guys if i've taught if i if i treated any one of my friends on this zoom the way you're treating yourselves they would arrest me your own worst enemy we were having trouble in personal relationships we couldn't control our emotional natures how many of y'all done that one minute you're okay y'al follow mr spiritual and then the next minute youre on the freeway again flipping people off ragging about that poor idiot that said something so stupid in that a.a what what that's just we were prey to misery and depression long before i took a drink but we're guys worried about my depression i'm going to tell you something my opinion i am not a doctor please don't run with this i'm just saying point blank guys a lot of us in this room when we go into treatment you're not in that facility 10 seconds and they've got an antidepressant shoved up your butt and i'm i listen we're triage we're going to try to help you any way we can understand this untreated alcoholism is the number one symptom of untreated alcoholism is depression. And we start doing this work and all of a sudden the depression lifts. I'm on all those medications, folks, and I started doing this work and I finished the fourth and fifth step and I started making these amends and I got to a doctor's care and we started weaning off all those medicines. And I got to tell you something, folks. It's been a nice 35 years without having to take a bunch of pills. My story. I'm not saying it's true necessarily for you. I'm saying untreated alcoholism. If you take the alcohol away, this stuff's going to come back. That's why I think it's so essential that we make sure that we're working the steps. We couldn't make a living not just about making money or you enjoying what you're doing. We had a feeling of uselessness. We were full of fear. We weren't happy. We couldn't seem to be any real help to other people. It was not the basic solution of these the devil wants more important y'all got it he goes on and talk yeah that's what we want to get rid of i was talking to a friend of mine he's on this zoom now and uh and i'm not going to embarrass him by telling him his name but i'd like to you know but i talk to people every day like this when i first called him he was in a bad spot the depression kicking his butt he was not a happy camper he wasn't drinking but he was miserable and we started talking about making amends and all of a sudden he starts knocking out a couple of these amends it starts making some making a little progress in his steps, and he's not even the same guy. I'm just talking in a few weeks. You should see the text I got when he first started talking to him, and now the text we're talking about today. It's just like, he's not even the same person. I didn't do that. God did that. That stuff that's blocking us from the Son and out of the Spirit as we do this work. I think it's pretty cool that we get a chance to look at it. Pretty interesting A simple willingness to do things a little bit different, that's all we're asking you to look at. Look at that third step. Third step is from 60 to 63. Again, the ABCs. That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives. B, that probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism. C, that God could and would if he were soft guys i don't know but that's some powerful three lines in the book i've spent so much time in my life expecting some person to fix what's wrong with me it's it's nobody else's responsibility to do that it's that's about me and if i'll get connected spiritually i can get happy and i don'T have to have money and i DON'T have TO HAVE A JOB AND I DON'T HAVE TO HAVE A GOOD LOOKING WOMAN i DONT HAVE GUYS i WOULD LOVE TO HAVE ALL OF THAT i DO TODAY i JUST NEED to be honest with you but it wasn't that way to begin with what it was was i found myself as a result of doing this work sitting in my little little ratty apartment with a couple little stinky ferrets with a big grin on my face literally guys within a couple of weeks of coming in after that suicide attempt i'm sitting in the same apartment only this time the apartment's clean and i'm happy and i'M GETTING EXCITED ABOUT MY LIFE GOD WHAT A GIFT What a gift, and it didn't take a bunch of work. I get frustrated sometimes because people want to spend so much time with the newcomer. I want you to make a list of the characteristics that you want God to have. I'm not finding that in the big book. My book says, are you willing to find God? It's a yes or no. Second step proposition. God either is or he isn't. Okay, I don't know. I don' know if I believe in God. The book says, are you willing to believe there might be something out there? Yes. Let's go. Then there's a couple of pages to read. Bill Wilson hits it pretty hard on 61 and 62. Look on the top of page 62. This is one of my favorite paragraphs in the book. I'm looking at that clock. Selfish and self-centeredness, exclamation point. That we think is the root of our troubles it didn't say scotch whiskey is the root of my trouble it said selfish and self-centeredness is the route of my troubles driven by a hundred forms of fear self-delusion self-seeking and self pity we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate sometimes they hurt us seemingly without provocation but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt. So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us. God makes that possible. Two places it says that God's going to fix this, and there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without his capital letter a his her whatever many of us had moral and physical philosophical convictions galore