(100 votes)
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Bang On, THE solution is in the book!!!
Primary Purpose
Guy is very angry. Needs to do inventory badly. “You’re all doing it wrong!” lol. Same old alcoholic blame game… Dividing the Fellowhip well done though…
I hear you, and I often feel the same way…
What my sponsor suggests to me is, “If you’re not hearing a message you like, ask yourself, “What can I bring to this meeting?” And he also says that while it may not be the message i want to hear, maybe its perfect for someone else. I’ve listened to speakers give what i thought was a poor message devoid of explaining the solution, yet people were just thrilled with it – including a 25 year sober person 🙂 And since regularly my thinking creates problems, I simply have to suggest that maybe I shouldn’t insist on things being the way I want 🙂
I like Chris R.’s message A LOT! I, too, have been in and out of AA due to my ignorance of listening to drunkolog after drunkolog, “shares” about everything but GOD and the steps and people telling me to not so anything, but come back ‘cuz a miracle would happen or one day I’d finally hear my story. I thought maybe I’m too sick for AA, that something must be wrong with me because what was apparently working for others was killing me slowly. I returned to AA and found the same foolishness, but while in rehab, a speaker had told us about her psychic change/spiritual awakening from working the 12 steps and I was determined to have one!
The meetings had gotten worse! They can’t even be bothered to have a topic! It’s basically a speaker delving into mundane autobiographical info (love of sugar as a child as a precursor to future addictive behavior), telling a long drunkolog (no HP, no steps) and then a bunch of people claiming “that was just what I needed to hear today” and following up by filling us in on their day and ending with a complacent “I’m exactly where I need to be”.
Simply put – I didn’t come to AA to hear stories (a) I’m not 5, so story hour has lost its appeal and b)if I forget my story in a mental blank spot before a relapse, why would I remember yours?). I come to AA meetings to hear solutions, not be the audience to someone’s therapeutic processing of their day, job and love life.
I think Chris R. is right when he says these meetings are killing newcomers and people who want to get 12 step recovery one day at a time. Cuz it’s damn sure killing me!
Yeah, I’d imagine he’d take that one comment back if he could.
That said, I do believe he’s onto something when he suggests that open discussion format meetings can be devoid of the message of recovery.
To me, I question the value of meetings where steps and higher power (the solution) are not mentioned much, but the problem and all the tangentials are covered with great detail. I can count too many times when I listened to meeting speakers not even mention a connection with an HP or discussed in depth what the result of working a step was. I’m not saying there is no value in it, but without including equal time to the solution, the message is not being carried as effectively (as suggested in the 5th Tradition).
He says, “If you’re not ready, screw you.”
“Some people think I’m arrogant.” Check.
Confrontational and challenging. Thumper.
Chris R…. Fantastic