Spiritual Sobriety – B. and Herb K. – Exploring Emotional Sobriety – Workshop – Part 3 of 4 – Allen B.

and the methods and get some training and get some practice and have some accountability so that I got better intentionally over time. On leaving his office, he said key words. If you want to know if your meditation is effective, here you go. If you wanna know if you're meditation is effective after three months of consistent daily meditation ask your partner how you're treating her or him. Ask your partner, if you've changed, ask your partner about your kindness and your consideration. Pay attention to how you drive on the freeway. Pay attention how you treat service personnel in the grocery store or at the bank. Because you will be kinder, you will gentler, you'll be softer, you're more considerate over time. The change that comes from the 12 steps is of course a spiritual awakening. read appendix two if you have any doubt what that means it's not a mountaintop experience like bill had a spiritual awakening is a change in the way we think and feel and behave and it's done to us not by us that's the key but not without us that willingness and grace concept Willingness is my part to make a decision to take the actions. Grace is that mystery that allows me to take that action. I don't know what comes first, the chicken or the egg. I don'T KNOW WHAT COMES FIRST, THE WILLINGNESS OR THE GRACE. I TOOK IT INTO MEDITATION AGAIN LIKE I DO ALL CONUNDRUMS, ALL QUESTIONS THAT I ASK, ALL MYSTERIES THAT I TRY TO RESOLVE. i didn't resolve it but i got a poem that helped me consoled me settled me down i was taken to a place of willingness here the grace of that i was taking to a space of willingness uh but i was willing to be taken hear the hear the willingness on my part grace and willingness i can't answer the question about the touch point in the Sistine Chapel of God's hand reaching down and my hand reaching up because there's a space in the middle. That's the space of mystery, and I don't have to know because when I stand quietly on the path that I've walked all these years and I look back over my shoulder, I see progressive enlightenment. I see progress of transformation. I see progressive awakening, my life flourishes and it continues to flourish. That's spiritual sobriety. A relationship with myself, a relationship with others, and a relationship with reality. It's got several parts. Certainly the 12-step program has several parts, meetings, big book, 12 steps, all important prayer, certainly service, but the most important part, sponsorship an accountability partner a teacher most of the spiritual traditions talk about three components to a spiritual life one is a path the other is a community but a critical component is a teacher a sponsor or an accountability partner. I needed people who were informed and experienced, and they weren't all in one place. I had a sponsor that helped me with my life. I had step guide to help me with the process. I had therapist that helped iron out some of the wrinkles of my family of origin. i had a spiritual director who plumbed helped me plumb the depths of the spiritual journey and i hada partner in a wife who was walking this path and she was an accountability person for me a person who i could trust with my money and my children and my soul she died about three years ago as many of you know after 52 years of walking this journey The first 20 were very challenging. And then we found the program, and the last 32 were phenomenal. We became really, really good friends. This is a process, not an event. Dr. Berger talked about integration. This is the key term in emotional and spiritual sobriety, and integration. Physical sobriete begins like that dimmer switch going up a notch at a time, and we get emotional sobriety after we complete step nine, but we don't keep it and foster it unless we get spiritual sobriete or practicing our way of life on a daily basis. And the dimmer switch goes down a notch at a time also. And disintegration happens actually easier than integration. The dimmer switch is on a greased axle and it's hardwired to go backwards. And so we need to lean gently into it. Bill says we have a daily reprieve. We're not cured. Daily reprieved. Each day, we need to use our mind to create our vision of God's will for us. Each day we need to use our will to align our behavior and decisions, our thoughts and our feelings with reality as it is. Otherwise, unmanageability dominates and the spiritual malady corrupts and the cancer of the soul metastasizes and the obsession returns and when the obsession returns the darkness descends until it's fully dark and we're back in our addiction the dimmer switch goes up a notch at a time and it goes down a notch at a times it doesn't seem like it's getting brighter when it is until there's enough light to see it doesn't appear that it's getting darker until in fact we don't see that's where accountability partner is so important who is coming to save me dr berger introduced me to a a psychologist who had a big sign over his over his office he said nobody's coming oh my god how would you like to go and pay somebody that as you enter their door nobody's coming i am the one that i am waiting for that's the message here in emotional sobriety i need to take responsibility as dr berger indicated capable of making a response i do that with my conscience practice step 10 aware of my feelings aware of my disturbance taking responsibility for alignment and realignment that's our self-actualization a consciousness practice in the morning and in the evening perhaps becoming a lantern i am responsible for the effort not the result it's a journey not a destination a process not a task an experience not an event oh a recap of what i've been talking about self-factualization in step 10 but self-realization in Step 11. notice i'm connecting to that maslow model of human development in terms of optimal