but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to neither could we have reduced our self-centered as much by wishing or trying on our own power we had to have god's help just just the willingness to look at this this is exactly what's going to happen i can't tell you how many little knuckleheads The book talks about at the bottom, this is going to be the keystone of our triumphant arch. I can't tell you how many people I've worked with and talked to a little guy. Okay, let's look at two and three. It says, well, you know, I'm just not a real Bible. You know, but I didn't ask any of those questions. I'm going to ask you one simple question. Are you willing to give us a shot? Are you will open your mind that there might be something out there bigger than you? Well, yeah, let go. you get to decide what that's going to be folks godly i look back i look it back and look at my spiritual path and i look how it's born over the years how it has changed how i've grown in some areas oh my gosh i just that's the beautiful thing about this folks see i get to have a experience and i'm not living off a spiritual experience that i had 35 years ago i had a spiritual experience two weeks into this program with me back into the program working the steps i had a spiritual experience i'm not living off that spiritual experience i had 35 years ago i'm living off the spiritual experience i'm having this week talking to little alcoholics i'm trying to help listen to the stuff come out of their mouth and this god dang what in this crazy world we live in and that's walking through it with grace and dignity. You'll be amazed, I've got to tell you. Bottom of the page it says he's the, God's going to be our director. He's going to be the principal. We're his agents. He's the father. We'RE his kids, children. Most good ideas are simple. This is the concept was the key son of the triumphant arch to which we pass through freedom. Golly, we had a new employer top of the next page talking, being all powerful he provides what we needed if we kept close to him and performed his work well. His work is being of service, folks. Established on such a footing, we became less and less interested in ourselves, our little plans and designs. More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to our life. We became conscious of his presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow, and hereafter. We were reborn. Those are the third step promises. I sit down with the guys I'm sponsoring, folks, and I'm talking to them. Bill Wilson understood it. He talked a lot about the white light experience he had in Towns Hospital, and he also talked a little bit about the spiritual experiences of the educational variety. And buddy, I've seen both. I've seen people that have seen visions and I've seeing people that just read this information and started looking at this and oh my God, it was kind of a gradual thing. And all of a sudden they were there. They knew without a doubt that there was something there in their life and both were equally life-changing. Bill Wilson talked quite a bit about it. You know, I got to say this. There's a big difference knowing about God and knowing God did y'all get that I've worked with lots of Christians folks lots of church folks sponsored some pastors in my day they knew a lot about God but they had lost connection with God it's something to look at folks it's in the simple it's stillness we're going to know God that's exactly what it talks about i gotta i want y'all to look real quick at this third step prayer we're at step three many of us said to our maker as we understood him bill wilson adds it in here guys again he wants us to understand you don't have to believe what the person sitting next to you does as we understand it people are always wanting to ask me guys guys i'm i i know my roots in christianity i got it i study every other doc i'm a student i read way more than i should y'all follow my little spirit animal is a possum i'm gonna just be vulnerable with y' all Y'all can think I'm absolutely crazy. I think those little possums are looking out for me. I believe in angels. I have come so close to dying so many times, it's not even funny. Why didn't I die before? And in all of my 35 years, why have I been protecting? My path may be completely different than yours. Think outside the box. i'll be out quite look at nature i can't look at something and not feel god's presence here's what it says the prayer god i offer myself to thee to build with me and do with me as thou wilt relieve me of the bondage of self that i may better do thy will take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help with thy power, thy love and thy way of life. May I do thy will always. We think we fought well before taking this step, making sure we were ready that we could at last abandon ourselves utterly to this power. Let me show real quick what the prayers just ask us to do, folks. The big piece in there, take away my difficulties that victory over them can bear witness to those I would help. This prayer obligates me to help others. My job is not out there witnessing saving souls. My job out there is to talk to the newcomer about how transformative this life can be as a result of leaning on something else, sometimes in the form of my group, the people around me. And guys, you're leaning on a power greater than yourself. And the things that change are absolutely phenomenal. I get snarky emails from all over the world. Why? You think all meetings ought to be a gratitude meeting. Yes, I do. If I could click my, I said it at Founders Day a couple of years ago. If I can click my fingers and get rid of