Russell S. – Step Six – The Division Between Men and Boys – 2025

About This Speaker Tape

East N. Men's Group - 2025

Russell, a former prosecutor and attorney, cuts through the noise of long-term sobriety to warn against the 'drunk sobriety test'—the state of staying dry but remaining miserable, delusional, and addicted to the world. He maps out a life driven by a craving for status and women, admitting he pivoted his entire career to law just to get into a specific woman's pants. He dismantles the illusion of the 'imaginary Higher Power'—represented by a drinking buddy who tells you everything is fine while your life burns—and contrasts it with a rigorous, spiritual discipline. Through stories of financial collapse and the 'second bottom' that hits even after a decade of sobriety, Russell argues that the real disease isn't the bottle, but a dependency on circumstances and the approval of others. He makes his case for a personal relationship with a Higher Power as the only way to stop being a 'people whore' and finally find peace.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Russell opens with a gritty greeting to the group, joking about their age.
• 4:15 Laughter: Russell discusses the 'cattle prod' needed to wake up alcoholics from the same old stories.
• 8:30 Discussion of the Big Book and the importance of focusing on specific sentences rather than general paragraphs.
• 12:45 Russell discusses the early days of AA and the requirement of getting on one's knees to pray before entering a meeting.
• 18:20 Russell analyzes the 'drunk sobriety test' and the risk of long-term sobriety without emotional growth.
• 25:10 Story about changing careers to law to impress a woman; Laughter from the room.
• 32:40 The 'sentence' that ended his marriage: 'If you come home drunk one more time, I'm leaving you.'
• 38:15 Laughter: The story of Doug Hartman and the 'imaginary Higher Power' of validation.
• 44:50 Russell describes the brutality of his own character and his admission of being an 'A**hole' during marriage counseling.
• 52:10 Story about his sponsor Bob Sullivan 'solving' his financial ruin through service work.
• 58:00 Discussion of the 'second bottom' and the transition from being 'spiritual not religious' to finding a personal relationship with a Higher Power.