Eric E. at the 12 Steps and Buddhism Retreat – 2012

About This Speaker Tape

1968: a physical deferment from the draft, a dropped college course, and a sudden trip to the ski slopes. Eric E. describes a life spent in the fog of ignorance, convinced he was a unique island, separate from the whole of life. He spent the early 70s as a "star" in the computer world, fueling a habit of two Manhattans for lunch and a crumbling ego. By 1984, the wreckage was total; he was homeless, sleeping on wood floors, and stumbling through inpatient treatments while others watched him flirt with death.

Surrender arrived in 1989 as a boundless grace. He found a bridge between the Twelve Steps and Buddhism, viewing service not as a chore, but as manifest gratitude. He speaks of being a "shower of the way," integrating the Eightfold Path with a Higher Power to find a seamless unity. For Eric E., the magic is in the ordinary: crying with a sponsee over a lost gas station job and accepting the three pillars of faith, doubt, and perseverance.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:45 Eric E. introduces himself as Zengan and connects the 12th Step to Buddhist service.
• 4:10 Recounts childhood feelings of isolation and the ignorance of not seeing the service others provided.
• 7:20 Describes his early drinking years and his career as a banker in the 70s.
• 10:15 First encounter with Ray A. and the initial resistance to the Lord's Prayer and a Higher Power.
• 14:30 The wreckage of the 80s: homelessness and sleeping on Paul M.'s floors.
• 16:45 The moment of surrender in September 1989 and the feeling of boundless grace.
• 19:20 The experience at the nunnery in Wayzata and meeting the Zen master.
• 22:10 Discussion on the Eightfold Path and the 'magic in the ordinary' found in service.
• 25:40 Q&A: Discussing the three pillars of Zen: great faith, great doubt, and perseverance.
• 28:15 Sharing his current practice and the story of a sponsee who lost a gas station job.