one thing, it would be this idea that all of our meetings out there are supposed to be about helping you figure out what to do with your taxes. I'm sorry. Big Book says we set aside one night a week to help the newcomer. I think that's a great idea. Let's do it two nights a week. How's that? The rest of the night, let's bear witness to God's power by talking about how cool our lives are. It's pretty cool, guys. Everybody gets in there so knotted up and they're so banged up. And all of a sudden they walk into a meeting and you know how that works. All of a sudden, out of the mouth, somebody's sitting there and says, you know, some experience, strength, and hope to help that person get excited about his life again. Man, we got one thing to share. Hope. Hope. It's an amazing thing to watch. This was a beginning. The rest of this is all about action, folks. That last paragraph on the page on 63, next we launch out in a course of vigorous action. Yeah? Y'all get it? Y'ALL GET THE VISUAL? We launched out in the course of VIGOROUS ACTION. There's two places in the steps that we historically lose newcomers. It's between the third step prayer and the fourth step. and after we do uh while we're uh got our eight step list after the fifth step and we're getting ready to make the amends and we'll lose them like a like a we just stop okay well we'll get on that next week it didn't say that next week it says next we launched out on this is this is quick see if you're going to work the steps i keep going back to it gonna go slow with these guys well we're gonna read a few pages every week and talk about it buddy okay you can do that, but that's not what the book is asking us to do. The book is asking that newcomer to get off his butt and start getting to some action. I've got to say this, and I don't think there's anybody that will disagree with this. Any of you guys that are sponsoring people, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. I don' t know of anything out there that's more detrimental to the newcomers' chances of staying sober as self-pity. Alone by myself in a million-dollar house or a lousy-looking little apartment, I don't care. Alone by myself, I'll start feeling sorry for myself and pretty soon I've blocked myself from the sunlight of the spirit and the obsession comes back. That's why Bill Wilson says that's the number one offender is selfish and self-centeredness. Self-pity is what kills alcoholics. guys that's why we need to get on this and get as quick as we can you sit down with somebody and qualify them in 20 minutes and then give them the information let's talk about two and three do a third step prayer and let's get them on the fourth step next hour we'll get a chance to talk about the fourth steps and i can't wait to come back and visit with you about that but it's going to be a quick process i'm telling you it's not going to be complicated so uh i hope all of you guys, if any of y'all are struggling with a spiritual piece of this, remember there's a power out there greater than yourself and you don't have to get it figured out before you can move towards that direction. I guarantee you is every day is a new experience for all of us. I'm so grateful. Thank you. Did we see Billy yet? Yeah, he's here. Thank You so much, Chris. thank you all right thank you so much chris now back to billy for a 40 minute presentation on traditions two and three thanks billy alcoholic i have had some video problems for sure so uh if i do get any i'll look for someone to give me a signal that uh my video is and i'll switch the phone um anyway uh i got a quick question to throw out there so if anyone's in New York City and wants to see where Towns Hospital was, go to 98th Street in Central Park West. Look right across the street. It looks just like it does in the picture in the history books. You will see Towns hospital. If you go on the anniversary of Bill's spiritual experience pre-COVID, and I'm sure now after COVID, there is a group from Mexico that every year travels up and across the street has a little gathering celebrating Bill's spiritual experience that's been going on for years. So let's talk about Traditions 2 and 3. I do want to refer to a couple of things in the literature I'm going to read. You know, I did appreciate some of the questions before, and one of the things I want to throw out about the traditions and and again this applies to the big book is a lot of it is about you know communication a lot if it is how we communicate it and how others perceive we're communicating it a lot people like myself that takes a long time to learn because at first you could look like but you're tearing people down going after them whatever um i tell people all the time no one's going to listen to you if the behavior to correct the so-called traditions problem is worse than the behavior you just witnessed if the way you speak to them the way your treat them is that so far off the page they're not gonna they're Not Gonna Listen To You um i personally i love music i love jimmy page from led zeppelin i love to think the way he looks as happy as he looks when he's playing the guitar is the way i should want to look and be when i'm practicing a.a like not a care in the world but knowing that the message i'm communicating is being communicated um the long form of tradition too for our group purpose there's but one ultimate authority a loving god as you may express himself in our group conscience and of course the longer version which is the short form of traditional religion tradition two for our group purpose. There's but one ultimate authority, a loving god. He's may express himself