Sandy B. on We Agnostics and the Need to Change Your Mind

About This Speaker Tape

The distance between himself and his six children and the wreckage of a heart broken too many times for his mother once defined Sandy B.'s life. He traces the path from being a shaking outpatient in a 'nut ward' to a seventy-year-old man who finds peace in the simple act of being 'undisturbed.' Sandy dismantles the illusion of the intellectual approach to sobriety recalling how he once faked reading the Big Book by staining pages with coffee and burning edges with cigarettes to fool his sponsor. He argues that alcoholism is a spiritual malady that no human power—not even the psychiatric brilliance of Carl J.—can solve.

For Sandy the turning point is the surrender of the 'willful' ego moving from a world where vodka was his only solution to a life where he seeks to leave every person he meets a little happier than he found them.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Sandy B. opens with gratitude and mentions his sobriety date of December 7, 1964.
• 2:45 Emotional account of the final moments with his mother and the reconciliation made possible by the program.
• 5:30 Sandy discusses the 'We Agnostics' chapter and his early struggles with spirituality.
• 7:15 Laughter: Sandy describes how he faked reading the Big Book with coffee stains and cigarette burns.
• 11:40 The definition of alcoholism as an illness that only a spiritual experience can conquer.
• 16:20 Detailed history of Roland H.'s treatment with Carl J. and the realization that human power is insufficient.
• 22:10 The story of Ebi T.'s chaotic behavior and his eventual surrender to the Oxford Group.
• 28:40 The 'hot flash' spiritual awakening of Bill W. and the concept of choosing one's own Higher Power.
• 33:15 Sandy reflects on the 'spiritual malady' and the feeling of being on the wrong planet.
• 38:50 The contrast between the 'fake' confidence of drinking and the fear-locked brain of sobriety.
• 44:10 Discussion on the surrender of the ego and the 'white flag' of the Marine Corps mindset.
• 51:20 The Tenth Step and the practice of staying 'undisturbed' throughout the day.