Steps 1-12 by Beth B. (4.5hrs) – Part 2 of 2 – 2017 – Sandy B.

About This Speaker Tape

Steps 1-12 by Beth B. (4.5hrs) - 2017

A childhood of self-sufficiency and a feminist mother's lessons on fighting back left Beth B. ill-equipped for the surrender required in recovery. After a brush with death and a series of losses among her circle of friends she found a home group in Secaucus New Jersey where an older woman told her "The time of your death has been changed." Beth B. navigates the shift from being the 'designated driver' and the social organizer of the drinking crowd to a woman who allows life to happen. She uses the metaphor of old typewriters and ledger paper to describe the ease of abandoning a broken way of living for a working solution. Her recovery is anchored in the 'freedom step' of Step 3 moving from a mindset of fighting life to experiencing it and discovering that serving others—like driving a newcomer home from rehab—places her in the right place at the right time.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Beth B. discusses the search for something deeper than just stopping the pain.
• 2:15 The pivotal moment in Secaucus: An older woman tells her 'The time of your death has been changed.'
• 4:30 Discussion of Step 2 and the struggle with a background of atheism and self-sufficiency.
• 7:10 Laughter: The 'black shoes' addiction and the pistachio nut story.
• 10:45 Reflecting on the 'circle of friends' where people were dropping off and dying.
• 13:20 Beth B. describes Step 3 as the 'freedom step' and her upbringing by a feminist mother.
• 16:50 The Seinfeld analogy: George C. doing the opposite of everything he thinks is right.
• 19:10 The transition from being the social organizer and designated driver to letting go of control.
• 22:30 The typewriter and ledger paper metaphors for changing one's mind.
• 26:10 Discussion of the 'bondage of self' and the 'people, places, and things' rule.
• 29:40 Story about driving a newcomer from rehab and witnessing a car accident involving another program member.