in our group conscience are leaders but trusted servants. They do not govern. I do want to refer to some literature quickly and then talk about a couple of things. So But for tradition, too, if you do have an AA group pamphlet in front of you to please go to page 15. And see there where it says at the bottom, the AA home group. Traditionally, most AA members through the years have found it important to belong to one group that they call a home group This is the group where they accept service responsibilities and try to sustain friendships. And although all AA members are usually welcome at all groups and feel at home at any of these meetings, the concept of home group has still remained the strongest bond between the AA member and the fellowship. While I'm there, let me say this. I know that there's a lot of people here. Again, the relationship between the big book program of recovery and the traditions. There's a lot of people here who carry message to correctional facilities, treatment facilities, detoxes. Don't just go along with the flow of what you've been told to tell people. When they're being told that they're in a meeting counting game, go to as many meetings as possible like I was as a troubled child. Just go to As Many Meetings As Possible. Help those people out. don't be afraid to talk about the importance of a home group it's just as important as talking about the allergy or the obsession don't Be Afraid To Let Those People Know About What AA Is Don't Be Affraid To Maybe Maybe You're The First Person Who They Don't Know That It's All About Getting That Slip Sign And Going To As Many Meetings As Possible Maybe You'Re The First person who tells them you know what you'd be led better if you just had one home group one sponsor one sobriety date knew what step you were working on and have a service commitment at your home group so um the big book in the in the 12 and the 12 traditions really intersect there um while i'm on that subject i think i mentioned it already one home groups Now, I'm very aware of what's being said these days. Too aware. Way too aware. I'm using the current group conscience of Alcoholics Anonymous pamphlet. If there is a new one coming out or if someone has suggested a change, they're entitled to that. And if there's a new group conscience about what this pamphet says, I will embrace it. But I'm going with the group conscience of today, which I just read. Not one virtual group and one in-person group. Just one home group that you call your own. And if you love to go to meetings, listen, I love a bad cup of coffee in an uncomfortable chair at a meeting any day of the week. I do. AA to me is like Is my cathedral Is my temple The way other people look at those things That's how I look at any AA meeting But have one home group The other page I want to reference Is page 28 In the AA group pamphlet Now this i'd like to think one home group is not in the top 10 list of secrets but what is an informed group conscience is definitely in the top 10 of most secretive information in alcoholics anonymous for sure and it's one of those things that's right here page 28 the group conscience is the collective conscience of the group membership and thus represents substantial unanimity on an issue before definitive action is taken. This is achieved by the group members through the sharing of full information, individual points of view, and the practice of AA principles. To be fully informed requires a willingness to listen to minority opinions with an open mind. On sensitive issues, the group works slowly, discouraging formal motions until a clear sense of its collective view emerges. placing principles before personalities the membership is wary of dominant opinions its voice is heard when a well-informed group arrives at a decision the result rests on more than a yes or no count precisely because it is a spiritual expression of the group conscience the term informed group conscience implies that pertinent information has been studied and all views have been heard before the group votes so I want to share a little history about one of the things that in that section what do I want to mention first well I think first I'm going to mention this that there are a lot of uninformed group consciences they happen by the dozens every day and Somebody asked a great question early on that I'm sure will go at the end, which was how do you practically put these into work? Like it's fine to read them. But how doyouhow do youpractically do them? So I want to give you one for this. This last one that says implies that pertinent information has been studied and all views have been heard before the group votes. what I've seen a lot of home groups do that have a good set of guidelines or bylaws is not allow any like last minute motions on group policy. Now, if you want to make a motion about buying a different kind of cake, that's fine. Have at it. If you want to make emotion about, I don't know, you like English breakfast tea instead of Irish breakfast t that's fine too but groups that have like formed their structure of the time they meet the kind of meeting they have the the opening readings that they read all that stuff i think it's better for the group to have a group conscience that you have to submit that ahead of time and that the group hears about it for a month before it's voted on so that nothing is like last minute and emotional. And here's the other thing. I know that today we have electronic books. We didn't always have them, but not everybody has every book on their phone and not everybody Has the time, but we're supposed to apply AA principles to these group consciences. When you give people time, they can read language of the heart. They can read as Bill sees it. They can maybe go back and read A.A. Comes of Age, and they can really get some pertinent information. That is what it's talking about, having the information before you vote. And if you're not familiar, if you are new to this, one of the greatest things about Language of the Heart is that very few of our problems are new. It seems that we have the same problems over and over again in A.I. And it's so funny how you can find the same problem being dealt with in our past. One other thing I wanted to talk about here. Substantial unanimity. Substantional unanimity is better than majority vote and better than, I guess you could say majority would mean that at least half of the people present vote. But sometimes you can have three or four options. So the person, the option with the most votes might not be have the majority of the people there. Substantial unanimity means that usually two thirds of the group feels a certain way. That's what we use at the General Service Conference. but two-thirds has to be in there now if you uh have read a comes of age or have read um language of the heart about a couple of these things there are some interesting things i love this in a comes-of-age harder still to accept was the now proven fact that the conscience of the group when properly informed of the facts and issues and principles involved was often wiser than any leader self-appointed or not we slowly realize that the old timer frequently was faulty in judgment because of his position of assumed authority he was too often influenced by personal prejudice and interests with all his experience and good works there was still nothing infallible about him at all I mean what is that saying is that the group always knows better. Period. The group knows better now that doesn't mean the group can't be wrong we are a pretty self-correcting organization you talk to anyone who's been a home group member at home group for a long time and I'll bet you they could at least remember the group changing their mind on one or two things and that's okay maybe three years ago that was your group conscience And now you have a different one. As long as it's informed, as long as all the pertinent information has been used there. Another thing I want to talk about, I'm going to go to the 12 and 12, is my favorite paragraph about class systems. ultimately they divide into two classes known in aa slang as elder statesmen and bleeding deacons the elder statesman is the one who sees the wisdom of the group's decision who holds no red no resentment over his reduced status whose judgment fortified by considerable experience is sound and it was willing to sit quietly on the sidelines patiently awaiting developments the bleeding deacon is one who is just as assuredly convinced that the group cannot get along without him, who constantly connives for re-election office and who continues to be consumed by self-pity. A few hemorrhage so badly that drained of all AA spirit and principles they get drunk. So one of the things that I think again I'm going back to some of the great questions if you're trying to bring change and you're dying to bring a change to your home group one of the practical suggestions that i've learned about applying the traditions is not having to talk on every issue like if i know the issues that are being discussed at my business meeting i can decide the one or two that are really important to me and it doesn't mean that i don't care about the others i can exercise my vote but if i talk every single time about every single issue it comes a time when people are just not going to listen when you talk they're just like oh that's billy he has to talk about every single issue you would much rather sit back and have people know that when you open your mouth it's because it's something really important to you it's because it's something that you really care about and there's a certain grace that comes with you know i love the saying everything needs to be said but not everybody needs to say it it's a very simple kind of suggestion but seems difficult for us to learn sometimes you know that i think i want to say the same thing but i have a nuance to say it a little better, I think, where people are going to hear. I mean, all I'm saying is tact and grace and politeness, they will go a long way. Now, this other thing about bleeding deacon and elder statesman is, you know, how do I define a bleeding deacons or an elder statesmen? It's a bleeding beacon that's blood out. They got no more blood to give. they've gone down on that battlefield they've stood up for every single thing and they're just out of blood you know again I'll go back to Don P he used to talk about past delegates and if you don't know what a delegate is I hope that you find out but there's 93 of them in the United States and Canada and in some places still past delegates have the right to vote for life and that used to drive don crazy that that how could we have a position for life in aa you know this we have spiritual principles of rotation but one of the things don used to say is that if you're truly an elder states person even if you don't have a vote if you're only speaking when you really need to speak then your voice should count for something to people and they will probably listen up when you have something to say the other thing I would say about the group conscience is if your home group is struggling reach out to some people you know that are in home groups that you respect get a copy of their guidelines or their bylaws or how whatever their structure is see how they do things you know in aa we like to say nothing is really original there's nothing wrong with stealing a good idea from another group there's nothing wrong taking a suggestion and looking at your own group and saying hey maybe we could do this better but again at the end of the day it has to be with the group conscience. So let's go to the one where, as Chris says, the emails come in and the Molotov cocktails get thrown. And you know, there's always certain subjects in the big book or the 12 and 12 that are going to cause that and none better than tradition three, right? I have 20 minutes on tradition three and God knows we could cause a lot of problems here. And God knows nothing has probably caused more problems than the short form of tradition three the only requirement for drinking for membership a membership is a desire to stop drinking so let's go to some i'll read the long form and then the long forum is as follows our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism hence we may refuse none who wish to recover nor a membership ever depend upon money or conformity any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an AA group, provided that as a group they have no other affiliation. That's what the tradition says. But we can be nitpickers. We all know that. I mean, the tradition says any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety make call themselves NAA group. That was the name of Don P's home group, NAA Group, and GSO rejected it the first time they said what kind of name is this that's not the name of a group and they had to write back and say oh no the tradition says any two or three alcoholics gathered together they call themselves an AA group but there's a lot of myths about this tradition I'll maybe start with the worst one that anyone who says they're an aa member is that is not what the literature says the last paragraph on page 145 of the 12 and 12 says clearly so the hand of providence early gave us a sign that any alcoholic is a member of our society when he says so. Now, I know a lot of you have been to big book studies. In the big book study, a person like me learned that I was born with a condition that I didn't even know I had. You know what that condition was? I make up my own definitions of words. I don't know if anyone else has that condition, but I found out I make up my own definition of words, and it was at a big book study that I learned that's why we use a dictionary. A dictionary will help level the playing field. If you have a 1939 dictionary, even better, but a dictionary nonetheless. When you look up alcoholic in a dictionary, it is a person who suffered from alcoholism. A person who suffers from alcoholismo, I hate to go back to the dictionary again, is someone who drinks alcohol in liquid form and imbibes it. so us playing with this definition of alcoholic um i just simply go with the words on the page now one of the things that we um probably struggle with we do is that we we trade tradition three for tradition five anyone ever been to a meeting where they say something along the lines of uh in respect of tradition three we would ask you to have all your comments about alcoholism well that's really tradition five tradition three is about membership that's it and tradition three was written remember first of all i haven't said this yet, so I'll say it right now. In 1946, if you had eight years sobriety, that's like having 60 years right now, okay? If you had 8 years sobpriety, you were like one of the early founding members of Alcoholics Anonymous. You might have to have 70 years today to be equal to eight in 1946. And if you had like even five or six years, that's like having 40 today. And imagine how all those people who were running, and I'm not using that word lightly, running AA groups as it spread from New York and Cleveland and spread across the country. imagine how happy those people who are running those groups were when bill w printed these 12 traditions not happy at all because up until that point these people made all the rules and by the way there were so many rules that if those rules stayed in place most of us wouldn't be here today in a.a That's how many rules there were. The other thing to remember about this tradition is AA's diversity and inclusion policy from 1946 on was 100 years ahead of its time. Now, that doesn't mean that AA members were 100 years head of their time. I'm aware that our members have all kinds of human frailties. But AA as an organization has had a diversity and inclusion policy called Tradition 3 since 1946. That we don't care, anyone who knows me knows I quote Metallica, nothing else matters. It's one of their greatest songs, nothing els matters. Are you an alphaholic? That's it. we don't care what color you are we don' t care what religion you are we don´t care if you don´T believe in God we don ´t care if you´re gay, bi, straight trans, gender neutral I could go on and on we don'T care if you´r a Democrat or a Republican we don''t even care if you ´re a Red Sox fan all we care about is are you an alcoholic and if you are an alcoholic that's a two-way promise by the way that newcomer whose hand you shake they're promised that all they have to be is an alcoholic to be a member of AA on your side the spiritual promise that you make is you don't care who they are your sacred spiritual promise is to help any alcoholic That means I have to leave myself. You know, I talked about individual liberty in Tradition 1. Yes, as a private citizen, I have lots of individual liberty. In fact, as a private citizen, AA has helped me to get lots of my liberties back that I lost. But inside AA, I lose some of those liberties. The spirit of sacrifice has to come out. You sit next to me, I don't care if you're pro-gun or anti-gun. I don' t care if You're pro-life or pro-choice. I don't care what you are. My responsibility is to reach the handout of AA to you and to offer you a way of life that could make you happily and usefully whole, and I don'T get to pick and choose who I help. That's not how this works. Now, inside the group pamphlet, I want to go to page 12. Let's deal with another myth right out of the gate. And you know what's funny? just two days ago and I didn't raise my hand during the meeting and say like teacher I have the answer but somebody from the floor said I've always wondered how women's and men's meetings could exist inside our traditions and after the meeting I simply went up to her and said you know that answer is in the AA group pamphlet if you'd like one I'll get one for you the next time I see you or you can go to aa.org but you know page 12 it says some aas come together as specialized aa groups for men women young people doctors gays and other if the members are all alcoholics and if they open the door to all alcoholists who seek help regardless of profession gender or other distinction and meet all other aspects of defining an aa group they may call themselves an AA group. Wow. So that means even if you belong to the best women's meeting in the world, if a man shows up who needs help, he gets a seat. If you want to continue to call yourself AA, you can be the greatest men's meetingin the world. If a woman shows up who needs a meeting, she gets a seat. Now you want to call yourself the so-and-so recovery group? Have at it. But if you wantto use the name of an AA group, then it has to be open to everybody. Now, again, I go back to the great question of practicality. I wanted to know what goes on inside women's meetings for 33 years. they're not talking about me They're not talking about me and my 33 years and showing up because I'm interested what goes on there Okay We're talking about practical common sense which unfortunately we're talking about AA so sometimes practical common sense is not common at all times But we don't restrict who can come I also want to talk about it on page 13 of open and closed meetings Okay the purpose of all a group meetings as the preamble states is for aa members to share experience strength and hope with each other they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism towards this end a groups have both open and closed meetings okay we only have two types of meetings open and close that's it your meeting format may be big book study speaker whatever but it has to be either an open or a closed meeting closed meetings are for aa members only or those who have a drinking problem and the desire to stop drinking so for those people who are out there telling everybody else just tell them you have a desire to stop drinking no do you have a thinking problem and a desire open meetings are available to anyone interested in Alcoholics Anonymous's program of recovery from alcoholism non-alcoholics may attend open meetings as observers we're using the dictionary definition of observe not mine see if Billy is an observer that means I get to throw my two cents in when you're wrong right that's how I observe in life right that's my view of observing right we're not talking about my definition we're talking about simply observing and our open meetings are supposed to be our kind of showcase to the world that's where we want the world to see the beauty and grace and miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous Whether it's a nursing student, a medical student, a probation officer, an Al-Anon member, a concerned parent, whoever. AA is on display. Our first and greatest public information tool to the world is the open meeting. I'm also going to go to page 44. if you go to the long form i've already read it our membership would include all who suffer from alcoholism alcoholism i'm going to utilize a little pamphlet here we go problems other than alcohol excerpts it is so simple it's this small little pamflet I'm sure there are a few people here who have sent an email or wrote a letter to GSO and I'm sure you've probably been disappointed with the response because rarely do they state an opinion they just kind of share experience that they've run across this pamphlet this is yes or no answers specifically here is a list of questions we are often asked can a non-alcoholic pillar drug addict become an aa member no can such a person be brought as a visitor to an open meeting for help and inspiration yes if so should these non-alkoholic pillar drug users be led to believe they have become aa members no can a pillar or drug taker who also has a genuine alcoholic history become a member of AA? Yes. Couldn't be simpler. But let's talk about the practical implication of this. For some reason, we get focused on drugs with this tradition. I don't know why. imagine tomorrow gamblers anonymous decided that their membership was getting a little too low and in order to boost up membership they were just going to let alcoholics in and they would share the 12 steps with these alcoholics and it doesn't work no identification we would be worried about how many alcoholics would die That's what we would be worried about. We don't care what other problem you have. The best way I can describe it is this. Tradition three is a qualifier. That's it. Do you suffer from alcoholism? We don' t have a disqualifier. There are no disqualifiers in Alcoholics Anonymous. And for some reason, we give drugs all the play. But we don't care if you're a baseball player or a sex addict or a compulsive gambler or an overeater. We don't cares. I would like to find me somebody in AA who has no other problems besides being an alcoholic. No other problems in their life. it's the only one I've never found that person it just doesn't matter and we don't care what those other problems are and this is why introducing yourself as an alcoholic is so important because when you start introducing yourself as other things somebody who's only an alcoholic who's new may feel well do I belong here do I have to be that as well you know I heard some speakers say it better we are a single purpose program we do not need duality of purpose introductions we just don't and you know let me give proper due and credit to 2022 we all live in the real world we all know what's going on out there the amount of people dying of overdoses from heroin and fentanyl are through the roof what's even to me sadder is how many of them are dying as members of AA who are not alcoholic who no one took the time to get them to the right fellowship now that does not mean if you're a heroin addict and an alcoholic you're in the wrong fellowship i already said that if you'RE AN ALCOHOLIC WE DON'T CARE WHAT YOUR OTHER PROBLEM IS BUT WE DON't THE OUTSIDE WORLD'S BELIEF ABOUT EVERYTHING BEING THE SAME IS NOT A.A.'S BELief IF YOU HAVE SOMEONE THAT'S NOT GOING TO IDENTIFY IN AN A.M. AND AN AA meeting, or if you heard someone say that alcohol is only mentioned in the first step, please introduce them to a fourth edition big book. Please, please take that big book and go to page, I want to say in my fourth edition, is it 104? 103. Yeah. The program of recovery is in that many pages. and then please go if you don't want to argue which I'm done with arguing just go to like page 40 I'll even give them a couple of pages that many pages is focused on identification as an alcoholic let's honor the third tradition but let's also be good members of our community and society if somebody with a gambling or a food issue showed up in your group i would hope that you would get them to a meeting that could save their life the way aa saved your life i would hope that and i would help that someone who shows up as a drug addict who says they're not an alcoholic that you don't try to convince them they're an alcoholic you're allowed to believe them. Get them to a place that can help. I can tell you, I've been active in a couple of other fellowships from a service point of view. Just like I do not believe I'm a drug addict, there are plenty of other people in those other fellowship who don't believe they're an alcoholic. Now, that doesn't mean drinking is a good idea for them. Just like i believe taking drugs isn't a good idea for me but let's please not try to make aa a membership game and let's let's remember how diverse and inclusive this tradition is that everyone deserves a seat at the table who's an alcoholic i believe this tradition is so far ahead of its time do I have like am I right on my timing that I have three minutes or two minutes okay I don't know where the timer is but okay thank you but let me get rid of a couple of other urban myths while I'm at it end here the story in the third tradition i'll open up my third tradition just for the hell of it i'll open up by 12 and 12 for the hell of it let's see a newcomer appeared at one of this groups knocked on the door and asked to be let in he talked frankly with the group's oldest member he soon proved that he was a desperate case and that above all he wanted to get well but he asked will you let me join your group since i'm the victim of another addiction even worse stigmatized than alcoholism you may not want me among you or will you there was the dilemma what would the group do the oldest member summoned two others and incompetence laid the explosive facts in their laps said he well that about it uh if we turn this man away he'll soon die if we allow him in Only God knows what trouble he'll brew. What shall the answer be? And then it goes on to say about what would the master do? But I want to just take you back in time. I love the way they say this. And in confidence laid the explosive facts in their laps. You know what the explosive facts were? He was gay. He was a man. He was not gay in the 1940s. That was the explosive fact. That was The Stigma, supposedly much worse. Some people think They'll say it was a black transvestite wearing a blonde wig. That is the wrong story and the wrong decade. The story in the 12 and 12 is simply a man in Ohio who is gay. Later on in AA literature, it talks about the transgendered person who came into a meeting in New York. It's been that way since the start. And this is how we practice principles before personalities. and if i forget to say it the next day or two or day and a half i listened to a tape of bill w talking way way back when and one of the things he said really caught me attention he said one ofthe reasons that the traditions needed to be created was that while the steps were great and the program of recovery in the big book was amazing the 12-step basically has three commands to us right it does having had a spiritual experience carrying that message to other alcoholics practicing these principles in all your affairs and bill w said one of the things they noticed was one of them places alcoholics were having the hardest time practicing these principles and all their affairs was in the very organization that saved their life, Alcoholics Anonymous which led to these 12 traditions to kind of put a tent around this circus we call Alcoholics Anonymous. Thank you very much